Herd to Love

by Christine Sterling

  Her heels tapped with every clap and she turned herself around on the board. When she had completed a circle, she paused and returned her hands in front of her.

  She nodded to Joseph who picked up the pace and started playing a tune with a beat perfect for the Flamenco. Espé grabbed her skirt, lifting it up so her ankles showed. Her feet went faster… heel, heel, ball, stomp. Stomp, stomp, stomp, ball, heel. She repeated the motion swirling her skirt around her ankles so her foot work could be seen.

  When she released her skirt and the slit up the side was prominently displayed, she thought she heard one of the widows gasp, coupled with the laughter of her sister brides.

  She was dancing too fast, twirling her arms, and moving her head to see who it was. The clapping began in earnest and Espé picked up her movements to match the quick tempo of the fiddle.

  As she swung her head back and forth, she felt the fabric rose come unpinned and fly across the room. She gave a laugh and lifted her arms to her side, twirling on the board. This is what freedom meant to her.

  She slowed down the dance, moving her body as if she were a snake. She rotated her hips and moved her arms up and down. When she had cooled off enough, she jumped, stomping both feet.

  She gave the crowd a smile. She knew her hair was falling out of its pins. The rose was long gone. Her tortoiseshell comb was barely holding on. She started slowly once more; stomping her feet against the board.

  As she built up tempo she started to spin. The faces were blurred as she circled around in small steps. Suddenly the music stopped. Espé lost her balance as she turned to look at the musicians. Joseph pointed towards the door with his bow.

  Espé turned and gave a gasp. There in the doorway was Austin Waterman standing next to Bill. It wasn’t the sad look on Austin’s face, nor the confused look on Bill’s that made her gasp.

  It was the glittering eyes of her Papá looking at her. He was furious. Mamá was right behind him with her fingers pressed to her lips. Coletta peeked over her Mamá’s shoulder.

  “Papá!” she cried, taking a step forward. She saw her father being pushed to the side as Visconde Garcia strode into the room and stood before Espé. She lifted her fingers to her lips to stifle a scream and then everything went black.

  Chapter 9

  “She’s waking up.”

  Espé wasn’t sure who made the initial observation, but she recognized the murmurs of her sister brides, even though she couldn’t place which voice belonged to whom.

  “Can I get her anything?” That voice belonged to Beans. She knew underneath that gruff exterior there was a soft heart. The next voice was very familiar – Mamá. A small tear leaked from Espé’s eye as she heard her mother’s voice.

  “Let’s make her some tea and a bite to eat.” Her mother’s voice faded away as did the familiar sound of her footsteps.

  “Shoo, ladies, I must speak with Miss Martinez immediately.” That voice belonged to Mrs. Grant. “Miss Violet, you should stay.” Espé heard the door close and Mrs. Grant’s heavy footsteps walking toward where she was laying down. Someone sat on the side of the bed and patted Espé’s hand. “Well, my dear, you can stop play-acting now. Everyone is out of the room, but you, me and Violet.”

  “How did you know?” Espé felt ashamed. She had lied to Violet and wouldn’t blame her friend if she was angry. But Violet sat there with a smile on her face. Espé couldn’t tell what she was thinking.

  “Oh, please!” Mrs. Grant waved her hands towards Espé. “You talk as if I was always an old lady! I couldn’t even count the times I pretended to faint. It needs to be played perfectly or they will never let you get away with it again.” She gave Espé a knowing look. “What’s going on?”

  Violet reached out and took Espé’s hand. “Your father says that you are betrothed to that man who came with him. I understand he is some wealthy count from Spain.”

  “Si. El Visconde.”

  “Why don’t you tell us your side of the story?” Violet urged.

  “My father was running out of money and sold me to the Visconde.”

  Violet gasped. “He sold you, how terrible.”

  Espé nodded. “I was supposed to be married to him and on my way to España to live. Can you imagine? He has daughters my age!” She looked at the older woman sitting on the bed. “Widow Grant, you could marry him!”

  “Your Mamá said that he wanted a young bride. He wanted sons.” Espé gave a shudder. “What happened to his first wife?”

  “I don’t know,” Espé said. “I imagine she died.” Espé looked around the room. “How did I get in here?” She was laying on a settee in an office. The walls were covered in framed letters.

  “Pastor Gregory carried you in here.” Violet gave a sigh. “You should have seen him. It was so romantic.”

  “Really, Violet?” Mrs. Grant asked.

  “Well it was,” Violet insisted. “He stood between Espé and that ogre.”

  “He did?”

  Violet nodded. “When you did your fainting thing—“

  “I didn’t do a ‘fainting thing’. I really did black out. I have the bump on my head to prove it.” Espé wished the ladies would just get to the point.

  “When you fainted, I don’t think I’ve ever seen Pastor Gregory move so fast. He stood over you, daring that Visconde to try anything.”

  “It was a heated exchange,” Violet said. “I think my ears will be burning for days. He ordered everyone to leave and then he carried you in here. He wouldn’t let anyone touch you but him.” Violet sighed again.

  Espé felt it when Bill lifted her up. He carried her like she weighed absolutely nothing. His arms felt strong around her. She was able to breathe in the scent of him and she felt … safe. I’d faint every day if I could count on Bill being there to pick me up and sweep me away to safety, she thought.

  “It appears you have a choice to make, Espéranza,” Mrs. Grant said. “You can either go home with that man. Go home with your parents, or stay here with Austin or the pastor.”

  Espé laughed. “Well Austin is definitely out. He is in love with Maya.” It was plainly obvious when he came barging into the church. “I have no intention of marrying that man.”

  “That leaves two choices, my dear. Choose wisely.”

  The door opened and Espé saw her Mamá pop her head it. “Your Papá and I wanted to visit with you.”

  “Come in, come in,” Mrs. Grant beckoned.

  Espé grabbed Violet’s hand. “You aren’t mad at me, are you?”

  “Of course not,” Violet said. “You did what you had to do.”

  “Mr. Chance won’t be mad either?”

  Violet gave a little laugh. “Don’t you worry about him.”

  Violet and Mrs. Grant left the room as her parents came in. Maria handed Espé a cup of tea. She sat on a chair next to the settee and her father paced the floor. The sound of his heeled boots thumped against the wood.

  “Why, Espéranza?” her father finally asked.

  “Hush, Filipe. We should be grateful that we found our daughter.”

  “How did you find me?” Espé asked.

  “Visconde Garcia paid Luis’s cousins to find you. We knew you purchased a ticket to Oregon, but you would have to stop or change trains along the route. Carlos just happened to see you in Chicago. He followed you and sent a telegram back to Luis.”

  “If he knew I arrived here, why didn’t he drag me home?”

  Maria looked at her husband. “Because your Papá forbid it. He wanted to come out here and find you.”

  “Is that true, Papá?” Espé asked.

  Filipe nodded. “We were so worried when you were gone. I went out of my mind with madness. I just had to make sure you didn’t run again.”

  “I’m sorry, Papá. I told you I didn’t want to marry him.”

  “But he can provide for you, Espé.”

  “He said you had lost all your money.”

  Filipe shook his head. “No. We have plenty. We live t
o dance. We don’t need much money for that. But the money will be your dowry.”

  A knock sounded on the door. Filipe went and opened the door. “May I come in and speak to Espé?”

  “And who are you?”

  “I’m the man she was supposed to be matched with when she arrived.”

  Filipe turned and looked at his daughter. “You were going to marry this man?” He waved his arm up and down.

  “Hey now,” Austin said. “There is no need to be rude. I just want to speak to your daughter for a moment.”

  Filipe stepped to the side and let the man in. Austin walked over to the settee. Espé sat up. “I wanted to come and thank you for what you did for Maya. You are a very good friend to her. I think she’s going to need that in the future.”

  “Have you seen her?” Espé asked.

  Austin shook his head. “She won’t let me visit. Mrs. Grant has blocked me from seeing her as well.”

  “Did you find whomever you were looking for?”

  “No. I will never give up though. The thought of her being beaten at the hands of her brother, makes me sick. I blame myself. He worked for me and I was so blind I didn’t see it.”

  “I hope you get justice for her.”

  “I also wanted to say I was sorry for the way I treated you. I had paid Miss Viola to create a very specific match for me. When I arrived and Chance paired me with you, I was… well, needless to say… I was less than a gentleman. You probably won’t believe me if I say that I’m not normally like that.”

  “I believe you,” Espé said.

  Austin looked at her parents and shifted from one boot to another. “Well, that is all I wanted to say.”

  He turned to leave. Espé called him back. “Fight for her, Austin. Don’t ever give up on her. She’s going to need you more than both of you know.” Austin gave her a short nod.

  Another knock came on the door. “May I come in?” Bill asked, opening the door a crack.

  “Si,” Maria said, beckoning him to come in.

  “I’m just leaving,” Austin bent over to give Espé’s hand a squeeze. “Thank you,” he said before he left the room. On his way out he gave Bill a clap on the shoulder and pulled the door closed behind him.

  “Are you feeling better?” Bill asked, looking at Espé.

  Espé nodded. She couldn’t speak and instead took in every inch of Bill so she could remember when she headed back home. The thought of never seeing him again was more than she could bear.

  Finally, she found her voice. “Thank you. I understand you rescued me.”

  “It wasn’t much of a rescue. I just didn’t want that man to hurt you.”

  “Is he still here?” Espé’s eyes darted around the room as if she expected the Visconde to reappear at any moment.

  Bill pointed over his shoulder. “He’s in the sitting room. But I don’t think you’ll need to worry about him.”

  “Oh?” Maria asked. “Did something happen?”

  “No ma’am. He was being consoled by that young lady you brought with you. I think he’ll be just fine.” Bill turned his eyes to Espé. “Why didn’t you say something about being engaged?”

  Espé looked to her parents. “I didn’t want to marry him. I didn’t see any way out other than running away.”

  Maria grabbed her daughter’s hand. “We only want the best for you. We knew he could give a life that we only dreamed of.”

  “But I was happy with my life.”

  “Espéranza, you can’t be a dancer all your life?”

  “Why not?”

  “What happens when you get older? When your feet hurt and your hip creaks because of the constant pressure?”

  Espé looked at her parents. “Is that what’s happening with you?”

  “We are getting older, Espé. We just want to make sure that you marry well.”

  “What does that mean?” Bill interrupted. “Marry well?”

  “Espé must marry well,” Filipe repeated. “She just lost her opportunity to marry el Visconde. He is a very rich man. Now she needs to find another rich man.”

  “Money isn’t everything,” Bill replied.

  Filipe laughed. It sounded like he barked. “It provides protection, necessities, land.” He opened his arms wide.

  “What about love?”

  “Espé will fall in love with her husband. It may take a while, but it will happen.”

  Bill shook his head. “Doesn’t she have the right to choose?”

  “No. It is up to me, her Papá, to choose for her.” Filipe pounded his fist against his chest.

  Bill turned to Espé. “What do you think? Are you going to just let your father decide for you?”

  Espé looked from her parents to Bill. “What do you want me to do?” she asked. Her heart was starting to break.

  She knew she didn’t love the Visconde. She ran away so she wouldn’t have marry him. But the feelings she had for Bill… they were so different.

  Before she could respond, Bill continued. “I know I’m not the easiest man to love. I have quite a few faults and I don’t trust easily. I’ve been hurt. I don’t want you to be hurting either, Espé.”

  “No. No more,” Filipe demand. “Espé, we will leave on the next train.” He grabbed Espé by the shoulders and led her from the room. She managed to glance over her shoulder and see her mother say something to Bill as he watched them depart. When his eyes met hers, he looked as though his heart had been torn out of his chest. Why did she feel the same?

  He hadn’t seen her in three days. He knew she was still in town as Chance stopped by to see him. She was staying in town at the hotel with her parents. “She looks miserable,” Chance said.

  Bill didn’t want to hear what his friend had to say. He recalled the words Maria said to him as they walked out. “Do not make it easy on her. The harder she fights, the more she loves.”

  Bill guessed she didn’t love him, because she didn’t put up much of a fight.

  He was standing in the back of the sanctuary listening to the widows talk about the upcoming weddings. Mrs. Grant was falling asleep in the pew. Bill gave a little smile.

  His life was very simple, but it had been turned upside down over the past few days since Espé’s family arrived. He didn’t know how it would ever be the same.

  Espé’s Papá did everything he could to keep them apart. Her Mamá simply shrugged her shoulders as if to say that she had no say. Espé didn’t say anything at all.

  He heard her footsteps as she entered the nave and walked towards the sanctuary. It was a sound he would never forget. He didn’t turn around. Instead, he stood in the doorway listening to the widows.

  “I’m returning to Florida with my family,” Espé announced. Bill turned and noticed her bags were packed and her parents stood in the doorway with her luggage.

  “Why?” he said, his voice croaking on the simple word.

  “I need to go home. The theater needs me.”

  “The theater?” Espé nodded. “What about here? Isn’t Bent your home?”

  “Bill.” Espé looked at him, tears starting to fill her brown eyes. “I am so sorry for everything that happened.”

  “What happened, Espé? Because where I sit you ran away once, and now you are running away again.”

  Espé took a deep breath. “I regret my decisions and I am so sorry that I pulled you into this.” Bill remained silent. Espé looked at her hands.

  “That sounds rehearsed. Tell me what you really think.”

  “I think I need to go back to Florida. My family is there.”

  “Why can’t your family be here?” He swept his hand around the church.”

  “What will people think? I lied to the community, saying I was one of Miss Viola’s brides when I wasn’t. I lied to my parents. I ran away from home.”

  “Who cares what people, think, Espéranza.” Bill grabbed her shoulders and turned her to face him. “I don’t.”

  “I’m sorry things are difficult. I wish they were
n’t.”

  “Things do not need to be difficult, Espé,” Bill said, shoving his fingers through his hair. “Do you really want to leave?” Espé didn’t answer. Bill could see it on her face, but he wanted to hear the words. “I don’t know why you are making excuses like this. I thought you were a fighter. You dance like a bull. The bull is a great fighter. It stomps it feet. It snorts. It circles the matador. The bull fights for survival. Now you are just giving up.” Bill turned and looked back inside the sanctuary. “I expected more from you.”

  Espé reached out and touched Bill’s arm. “I’m not giving up. You even said yourself that you never wanted to get married. That you thought yourself hard to love.” Espé stamped her foot and snorted. “Believe me I know. My father tells me that all the time.” She gave a little sniffle. “Besides you have your congregation, and this wonderful community.”

  “I don’t make much money, Espé. In fact, I don’t have much to my name at all. But I have a name. I have a heart. And I will love you, protect you and care for you as long as you let me.”

  “It isn’t about the money. It never was. I don’t care about how much money you do or don’t have.” Espé turned to leave.

  “Don’t go,” he whispered. She turned and looked at him. “You are making it very hard for me to love you right now. I don’t want to risk my heart breaking again. Don’t leave, Espé. I do love you.”

  Espé looked at him with shock. She must have realized what he said because her face turned hopeful and a smile appeared on her lips.

  “You love me?” Espé squeaked.

  “Of course, I do. I may not show it in flamboyant ways…” he waved his hand towards Filipe and Maria who were holding each other at the door.

  “Like my parents,” Espé finished for him.

  “Yes,” Bill smiled. “Like your parents. But I love you just as much as your Papá loves your Mamá.”

  Espé squealed and jumped into Bill’s arms. She cupped his face in her hands and peppered it with kisses. “I love you too, Bill.”