Brian Friel Plays 1

by Brian Friel

  SKINNER: No.

  LILY: That’s what the chairman said when I – you know – when I tried to tell him what I was thinking. He never talks about him; can’t even look at him. And that day that’s what he said, ‘You’re a bone stupid bitch. No wonder the kid’s bone stupid, too,’ The chairman – that’s what he said.

  (She stops abruptly, as if she had been interrupted. SKINNER goes to her and puts his glass into her had.)

  LILY: O merciful God.

  (PRIEST appears on the battlements.)

  PRIEST: At eleven o’clock tomorrow morning solemn requiem Mass will be celebrated in this church for the repose of the souls of the three people whose death has plunged this parish into a deep and numbing grief. As you are probably aware I had the privilege of administering the last rites to them and the knowledge that they didn’t go unfortified to their Maker is a consolation to all of us. And it is natural that we should mourn. But it is also right and fitting that this tragic happening should make us sit back and take stock and ask ourselves the very pertinent question: why did they die? That there are certain imperfections in our society, this I do not deny. Nor do I deny that opportunities for gainful employment, for decent housing, for effective voting were in certain instances less than equal. And because of these imperfections, honest men and women, decent men and women came together and formed the nucleus of a peaceful, dignified movement that commanded the respect not only of this city and this country but the respect of the world. But although this movement was initially peaceful and dignified, as you are well aware certain evil elements attached themselves to it and contaminated it and ultimately poisoned it, with the result that it has long ago become an instrument for corruption.

  Who are they, these evil people? I will speak and I will speak plainly. They have many titles and they have many banners, but they have one purpose and one purpose only – to deliver this Christian country into the dark dungeons of Godless communism. I don’t suggest for one minute that the three people who died yesterday were part of this conspiracy, were even aware that they were victims of this conspiracy. But victims they were. And to those of you who are flirting with the doctrines of revolution, let me quote to you from that most revolutionary of doctrines – the sermon on the mount: ‘Blessed are the meek for they shall possess the land.’

  In the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.

  (The PRIEST disappears as MICHAEL bustles in from the dressing-room.)

  MICHAEL: Okay – are we all set?

  SKINNER: How are the nerves now?

  MICHAEL: You’re not going out in that (hat)?

  SKINNER: Why not?

  MICHAEL: Put that hat away.

  SKINNER: Would it lead to a breach of the peace?

  MICHAEL: Put it back where it belongs, Skinner.

  SKINNER: I’m keeping it. I think it’s … sympathetic.

  (He adjusts the angle.) How about that, Lily?

  (He begins to sing; grabs LILY round the waist and turns her round a few times.)

  SKINNER: Where did you get that hat, where did you get that tile? Isn’t it a nobby one and just the proper style?

  I should like to have one just the same as that …

  LILY: Oooooops!

  SKINNER: Where’er 1 go they shout ‘Hello! Where did you get that hat?’

  LILY: You’ll have me as silly as yourself, Skinner.

  SKINNER: Last round before closing. Come on, gentlemen, please. Last call – last call. What’s your pleasure, Mr Hegarty?

  LILY: D’you see our Tom? He found an aul saucepan on the railway lines one day last summer and put it on his head for a laugh – just like that (SKINNER). And didn’t his head swell up with the heat and as God’s my judge he was stuck in it for two days and two nights and had to sleep with the handle down a rat-hole in the floor!

  MICHAEL: The thing to remember is that we took part in a peaceful demonstration and if they’re going to charge us, they’ll have to charge six thousand others.

  SKINNER: Small Scotch?

  MICHAEL: Nothing. Now, if they want to be officious, supposing they take our names and addresses, that’s all they’re entitled to ask for and that’s all you’re expected to give them. That’s the law.

  SKINNER: (Toasts) The law. Personally speaking I’m a great man for the law myself, you know, like, there’s nothing like the law.

  MICHAEL: Okay, Lily? And if they try to get you to make a statement, you just say you’re making no statement unless your solicitor’s present.

  SKINNER: My solicitor’s in Bermuda. Who’s yours, Lily?

  LILY: Don’t mention them fellas to me. They all have the wan story; you’ve a great case – you can’t be beat. And then when you’re in jail they won’t let you rest till you appeal.

  SKINNER: Were you ever in jail, Lily?

  LILY: No. Were you?

  SKINNER: Not yet.

  MICHAEL: Will You listen to me!

  LILY: What is it, young fella?

  MICHAEL: Give them no cheek and they’ll give you no trouble. We made a peaceful protest and they know that. They’re not interested in people like us. It’s the troublemakers they’re after.

  SKINNER: They think we’re armed.

  MICHAEL: They know damned well we’re not armed.

  SKINNER: Why is the place surrounded by tanks and armoured cars?

  MICHAEL: Are you ready, Missus?

  SKINNER: And why are the walls lined with soldiers and police?

  MICHAEL: We’ll do exactly as they ask. We’ve nothing to hide. I’ll go first.

  (LILY drains her glass.)

  LILY: D’you see that sherry? I’d get very partial to that stuff.

  SKINNER: It’s brandy.

  MICHAEL: And if they ask you a straight question, give them a straight answer, and I promise you there’ll be no trouble.

  LILY: I still think them windows’d be nicer in plain glass,

  MICHAEL: These (robes) were inside, weren’t they?

  (He takes them into the dressing-room. LILY moves across the room and suddenly grabs the back of a chair.)

  LILY: I drunk that glass far too quick. God, I come in reeling and now I’m going out reeling. D’you think would the equilibrium of my inner ear be inflamed?

  (MICHAEL returns.)

  MICHAEL: Are we ready?

  LILY: What time is it, young fella?

  MICHAEL: Just after five.

  LILY: That’s grand.

  MICHAEL: (To SKINNER) Okay?

  LILY: I’ll be back in time to make the tea.

  MICHAEL: We’re going, Skinner.

  (SKINNER slowly crosses to the Mayor’s seat, sits in it, and spreads himself.)

  SKINNER: I like it here. I think I’ll stay.

  MICHAEL: For Christ’s sake!

  SKINNER: You go ahead.

  MICHAEL: We’re all going out together.

  SKINNER: Why?

  MICHAEL: Because they’ll think it’s some son of a trick if we split up.

  SKINNER: Not if you look them clean in the eye and give them straight, honest answers.

  MICHAEL: Skinner, are you coming?

  (Pause. Then SKINNER suddenly flings open the drawer in the table, pulls out a pile of papers, scatters them around the table. Talking very rapidly all the time.)

  SKINNER: Yes – I’m coming – after we’ve had a meeting of the corporation – then I’ll go. But we can’t spend the afternoon drinking civic booze and smoking civic fags and then walk off without attending to pressing civic business – no, no, no, no. That wouldn’t be fair. So. Right. Have we a quorum? We have. Councillor – alderman – how are you? Take a seat. We have a short agenda today, if I remember correctly.

  (LILY sits.)

  LILY: (Apologetically to MICHAEL) God, I need a seat, young fella. Just for five minutes. Till my head settles.

  (SKINNER continues at great speed.)

  SKINNER: You have before you an account of last week’s meeting. I take it to be an accurate account of the proc
eedings. So may I sign it? Thank you. Thank you. And now to today’s agenda. Item 1. Request for annual subscription for the Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals – I suggest we increase our sub to a hundred pounds. Agreed? Agreed, Item 2. Derry and District Floral Society want the use of the main hall for yearly floral display. Granted. Item 3. Tenders for painting all municipal buildings in the city – in pink gloss? – why not? Tenders accepted.

  LILY: Pink gloss! Haaaa – that’s me!

  SKINNER: Item 4. Invitation to us all to attend the first night of the Amateur Opera Society’s season and buffet supper afterwards. Of course we will. Love to. Item 5. Municipal grant sought by Derry Rugby Club to purchase extra acre of land adjacent to their present pitch. All in favour? Good. Grant granted. Unanimous. Fine. Item 6 –

  MICHAEL: Are you coming or are you not?

  SKINNER: Expenses incurred by elected representatives on our recent trip to Calcutta to study arterial developments. I think we all benefited from that visit, didn’t we?

  MICHAEL: You!

  SKINNER: So I propose those expenses be passed. Seconded? Good. Good. Item 7 –

  MICHAEL: When you’re finished mouthing there!

  SKINNER: What’s wrong, Mr Hegarty? Aren’t you interested? As one of the city’s nine thousand unemployed isn’t it in your interest that your idleness is pursued in an environment as pleasant as possible with pets and flowers and music and gaily painted buildings? What more can you want, Mr Hegarty?

  MICHAEL: Nothing that you would want, Skinner. I can tell you that.

  SKINNER: No doubt, Mr Hegarty. But now’s your opportunity to speak up, to introduce sweeping legislation, to change the face of the world. Come on, Mr Hegarty. The voice of the fourteen per cent unemployed. Speak up, man, speak up. You may never have a chance like this again.

  LILY: I want the chairman to go before me.

  SKINNER: In a moment, Lily. Lord Michael has the floor. Well sir?

  (MICHAEL is very angry but controls himself and speaks precisely.)

  MICHAEL: What I want, Skinner, what the vast majority of the people out there want, is something that a bum like you wouldn’t understand: a decent job, a decent place to live, a decent town to bring up our children in – that’s what we want.

  LILY: Good man, young fella.

  SKINNER: Go on – go on.

  MICHAEL: And we want fair play, too, so that no matter what our religion is, no matter what our politics is, we have the same chances and the same opportunities as the next fella. It’s not very much, Skinner, and we’ll get it, believe me, we’ll get it, because it’s something every man’s entitled to and nothing can stop us getting what we’re entitled to.

  LILY: Hear-hear.

  MICHAEL: And now, Skinner, you tell us what you want. You’re part of the fourteen per cent too. What do you want?

  (The BRIGADIER enters right as before. Guarded by three SOLDIERS. Speaks through the loudhailer.)

  BRIGADIER: Attention, please! Attention!

  LILY: Whist! Listen!

  BRIGADIER: This is Brigadier Johnson-Hansbury. I will give you five minutes more to come out. Repeat – five minutes. You will lay down your arms immediately and proceed to the front entrance with your hands above your head. The Guildhall is completely surrounded. I advise you to attempt nothing foolhardy. This is your last warning. I will wait five more minutes, commencing now.

  (He goes off. SKINNER lifts the ceremonial sword, looks for a second at MICHAEL, goes to the portrait and sticks the sword into it. Turns round and smiles at MICHAEL.)

  SKINNER: It’s only a picture. And a ceremonial sword.

  (The JUDGE appears on the battlements; PROFESSOR CUPPLEY enters left.)

  JUDGE: Professor Cuppley, you carried out post-mortem examinations on the three deceased.

  CUPPLEY: Yes, my lord.

  JUDGE: And your report states that all three were killed by SLR rifle-fire.

  CUPPLEY: Yes, my lord.

  JUDGE: Could you tell us something about this type of weapon?

  CUPPLEY: It’s a high-velocity rifle, using 7.62 mm ammunition; and from my point of view it’s particularly untidy to work with because, if the victim has been hit several times in close proximity it’s very difficult to identify the individual injuries.

  JUDGE: Could you elaborate on that?

  CUPPLEY: Well, the 7.62 is a high-velocity bullet which makes a small, clean entry into the body. There’s no difficulty there. But once it’s inside the body, its effect is similar to a tiny explosion in that it shatters the bone and flesh tissue. And then, as it passes out of the body – at the point of exit – it makes a gaping wound and as it exits it brings particles of bone and tissue with it which make the wound even bigger.

  JUDGE: I see. And your report states that the deceased died from a total of thirty-four wounds?

  CUPPLEY: Forgive me correcting you, my lord, but what I said was – the second paragraph on page two – I think I pointed out that thirty-four was an approximation.

  JUDGE: I See that.

  CUPPLEY: Because, as I say, with the SLR it’s very difficult to identify individual injuries if they’re close together. But in the case of Fitzgerald there were eight distinct bullet wounds; in the case of the woman Doherty – thirteen; and in the case of Hegarty – twelve, thirteen, fourteen; I couldn’t be sure.

  JUDGE: I understand.

  CUPPLEY: Fitzgerald’s wounds were in the legs, lower abdomen, the chest and hands. Doherty’s were evenly distributed over the whole body – head, back, chest, abdomen and legs. Hegarty was struck in the legs and arms – two wounds in the left leg, one in each arm; but the majority of the injuries were in the head and neck and shoulders, and the serious mutilation in such a concentrated area made precise identification almost … guesswork.

  JUDGE: I think we have a reasonably clear picture, Professor Cuppley. Thank you.

  CUPPLEY: Thank you.

  (The JUDGE disappears. CUPPLEY goes off left. DODDS walks on.)

  DODDS: All over the world the gulf between the rich and the poor is widening; and to give that statement some definition let me present you with two statistics. In Latin America one per cent of the population owns seventy-two per cent of the land and the vast majority of the farm-labourers receive no wages at all but are paid in kind. And in my own country of ‘magnificent affluence’, the richest country in the history of civilization, twenty per cent of the population live in extreme poverty.

  So the question arises: what of the future? What solutions are the economists and politicians cooking up? Well, the answer to that is that there are about as many solutions as there are theorists, ranging from the theory that the poor are responsible for their own condition and should pull themselves up by their own shoe-strings to the theory that the entire free enterprise system should be totally restructured so that all have equal share of the cake whether they help to bake it or not.

  And until these differences are resolved, nothing significant is being done for the poor. New alignments of world powers don’t affect them. Changes of government don’t affect them. They go on as before. They become more numerous. They become more and more estranged from the dominant society. Their position becomes more and more insecure. They have, in fact, no future. They have only today. And if they fail to cope with today, the only certainty they have is death.

  (The three begin tidying up in silence. SKINNER puts on his shoes. LILY puts the flowers back into the vase and the glasses back into the cabinet. MICHAEL arranges the things on the desk (the papers, etc.) and attempts to rub off the cigar-burn on the leather. All the exuberance is gone. They move about as if they were deep in contemplation. MICHAEL goes to the portrait and catches the sword.)

  SKINNER: Don’t touch that!

  (MICHAEL looks at him, surprised at his intensity; then shrugs and turns away. SKINNER smiles.)

  SKINNER: Allow me my gesture.

  (The chairs are back in place; the room is as it was when they first entered.)<
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  MICHAEL: That’s everything. I’m going now.

  LILY: We’re all going, young fella.

  (LILY looks around.)

  LILY: I never seen a place I went off as quick.

  MICHAEL: It looks right again.

  LILY: You can have it.

  SKINNER: The Distinguished Visitors’ Book! We haven’t signed it yet! Come on, Lily!

  LILY: Will we?

  (SKINNER opens the book.)

  SKINNER: Of course we will. Aren’t you as distinguished as (Reads) Admiral Howard Ericson, United States Navy?

  LILY: Never heard of him. Give us the pen. What do I write?

  SKINNER: Just your name. There.

  LILY: Get out of my road. I need space to write. ‘Elizabeth M. Doherty’.

  SKINNER: What’s the ‘M’ for?

  LILY: Marigold. What do I put down over here?

  SKINNER: Where?

  LILY: There. That Sunday we went to Bundoran we all signed the visitors’ book in the hotel we got our tea in and we all writ – you know – remarks and things, about the food and the nice friendly waiters and all. For the food, honest to God, Skinner, it was the nicest I ever eat. I mind I writ ’God bless the cook.’ Wasn’t that good?

  MICHAEL: Lily.

  LILY: And d’you see all them people that was staying there? We got terrible friendly with them and we all exchanged addresses and all. And then after me boasting to the chairman about all the letters I was going to get – not as much as a Christmas card from one of them! People let you down.

  MICHAEL: Lily.

  LILY: Coming, young fella, coming. (To SKINNER) You’re smart. Tell me what I’ll put down there. You know – something grand.

  SKINNER: ‘Atmosphere Victorian but cellar excellent.’