A Promise of Hope

by Amy Clipston

  He paused. Then he opened his mouth to speak and then paused again, his expression falling to a deep frown.

  “I see.” He stepped toward the door. “If you ever need someone to talk to, please let me know. I’m here whenever you need me.”

  “Danki.” She smiled.

  “Gut nacht.” He opened the door. “I’m glad you’re home safe.”

  She swallowed her guilt. “Gut nacht. Danki for checking on me.”

  He exited the room, gingerly closing the door behind him. Sarah collapsed on the bed. She cried herself to sleep, praying that she could find a way to forget her love for Luke and let go of her guilt for not loving Norman Zook, the one who loved her in return.

  Sarah lounged on her bed the following afternoon and skimmed her Bible while the twins slept.

  During breakfast this morning, Sarah had filled her parents in on her trip to Ohio, telling them the highlights of her conversation with DeLana. They listened with wide eyes when she explained how Peter had met and courted DeLana and detailed the events that led to their breakup.

  Sarah shared the photographs, and her parents gasped at the shots showing DeLana frolicking with Peter clad in English clothing. She did not share the conversations about Luke, but she did explain she and DeLana wanted to keep in touch for the sake of the children since they were family.

  Mamm and Dat were supportive, and elated to hear she had forgiven Peter. Sarah also noticed that her father seemed more attentive than usual. There was something in his eyes telling her he understood more than she knew.

  As she lay in bed reading from her Bible, she wondered exactly what Dat was trying to tell her with his wordless expressions.

  Sarah had considered telling Mamm and Dat about Norman’s proposal, but she couldn’t form the words. The guilt over turning him down still haunted her, and she couldn’t admit to them she’d told him no. Logically, she and Norman would make the perfect couple with their blended family.

  However, Sarah knew her heart belonged to Luke, a man who hated her after the way she’d treated him.

  Sarah was reading from the book of John and trying to ban Norman and Luke from her thoughts when a knock sounded on her door.

  “Come in,” she called.

  The door squeaked open, and Kathryn stuck her head in. “Hi. Can I come in?”

  “Ya.” Sarah sat up and patted the edge of the bed next to her. “Please.”

  “How are you?” Kathryn closed the door, crossed the room, and lowered herself onto the edge of the bed.

  “Gut. Tired. How are you?” Sarah closed the Bible and placed it on the end table.

  “Gut.” Kathryn touched Sarah’s hand. “I’m worried about you. Tell me how things went.”

  Sarah opened her heart and shared everything with Kathryn. With her eyes brimming with tears, she pulled out the photographs and explained all the stories about Peter’s past. She even shared the conversation she and DeLana had had while sitting outside the cabinet shop. She ended with telling Kathryn that she and DeLana would keep in touch so that the children could meet someday.

  Kathryn wiped her eyes and shook her head. “DeLana sounds like a gut person.”

  “She is.” Sarah cleared her throat. “I can see why Peter loved her.”

  “You love Luke, don’t you?” Kathryn took Sarah’s hands in hers.

  “Ya,” Sarah whispered, admitting it aloud for the first time. “I do. I can’t stop thinking about him. I miss him so much that my heart aches.”

  Kathryn gave a sad smile. “You need to call him and tell him.”

  “No.” Sarah shook her head. “I never could. It’s not right. We don’t belong together.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because he only wants to be with me for the sake of the zwillingbopplin. He doesn’t want to be with me because of his feelings for me.”

  Kathryn raised an eyebrow in disbelief. “How do you know that?”

  “He feels a responsibility to take care of his brother’s kinner. That’s the only reason he wanted to be here.”

  “That’s ridiculous.” Kathryn waved off the thought. “When I saw him with you, he was attentive to you. I don’t believe for a second he would only want to be with the zwillingbopplin.”

  Sarah shook her head. “We also argued the night before he left, and he said some nasty things. I’m convinced he hates me.”

  Kathryn scoffed. “Please. I don’t believe that man could ever hate you, Sarah Rose.”

  Sarah told Kathryn the details of the argument.

  “I think he said those things out of frustration.” Kathryn squeezed Sarah’s hands. “He was hurt and angry, but I don’t think he hates you.”

  “You didn’t see his eyes, Kathryn.” More tears spilled down her cheeks. “I’ve never seen him that angry.”

  “I’ve made David that angry before, and he still loves me.” Her sister frowned. “You should call Luke and give him another chance.”

  “There’s more,” Sarah said. “Last night Norman came up to see me after I got back. He asked me to marry him.”

  “What!” Kathryn gasped. “You’re kidding!”

  “Shh,” Sarah warned her. “If you wake the kinner our visiting will be over.”

  “Sorry.” Her sister giggled. “I’m stunned. I had no idea he was interested in you.”

  “I didn’t know either,” Sarah said, crossing her legs under herself. “I thought we were just friends.”

  “What did you say when he asked?”

  “I told him no. I said I cherish his friendship, but I could never be his wife. I think I broke his heart.” Sarah sighed. “I wonder if I made a mistake. Luke doesn’t love me, and I may spend my life alone. Maybe it makes sense for me to marry Norman since we both lost our spouses and have kinner who need two parents. It’s logical, really. We’re gut friends already. Maybe I could learn to love him.”

  “Ack, don’t say that.” Kathryn squeezed her hands. “You did the right thing. You shouldn’t marry the wrong person. Marriage is for life, and you should be happy, Sarah Rose. You’ve lost Peter. Don’t marry for the sake of having a husband. Marry for love.”

  “But Norman is so gut and kind. He’s a wunderbaar dat. He’ll love me and my zwillingbopplin for life.”

  “But do you love him?”

  Sarah shook her head.

  “There’s your answer.” Kathryn nodded. “You made the right choice by telling him no. You need to listen to your heart and not make a mistake you’ll regret the rest of your life. He’ll still be your friend. He’s a loyal man.”

  “But I don’t think God’s plan is for me to marry Luke.”

  “How do you know that?” Kathryn’s smile was smug. “What is your heart saying?”

  “I’m not sure.” Sarah brushed away a tear. “I’m so mixed up. All I know is that I can’t stop thinking about Luke, and it feels like a lost cause, a silly fantasy.”

  “Listen to your heart,” Kathryn said again. “Close your eyes, open your heart, and pray for hope. Then listen to what God tells you. You’ll get your answer, Sarah Rose. I promise the Lord will guide you to the right path.”

  Sarah pulled Kathryn into a hug. “I thank God for my wonderful family, especially you.”

  23

  Elizabeth rolled the finished whoopie pies in individual pieces of plastic wrap. She hummed her favorite hymn to herself while the swirl of Pennsylvania Dietsch from her daughters filled the bakery kitchen around her. She smiled to herself. This bakery had been her dream when she was a young wife. Sharing it with her daughters, granddaughters, and daughter-in-law was more than a dream come true—it was a gift from the Lord.

  “How’s Sarah?” Kathryn asked. She hoisted herself up onto a stool beside Elizabeth.

  “She seemed fine when I left this morning. Nancy and Katie were helping her with the zwillingbopplin.” Elizabeth stacked the wrapped whoopie pies in a basket in preparation for taking them out front to the counter. She then faced her daughter and wiped her hands o
n a rag. “I’m worried about her. I think something is bothering her. She’s been different ever since she got back from Ohio last month.” She frowned. “I think that English girl said or did something to her. I’m not happy.”

  Kathryn bit her bottom lip and averted her eyes.

  “What is it, Kathryn?” Elizabeth touched her shoulder. “You know something you’re not telling me.”

  Her oldest daughter frowned. “I’m sorry, but I can’t betray her confidence. I couldn’t bear it if she didn’t trust me.”

  “Please, Kathryn.” Elizabeth pleaded with her eyes. “Of course I have to know what’s wrong with my dochder.”

  Kathryn glanced around the kitchen.

  “No one can hear you,” Elizabeth said. “They’re all baking and chatting. They have no idea what we’re discussing over here.”

  “Sarah’s miserable.” Kathryn held Elizabeth’s hand as if to convince her. “Norman proposed to her, but she doesn’t love him. She feels horrible about telling him no, but it doesn’t feel right.”

  Elizabeth gasped. “Norman proposed?”

  “You can’t tell anyone, Mamm.” Kathryn’s eyes were serious.

  “When did he ask?”

  “The night she got home from Ohio. She was caught off guard.”

  Elizabeth shook her head. “I had no idea. I wish she’d told me.”

  “She feels horrible about it because he said he loved her, but she doesn’t love him.” Kathryn shook her head, frowning. “She feels like she broke his heart because it may seem logical for them to marry. She said he’s a gut friend.”

  “Why does she feel bad if she doesn’t love him? No one is forcing her to get married. She can stay with your dat and me for as long as she wants.”

  Kathryn gave a knowing smile. “That’s not it. She loves someone else.”

  “What did you say?” Elizabeth raised an eyebrow. “Who does she love?”

  Kathryn nodded. “She loves Luke.”

  Elizabeth tilted her head in surprise. “Are you sure?”

  Kathryn nodded again. “She’s miserable over it. She said she can’t stop thinking about him, and she feels horrible about the argument they had the night before he left.”

  Cupping a hand to her mouth, Elizabeth lowered herself onto a stool. “I feel wretched for not knowing this about my own dochder. How could I not know she’s been suffering?”

  “It’s not your fault, Mamm.” Kathryn placed a hand on her shoulder. “I’m just telling you so you can help her. She listens to you and looks up to you. I’m worried she’s going to sink into a deep black hole in her heart. She’s finally accepted Peter’s past, which is wunderbaar and healthy for her. She can move on with her life now, but she’s stuck because she thinks Luke hates her.”

  Elizabeth shook her head. “I hope I can help her.”

  “Just listen to her.” Kathryn put her hand on Elizabeth’s arm. “Please listen and really hear what she has to say.”

  Elizabeth nodded. She would do anything to help her youngest daughter find happiness again.

  Later that evening, Elizabeth found Sarah propped up in bed reading her Bible. Glancing up, Sarah smiled, and Elizabeth’s heart warmed with hope. Maybe Kathryn was wrong, and Sarah was okay.

  “Hi, Mamm.” Sarah set her Bible down. “How are things at the bakery?”

  “Gut.” Elizabeth lowered herself onto the edge of the bed, which creaked under her weight. “The question is how are you?” She patted Sarah’s hand.

  Sarah shrugged. “All right. Just tired.” She covered her mouth and yawned. Nodding in the direction of the nursery, she grinned. “They’ve been active today. They’re wearing me, Nancy, and Katie out. I’m thankful they’re sleeping now so I can spend some time with the Scriptures.”

  “I’m glad you had a gut day. The girls seem to like coming here to help you.”

  “We have a gut time together.” Sarah glanced toward the window with a faraway expression. She looked as if she were a million miles away.

  “What’s on your mind, Sarah Rose?” Elizabeth asked. “You seem to be preoccupied.”

  Blinking, her youngest daughter met her gaze. “How do you know what God wants for you? How do you know if you’re on the right path?”

  Elizabeth squeezed her hand. “You follow your heart and listen to what it tells you. Sarah Rose, what’s really bothering you? You’ve been different since you came home from Ohio.”

  Sarah hesitated.

  “Is something wrong?” Elizabeth searched her eyes, wondering if Kathryn’s assessment was correct. “Is there something you’re not telling me?”

  Sarah took a deep breath and then shook her head.

  Elizabeth studied her daughter’s eyes. Was she lying? Did she really love Luke?

  “Sarah Rose,” Elizabeth said, holding her hands. “You can talk to me. I’m here to listen. Kathryn told me today she’s worried about you too.”

  Sarah’s eyes flashed with something resembling fear and worry at the mention of Kathryn’s name.

  “If something is worrying you, you can tell me,” Elizabeth said. “If you don’t want to talk about it with me, then you can always open your heart to God. You know what I always say.”

  “Yes, Mamm.” Sarah’s voice croaked with emotion. “You always tell us your favorite verse, ‘Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.’”

  “That’s right.” Elizabeth smiled. “You can always pray about it.”

  Sarah wiped her eyes. “Danki. I’ll do that.”

  Elizabeth nodded, hoping Sarah would open up to her. However, Sarah settled against the pillows and didn’t speak. Elizabeth patted her daughter’s hands and stood. “You call me if you need anything.”

  “Danki, Mamm.” Sarah picked up her Bible from the end table and opened it.

  Elizabeth climbed into bed later that evening and watched Eli change into his nightclothes. She’d spent all evening worrying about Sarah and contemplating Kathryn’s words. She wondered if Kathryn had been telling the truth. If so, then why hadn’t Sarah confessed her feelings for Luke?

  “Sarah Rose was quiet during devotions,” Eli said, crawling into bed next to her.

  She wondered if he’d read her mind. “I’m worried about her,” Elizabeth blurted before she could stop the words.

  “She seems unhappy,” he said. “I’ve noticed it.” Angling himself onto his side, he fluffed the pillow before lying down facing the wall.

  “Kathryn has a theory.” Elizabeth snuggled under the quilt and rubbed his back.

  “Oh?”

  “She insists Sarah Rose is in love with Luke. Do you think that’s possible?”

  Moving onto his back, he faced her and nodded. “I watched a beautiful friendship bloom between her and Luke, and I tried to encourage him to stay.”

  “What?” She gasped. “He was courting Naomi King, but you encouraged him to pursue Sarah Rose?”

  “No, no, no.” He blew out a sigh. “Elizabeth, I never said that.” He reached over and patted her hands.

  “First of all,” he began, “Naomi King was trying desperately to court him, and he was just being nice. At first I thought there might be a romance. But I could see the frustration in his eyes every time Naomi showed up—uninvited, mind you—for lunch. And yes, when he came to me and said he wanted to go home, I encouraged him to stay. I told him I could see the love in his eyes for Sarah Rose. He didn’t confirm my theory, but he also didn’t deny it. He said Sarah Rose had made her choice by harboring her anger for not telling her he was Peter’s brother when he first came, and he felt he had to leave because she didn’t love him in return.”

  “Do you think they belong together?” she asked.

  “If that’s what God has planned for them, ya.”

  “Norman asked Sarah to marry him.”

  “He did?” In the dark Eli sounded surprised.

  “She turned him down. Kathryn thinks it’s because Sarah loves Luke.”

  “That could b
e,” Eli said.

  “I just want Sarah to be happy,” Elizabeth whispered. “I want to see her smile again. It seems like she hasn’t smiled since Luke left.”

  Eli’s breathing became deep and rhythmic, and she knew he’d fallen asleep. It was typical that he would nod off when she felt the urge to talk to him.

  Staring up at the ceiling through the darkness, she closed her eyes and considered what Eli had said. She agreed Sarah and Luke had formed a special friendship. She had thought it was merely the bond they’d shared through their love for Peter and the twins. Were they meant to be more than relatives?

  She blew out a sigh and then began to silently pray, asking God to guide Sarah’s heart to the right path.

  Pound Cake

  1 cup shortening

  1-1/4 cups sugar

  5 eggs

  2 cups flour

  1/4 tsp salt

  1/8 tsp nutmeg

  1 tsp vanilla

  Cream shortening and sugar together. Add eggs, beating well after each egg. Add flour, salt, and nutmeg. Add vanilla and beat thoroughly. Bake in greased loaf pan at 350 degrees for 50 minutes or until done.

  24

  Eli’s conversation with Elizabeth the night before rang through his head all morning as he tried to concentrate on running the front desk, answering the phone, and taking customer orders. When Jake offered to take over, he was happy for the break. He weaved through the shop and stepped out the door to the back lot hoping to clear his mind.

  Staring over the pasture, Eli contemplated his youngest child, wishing he could take away her pain. Losing Peter had been a blow to their family, but it was devastating to his sweet Sarah Rose. During Luke’s time with them, however, Eli had seen Sarah Rose’s genuine smile and heard her true laugh for the first time since Peter’s death.

  Eli leaned on the fence and considered how he could help Sarah Rose through this rough time. The girl had suffered enough after losing Peter. She deserved happiness.

  “Busy up front?” a voice behind him asked.