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Zara's Witness

Page 12

by Shubhrangshu Roy


  Zara looked up and looked around and twirled. Raising her hands sideways to shoulder height, she took one small step for the giant leap forward, love pouring out of her heart, words melting in her mouth:

  Floating beyond the horizon of reality,

  On a carpet of smoke,

  I see life abound in joy.

  It’s a world of goodness, beyond grasp.

  I leave my world far behind

  Flying over the clouds

  To a magical place—I find eternal joy.

  As the gateway to knowledge opens

  Revealing to me the eternal truth . . .

  The greatest joy I can find

  Standing at the golden gate.

  There’s nothing here, but eternity!

  Standing here on my flight of fancy

  Among the stars, I see no god

  Nor another being.

  With both my arms outstretched

  Grasping the pillars of conviction,

  Facing the truth

  And nothing, but the truth

  I, the eternal being,

  The highest form of creation,

  Standing all alone by myself

  I see none other than me.

  The rest, mere projections of that

  Great unknown that manifests

  As the supreme being in my mind

  Ever since I came down to earth.

  Rising above the mundane,

  I get to understand that

  There’s only existence.

  Existence self-existing.

  I, the eternal eye that surveys the world

  And pictures myself sometimes

  As an elephant, at times as a frog

  And yet other times as a lizard, changing colours

  And still more often as my likeness,

  But another than my own self

  Sometimes, I see myself in twos,

  At others, in threes, fours; a multitude.

  I see myself in you, in you, in you!

  Jo tu hai, so main hoon; jo main hoon, so tu hai!

  And so, in one and all, I find my whole.

  Level V

  THE END OF STORY:

  THE GAME BEGINS

  NOTHING STIRS!

  In the beginning, there was a dark, bottomless pit, lonely and silent. The stars of the distant space were shrouded behind the veil of ignorance. Unborn. And in that absolute darkness, darkness crept upon darkness, raising heat. And in that figment of imagination, the first sign of life appeared as the hum of silence. And in that humming, the seed of love was born.

  And so, the moments passed by the second as if into hours, and the hours as if into days, and the days as if into fortnights, and the fortnights as if into months, and the months as if into years. For, there was no then then, no there there. There was no time. There was no space. When all of a sudden, a flash of lightning tore the darkness, cracking open the wormhole of the mind, splitting the dark space between the earth and the sky.

  And into the abyss fell the seed of love, a thousand times smaller than a speck of dust, growing to the size of a tip of hair, growing, growing, growing . . . to the size of a kernel of millet, a mustard seed, a barley grain, a seed of rice, to the size of a bubble. And the bubble grew in the dark and silent hollow, trapping within it the shadows of the earth, the space, the sky, the sun, the moon, the stars, the cosmos. For, the bubble alone was the mind, its body life, its form light, its conception truth, its soul space, containing all desires, all odours, all tastes, encompassing all of creation, without speech, without concern.

  And within the bubble, emerged the sonorous voice:

  The Ownership of the I and the Icon leads to Comparison

  This Comparison leads to Desire

  That Desire of the Self is to get back to what originally was

  This Desire then leads to Discontent

  That Discontent leads to Labour

  This Labour leads to Employment

  That Employment leads to Action

  This Action leads to Result

  That Result leads to Envy

  This Envy leads to Anxiety

  That Anxiety leads to Fear

  This Fear leads to Thinking

  That Thinking leads to Passion

  This Passion leads to Lust

  That Lust leads to Enmity

  This Enmity arises when what is split cannot be got back as One without Eliminating the Other

  That Other, if not Eliminated, leads to Hatred

  This Hatred is the opposite of Love

  That Hatred leads to Confrontation

  This Confrontation leads to Violence

  That Violence leads to War

  This War leads to Destruction

  (Upon which the bubble burst and there was darkness once more.)

  That Destruction is Liberation

  This, then, is the essence of the Universe, trapped within the bubble in a cycle of give and take, of good and bad, fear and hope, joy and sorrow, love and hate, peace and war.

  Having travelled beyond the idea of the dot, the self fears dissipation into nothing in the vastness of its reverberations, so it deploys its entire force that emanates out of itself back to the dot that lies at its core within, till it is devoid of energy and is no longer the whole, and so does the identity destroy itself.

  This, truly, is the essence of birth and death.

  This is also the essence of the collapse of the stars into the wormhole . . .

  . . . of the collapse of the worlds . . .

  . . . of the collapse of the earth . . .

  . . . of the collapse of the plants . . .

  . . . of the collapse of the worms . . .

  . . . of the collapse of the animals . . .

  . . . of the collapse of the forests . . .

  . . . of the collapse of habitations . . .

  . . . of the collapse of civilisations . . .

  . . . of the collapse of philosophies . . .

  . . . of the collapse of god . . .

  . . . of the collapse of man . . .

  And in that complete collapse, life is liberated.

  And that life is sva. And from that sva pours forth ha! the seed of love.

  And so, travels light from big dazzle to dim light to absolute darkness . . .

  . . . in the hope of a new dawn.

  APPENDICES

  THE ESSENCE OF THIS AND THAT

  In the Beginning there is Something

  This Something appears as Nothing

  From That Nothing arises Consciousness

  This arousal is Movement

  That Movement is Reverberation

  This Reverberation is Energy

  That Energy is Power

  This Power is the Basis of Attraction

  That Attraction is the Basis of all Creation

  This Creation is the Reverberation of Something that appears as Nothing

  That Nothing is the Whole

  This Whole is symbolised by the Dot

  That Dot is the manifestation of Nothing

  This indeed is the Self that is Centred on and Complete in Itself

  That Dot that appears as Nothing is Virtual Reality

  This Consciousness of that Dot, which is the Self, is Self-consciousness

  That Self-consciousness is the Ego

  This Ego is Mine

  That that is Mine belongs to Me

  This Me is what the Self perceives of Me

  That that the Self perceives of Me Within is what the Self sees of Me

  This Self indeed is that Self

  That Self sees this Self with the Eye

  This Eye sees that Self with the Inner Eye

  That Inner Eye is I

  This I is the Quantification of Zero

  That Quantification is also the first known Quantity

  This Quantity of I is an Idea

  That Idea is the Eternal Nature of I

  This Nature in its Original State is Instinct

  That Instinct leads
to Individuality

  This Individuality results in Indentity

  That Indentity creates the Image

  This Image is the Icon

  That Icon leads to You

  This You is Universal

  That Universal is Knowledge

  This Knowledge of I resides in You

  That Knowledge is what I Need

  This Need is what IOU

  That that IOU is the Trinity of Being

  This Trinity is represented by this I in my original state of

  Being that resides in what appears as Nothing that

  Reverberates as the Idea of Individuality that gives me the Identity that creates the Image that is the Icon that is You that is Complete in Itself

  Therefore, IOU the culmination of the Self in You

  That indeed is the Beginning, and this also is the End

  This is the Spirit that created the Son out of the Father

  That Spirit is the Basis of Faith

  This is Therefore That

  That Therefore is I AM

  This I am is what You are

  That Therefore is what IOU

  That that IOU is the culmination of this Self in that You, making for a Virtuous Circle

  This Circle reverberates into bigger and bigger circles centred on the Dot

  That Dot is I

  This Circle is Therefore the Reverberation of the I in You

  That IOU is the manifestation of the Idea that is I, and that

  Idea is Nothing, rendering Myself Zero till it becomes You

  This You is only a Virtual Manifestation of that I manifested in the Idea

  That You cannot be proven otherwise, but for the Real I that by itself appears as Nothing

  This is also to say in Real, IOU Nothing

  That indeed is the basis of Transaction

  This is also to say that that Real is Void

  That is also to say that that Virtual too is Void

  This is to say that in Virtual Reality what appears to be Real is also Virtual

  That is to say as in Real, so in Virtual Reality, IOU Nothing

  This is to say that when IOU Nothing, I am Free

  This Freedom, therefore, is Virtual Reality

  That Freedom is also Real because this Me that is Virtual is also that Me that is Real

  This is because I cannot exist in reality just by Myself and need to Create You

  That You is the virtual Me

  This is reason that I need to live in Virtual Reality

  That makes Me live in You

  This alone, therefore, is the Basis of Relationship

  That Relationship is the first Virtual Cycle that grows out of I in You and encompasses the Universe in larger and larger Reverberations from Family to Community to Society to Nation, to Commonwealth to Planet to the Solar System to the Galaxy to the Universe to the Cosmos

  This really is the Game

  And in That Game, IOU Nothing

  Therefore, there is No this Winner and that Loser

  This Game is Tied and

  That Tie is Love All

  This I is Complete in its Game

  That Game is Complete in its Dignity

  This Dignity is Complete in its Worthiness that is Innate to its Identity in the State of Nature

  This Worthiness is Awakened by Excellence

  That Excellence is Achieved when the Self is One with its Other

  This Oneness is the Basis of Love

  That Love is the Basis of Sharing

  This Sharing leads to Renunciation of the Self in the Other for Common Good

  That Renunciation leads to Division of this Whole, which is the Division of that Self, which is the Division of this Idea, which is the Division of that Identity, which is the Division of this Image, which is the Division of that Excellence, which is the Division of this Love with the Other

  This Division, in Reality, amounts to Nothing

  That Division, in Virtual Reality, amounts to Division of Everything that makes for Innate Dignity

  This Sharing leads to Splitting the Complete Whole, in Two, which then, is no longer One, even when imparted with exactly the same attributes in Equal Measure

  That Splitting leads to Creation

  This Creation leads to Preservation

  That Preservation leads to Ownership

  This Ownership between Two results from Ownership of One by the Other

  That Ownership of the I and the Icon leads to Comparison

  This Comparison leads to Desire

  That Desire of the Self is to get back to what originally was

  This Desire then, leads to Disconnect

  That Disconnect leads to Labour

  This Labour leads to Employment

  That Employment leads to Action

  This Action leads to Result

  That Result leads to Envy

  This Envy leads to Anxiety

  That Anxiety leads to Fear

  This Fear leads to Thinking

  That Thinking leads to Passion

  This Passion leads to Lust

  That Lust leads to Enmity

  This Enmity arises when what is Split cannot be got back as One without Eliminating the Other

  That Other, if not Eliminated, leads to Hatred

  This Hatred is the Opposite of Love

  That Hatred leads to Confrontation

  This Confrontation leads to Violence

  That Violence leads to War

  This War leads to Destruction

  That Destruction leads to Liberation

  This, then, is the essence of the Universe, trapped within a bubble in a cycle of give and take of good and bad, fear and hope, joy and sorrow, love and hate, peace and war.

  THIS SPACE IS TIME

  1 atom = 0.0000001 mm

  10 atoms = 0.000001 mm = 1 nm (nanometre)

  100 nm = 1 particle of dust = 0.0001 mm (which is the tiniest visible object of the human eye)

  10 particles of dust = 1 point of hair = 0.001 mm

  10 particles of hair = 1 kernel of millet = 0.01 mm (0.01 mm is considered to be the tinniest object visible to the human eye)

  1 sperm cell = 0.5 mm

  10 kernels of millet = 1 seed of mustard = 1.0 mm

  10 seeds of mustard = 1 grain of barley = 10 mm = 1 cm (standard contemporary measure of one grain of barley = 8.47 mm)

  10 grains of barley = 1 finger = 1.763 cm

  14 fingers = 1 ft. = 24.682 cm (the largest standard shoe size in UK/US is 30.5 cm, which was also derived from the measurement of standard barley corn in the UK)

  24 fingers = 1 arm = 42.312 cm

  96 fingers = 1 staff = 4 arms = 169.248 cm = 5 ft. 6 41/64 in.

  1 staff is also measured as the standard human height.

  2,000 staff = distance to which the cow’s lowing can be heard = 2,000 x 169.248 cm = 3,38,496 cm = 3,384.96 m = 3.38496 km

  4 times the distance of a cow’s lowing = 13.53984 km = distance covered by an elephant in a day’s march.

  1 march of six months = 180 days = time taken for the Sun to move from the South Pole to the North Pole. 180 days is also the time taken by the Sun to move from the North Pole to the South Pole.

  360 days* = Distance covered by the Sun from the South Pole to the North Pole and back to the South Pole = 1 year

  1 year = 4 seasons of three months each: spring, summer, monsoon, and winter. 1 year is also equal to six seasons of two months each: spring, summer, monsoon, autumn, winter, deep winter.

  1 month = 2 fortnights (new moon to full moon and full moon to new moon) each of 14 days = 28 days

  1 fortnight = 7 days

  1 day = 1 dark half + 1 bright half = 24 hours = 1,440 minutes = 86,400 seconds

  1 bright half = 12 hours

  1 hour = 60 minutes = 2 periods

  1 period = 30 minutes

  1 minute = 30 seconds = 2 moments

  1 moment = 15 seconds

  1 second = 2 flutters

  1 flutter = 1 win
k = 0.33 seconds

  *Standardised for equal division of year into two halves

  END NOTE

  Dear Zara,

  Thank you for your patience. I hope you found Zara’s journey interesting.

  I am sure you might be wondering what really happens to Zara later on. Why does the story not provide a closure to Zara? This makes it important to remember that this is a book for you, not about you.

  So, let me revert to the backstory on how this book was designed.

  In imagining this story, I borrowed several concepts from diverse streams, many of which have been detailed in my letter to you at the beginning of this book. In crafting Zara’s Witness, I also looked at the principles of hallucinations and dreams.

  You might have already observed that the story unfolds in a series of hallucinations at different levels. Now, the thing about hallucinations and dreams is that they actually do not have a beginning or an end. You always wake up in the middle of a hallucination or, to put it simply, your dream is almost always broken without an ending or a conclusion. That is why dreams are always open to interpretation.

  The other thing about dreams is that they take you through parallel terrain that always seems to be familiar ground but is often a place you might not have actually visited before. So, Zara of this book, too, travels from stark wilderness by the riverside, through the forest, to her destination in the city, where she confronts her lookalikes for the first time ever, all alone, before merging with everything in the sky—the other realm of imagination.

  There were other thoughts as well, that went into plotting Zara’s journey.

  We have been taught from childhood about the four stages of life as per ancient Indic wisdom: the Brahmacharya Ashrama, the Grihastha Ashrama, the Vanaprastha Ashrama, and, finally, the Sannyasa Ashrama.

  Zara’s Witness reverses that order starting with the Sannyasa Ashrama by the riverbank where she is mesmerised by evocative memories of her bubble taking shape alongside a multitude of identical bubbles at the tongue of the glacier, high above in the mountains; the Vanaprastha Ashrama that forces her to walk through the jungle and confront personal loss in the death of her long-time companion, Elly, the elephant; and the Grihastha Ashrama, where she reaches the city to find abundance and fulfilment, taking in the sights and senses of soul-enriching food at Mamaroy’s Kitchen, which, to borrow Upanishadic thinking, is the very purpose and culmination of all life—we are all part of the great food chain of the Universe. The oven at Mamaroy’s Kitchen is the sacrificial pit, the havan kund or the yagna altar, that transports oblations from mortals on earth to the immortals in the sky. I felt that Zara’s journey to the sky (to the high heavens, as it were) and what happens thereafter, should be left as an open-ended happily ever after rather than forcing a closure. Leaving Zara in the sky is to leave her both at the mercy and/or in the celebration of the readers’ imagination. There were three issues here.

 

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