ARC: Assassin Queen

by Anna Kashina

  “Not really, no.”

  “There is no way for us to be together. The Majat would never allow it.”

  He stepped closer. “I love you. Now that the war is over, we can finally be together without the fear of the Kaddim looking over our shoulders. We are finally safe. Do you think I care about rules?”

  “But the Guild…”

  Mai shrugged. “What could they possibly do to us?”

  She hesitated. She could think of so many things the Guild could do to them. In the very least, if Mai disobeyed the Code, he would become an outcast. The Guild likely wouldn’t stop until they were both dead. They would have to run forever.

  “You can’t give up your life,” she said. “Not for this.”

  “Why not?”

  She hesitated. It was so hard to think straight when he was standing so close. “We were all trained to put our duty first.”

  “I’ve done my duty,” Mai said. “We have defeated our archenemy, the one who threatened to destroy us for centuries. All that’s left now is dealing with mundane politics and day-to-day operations. The Guild has plenty of capable men to manage a job like this.”

  She shook her head. She didn’t want to cling to this hope, but at least for now she also didn’t have the energy to continue this argument.

  “Do you still want to marry me?” Mai said.

  She frowned. “Is this a trick question?”

  “No.”

  “Yes, I do.” She was surprised to see his shoulders sag briefly, as if her answer relieved a serious concern. It seemed odd, but she didn’t have the strength to wonder. It was useless to dwell on the possibility too long. Sooner or later, she was going to have to give him up, even if for the moment the Majat Guild may be willing to look the other way.

  “If you mean it,” Mai said, “perhaps you can agree not to push me away, at least for now?”

  “To what end?”

  “In the very least, we are yet to hear the Guild’s formal decision on the possibility of our marriage.”

  Kara’s lips trembled. “Isn’t it obvious what the decision would be? I am a crown princess, for Shal Addim’s sake. I wish I could renounce my bloodlines, but I cannot possibly do that, can I?”

  “Would you have wanted to if you could?”

  Again, his question struck her as odd. Suddenly she felt so tired that even standing up straight seemed like too much of an effort.

  “Can’t you just let me go?” she asked.

  “Not unless you want me to.”

  Her eyes filled with tears. Why was he making it so hard?

  He kept his eyes on her as he raised her hand to his lips and kissed it. She shivered. How could he touch only her hand, yet make her entire body feel so affected?

  “Perhaps,” he said, “we can at least postpone the rest of this conversation? You can always send me away later, if you really want to. Right now, though, I’m dying for a bath, aren’t you?”

  A bath. There couldn’t be any harm in taking a bath just now, even if she knew exactly what would happen if they found themselves together without any clothes. Thinking of it made her insides clench, a sweet weakness spreading over her body.

  “All right,” she said.

  Mai grinned. “Good. Let’s go find your quarters then.”

  “My quarters?”

  “Your royal apartment. Rajmella’s consorts were kind enough to tell me where it is.”

  The royal apartment Rajmella had provided for Kara was as large and luxurious as the one offered to Mai before, when they had first arrived at the palace. It seemed a waste to use only a small part of it, a bedroom that opened into a large bath chamber with its own pool, but at the moment they hardly needed anything else. Well, perhaps food, at some point, but this point seemed distant and vague in Kara’s mind as she sank into Mai’s arms.

  This was goodbye, she was telling herself. It had to be, for there was no way this could ever continue beyond these few last days they had, before the Majat left the palace forever to return to the Guild. Yet, at the moment she felt too exhausted to dwell on the thought, grateful for whatever time they had, determined to make the most of it.

  At some point during the evening they heard a knock on the door. Kara didn’t feel like getting up, so Mai threw on a robe and disappeared, to return moments later with a large tray of food and some clothes draped over his shoulder. He grinned as he sat the food down on a small table at the foot of the bed and lay out the clothes on a chair at the other end of the room.

  “Queen Rajmella asked for an audience whenever you’re up to it,” he said. “She left a man at the door to wait for your response.”

  An audience. Perhaps Rajmella’s intention with this request was to show her how things were going to be for Kara from now on? The fact that she had put it in such a respectful way suggested that Kara was going to be treated according to her station at this court, even if all the prospects of a future here still seemed bleak. She forced the thought away. The sight of the food – strips of spiced lamb and freshly baked bread, mint and cucumber relish, and a bowl of fresh figs – reminded her that she hadn’t had a meal since morning and spent a large part of the day exerting herself in intense physical activities. She settled at the table and dug in, sipping spiced pomegranate cider from a tall goblet.

  When they finished eating, Mai collected all the dishes onto the tray again, ready to take it outside. Kara sat back, watching him. She knew she should respond to the Queen’s request, probably do her best to see Rajmella today. Yet, somehow, she had the nagging feeling that doing so would put an end to her time with Mai, which had already stretched far longer than she expected. Mai had things to do. They had allowed themselves a brief moment of indulgence, but in the end it didn’t change a thing.

  “You should go,” she said.

  He raised his eyebrows. “Are you sending me away?”

  No. “Yes.” She realized as soon as she spoke that it didn’t sound convincing at all.

  The tenderness in his gaze suddenly seemed like too much to bear. If she had to give up a man, it seemed utterly unfair that he had to be so bloody perfect in every possible way. She turned away abruptly. Mai slid his hand over her cheek, gently turning her face back to him.

  “I am not all that anxious to rush the events,” he said. “Are you?”

  No. But I’m afraid of how much it would hurt when they force us apart. Her eyes filled with tears. Perhaps she was indeed being a coward, trying to break things off before time.

  It suddenly occurred to her that ever since she and Mai had found their way into her quarters, the place had been eerily quiet. Normally Mai couldn’t take a step without at least some of his Emerald guards. Was something strange going on she wasn’t aware of?

  “Where are your guards?” she asked. “How come none of the Majat bothered us today?”

  Mai’s face lit up with a mischievous grin. “After you renounced your throne, you left before you could see all the court ladies rush at our men.”

  “They did?”

  “Yes. Apparently the ladies who were, um, involved last time spread the word. The Majat are officially in high demand at this court.”

  “And you allowed it to happen?”

  Mai shrugged. “It seemed only fair. After everything we’ve been through, I felt our men deserved a break. I hope they’re enjoying it now, even if I wasn’t so sure in a couple of cases.”

  “What about Seldon?”

  Mai laughed. “The Queen requested him personally.”

  “The Queen?”

  “In her own words, he looked like an experienced man.”

  “Did he actually agree to it?” She was having trouble picturing it.

  “Eagerly, even if he did his best not to show it too much.”

  Kara looked at him, dumbfounded. At Seldon’s age, he was certainly the last man she imagined to be interested in this sort of thing. She hoped the Queen wasn’t going to be bitterly disappointed.

  “Do you want to
grant the Queen her request for an audience?” Mai asked.

  She sighed. She really didn’t want to leave his arms just yet. “I suppose I should. But what are you going to do in the meantime?”

  He grinned again. “From what I’ve learned of the local customs, the consorts are normally allowed to be present at such meetings, unless otherwise specified.”

  The consorts. She supposed by the local customs she could call him that, a thought that she found unexpectedly appealing. If he wasn’t a Majat, he could indeed stay here with her in this capacity, but there was no use to wish for what couldn’t be.

  She forced away the regrets as she donned her formal outfit.

  44

  A Warning

  Rajmella looked at Mai with interest as she settled into the divan in the anteroom of Kara’s suite. The Queen’s two consorts knelt by her feet like watchdogs, surveying Kara with lusty expressions that made her feel instantly uncomfortable. She put her hand in Mai’s and he grinned wickedly as he made a show of running his finger down her palm, his touch making her momentarily forget where she was.

  “I hope you’re finding your accommodations to your liking, Your Royal Highness,” Rajmella said.

  “Yes, they are very comfortable, thank you very much.” And far too excessive. Kara guessed that all the extra rooms were necessary to house servants and consorts expected for someone of her station. The prospect of spending the rest of her days in here seemed dreadful, but at least she would now have the memories of her time with Mai to keep her going.

  “I wanted you to know how much I appreciate what you did,” Rajmella said. “With the way you and I started off, you had every right to execute me for high treason. Giving the queendom back to me – that was the most unexpected gesture I ever imagined. I have to admit, however, that you left me curious. Why did you do it?”

  Kara sighed. “Because I truly believe you make a far better Queen.”

  “Why?” Rajmella’s eyes lit up with keen interest.

  “You’ve held this position for nearly twenty years, to everyone’s satisfaction.”

  Rajmella laughed. “There is no such thing as everyone’s satisfaction where a whole country is concerned. At any given moment, it is an absolute guarantee that at least some will be disgruntled and a few others will probably hate me and want me dead. It comes with the territory, so to speak.”

  Kara’s lips twitched. “Yes, that too. I hope you’ll forgive me if I say that there is nothing about the job that I find even remotely appealing. Not when we have a far better candidate, right here.”

  Rajmella shook her head. “Why do I have a feeling you are evading the question, niece?”

  Maybe because I am? Kara met her eyes. Unexpectedly, this direct conversation made her feel much closer with the older woman than she imagined possible. “If you want the truth, here it is. I am not cut out for this. I am too used to deciding everything in battle. My training, my attitude, they’re all wrong for ruling a land that has known nothing but peace and prosperity up until now. I know my responsibilities, and I’ve been taught to always live up to them. In this case, I would be doing ill service to our people by staying in charge.”

  Our people. There, she’d said it. The people of Shayil Yara were her people too. In time, she would learn to come to terms with it. But would she ever truly feel like one of them?

  Rajmella briefly inclined her head. “I think I understand. And as I said, I am grateful. I do think I can be a good Queen. It’s just that you looked so glamorous when you rode into the city yesterday.”

  Glamorous. This was the word that always came to her mind when she thought of Mai. Perhaps some of his glamour had rubbed off on her during the time they were close? Or maybe it was true that they did have so much in common – not that it mattered anymore.

  “People adore you,” Rajmella said. “Even now that you stepped down so publicly, as the name Aljahara is beginning to sink back into the legends and lore, they sing songs about you out there.”

  “They will forget me,” Kara said. “As long as I don’t appear in public too often. The songs will help, actually.”

  Rajmella kept her gaze a moment longer, and Kara had an uncomfortable feeling the Queen understood her much better than she led to believe.

  “There’s a matter of heirs, though,” Rajmella said.

  “Heirs?”

  “My first daughter, Aljbeda, who is being raised at the northern throne.”

  Kara nodded. Aljbeda was a spirited and intelligent child, thrown into far too much politics at the age of six. It had been a cruel thing to separate her from her mother.

  “Aljbeda is wonderful,” Kara said. “And if it was up to me, she would be sent here immediately. I can’t influence this decision, though.” She glanced at Mai. Perhaps, as the Majat Guildmaster and the man who led their entire army to victory, he might be able to venture the question to the king of Tallan Dar?

  “I agree,” Rajmella said. “But it’s not that. Even though you abdicated, if you ever have any daughters, their claim to the throne would supersede that of mine.”

  Daughters. Kara swallowed. The idea of having children had always been so far from her mind that she was having trouble embracing it.

  “I am warded against pregnancy,” she said. “All female trainees at the Majat Guild receive a warding spell at a very early age.”

  “Yes, but if you marry, wouldn’t the warding spell be lifted by the priests?”

  Marry. Against reason, the word struck her at the core, like a dagger plunged into an open wound. Rajmella knew enough about the Majat Guild’s politics to realize that Mai couldn’t marry into the Olivian royal house. She also could probably never relate to the joy and sorrow that came with giving all the love you were capable of to only one man.

  “Not that it’s ever going to happen,” she said, “but if, for argument’s sake, we imagine that I was allowed to marry Mai, the warding spell would not be lifted. In fact, if it wasn’t already in place, the spell would be applied at the mere possibility of such union. Having children, at least legitimate ones, is out of the question for a Majat Guildmaster.”

  Rajmella smiled. “He is not the only man in the world.”

  He is, as far as I am concerned. Kara glanced away. She didn’t think this was something Rajmella could possibly understand.

  “If there are any formalities you want me to go through to ensure that Aljbeda has the right of succession, I will,” she said. “Aljbeda deserves it – and from having seen her at the northern court I have no doubt one day she will be an even better Queen than either of us.”

  Rajmella’s face remained solemn, but Kara could see her eyes light up with pride. “Thank you. And now that we have this out of the way, I also wanted you to know that as long as you stay here you will be treated like family. I will personally ensure you never want for anything in your life. Including your share of men, once you are ready.” Her eyes hovered on Mai again. “I know this particular prospect doesn’t interest you at the moment, but perhaps you would see things differently one day?”

  “I won’t,” Kara said. “But thanks anyway.”

  Rajmella looked at Mai curiously. “I must admit, the Majat men have something about them that would make your situation almost… understandable. All of our court ladies fortunate enough to get one of them into their chambers yesterday could speak of little else this morning in the throne room. As for your Aghat Seldon…” She paused, her cheeks lighting up with color.

  Kara gaped, her own cheeks warming up at the mere idea. Mai’s quick grin pushed her thoughts even further, until her embarrassment became nearly unbearable. The last thing she ever wanted to think of was Seldon’s sexuality.

  “I’m glad you enjoyed yourself,” she said.

  Rajmella smiled, as if oblivious to the undertones. “I did, and I will again, as long as his duties permit this interlude. The reason I brought this up is to let you know that I think I now understand why, with the wealth of options our p
alace has to offer, with the way all our best consorts are swooning over you, you choose to lock yourself up with only one man. He must be the best of them all.”

  “He is,” Kara said, “but as I understand it, we are speaking from different reference points.”

  “Yes and no. When I see you together, I also understand more, something I don’t encounter too often. You truly love him, don’t you?”

  Kara glanced away. She was trying not to think about this at all. She knew if she spoke now, she would probably burst into tears – not something she would ever want to do in front of the Queen.

  “So, what are you two going to do?” Rajmella asked.

  Kara squeezed Mai’s hand. She didn’t feel like talking, not that she had anything at all to say.

  “We’ll deal with it when the time comes,” Mai said.

  Rajmella looked at him thoughtfully. “Like I said, anything I can do, just let me know. For the moment, I am guessing I would do best to leave you to your privacy. Before I go, however, I wanted to inform you of another reason for my visit. My scouts spotted a large and very official group that emerged from the forest at Gard’hal outpost and is now on its way toward the capital. The King of Tallan Dar is among them. Along with some other important people, including, I believe, several members of the Majat Guild.”

  “The Pentade,” Mai said. “They accompany the King at all times.”

  “I know that. My scouts report, however, that their numbers are greater than five the Majat Pentade is supposed to have, and that some of these men look very senior.”

  Mai shook his head. “Impossible. I would have been informed.”

  “Perhaps they wanted it to be a surprise?”

  “Unlikely.”

  “In any case. I felt it was my duty to tell you this you as soon as I could.”

  Kara’s heart raced as she and Mai exchanged quick glances. This must have to do with the answer to Mai’s request for marriage. Their time together was coming to an end.

  She tried to tell herself that she expected this, that she was ready for it. She forced away all other thoughts as she looked into Mai’s eyes.