The Trouble With Love

by Beth Ciotta

  “Not really.”

  “Did you tell her you’re moving home?”

  Jayce glanced at Rocky, who’d stopped pacing but was now glaring at him and chewing her thumbnail. “Not yet.”

  “Maybe you should hold off,” Dev said. “Considering her less than stellar attitude toward you, I’d hate to see you alienate her more when I need you to stick close.”

  “Taking her on a whirlwind tour of Manhattan,” Jayce said, throwing a placating smile Rocky’s way.

  “Unobtrusive way of sticking close,” Dev said. “Smart.”

  “That’s why they pay me the big bucks.”

  “But you won’t take my money.”

  “Finally getting that, are you?”

  Dev grunted. “Put Rocky on.”

  Jayce passed back the phone.

  “Happy now?” Rocky asked Dev while frowning at Jayce. “I have a babysitter. Does this mean I don’t have to check in with you again tonight?… Thank God.… Tomorrow? I don’t know my precise plans yet. A tour of some local bakeries was mentioned, but— Yeah. Okay. Sure.” She rolled her pretty blue eyes. “Shouldn’t you be helping Gram and Chloe prepare for the café’s opening?… Uh-huh. Give them my love.… Right. Stick close to Jayce. Got it.” Another eye roll. “Pinky swear. Love you, too.”

  She pocketed her phone and fussed with the buttons of her peacoat. “Yeah. That wasn’t too painful.”

  “Dev means well.”

  “You don’t have to tell me. I know my brother’s heart. I just don’t like being bossed.”

  “You don’t have to tell me.” Jayce flashed back on when he’d tried to stop Rocky from rushing into her collapsing sports shed. She’d punched him in the damned jaw. “Had enough of the park?”

  “Ready for my whirlwind tour if that’s what you’re asking.” Rocky looked over his shoulder at the towering skyscrapers, then to a nearby family playing catch with their dog on a patch of grass. She touched her bandaged forehead, frowned. “Like Gram says, life’s short.”

  That statement resonated with Jayce more than Rocky could possibly know. His mood inched toward somber, prodded by fresh and ancient memories. Yeah, life was short, but it was also what you made it. He’d been spinning his wheels for far too long, looking for validation and contentment in all the wrong places. With that in mind, he looked hard at the beautiful woman who’d seduced him, then tortured him with rejection and disdain for more than a decade.

  He’d managed their irrational feud until this last visit to Sugar Creek. Until he’d gotten an up-close-and-personal dose of the adult Rocky for a full week. He’d thought he’d put their relationship, or lack thereof, in perspective, but then he’d learned she had a fuck buddy and his world as he’d created it imploded. Jealously and envy ate at his gut. Regret, lust, and genuine affection screwed with his head. He’d been set to leave Sugar Creek forever—turning his back on everything he loved … and hated. Then Rocky had come running with the news that she’d broken up with Brody, followed by some half-assed attempt to put her past with Jayce to rest. Instead, she had challenged Jayce’s priorities and ignited his fighting spirit. That good-bye kiss had cinched his suspicion: Rocky still burned for him. And, God help him, he burned for her.

  Tend to your soul.

  All roads to validation and contentment led to Sugar Creek.

  “About the tour,” Jayce said, steering Rocky back toward Fifth Avenue. “This is my city. My comfort zone. For the rest of the day and night, I’m in control.”

  Rocky sucker punched him with a look that gave him an instant erection. “Dream on, Bello.”

  “I could drop you back at your hotel, alert Dev you refused my company. He’ll either wire you some money or get Nash to fly him—”

  “All right, all right. You call the shots, but just until midnight, Cinderfella. After that I turn back into a pumpkin with a mind of my own.”

  “Your gratitude is overwhelming. So what’s first? Empire State Building? Statue of Liberty?” He quirked a sardonic smile. “Why am I asking you? I’m in charge.”

  She pursed those lush lips. “I never realized you were so irritating. Oh, wait, yes I did.”

  Jayce laughed at that. “Wait’ll you get to know me better.”

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  Growing up with an old-fashioned dad, two older brothers, and a slew of protective male cousins, Rocky had learned early on to speak up and speak out. Otherwise she would have been treated like a delicate, helpless girl. She was not delicate, nor was she helpless. She was outgoing and athletic, like her brothers. Strong-minded like Dev and sociable like Luke. She had dreams and goals and a strong desire to make her own way.

  Whatever it took.

  Sometimes it meant invoking a hard, confident stance, brazening her way through an argument. Sometimes it entailed a covert approach, batting her baby blues, playing the vulnerable or coy card. She wasn’t fond of the latter, but she wasn’t above it either. That approach always worked with her dad. The only man who had ever left her completely clueless and flustered was Jayce.

  Five years her senior, Jayce had been around as long as Rocky could remember. Dev’s best bud, thick as mud. He spent so much time at their house he was practically a member of the family. He’d even joined the Monroes on a couple of vacations and almost always shown for picnics and parties. Things had been spiffy and okay, and then Rocky had started feeling all wobbly kneed every time Jayce was around and that hadn’t been okay. That had been weird. She’d been ten at the time. Over the years things went from weird to worse. By thirteen she was so head over heels in love with Jayce Bello, she could barely breathe when he entered her space. Her heart pounded and her girly parts tingled. By sixteen she was certain she would die if they didn’t “do it.” She’d lain in bed late at night touching herself, thinking about kissing and stuff. Specifically with Jayce. So handsome. So muscular. So kind, but fierce. One of those guys, like her brothers, who always stood up for the underdog.

  She was also attracted to Jayce’s mysterious side. An only child of two working parents, he didn’t talk a lot about himself. Unlike with her brothers and cousins, Rocky didn’t know much about Jayce’s likes and dislikes or his dreams and goals. He had a way of making the conversation about you or someone else but never himself. He hadn’t changed much in that regard over the years. Even though Rocky had agreed to this personal sightseeing tour in order to get to know Jayce better, so far today the conversation had revolved around Rocky and Manhattan.

  Since Rocky had yet to hear from Tasha about a timetable for Saturday, Jayce had suggested combining (and augmenting) Gram’s speed-cruising wish and Rocky’s desire to see the Statue of Liberty. On the ferry ride across the Hudson River to Liberty State Park, Jayce had pointed out buildings and areas of interest along the Manhattan skyline. Later the conversation had centered on the Statue of Liberty, mostly because Rocky had been so impressed and in awe, then on 9/11 because of a sudden surge of patriotism and a pang of sadness when Jayce had pointed out where the Twin Towers should have been.

  Wanting to lighten the mood on the ferry ride back, Jayce had asked Rocky for an update on all things Sugar Creek, and she’d lapsed into a ramble about the upcoming Spookytown Spectacular and Sam’s foray back into the dating scene. Before she knew it they’d taken the subway to Times Square, where she had gawked at the fantastic weirdness and glitz of the theater district and Jayce had scored tickets to a Broadway musical she’d never heard of but would never forget. The old theater, the live orchestra and astonishing voices!

  Now they sat in a famous little restaurant finishing off the desserts that had followed their posttheater supper. Rocky was exhausted yet buzzed on the whirlwind day and, okay, a little high on the gorgeous man sitting across from her. She realized suddenly that she’d yet to ask pointed questions about his life. Where had the day gone? She’d meant to ask Jayce why he’d left the police force, about his home life in Brooklyn, and then the waiter brought the check and Rocky got distracted. Again. �
�How much?”

  “Don’t worry about it.”

  “I’m not worried. I just want to know what my half is.” As far as she was concerned, there was a fine line between enjoying someone’s hospitality and taking advantage. “I’ve been trying to keep a mental tab throughout the day, but you’re not making it easy. Those theater tickets, for instance. They had to cost a fortune. And now this big dinner at Sardi’s?”

  “I’ll mail you an itemized tab.”

  “No, you won’t.”

  “You’re right. I won’t.” Jayce slipped a credit card into a small leather folder along with the bill. Then he glanced up and smiled a little at Rocky, who couldn’t decide if she wanted to punch or kiss him. “You’re family, Rocky. My city. My treat.”

  She narrowed her eyes. “You know what? I’m not going to argue.”

  “Good.”

  “I’ll just estimate and pay you back after I get home. Better yet, I’ll call Dev in the morning and have him wire some money.”

  “You hate asking Dev for money.”

  “I hate owing you worse. Besides, I can’t go another day away from home without any cash.”

  “I could—”

  “Forget it.” Rocky forked up the last bite of her New York Cheesecake. Yes, she’d gone for the most clichéd item on the dessert list. Just stamp a T for “tourist” on her forehead alongside the butterfly strip. Reminded of the mugging, she touched her fingertips to her wound. She felt like such a fool.

  “Head hurt?”

  “What?” Rocky blinked. “Oh. No. Well, not as much as my pride anyway and not as bad as my feet. I’m not used to spending an entire day in spiky-heeled boots hoofing it all over God’s asphalt city.”

  Jayce pushed away his half-eaten Tiramisu. “No dancing then.” He glanced at his watch. “Too early for the best clubbing anyway.”

  Rocky glanced at her own watch. “It’s almost midnight.”

  “It’s also New York City.”

  It may as well have been another planet. Rocky had felt like an alien all day. Out of sorts. Out of step. She’d never thought of herself as a country girl or a hick, but this city had given her new perspective. It had also made her think about the publishing contract for the Cupcake Lovers on a new level. What if the recipe/memoir book did as well as the editor and publicist anticipated? What if it did mean media interviews? Tasha would light up in front of a TV camera. She’d parry with a reporter and strive to charm viewers. Rocky would fuss with her neckline and fidget under the spotlight. She’d bore the pants off of everyone with background on the founding of Cupcake Lovers and details regarding their charitable efforts, whereas Tasha would at least be entertaining. Tasha probably was the better spokesperson for the club. Not an easy thing to admit.

  “You okay?”

  “Don’t I look okay?” Rocky raised an apologetic hand. “Strike that.” Unsettled, she’d fallen back on snark. “I just…” She leaned forward a little and lowered her voice. “I’m not much of a dancer. And honestly? I’m not into the whole flashing-lights, earsplitting, club-mix-music, couples-basically-humping-on-the-dance-floor scene.” She raised a brow, seizing an opportunity to know Jayce better. “Are you?”

  “Only when I have to be.”

  Which wasn’t really an answer.

  “Ready?” he asked.

  “Sure.” Rocky ignored a wave of disappointment. Yes, she was exhausted. She’d been up since before dawn. She’d been mugged, hit by a car, challenged by a business meeting, and overwhelmed by a day of sightseeing alongside the man who haunted her dreams. Still, she didn’t want this night to end. “I didn’t learn anything about you today.”

  “Then you weren’t paying attention.”

  Rocky pondered that as Jayce escorted her out into the kinetic night. She thought back on the last several hours and realized that although Jayce hadn’t talked about himself, he’d shown that he was thoughtful, generous, and protective. He knew New York City inside and out—both historically and geographically. He was not easily flustered or intimidated. He liked Broadway musicals, Cobb Salad, and seafood and tolerated street-vendor hot dogs. He had a soft spot for carriage horses and was cynical about crime.

  A few other things came to mind, and Rocky realized she’d learned quite a bit about Jayce today. She’d also enjoyed their time together. When Jayce visited Sugar Creek, it was impossible for Rocky to forget their sketchy past and prickly situation. Here in New York, it was almost as if they were meeting for the first time.

  Pulse racing as he guided her through the bustling and brilliant chaos of Times Square, Rocky caught sight of the Empire State Building, its steepled top illuminated by three shades of color. “Look how beautifully it’s lit up.”

  Jayce looked to where she pointed, then squeezed her waist. “You good for another hour or so?”

  Rocky’s heart nearly burst through her ribs. Another hour with a man who fried her brain cells with the most innocent touch? Hell, yeah. “Why?”

  “Your wish list. I know a way to kill two birds with one stone.”

  * * *

  As far as touristy events went, visiting the Empire State Building ranked high. When he’d first moved to New York City, Jayce had checked out the view from the 86th-floor observatory. He’d also climbed higher to the 102nd-floor observatory, but he’d never visited at night with a date. Had never even contemplated the romantic boon of a live jazz saxophonist who strolled the deck three nights a week playing standards and the occasional requested song. Jayce remembered reading about the added attraction in one of the city guides—“especially popular for marriage proposals, anniversaries, and special events such as Valentine’s Day.” He remembered wondering what kind of sap fell for that sort of schlock. He never imagined he’d be said sap.

  “Beautiful,” Rocky said as she devoured the 360-degree view of the city that never slept.

  Jayce agreed. The view was magnificent. But he wasn’t looking at the sparkling landscape; he was looking at Rocky. The observatory was open-air and, eighty-six stories above ground level, prone to gusty winds. Many of Rocky’s curls had been blown free from the loose, tousled style Jayce had created earlier in the day. He watched as she pocketed the hair clip and allowed her long hair to whip unchecked around her gorgeous face. He absorbed her natural beauty, illuminated by the moonlight. Breathed in her clean, flowery scent. Sensed a shift in her mood as he crowded her space.

  “I can’t decide if that music’s annoying or a unique touch,” she said, moving away and along the security wall. “It sort of ruins the serenity of a breathtaking view. On the other hand…” She glanced at a couple snuggling a few paces ahead. “I suppose music has its perks, depending on the circumstance.” She stopped then and looked over her shoulder at Jayce. “Bring a lot of women here, do you?”

  “You’re the first.”

  She blinked at that.

  “Considering the circumstance,” Jayce said, moving toe-to-toe with the blue-eyed beauty, “the music’s a perk.” The lone saxophonist segued from an unfamiliar rambling song to a melodic version of a Cole Porter ballad, and Jayce took Rocky into his arms.

  Her spine stiffened. “What are you doing?”

  “Fulfilling your wish list.” He held her close and slowly swayed. “Not the same as dancing in a club.”

  “No,” she said in a soft, tense voice. “But it’ll do.” She relaxed against him a little, wrapped her arms around his neck.

  Jayce swallowed hard as she rested her head against his shoulder. What do you know? This was romantic. But where did he go from here? He’d never second-guessed his actions with a woman, but Rocky wasn’t the random date. She was his best friend’s little sister. Jayce had taken her virginity. He’d proposed marriage. He’d distanced himself from the people he loved in order to protect Rocky’s virtue and his reputation with her family. Alienating the Monroes would have been akin to cutting out his heart.

  Leaving had been all too easy.

  It hadn’t occurred to him a
t the time, but Rocky’s disdain had afforded Jayce a prime reason to escape the crushing guilt associated with his parents’ deaths. He knew that now, and the knowledge was troubling.

  Resisting dark thoughts, Jayce splayed his hand across the small of Rocky’s back and focused on a hopeful future. Should he share his plans? I’m moving home. Starting fresh. That includes pursuing a relationship with you. Would she be angry? Intrigued? He could definitely count on shocked.

  “This is weird,” Rocky said, but she didn’t push away. “This whole day, I mean. Us. Together. No tension.”

  “Not the resentful kind anyway.”

  “Yeah. The sexual pull. It’s pretty intense.”

  Direct as always.

  “I don’t want to go home feeling like this, Jayce. I need to … I want to be over you.”

  Well, hell.

  “I want to move past my resentment, to let go of this silly, girlish infatuation. I’m almost thirty years old. Time to grow up.”

  His heart pounded like a mother. Just this morning he’d shipped his belongings off to Sugar Creek. He’d given up his rent-controlled office. He’d made a mental transition. Moving back to a small town. Renovating his parents’ house and dealing with the memories trapped within those walls. Reinforcing old relationships and making new ones. He knew it wouldn’t be easy, but leave it to Rocky to push his patience and restraint to the limit.

  “So we’re going to ignore the obvious.”

  At last she shifted and looked up into his eyes. “I was thinking it might be smarter to scratch the itch.”

  He raised a brow.

  “Once satisfied…”

  “The craving will vanish?”

  “Exactly.”

  He didn’t believe that, but he did see another way, a damned pleasurable way, to advance his intention of winning over the woman in his arms. “Fair warning, Dash. You’re playing with fire.”

  She nipped his lower lip and wiggled her lower body brazenly against his erection. “I’ll take my chances.”

  CHAPTER NINE