Cut to the Bone

by Ellison Cooper

  “Not sure if you noticed, but I met him last night.”

  “Yeah. I lost track of you when you left the Hearing Voices Institute. After I shot Pavel, I had to hide out while your agents were combing the area. I thought you’d gone to the hospital and I meant to catch up with you there, but of course I should’ve known better.” Jake let out a bitter laugh. “Instead, you were fighting a highly trained Special Forces soldier alone on the streets of D.C. I bet you were beating yourself up about him getting away without knowing that he is probably one of the most highly trained soldiers in the world. Most people don’t survive a tangle with Miles.” His voice cracked as he said, “I’ve missed you.”

  Sayer ignored his display of emotion. “So let me make sure I’m understanding everything. You’ve willingly let a murderer continue to kill children. And, rather than tell me what was happening with this case, and in general, you let me chase my own tail. All the while letting me believe that you are dead.”

  “I had to—” Jake started.

  “You had to let Miles kill all those people? Or you had to let me believe that you’re dead?” Sayer’s voice lowered.

  “Both. But I was talking about letting you believe that I’m dead. I had to for a few reasons.” Jake sat up a little as though he was about to make a prepared speech. “First, they knew how much I love you. If they ever hurt you, they knew I would turn on them. It was supposed to keep you safe…”

  “And how’s that working?” Sayer gestured to Jake’s singed fingers. “I mean, between Miles and your goons I’ve been attacked, what, three times in the past two days.”

  “Yeah, this whole case has changed everything. I should’ve come to you as soon as I realized they were willing to kill you.”

  “You think?” Sayer’s voice rose again. She was practically dizzy with the effort of keeping her emotions tamped down. “What’s the second reason you couldn’t tell me? I mean, I’ve only been mourning you every day for years now. I fucking sat at my kitchen table every night trying to figure out what really happened to you. I never gave up.” Sayer’s anger momentarily cracked, letting a torrent of grief take its place. Tears gathered in her eyes and she angrily wiped them away.

  Jake sat in silence for a long time, accepting the rebuke.

  “These people are ruthless and smart,” he finally said at a whisper. “Your reaction to my death had to be genuine. You might be a great field agent, but you are a terrible liar.”

  “Are you saying that my grief was a prop for your undercover operation?” Her voice was so low she almost didn’t make any sound.

  “No. It was meant to protect you. I truly am sorry, Sayer. I don’t know. I thought you would be okay.”

  Neither of them spoke for a long time.

  “You would’ve done the exact same thing that I did,” Jake added.

  “How can you possibly say that?” Sayer asked, feeling slightly numb.

  “Because I know you. If I’d told you what was happening back then, you would’ve told me I had to do it. But, instead of being safe, if I’d told you, you would’ve been in constant danger.”

  “Is that what you tell yourself?”

  Jake nodded. “It is.”

  Sayer let that thought tumble around. He might be right; maybe she would’ve told him to go undercover, but nothing could blunt the genuine pain she’d felt over his loss. And she had no idea what to do with the feelings she was having now.

  “If Windsor hadn’t gone off the rails, you’d still be doing this organization’s bidding,” Sayer said.

  “Until we could dismantle the entire thing,” Jake agreed. “Which we’re so close to doing. Though what happens next obviously depends on you.”

  “You mean, if I tell everyone,” Sayer said.

  “If you tell anyone.”

  “I know I can trust my team.” Sayer thought about Ezra, Max, Holt, and Al. “So what’s supposed to happen when your case is over and you’ve brought down the organization?”

  “Most of the men and women who joined genuinely believe that they’re working toward the greater good, weeding out weakness, you know the type. Not necessarily evil, but misguided. They’ll be given a chance to testify against the leadership.”

  “Which is…”

  “I’m sure you already know.”

  “Director Anderson,” Sayer said flatly.

  “Anderson has been placing politicians and judges in key positions for decades, but now he’s got the director of National Intelligence and most of the intelligence leadership in his pocket,” Jake said. “Hell, he’s even got two Supreme Court justices and half of Congress under his thumb. All of them being blackmailed. He’s basically untouchable through normal avenues.”

  If anyone but Jake was sitting in front of her telling this story, she wouldn’t have believed it. Buying off congresspeople was easy. They were constantly worried about reelection and needed to make sure campaign cash flow was good and scandal kept to a dull roar. But Supreme Court justices were a harder nut to crack. If this was all true, it was about to bring half of D.C. to its knees.

  “So, you bring Anderson and his organization down, what’s going to happen to the FBI? To you? And me?”

  “I was going to warn you first. We’d arranged for protective custody while I testify against them.”

  “Protective custody…” Sayer trailed off. “You thought I was going to leave my job and go hide in witness protection or something?”

  “I warned them you might refuse.”

  “Might.”

  Jake smiled at Sayer, clearly hoping she would smile back. Maybe share a laugh over how stubborn she was. It had been something they’d done all the time when they were together, but now it turned her stomach.

  “That might’ve worked on me once, but that’s over now,” was all Sayer said.

  “I know.” Jake looked away. “So, what is next?”

  Sayer looked at Jake one more time before she sighed and finally lowered her gun. She slid it back into the holster and pulled out her phone to write a quick text to Ezra, Max, Holt, Tino, and Al, warning them to be on guard with everyone, including FBI agents. Explanation to follow.

  She let Tino know that she got held up on the way to the hospital but would be there ASAP.

  After she hit send, Sayer closed her eyes and sat perfectly still for a very long time. She pushed aside the storm of emotions clouding her thinking and forced herself to picture the girls trapped on a bus somewhere—terrified, angry, desperate. All that mattered right now was them. And whatever she did now had to be to protect them no matter the cost. Unlike Jake, her only priority was to save their lives.

  “I have to go talk to one of Miles’s victims at the hospital. I’ll keep all of this”—she gestured at Jake—“from Quantico for now. But I won’t keep my team in the dark. I’m telling them everything and you’re going to help us catch Miles Windsor before he kills again. None of this is a negotiation.”

  Jake nodded slowly as he pulled up to the marina. He turned off the engine and held out his hand to shake. “Deal.”

  She took it and he looked into her eyes.

  “Anderson will do anything to stop you at this point,” Jake said, holding on to her hand. “Everything he’s built depends on him preventing you from finding Miles first. He was willing to murder the director of the CIA. You understand what I’m saying?”

  Sayer felt a gentle buzz of connection where their palms met. She pulled back. “I get it, he’s dangerous. Which is why we should get you to Holt. You can explain everything to her while I go talk to a girl who almost died because you thought she was an acceptable loss.”

  HOLT’S BOAT, MARINA, SOUTHWEST WASHINGTON, D.C.

  Holt stood on the deck of the boat staring at Jake. Her eyes were so sharp with anger, Sayer decided not to draw her attention by saying anything. Instead, she let Jake flounder a bit.

  “Assistant Director Holt, I can explain. I mean, if you’ll let us aboard, I can…” He trailed off under her with
ering gaze.

  Sayer hadn’t warned Holt about Jake, fearing that their communications were compromised. “He has quite the tale to tell,” Sayer said. “It explains a lot, but I need you to evaluate the truth of it because I sure as hell can’t be objective here.”

  Holt’s death stare flickered slightly and she stepped aside with a curt nod. “Fine. Permission to come aboard.” She spun and practically marched back to the cabin, rage radiating off her.

  Inside the cabin, Ezra stared baldly at Jake as they made their way down the ladder. He looked over at Sayer. “Is that?” Then he looked back at Jake. “Are you? What the hell?”

  Jake didn’t say a word as he made his way past Kona, sidestepping the dog who sat up as he passed, clearly reading the tension in the room. At the back of the cabin he sat awkwardly on the railing in front of the crab-filled fish tank.

  “Who is this?” Max asked, and Sayer realized that since he worked in the D.C. office, he had never met Jake before.

  “That is Jake Pendleton,” Holt growled as she took her seat next to Al at the table.

  “Who?” Al asked, eyes darting around.

  “Jake Pendleton was my fiancé four years ago. But he was killed in action.” Sayer realized that her voice was thick with emotion and so she stopped talking.

  “Uh, not to state the obvious about the whole killed part,” Al said.

  “Apparently he’s not dead after all. Jake, you want to explain?” Holt said in a soft voice that carried far more menace than any shout ever could.

  Jake spread his hands open and looked uncertainly around the room. “I don’t know some of you. I’d rather not—”

  “And I’d rather you start talking,” Holt interrupted him, voice still soft but perfectly clear.

  Jake swallowed loudly and nodded. “Of course.”

  While Jake explained, Sayer watched her team’s reaction. Ezra’s mouth opened and closed with shock. Holt’s face grew darker and more pinched as Jake spoke. Max watched with perfect calm, his eyes never moving from Jake’s face. Sayer could almost hear the calculations and doubts churning in his mind. And poor Al seemed utterly befuddled by the emotional bomb that was clearly just dropped on his band of detectives.

  Rather than listen to the whole story again, Sayer interrupted. “While Jake finishes explaining, I’m going to head to the hospital. Based on everything Jake has told me, I think we need to go silent on our phones. If he’s telling the truth”—Sayer paused and shot him a look—“then they are certainly monitoring our communication. I’ll be vague if I need to text or call. Otherwise, radio silence from now on.”

  She headed to the door but then paused, realizing that she had left her motorcycle outside her old place.

  As if reading her mind, Jake held out his keys. “Take my car. No one knows it exists.”

  Without a word, Sayer nodded, grabbed the keys he tossed her, and fled.

  ROAD TO FAIRFAX HOSPITAL, FALLS CHURCH, VA

  Sayer pushed the Porsche to its upper speed limit, making the frame vibrate, hoping to feel anything other than the numbness throbbing in her veins.

  Holt clearly had some difficult questions for Jake, and Sayer was glad to get away from him while she sorted out the hurricane of emotion threatening to swallow her whole. She tried to refocus on Nell Goodyear, but her thoughts kept slipping back to Jake. The little town house they’d made into a home full of laughter. Could she have that again? If she could slip back into that life now, would she?

  She thought about Tino and Adi. Vesper. How would Jake fit into her new family?

  Would she even want him to?

  Pushing aside the rosy image of their happy home, she thought about the man she’d just left with Holt.

  Through his inaction, he had let children die. If Jake had told her what was really going on, Nell might be safe at home rather than convalescing in a hospital bed after multiple abdominal surgeries. Maybe Rowena and Becky would still be alive.

  Sayer could logically understand why he made the choice that he did, but she couldn’t forgive it. Could she?

  “Get it together, Sayer,” she said to herself. She had a killer to catch.

  By the time she got to the hospital, she managed to get herself under control. She decided to stop by Declan’s room to fill Tino in on everything since he needed to be on guard. There was no telling when one of Anderson’s men might try to make another go at Declan.

  Tino and Declan were laughing about something as Sayer stepped into the room. Vesper curled on his back against Declan’s uninjured leg and the boy absentmindedly rubbed the dog’s belly.

  Tino’s eyes were still black and he wheezed slightly with every breath, but the color in his cheeks had come back.

  “Ah, the great huntress returns!” Tino got up and hugged Sayer. Vesper jumped down from the bed to greet Sayer and did a quick wind around her legs before returning to Declan’s side. Seeing Tino and Vesper felt like coming home after a long and frightening trip. She had no idea how she felt about Jake right now, but she knew without a doubt that this was her family.

  “I have a lot to tell you and not much time,” she said.

  Tino pulled a chair next to his and Sayer gratefully sat down.

  “I got your cryptic text about not trusting anyone,” he said.

  Sayer quickly explained everything that happened with Jake in vague terms since she didn’t want Declan to hear anything that might put him in danger.

  Tino listened, eyes like saucers.

  As Sayer finished her story, a nurse came in carrying a plastic bag that she handed to Declan.

  “Your personal effects. The police still have your clothes, but they did return your cell phone. I thought you might want it back.” The nurse smiled and left.

  Declan pulled out his phone and turned it on. It buzzed a few dozen times and he smiled. “People checking in on me,” he explained.

  Sayer made sure Tino felt comfortable there alone, then said her goodbyes before hurrying toward Nell’s room.

  She was surprised when a tall woman with dark skin wearing a tailored blue suit stepped out just before she could open Nell’s door. “Agent Altair?”

  “I am.”

  “I’m Nell Goodyear’s mother. Thank you so much for saving our daughter.” She gracefully wrapped Sayer in a hug. While still gripping Sayer, she continued, “Nell’s awake and would really like to see you. I know everyone would like to thank you personally.”

  Inside, Nell was surrounded by a dozen adults and at least as many kids of all ages. Despite being intubated and swaddled in wires and tubes, the girl’s eyes were clear. She raised a hand in a small greeting.

  “Everyone,” Ms. Goodyear announced, “this is Agent Altair. She’s the one who saved Nell.”

  A murmur of joy and thanks filled the room as they all pressed toward her. The men shook her hand. The women tearfully embraced her. A few of the older kids gave her warm, rough hugs full of big emotion while the younger ones briefly clung to her legs.

  By the time she was thanked by every single person in the room, Sayer had completely pushed aside her own internal turmoil. She owed Nell and all the missing and dead children her full attention.

  Sayer extracted herself from the warm embraces. “Do you mind if I talk to Nell for a moment?”

  “Of course!” Nell’s mom gestured for Sayer to sit in the chair next to the girl’s bed. When Sayer sat down, she realized that Nell’s family wasn’t going to leave.

  Nell reached for her hand and Sayer took it.

  “I know you can’t talk, but I need to ask if you can remember anything that might help us find the other girls.”

  The girl let go of Sayer’s hand and gestured for a pen. Nell’s mom swooped in with a pad and pen that she clearly already had ready.

  Nell wrote, Big room columns sandy floor. Close to Howard University.

  Her mom gasped. “I teach at Howard. You were close to the campus?”

  Nell nodded yes.

  “You said so
mething to me about black holes?” Sayer pressed gently.

  Lots of holes in the ground, she wrote.

  “Anything else you can remember? Anything else I should know?”

  Nell shook her head. Her eyes watered with an apology.

  “It’s okay, you did great. Your job now is to get better. My job is to find your friends.”

  They squeezed hands again and Sayer said farewell to the family.

  Out in the hall, she was about to text Ezra, but realized that she couldn’t.

  Sayer was never exactly by the book, but she was an FBI agent. Despite the agency’s horrific past, she had believed in the institution that she worked for now. Which was why her first instinct was to send everything she had to Quantico where she knew a few dozen good agents were working their asses off to find the missing girls.

  But, assuming Jake was right, she couldn’t trust her beloved agency with anything because she knew Anderson and his people were there, too, and they would happily just kill Miles and the girls to avoid being exposed.

  So, instead of telling Quantico that the girls were close to Howard University, Sayer decided to hurry back to the boat. Maybe Ezra or Holt could use the new information to finally find the girls.

  She was striding down the hall toward the exit when Tino’s voice called out, “Sayer!”

  Something about his tone made her heart skip a beat.

  Tino glanced over at the agent outside Declan’s door. “Uh, I forgot one thing I wanted to tell you about the house…”

  Sayer understood. He needed to tell her something that he didn’t want the potentially compromised agent to hear.

  Back in the room, Declan sat bolt upright in bed, holding his phone like it was a snake about to bite him.

  “What happened?” Sayer asked.

  “Declan was listening to all the messages on his phone when we got to one from Kate Brooks,” Tino said.

  “The missing girl?”

  “My girlfriend,” Declan whispered. “Listen.” He pushed play.