The Rancher Next Door

by Susan Mallery

  “I don’t know. You said we had a relationship.” He lowered his gaze to her belly. “Are you pregnant?”

  She winced. “I don’t want anything dependent on whether or not I’m going to have a baby.” She wanted him, but only if he wanted to be with her. She wasn’t interested in duty—only love. “Can’t this be just about us?”

  “If you’re pregnant, it’s not about us. It’s about the baby, too.”

  Which is exactly what she didn’t want to hear. “I don’t know,” she told him. “My period is a couple of days late, but that doesn’t mean anything. I’m often late.”

  “You’ll let me know when you’re sure one way or the other?”

  She nodded. Tears burned in her eyes, but she held them back. She wasn’t about to let him see her cry again. Damn the man for being so stubborn.

  “If you’re pregnant, we’ll work it out,” he said. “I’ll be there for you.”

  “And if I’m not?” A foolish question when she already knew the answer.

  “Then you won’t need me.”

  Katie nodded, even though she knew that he couldn’t be more wrong in his assessment. She would always need him. He was the man in possession of her heart. Her one true love. And if she wasn’t pregnant, she was going to lose him.

  Chapter Thirteen

  “W hat are you thinking about?” Hattie asked a few days later as she and Katie sat on the front lawn, enjoying the sunshine and playing with the puppies. “You’re very quiet.”

  Katie rubbed the ears of the cuddly female shepherd stretched out across her lap and contentedly gnawing on an old sock. She’d been thinking about Jack, because the man seemed to always occupy her thoughts these days. She was, as she’d told Nora, incredibly confused about just about every part of their strange relationship. She found herself desperately hoping she was pregnant because she wanted to have Jack’s baby. Not only would she like more children, but she felt she needed a way to bind him to her.

  At the same time, she prayed she wasn’t pregnant because she didn’t want a man staying with her out of duty. She was afraid if there was a child, she would never know if Jack really cared about her or if he was just doing the right thing. Her mind whirled and tipped and zigzagged from topic to topic until she couldn’t think straight anymore. Unfortunately, she couldn’t share any of this with his mother.

  “I was thinking about…” Her voice trailed off.

  “My son?” Hattie offered helpfully. “You had a distant look in your eyes, and I wondered if he was the one who had put it there.”

  She glanced at Jack’s mother. Hattie sat in a low lawn chair, a pillow tucked at the small of her back. Her long hair had been swept up in a simple twist, to keep it out of puppy reach. Katie sat next to her on an old blanket. The remaining two puppies had flopped down for a quick afternoon nap.

  “I was thinking about Jack,” she admitted, not sure how much of the truth she could share. “In some ways I feel as if very little has changed between us, but in other ways, he’s completely different. I guess part of it has to do with the fact that the last time I saw him, he was all of nineteen, and now he’s a grown man. He’s been married, divorced, had life experiences that molded him.”

  “That’s true. I’m sure you’re different to him, as well.” Hattie looked at her and raised her dark eyebrows. “I always wondered if there was more between you and Jack than anyone knew. Am I right?”

  Despite the fact that she hadn’t done anything wrong and that it had been years since she and Jack had stolen away to spend time together, Katie felt herself blush. She pressed the back of her hand against her cheek and sighed.

  “We were close,” she admitted. “We kept it a secret from everyone. We thought it was safer that way. Too many people would have disapproved and made trouble.”

  “Especially after what happened with Nora and David,” Hattie agreed. “What an uproar that was. I could never understand why so many people cared if the two of them had fallen in love.” She glanced at Katie. “So you and Jack stopped seeing each other when you went off to college.”

  It wasn’t a question, but Katie nodded anyway. “I wanted him to go with me and of course he couldn’t. I see that now, but when I was eighteen, all I could think was that he didn’t love me enough.” She shivered at the memory. “It wasn’t pleasant for either of us.”

  Jack’s mother nodded slowly. “I suspected as much at the time, but I wasn’t sure and I didn’t want to pry. Jack took on so much after Russell left. I helped out where I could, but there were six other children claiming my attention, including Wyatt, who was so young. Jack did such a good job. My blame lies in the fact that I would forget that he was a young man with a young man’s dreams. It was so easy to have him step in and take charge.”

  One of the puppies stirred. Hattie reached down to pet its head. “When he met Melissa, I was happy for him,” she continued. “He’d been restless for over a year, but with her he seemed content. I was wrong.”

  Katie was surprised. “What do you mean? I know he loved her. Jack wouldn’t marry anyone he didn’t truly care about.” Except possibly herself, if she was pregnant. But she didn’t want to think about that.

  Hattie leaned back in her lawn chair and stared at the sky. Clouds piled up at the horizon. A big storm was expected to move in sometime that night or early tomorrow.

  “Melissa was a lovely young woman,” Jack’s mother began slowly. “At first they seemed very much in love. Although Melissa’s travel took her away for several weeks at a time, she was always happy to be on the ranch. Once she confided in me that she was thinking of quitting her job so that she and Jack could have more time together and start a family.”

  Katie fixed her face in what she hoped was a polite, concerned and interested expression. However, her insides felt as if they were being ripped apart by a giant set of sharp claws. Jealousy tore at her, making her ache. She wanted to scream that she didn’t want to hear any of this. She didn’t want to hear the details of Jack loving someone else. It was one thing to know intellectually that he’d been married and therefore must have been in love, it was another to have that intellectual knowledge made real.

  “If that’s how Melissa felt, why did she leave?” Katie asked.

  “I don’t know,” Hattie admitted. “That never made sense to me. Melissa adored him—she would have done anything for him. I think, in the end, Jack wasn’t willing to give her his heart.” Hattie smiled. “That sounds melodramatic, I know, but it’s what makes the most sense. He’s so worried about being—or rather not being—his father. As I watched their marriage dissolve, I began to wonder if the only way he could protect himself from the past was to keep his emotions locked away. Melissa used to talk about being unable to reach him. She never knew what he was thinking or feeling.”

  Katie understood that frustration intimately. “I know Jack has some reservations about his past,” she admitted. “We’ve talked about it a little. Russell’s leaving had a big impact on him.”

  Hattie sighed. “You’re right. I don’t think I saw it before, but he and I talked recently, and I realize that he’s never made peace with what happened. He can’t accept the consequences of Russell’s actions, so he’s rejecting the man by turning his back on him and his memory. Unfortunately, that makes his father into a one-dimensional devil. Russell was much more than that. I’m sure Jack’s happy memories from when he was young conflict with what he feels now.”

  “That makes sense,” Katie said, turning the idea over in her mind. If Jack thought his father was a horrible man, he wouldn’t want to be anything like him. Yet as a boy, he’d adored Russell. Love and disdain collided in his heart. He wouldn’t know which side of his father was real, or how to act.

  “Do you think Jack chased Melissa away?” she asked. “So on the surface he got to say that she was the one who left, when in fact he’d been the one to make her leave?”

  “Maybe. You’d have to ask him that yourself.”

  Kat
ie smiled at the thought. “That would be a most uncomfortable conversation.”

  Hattie laughed. “I would love to eavesdrop, so warn me when you plan to bring up the topic.”

  “Don’t hold your breath.”

  Jack wouldn’t be excited to have a detailed conversation about his subconscious motivations during his marriage. No doubt he would point out Melissa had been the one to physically walk away, just as she, Katie, had.

  Katie sucked in a breath. The two most significant romantic relationships in his life had ended when the woman he loved had disappeared. Is that the real reason he was so reluctant to get involved again? Maybe his fears about being too much like his father were little more than a smoke screen. But if that was true, was it good news or bad?

  A breeze swept across the yard. The wind was cool and damp. Katie shivered. “We’re going to have rain tonight.”

  Hattie nodded. “I’ve asked Shane to fix up one of the empty stalls for the puppies. A thick nest of straw will keep them nice and comfy.”

  For the past couple of nights it had been warm enough for the new additions to the family to sleep in a tangle together in a gated part of the yard. But tonight would be too cold and wet. Katie pulled the girl puppy close and rubbed her soft fur. Puppies were safer to think about than Jack.

  “We’ve got to name these three,” she said. “I guess I should let Shane have his way.”

  “You don’t like Muffin, Rover and Spot?” Hattie asked, her voice teasing.

  “I was hoping for something with a little more dignity, but we can’t keep calling them ‘here, boy’ or ‘here, girl.’ They need an identity.” She gazed into the female puppy’s big brown eyes. “You look like an Elizabeth to me, but I doubt Shane is going to like the name.”

  A pink puppy tongue swept across her cheek in agreement.

  Hattie leaned over to pat the two dogs at her feet. “I started raising guide dogs when Wyatt entered first grade,” she said. “The house was empty with all the kids gone, and I was lonely. Russell had been gone nearly seven years then.”

  Katie thought about that time. “Jack should have been off at college. Instead he was here.”

  “I know.” Hattie gave her a sad smile. “My son became a man too quickly. But he’s a good man. Better than his father.” Her smiled faded. “I knew Russell wasn’t a paragon of virtue when I married him. My parents warned me there would be trouble. They were right. I found out he was having an affair the same day I delivered Jack.”

  Katie pressed her lips together, not knowing what to say. There had been rumors of Russell’s infidelity, but she’d never known if they were true or just idle gossip.

  “I loved him,” Hattie said simply. “I didn’t want a divorce and I didn’t want to be with anyone but him. So I looked the other way. It hurt every time I found out about another woman, but I chose to stay in the marriage. I could have divorced him and forced him out, but having him around was better than having him gone. In the end he left anyway. The truth is, I wouldn’t trade those years with Russell for anything. Even knowing he was going to leave me, I would do it all again. I doubt that Jack would agree.”

  “As you said, you can see Russell as a flawed man,” Katie said. “But to Jack, Russell is his father. Fathers are always supposed to be perfect. Every child is shocked to find out that isn’t true.”

  “Then you came along and complicated everything,” Hattie said.

  Katie thought about her late period. Things were more complicated than Jack’s mother knew. “We’ll figure it out,” she said with a confidence she didn’t feel. “One way or the other.

  “Tell me about Josie,” Katie said as she peeled the paper wrapper off her straw. “What have you heard?”

  Suzanne, dressed in jeans and a blue sweater, her hair still damp from the short walk from her truck to the diner, smiled. “It’s all good news. Dallas says the first reconstructive surgery on her face went great. There are going to be at least three more major reconstructions. Her legs are healing, as well. I’ve spoken with her on the phone a couple of times, and she seems to be in good spirits.”

  They sat in a window booth at the downtown diner by the hospital. Katie had asked Suzanne to join her for lunch the next time she was in town. The two women hadn’t seen each other since Katie had moved out, nearly four weeks before.

  “I’m glad to hear it. I haven’t had a chance to call her for a few days,” Katie said. “I’ll make sure I do that tonight.”

  Rain splattered the windows as heavy winds buffeted the glass. Spring weather in Texas could be volatile. Several more storm fronts were due after this one.

  She leaned forward and touched her stepmother’s hand. “How are you doing?”

  “I’m fine,” Suzanne said with a dismissive gesture. “We’re going crazy at the ranch. Your father is complaining about the weather. If he’s not worried about too much rain, he’s complaining there won’t be enough. Blair has her junior prom a week from Friday and is already in a panic. She can’t decide how to wear her hair. Up or down. Which earrings, how much makeup? Brent’s baseball team is going to state finals which means I’ll be traveling with the team.”

  “You sound busy.” Katie studied the older woman’s blue eyes and the shadows under her lower lashes. “You also look tired. Are you getting enough sleep?”

  “I’m fine. Everything is very…” Her voice trailed off. She busied herself with her paper napkin, then glanced toward the kitchen. “The salads are taking a long time, don’t you think?”

  The diner was full, with several people standing by the door waiting for tables. The scent of grilling hamburgers blended with the fragrance of coffee and freshly baked pie. Katie glanced around for their waitress, but didn’t see her.

  “I’ll flag her when she walks by,” she offered.

  Suzanne briefly closed her eyes. “Don’t. The service isn’t slow—I’m just being difficult. It’s—” She swallowed and forced a smile. “So, how are you?”

  “Suzanne, what’s wrong? And don’t tell me nothing. Is it Dad?”

  Her stepmother nodded slightly. “Aaron can be difficult. That’s all. No surprise there.”

  “I don’t believe you.” She leaned forward and lowered her voice. “I’m not that twelve-year-old kid anymore. I’m all grown up and I’ll bet I can handle anything you want to say. You’ve always been supportive of me, and I’d like to return the favor. If you need someone to talk to, I’ll listen.”

  Suzanne shrugged. “I appreciate that. It’s nothing new. Just…he’s so stubborn. I swear the man would turn his back on everything, his marriage, his relationship with you kids, the ranch, just to be right. I talk to him but he doesn’t listen. He says I’m too sensitive and impractical. Too emotional. He won’t see how he’s hurting all of us.”

  Katie knew exactly what her stepmother meant. “Dad was really cruel about Shane,” she said. “I’m so angry with him and at the same time I know he’ll never change. So the choice is mine. If I want to make peace with him, I’ll have to accept him. I need to figure out a way to allow him contact with Shane while making sure that he doesn’t have the chance to hurt my son. Not an easy balance.”

  She hesitated, remembering the conversation she’d overheard when she’d gone to collect her things. Aaron and Suzanne had been fighting. There had been so much pain and frustration in Suzanne’s voice.

  “I love you,” she told her stepmother. “I want you to always be a part of my family. You took all of us through our teen years and you never once lost your cool. I want to be as good a mother to Shane as you were to all of us.” She touched Suzanne’s hand again. “Having said that, I want you to know that while I have to make peace with my father because he’s my father, you don’t. You can leave if you want to.”

  “I’ve considered that,” Suzanne admitted. “Sometimes I think he’s trying to drive me away, although I don’t know why. As for what I’m going to do…I haven’t decided.” She shook her head. “Enough about that topic. Le
t’s hear about you. How’s the house?”

  “It will be ready in about three weeks.”

  “Good. Are you excited to have your own place at last?”

  Katie told herself to answer right away. Any hesitation would give away her secret. “Yeah, sure,” she said, but she wasn’t fast enough. Suzanne had known her for years and figured out the truth instantly.

  The woman across from her looked inquisitive. “How interesting. You’re not thrilled to be leaving the Darby ranch. I know Hattie is a lot fun to be around, but I suspect she’s not the reason you’re reluctant to go. Could it be someone in particular?”

  The waitress arrived with their salads. Katie picked up her fork, then put it down. Suddenly the food wasn’t very appealing. “It’s Jack,” she admitted. “But it’s not simple. I know how I feel about him, but he’s not saying how he feels about me.”

  “Have you asked him?”

  “Not exactly. But we’ve talked about things and he’s made it clear he doesn’t want anything permanent with anyone.” She refused to discuss the possibility of her pregnancy. There were some things Suzanne didn’t need to know.

  “Have you told him you’re in love with him?”

  Katie had been taking a sip of her soda and nearly choked when it went down the wrong way. “I’m not in love with him,” she said automatically.

  Suzanne didn’t respond. She simply waited, nibbling on her salad and looking expectant.

  Katie sighed. “Okay. Fine. I’m in love with him, but he doesn’t care. He’s too busy trying to not be his father to even notice.”

  “Then maybe you should tell him.”

  “Jack is determined to avoid romantic entanglements.”

  “That’s very nice for him, but people don’t always get to choose whether or not they get involved. Sometimes it just happens.”

  Katie returned to her office and thought about Suzanne’s words all afternoon. About two-thirty Hattie called to say that Jack was going to be in the area and had offered to get Shane from school. Katie knew her son would be thrilled to see his hero waiting for him in the ranch truck. A little after three, when she was collecting her equipment for her standing appointment with Hattie, she felt a familiar cramping sensation low in her belly.