Redeeming the CEO Cowboy

by Charlene Sands

  “It was no walk in the park for me either, big brother. But I hated that Luke worried himself. I sure do love that man.”

  “Spare me.”

  His best friend had gotten his little sis pregnant and, stubborn as she was, she’d refused to marry him at first, despite Casey’s demands and Luke’s inept proposal.

  He pulled up a chair by the side of her bed, turned it backwards and straddled it. “So you’re feeling okay, really?”

  “Ready to run a marathon today.”

  Casey studied her face. A flush of color replaced the ashen tones from earlier this morning. She was groggy from the meds, but Audrey’s attitude seemed up to snuff. If she gave him sass, she was feeling pretty darned good.

  “So the prognosis is good?”

  “That’s what the doctor says. They’re letting me go home later today.” Her eyes misted, a sudden gush of emotion spreading over her face. “I can’t wait to see Ava. We’ve never been apart.”

  “You will.” He took her hand to reassure her. “I bet Luke brings her to pick you up.”

  “Gosh, Casey. It’s scary how much I love that little girl.”

  Casey used his other hand to rub the back of his neck. Thoughts of Susanna and Ally popped into his mind. More and more he was picturing himself with them now. And more and more, the blurry lines of that image were becoming clearer in his mind. Soon, he’d tell Susie the truth. “She’s a sweetheart.”

  “Speaking of sweethearts, how’s my friend S-Susanna and her little Ally? Are things going well...with our plan? We haven’t spoken for a while.”

  The plan? Casey thought of Susie and Ally differently now. He hadn’t thought of them as his mission lately. There was more to it than that. But no matter what happened in the future, he had managed to get some things accomplished and he felt damn good about that. “She sends her love, honey. And it’s going well. Suse is thinking about opening her shop finally. I offered her a partnership.”

  “Suse?” Audrey’s face softened and her mouthed slanted up. “Did you just call her Suse?”

  Casey let her question roll off him. “She’s got a good head on her shoulders. She’s going to give me her answer soon. She and Ally need some stability in their lives and the shop will give them that. She’s doing a terrific job raising that little girl.”

  “I can’t imagine raising Ava without Luke.” Tilting her head, she spoke slowly. “I remember how we would spend our summers daydreaming about getting married and having babies. Susanna always wanted a big family of her own. I guess that comes from being an only child. We had baby names picked out and everything. Anyway,” Audrey said, her soft voice whimsical now, “my fantasy life is coming true. I hope the same happens for Susanna one day.”

  Casey stared at his sister. A watery mist welled up in his eyes, making it hard to focus.

  Audrey’s words brought new meaning to heartache.

  Susie always wanted a big family.

  He felt the bitter acid rise in his gut and splash onto everything warm and happy inside him. He’d never felt more broken than right now. Split in half. The truth was his slayer and there was no way around the defeat.

  Didn’t Austin tell him he would’ve done things differently in his life so that Elizabeth could’ve had children? Didn’t his mentor and good friend regret that he’d let his wife down? That he’d let growing his business dictate their lives, until it was too late for them to have children? He’d almost lost Elizabeth because of it.

  Casey shuddered.

  What was he thinking? He couldn’t have Susanna. It wouldn’t be fair to her. He couldn’t give her what she wanted. She’d already made enough sacrifices in her life.

  He loved her too much to allow her to make this sacrifice for him.

  He loved her.

  Hell, how could he be around Susie and not fall in love with her? True, in the beginning, he hadn’t seen it coming, but as he got to know her, day in and day out, there seemed no way to shut down his emotions. They’d overpowered him.

  Now, his heart ached in a way it never had before. And the sad reality was that he could never give Susanna the big family she wanted.

  He didn’t want Audrey to see him this way. Mustering a smile, he reassured her, “I’m...sure Susanna’s life will turn out just fine.”

  “Casey, are you okay? Your face just turned sheet white.”

  He sighed and then lied to his sister. “That’s what not eating or sleeping all night will do to you. I’m not as young as I used to be, kiddo.”

  * * *

  Later that afternoon, Casey turned into the driveway of his Reno home with a lump in his throat. Charger came running off Susanna’s porch, making a beeline for his car. Now, of all times, the dog was eager to see him? Susanna had kept him overnight while he visited his sister.

  “Charger!” Susie’s sweet voice rang in his ears. She came barreling off the steps, with Ally in her arms. His chest constricted seeing the two ladies in his life racing toward him, both giddy with laughter.

  Susie wore her usual Sweet Susie’s lavender T-shirt and a tight pair of studded blue jeans. Her hair was loose and flowing behind her in a wash of cinnamon curls. Ally waved to him. She looked adorable in a yellow gingham sundress, her blond locks lifted in two ribbon-encased pigtails.

  He couldn’t help smiling. They were magnificent.

  His love for them poured over him in sudden unequivocal waves, a torrential rain that was unstoppable, and the pain it caused knotted his stomach and burned a hole in his heart.

  He opened his car door and his boots hit asphalt as he lumbered out. He slumped his shoulders, feeling weary and confused but straightened before Susie noticed. Shouldn’t loving someone feel better than this?

  Charger’s scrappy paws were on his legs instantly; the little bundle of energy took Casey’s mind off his problem. He lifted the puppy up and scratched him under his chin. The pup’s tail whipped against his chest. “Easy now, Charger.”

  And then Susie was there, facing him. Ally smiled, giving him a little wave. “Hi.”

  “Hi,” he said to her.

  “I’m glad you’re back,” Susie said. Her face beamed and he wanted to return the joy, but said nothing.

  “How’s Audrey?” she asked, breathless.

  “She’s doing pretty well, considering what she went through. Luke’s there with her now. With any luck, she’ll be home before dark. She’ll make a full recovery.”

  “That’s a relief. I called the hospital a few hours ago to see if she could talk to me, but she was sleeping. I’m glad you called me this morning to give me an update.”

  “Sure, no problem. I was happy to do it.” He put the dog down. “Thanks for watching the pup. I hope he wasn’t too much trouble for you.” He used a formal tone that had Susie blinking her eyes.

  “Not at all.” She studied him now.

  Ally begged to be let down and Susie lowered her to the ground. “Stay close, Ally.”

  When she straightened, her eyes were two probes into his soul. “Anything wrong?”

  He shrugged. “I’m just beat. It’s been a long twenty-four hours. I think I’ll hit the sack early.”

  Susie nodded. “Well, okay. If you want Charger out of your hair, I’ll watch him again.”

  She already did too much. He wasn’t going to pawn his dog off on her again. “No, that’s not necessary, Susanna.”

  There was a note of longing in her eyes that seemed to equal his own. It took a great deal of willpower not to kiss her senseless and tell her what she meant to him. But it was better this way for her. He couldn’t resume their relationship now or give her false hope. He had to tell her the truth and break it off with her.

  “Well, then. Get some rest tonight, Casey.”

  “Will do,” he said to her. Then he sh
ifted toward the dog. “Charger! Come.” He slapped his thigh and the pup’s head popped up. He didn’t waver this time. He left Ally’s side, trotted over and they both entered the house together.

  Casey walked straight into the kitchen, opened a cabinet and pulled out a bottle of Scotch and a shot glass. He carried them into the living room, turned on the television and sank down onto the sofa. But he didn’t take a drink immediately. He sat up, braced his elbows on his knees, closed his eyes and covered his face with his hands. What now? This was all a big giant-size mess. There was only one way out. Tell Susanna the truth and be done with the agony.

  Charger jumped up on the sofa, circled around a few times, then landed with his chin on Casey’s lap. Absently, he stroked the dog’s champagne coat and stared at the screen. A classic western was ending. The starch-shirted cowboy mounted a speckled pinto and reined the horse toward the blazing sunset, leaving the sweet-faced girl behind. Somehow, it seemed charming and romantic on the silver screen.

  In real life?

  Not so much.

  * * *

  Susie arranged pieces of southern fried chicken, mashed potatoes with gravy and honey corn muffins on a plate. Covering the dish with aluminum foil, she sealed the edges and reminded Ally, “Remember, we have to be really quiet, sweetie. Casey might be sleeping when we get over there.”

  She put the note she’d written on top of the covered dish. If Casey didn’t answer his door, she planned to put his meal in his fridge, leave him the note and dash in and out of his house without waking him. Hooking his keychain on her finger, she grabbed the plate and extended her hand to Ally. “Let’s go.”

  Ally thought it was all fun and games.

  Susie hoped Casey would appreciate the gesture. He was a hopeless cook and if he woke up hungry, he’d have a nice meal waiting for him. All he’d have to do was microwave it.

  She knocked softly on Casey’s back door.

  Silence answered her.

  She knocked again, her ear close to the door. She heard no movement or sounds.

  Charger was probably asleep too.

  “Okay, Ally. Stay with me and don’t say a word.”

  Tiptoeing into Casey’s kitchen, just off the back doorway, Susie made her way toward the refrigerator. Ally was steps behind her, giggling quietly. Susie grinned. Luckily, Casey was a sound sleeper. She doubted Ally’s soft noises would carry to his bedroom.

  Susie enjoyed doing nice things for Casey. A meal here, a backrub there. It wasn’t much but it was all she had to offer him. He’d been doing nice things for her almost from the day he’d moved in. Including offering to be her silent partner in Sweet Susie’s Pastries and More. While he was gone, she’d mulled it over in her mind in between worrying about Audrey. In fact, Audrey’s brush with illness only served to remind her life was short and precious. Heaven knew her father’s life was cut short. Now, was the time for her to act. If Casey wanted to be her partner, why shouldn’t she take him up on it? Why not go all in to secure stability for Ally and herself? She’d hoped to discuss it with him tonight to give him her answer, but he was clearly exhausted. He hadn’t seemed himself when he’d come home. Tomorrow, after he was well rested, they would have a chance to talk.

  Just as she opened Casey’s refrigerator door, music rang out from another room. She jumped and fumbled with the dish in her hands, catching it before it crashed to the floor. She froze and spun around to Ally, putting two shushing fingers to her lips.

  Ally’s hand flew to her mouth to cover another round of giggles.

  Then Susie heard the rich baritone sound of Casey’s voice.

  * * *

  Casey jerked from sound sleep to an upright position on the sofa when his phone rang. He groped for his cell on the side table and knocked into a whiskey bottle. The damn thing tipped and he caught it just in time. He set it next to his shot glass. The two of them had been fast friends a few hours ago.

  “Hello.”

  “Casey, it’s Audrey.”

  His mind sobered up quickly. “Audrey, is anything wrong?”

  “No, no. I’m home now, in my own bed. And feeling better. The anesthesia has worn off and I’m on pain meds now, but nothing too strong.”

  “Okay, that’s good to hear.”

  “Actually, I’m calling about you.”

  “Me, honey? Why?”

  “Well, uh, once my head cleared of all the fog, I started to remember our conversation at the hospital.”

  “And?”

  “Well, your eyes lit up when we were talking about Susanna. You had this look on your face, Casey. Sort of like the look I get when I’m talking about Luke. And you called her Suse. I don’t know, it sounded so sweet.”

  Casey stilled and rose from his seat. He stared unseeing out the living room window. Audrey was hitting too close to home. “Susanna is a sweet woman, Audrey. What are you getting at?”

  “Are you falling for her?”

  “No, I’m not falling for Susanna.” It was a bend of the truth. Casey had already fallen for her. “Look, Audrey. I’m here on your suggestion to help her out, make life a little easier for her. That’s my mission. And I’ve done that in every way I could figure. I had to get close to her to do it. I’ve almost got her convinced to partner with me on her shop. After that, I don’t know where else I can go from there.”

  Something crashed. It sounded like glass from behind him. Coming from his kitchen? He turned sharply. Oh, crap! Susie was standing in his doorway surrounded by splintered glass. A dish? There were pieces of, chicken and a mess of gravy all over the floor. Her face...ah, hell. Her face was twisted in shock, crimson flushing her cheeks. Her shoulders were rigid enough to hold up the house. Hatred, pain and despair blackened her eyes. In the background, he heard Ally whimpering.

  “Audrey, I’ll call you back.” Casey shut down the phone and flung it onto the sofa.

  “Stay there, Ally,” Susie said to the child, who was still in the kitchen out of his line of sight.

  She marched over to him and raised her arm. Flesh met flesh as she slapped his face. The sting burned his cheek and traveled down to his toes. Her eyes flared. “I’ll tell you where else you can go, Casey. Straight to hell.”

  “Susie, listen. It’s not what you think.” He reached for her.

  She wiggled away from his grasp. “Not another word. I have to get Ally home. She’s upset now.”

  Oh, God. Ally? Casey clamped his mouth shut. Ally didn’t need to hear this. She didn’t need to bear witness to the two of them fighting. And that’s what it would be, a horrible argument. Casey couldn’t really defend himself to her anyway. “Okay, okay. I’ll call you later.”

  Susie had already turned her back on him. “Don’t you dare.”

  Then she marched into his kitchen, stepping over broken glass, and slammed the back door behind her.

  Curses spattered from his mouth, but they wouldn’t help relieve or repair anything. Inside, a dull ache grew, a slow growing infestation that would spread and kill any joy he’d had in his heart. He could only imagine what Susie was thinking right now. What pain she was going through. The words she’d overheard hurt her terribly. But he couldn’t tell her what she needed to hear. He couldn’t say, I love you and then walk away from her. He couldn’t add to the hurt. He wasn’t the right man for Susie. He couldn’t give her the life she wanted.

  What had she been doing in his house anyway? Why had she used her key to come inside the back door? He spied a piece of paper stuck on the refrigerator door. Skirting the broken glass and food on his kitchen floor, he reached for it and lifted the lavender parchment from underneath a magnet. It read: Your favorite, because you’re my favorite...just in case you get hungry tonight.

  “Susie.” He rolled his shoulder around, allowing the refrigerator to hold him up. Bringing the note clo
se, he clutched it tight to his chest and clunked the back of his head against cool stainless steel. His eyes misted and a long winding snake of despair began to squeeze the breath from his lungs.

  Ten

  Susie held it together long enough to put Ally down to sleep. She’d managed to persuade the little sweetheart that everything was fine. Ally was sensitive. She picked up on things. A distressed tone of voice was enough to send her into a panic. Part of that came from being a child, but another part of that came from Ally’s wretched past. Lord knew, Susanna had been aware of all that before she’d taken Ally into her home.

  Her goal was to provide Ally with a stable life. One where she wouldn’t have to be afraid anymore. Susie had to be her rock. She couldn’t let the child see her fall apart. Seeing her drug-addicted mother’s decline on a daily basis had been enough.

  Susie tiptoed out of Ally’s bedroom. All evening, she’d thought a glass of wine would calm her trembling nerves, but she’d lost that desire along with everything else. Her heart bled now.

  After keeping a stiff upper lip for Ally, Susie was free to sink down on her own bed fully clothed and let the tears spill down her cheeks.

  Casey’s brutal words sliced her up inside. Her silent cries turned to sobs. She covered her mouth to keep the pathetic sound from reaching Ally’s ears. How could something as intangible as words gut her so perfectly? How could they instill such inconsolable sadness? Energy seeped from her every pore. She felt it leave her body until numbness took over. It was a luxury to let her emotions bleed this way. Tomorrow, for Ally’s sake, she would have to put on a brave face. Yet, one thing kept bothering her. One thing went unanswered.

  Why had Casey done it? Didn’t he know how devastated she’d be to learn the truth?

  Suddenly, she hinged up on the bed. She vowed he wouldn’t get away with hurting her a second time. The last time she’d been rebuked by him, she’d trotted away like a dog with its tail between its legs. She’d simply gone off and licked her wounds, never to forget.

  This time had to be different. She wouldn’t let him get away with destroying her, without hearing from her, without letting her defend herself. Without giving her the chance to ask why?