DEAD AS a DOORNAIL

by Tonya Kappes

  “That’s a plan. I’ve got a pair of sweatpants on my dresser with a t-shirt. And grab my sweatshirt off the chair.” I knew I should probably try to dress in something like jeans and not sweats, but I wanted Finn to love me for me and not my attire. “I’ll see you soon.”

  “Kenni, be prepared to take Jolee’s call. She’s not happy. I’ll tell you about it when you come over.” We said our goodbyes and hung up.

  “Anything new?” Poppa asked.

  “No. I was going to have him look in the dumpster behind Tiny Tina’s but decided to wait to see what Tom has to say about the nail polish.” There I went again, procrastinating on the investigation when I knew in my gut the polish was going to turn out to be the weapon like Max had concluded.

  “You’re making sure you’re doing it right.” Poppa was so good at getting the clues and the evidence before I flew off the handle and went around arresting anyone. “We have to make sure because remember, you’re only an election away from being without a job.”

  I gulped. He was right. There was no job security in being an elected official. I loved my job so it was worth the stress.

  The lab was on the edge of Clay’s Ferry. It was a small brown brick building. The bell over the door signaled my arrival.

  Tom Geary walked into the waiting room where I stood with the baggie. His grey hair was a little thinner since the last time I’d seen him.

  “Sheriff, to what do I owe the pleasure?” Tom outstretched his hand and I shook it.

  “Pleasure?” I asked. “Even though I do enjoy seeing you, I wish it was under different circumstances.”

  “I’m assuming what you want me to look at is in that bag?” He looked at the baggie in my hand and nodded.

  “It’s a fingernail.” I held it out for him to take from me. “My victim has been killed by cyanide and it’s believed the polish painted on her nails was tainted with it.”

  “That’s awful.” His brows furrowed. “Your Poppa and I did a lot of cases with poison put in drinks, but this is a first.”

  Poppa beamed with pride. He loved being around Tom. They worked a lot of cases together and that’s why I still used him. There weren’t any labs in Cottonwood and I didn’t have time to send it off to the state-run labs, so I continued to have clearance to use Tom’s lab when I needed quick results. This was one of those times.

  “I remember some of those. Poppa really enjoyed your friendship.” I wanted him to know how appreciative we were.

  “I was about to go home, but I’ll get right on this.” He continued to look at the nail.

  “I also wanted to know if you could give me a breakdown of the polish. One of my suspects owns a nail salon and she makes her own polish. I just so happened to be there when the owner of the salon said some bad things about the deceased, who was at the time living.” It was a lot to take in. Something none of us would even think up, but a cold-blooded killer would. “The deceased even asked for this particular polish and the owner refused to give it to her.”

  “I see.” Tom’s lips pressed together in a thin line. His nose flared. “With all my years of working with the police, I shouldn’t be surprised by a lot of the outcomes, but this.” He shook the baggie. “Sorta sick.”

  “Thanks, Tom.” It was time for me to get back to Cottonwood and put this day behind me.

  Once we got back into the Jeep, Poppa was quiet. He stared out the window deep in thought.

  “Tell me what’s going on up there.” The days were getting darker earlier as the seasons started to melt together. It took a lot to stay motivated after sunset when the cold set in. Heading home to Finn keeps me going and staying focused.

  “The whole fingernail-polish thing is crazy. Not only does it say that someone is sick, but who would do that to a woman?” he asked. “Another woman.” He answered his own question.

  “That’s what makes Tina look like the killer. She knows about making polish, she makes that particular color, and she did threaten Lucy Ellen.” I just felt awful about it. “Why on earth would Tina do something like that? Because of some no-show appointments? Bad reviews? Why would she kill her?”

  Sure, when I was there to ask her if she’d seen Lucy Ellen the night before Lucy’s death, there were a couple of clients who’d cancelled.

  “Was it the reviews that spurred Tina to kill Lucy?”

  Poppa’s chest heaved up and down as a loud sigh left his body. “What about the other women in the shop when Tina said that? Who was there?”

  “There was me, Jolee, and the bridal party, as well as Tina and Cheree.” I still wanted to talk to Cheree just to make sure she hadn’t talked to Lucy Ellen after she left the shop. “I need to expand my suspect list and go to the library to check out all the reviews Lucy Ellen wrote.”

  “It’s hard to look at our friends and think they can do something so horrific.” He had a way of giving me instructions without actually giving them.

  “Yes. You’re right. I need to go see and talk to everyone who was there that day. Apparently, Jolee isn’t happy, and I plan on talking to Cheree tomorrow.” I mumbled, “Then there’s the Euchre bridal shower tomorrow night where I can feel out Polly and her crew.”

  “Time and patience will reveal all the clues we need,” Poppa agreed. “Keep your eyes and ears open. All them gossiping hens will give you bits and bites of information that you can chew on. Remember, solving a crime is putting a puzzle together. We have the pieces, we just need to fit them together.”

  Chapter Nine

  “She wasn’t happy.” Finn’s eyes stared at me. The gold flicker of the candle between us put a sparkle in his eyes. Or maybe it was the look of a satisfied belly from all the pizza we’d just consumed.

  Duke lay on the floor underneath the table and Cosmo was curled up in my lap. Finn wasn’t a big cat person, so when he took in Cosmo I was completely surprised. Not me. I loved all animals, and Cosmo was a great cat.

  No matter how much he told me that my best friend, Jolee Fischer, was mad that I’d sent him to ask her questions about her argument with Lucy Ellen Lowell, I couldn’t really raise a care because the way he looked at me overcame any feelings I had about anything going on in my life at this moment. Not even Poppa keeping a close eye on us between his wisps in and out of Finn’s house bothered me.

  “If she’s not guilty, she has no reason to be mad.” I shrugged and took a nice long drink of the red wine Finn had grabbed from the Dixon’s Foodtown wine aisle, which wasn’t much different from Boone’s Farm Strawberry wine.

  “I think she was more mad that you didn’t question her, kinda like girl talk or something.” He wiped his mouth and put his napkin on his plate.

  He stood up and walked over to his phone that was connected via Bluetooth to his speakers and put on a slow romantic tune. Jokingly, he waltzed over and stuck his hand out. Immediately I put Cosmo on the floor and took Finn’s hand. He pulled me up and swept me into his arms.

  There were no ballroom dance moves or fancy footwork; it was simply swaying back and forth in the middle of his kitchen until we eventually scooted into the new addition.

  “You know you make living here so much easier.” His voice was low and seductive as he whispered into my ear.

  My hands were snug around his waist. When I looked up, I noticed his calm and steady gaze.

  “I am going to use my vacation time during Christmas to go back and visit my parents.” Finn’s voice was a velvet murmur in my ears.

  Finn was from Chicago, where his parents and sister still lived. They were a close family. I’d only met his sister once when he first moved here. She’d come to visit and was actually going to take Cosmo, but fairly quickly found out that she was allergic.

  “Christmas?” I asked, trying not to sound like some whiny girl, but I loved Christmas. If there was anyone I wanted to spend it with, it was Finn.

  �
�If we plan now, we can get someone from the state reserve to come for the week and you can go with me.” His gaze moved around my face like a soft caress. “I think it’s time you met my folks.”

  “Are you sure?” I stopped the sway. “This is a big step.”

  Finn had once told me that he never took girls to meet his parents because his mother would hound him about them. I also remembered him saying that if he did take a girl home, it meant that she was probably the one. This sent my spirit soaring.

  “There’s no one I’d rather spend my Christmas with than all the people I love and want to spend the rest of my life with.” He raised his hand and slowly ran the back of his fingers down my cheek.

  My chin dipped. He used the pad of his finger to tip my chin back up to look into those eyes that made my toes curl. I quivered at the tender touch of his kiss and knew that calling the state reserve was a priority in the morning. Though Christmas was a few months away, I knew I had to make sure it was a go.

  It took everything I had to drag myself two doors down when it was time to go home and get some sleep.

  Solving Lucy’s murder should’ve been the main thing on my mind as I tried to go to bed, but it wasn’t. My mind exploded with images of a happy Christmas spent in Chicago with Finn and his family, which caused me to lose sleep.

  “Sweetly sang the donkey at the break of day!”

  That couldn’t be the voice of my mama singing to me at six a.m., I thought the next morning. “If you do not hear him this is what he’ll say. Heehaw, heehaw, heehaw, heehaw.”

  The romantic night before with Finn still had my heart in a pitter-patter. I pushed Duke’s head off the pillow next to mine and dragged it over my head.

  “Sic her, Duke,” I instructed my bloodhound. “Right in the jugular.”

  Mama continued, “You obviously hadn’t heard the donkey.” She cackled.

  “Mama, no one in this room thinks you are funny at six in the morning,” I mumbled under the pillow and pressed it tighter to my head as I wished her away.

  “Get up. You have one hour until you have to be at the office and you’re spending it with me,” she proclaimed, swinging my closet door open.

  “Remind me to take her spare key away.” I reached out from underneath the pillow and ran my hand down Duke’s back. I tugged the pillow off my head.

  Duke groaned, giving in to her. With both front legs out in front of him, he slipped them off the bed. He stood with his front paws planted on the ground and his butt on the bed, his hind legs dangling off the edge. He and I both watched as Mama went through my closet, pulling out clothes she wanted me to wear for the hour with her.

  “I’m going to be spending time with you tonight at Euchre,” I said, hoping it was enough together time to suit her.

  “This morning, I thought we’d go for breakfast.” She pulled out a floral-printed dress and held it out for me to see. “A healthy breakfast since you need to get off a little of that weight.”

  “If you think I’m fat now, wait until I get back from spending Christmas with Finn’s family. I’m going to be explosive,” I joked, knowing that it would send her into the looney bin that I wasn’t going to be in Cottonwood on December twenty-fifth.

  “You’re what?” Mama gave me the eye. “Now you quit being ugly and teasing your mama.” She held up another dress for me to put on.

  I shook my head. Her lips twitched, her nose curled. She stuck it back in the closet and came out with a pair of brown sheriff pants and a long-sleeved uniform shirt. A much better choice, especially since I had to go to work after she lectured me on fitting into that darned dress.

  I nodded. She snarled.

  “Now get up and get ready.” She threw the clothes on the bed. “Come on, Duke. Granny will take you out.”

  Duke didn’t hesitate at the word “out.”

  “Mama, where are we going?” I asked and dragged myself out of bed and into the bathroom to get my shower. I was going to need a long hot one to get me started on the right foot if I was going anywhere with Mama.

  We only had two real breakfast spots to eat at in our small Kentucky town: Ben’s Diner and On The Run food truck.

  “Paula Parker’s house,” she hollered down the hall from the kitchen.

  “Mama!” I yelled and ripped the shower curtain open. I wrapped my hair in a towel and grabbed my robe, throwing it on my soaking wet body. “What is this? Some kind of intervention? I’ve already agreed to counseling with Preacher Bing.” I walked into the living room.

  “For goodness sakes, I know you two are dating, but go get some clothes on.” Mama held her hand to her chest like I’d just committed a sin.

  Finn stood behind her with a cup of coffee in each hand and the biggest grin on his face. Now that was a face I’d love to see every morning. His smile was infectious and I returned it.

  “Good morning.” He looked so handsome in his brown sheriff deputy’s uniform. “I wanted you to start your day off with a good cup of coffee from Ben’s, but I hear your mom is going to take you out for breakfast.”

  “Thank you.” I took the coffee. My body shivered as our fingers touched. He bent down and kissed me. Not nearly like last night, but I didn’t care.

  “Young love.” Mama swooned. “To be your age again.” She let out a happy sigh. “Finn,” Mama batted her lashes at my beau, “my daughter is really trying to get my goat at this hour of the morning. Isn’t she terrible?”

  Mama gave me a slight shove toward the hallway. I padded back down to get ready.

  “I’m wearing my uniform,” I called over my shoulder.

  “How awful of her,” I heard Finn respond, and then I heard the sound of kibble being poured into Duke’s bowl. “What on earth has she done?”

  “She’s saying that she’s going to Chicago for Christmas and I know that’s not true. I mean,” Mama had on her dramatic Southern voice, “I know that Kenni’d never leave her mama alone on Christmas since she’s my only daughter. Could you imagine the pain your mama would feel if you were her only child and she had to wake up on a holiday like Christmas alone?”

  I stood with the front of my robe gripped in my hand next to my chest and the water dripping down the sides of my face with my ear up against the crack in my bedroom door. This was a test on just how well Finn could stand up to Mama. A test that I’ve always feared but never thought would come this soon, or this early, in the morning.

  “Please be on your game,” I whispered.

  “Viv, I did ask Kenni to go to Chicago for Christmas to meet my family. It’s only fair that my parents get to enjoy the presence of the fine young woman that you’ve raised. I want to show her off.”

  Finn was saying all the right things, if it were any other time of the year that he wanted me to meet his family.

  “That just won’t do.” Mama’s sweet Southern voice turned into a sweet Southern strict voice. One I knew all too well. “Your mama is just gonna have to meet her in January. Because we have the big Christmas festival here in Cottonwood and the annual parties of our friends. Kenni will be expected to be in attendance for all of them.”

  Shortly after she gave Finn a good tongue lashing, I heard the backdoor slam.

  “Honey?” Finn called. “I don’t think your mama is taking you to breakfast anymore.”

  About that time my phone chirped a text. I walked over to my bedside table and looked down. It was Mama. She said she’d see me at the Parkers’ residence in ten minutes. Too bad Finn didn’t make her madder.

  Chapter Ten

  I would’ve texted Mama back and told her twenty minutes because I wanted to get in a little smooch time with Finn before he headed back to the office, but if I did that she’d have been fit to be tied.

  Duke went to the office with Finn and twenty minutes later, Poppa and I pulled up in front of the Parkers’ gated mansion. Their massive h
ouse wasn’t far off the road and it was rumored they’d built it that way on purpose. To show off. It was just like Pete and Paula Parker to do such a thing.

  I pushed the button on the intercom and was greeted by one of their hired staff through the black box.

  “Kenni Lowry here for breakfast.” I looked over at Poppa and rolled my eyes.

  They knew I was coming. Why didn’t they just leave the gate open?

  When the gate did open, I pulled the Wagoneer up and around their circular driveway and parked it right in front of the large lake in the middle of the drive. The four concrete swans as big as my Wagoneer were already spitting water out of their beaks.

  There was a woman at the front door with a tray in her hand and she seemed to be awaiting my arrival. On the tray was a green glass of yucky-looking something or another. There was a piece of paper propped up in front of it that read my name.

  “I’m assuming this is for me?” My brows rose.

  The lady nodded. I could tell she was trying not to smile after I took it off the tray and dumped it over into the Parkers’ bushes next to the front porch.

  “That was tasty.” I smiled and put the glass back on the tray.

  I walked into the house. “Sheriff.” Paula Parker acted as if she’d not seen me in years. Her nose curled up like it always did and her face squished up like a prune.

  I gave her the once-over, noticing her chin-length brown hair looked like she’d just gotten it done by Tina. Her signature pearls were clasped around her neck. I couldn’t help but wonder what time the woman had gotten up to get all dolled up for little ole me.

  “I don’t think this involves me.” Poppa fidgeted nervously after he ghosted in and ghosted right back out. “I’ll go do some digging around about Lucy. I’ll meet you at the Lowell house,” he said, reminding me that seeing the crime scene was my number one priority this morning.

  I instantly wanted to protest because now I was really alone here and suddenly uncomfortable.

  “It’s so good to see you this morning, but I can only stay a minute. Duty calls.” I tapped the utility belt around my waist with my gun nestled in the holster. “Not to mention I’ve got an appointment with Preacher Bing.”