Highlander’s Secret

by Adams, Alisa

  Gregor laughed, then his face became somber. "I want to see Iona on the way back. I need to speak to her more and find out how to release her without her father catching us."

  Columba was silent for a moment, then he said, "Gregor, have you thought this through? You hardly know her."

  "I have thought about nothing else since I first met her, Father," he replied, "and I need to see her only to confirm what I already know. She is kind and patient, she makes me feel wonderful, and we need each other. I feel that in my heart, but I need to spend more time with her. Perhaps I will stay there for a while."

  "And her vocation?" Columba asked, "what about that?"

  Gregor sighed and shrugged. "I do not believe it is real; neither does she."

  The two men looked at each other for a moment then Columba shook his head. The thoughts and actions of women baffled him more often than not, and he was very glad to be a man, acting more with the impulses of his head than his heart. He said as much to Gregor.

  "Father, imagine a world without women!" He laughed, "why, it would not be a world worth living in - who would bear our children, wrap us in their arms and ease our sorrows? I don't think God meant us to understand them, only to love them, and have them love us."

  "True." Columba laughed. "I have chosen to live without the solace of a woman in my bed, but I am so very glad that they live on this earth!"

  The next morning, they thankfully took leave of the Bishop of Skye and began the long trek back to Portree.

  Andie had yet to make up her mind about Cameron. His declaration of love had come like a bolt out of the blue and she was thoroughly confused by its implications. Marrying an ordinary man was complicated enough, but marrying the son of a Laird who would one day inherit a huge estate full of people, livestock and crofts was a huge responsibility. True, she would not be the one carrying the heaviest load, but as the Laird's wife, she would have to be his constant support. However, her primary function would be to bear him children, preferably sons.

  She had no idea how she felt about him. If he had proposed to her that very moment she would have been speechless. She decided that in her present situation it was not worth worrying about. In all the time she had worked for Iona she had barely even thought about him. She would put him out of her mind. But that, as she soon realized, was much more easily said than done.

  She dreamed about him that first night, and for many nights thereafter. Sometimes they were walking through a fragrant garden holding hands; sometimes they were sitting together in the grass talking and laughing, and sometimes they were kissing. Andie had never kissed or been kissed by a man before. She certainly had never gone any further than that.

  The only kisses she had ever exchanged with anyone were on the cheeks, and they were all with friends and female relatives. However, she had seen men and women kissing on the lips and she knew that this was a different kind of kiss - one that meant more than friendship. They usually stood with their bodies pressed together very tightly and their arms around each other, sometimes talking in low voices or whispering. When she saw this, it gave her a strange feeling of wanting to do the same thing, but with whom she had no idea. It would have to be someone very special. Perhaps it would be with Cameron, perhaps not, but she knew that there was a lover for her somewhere. She was not destined to die an old maid and a virgin.

  Andie's primary duty at the convent was to help in the kitchen. The first day she peeled and chopped vegetables all day long till her hands were bleeding. After a few days, the tender skin started to become work-roughened and calloused, however, and she began to enjoy the banter of the kitchen.

  She decided that the best way to interact with the others was to make fun of herself and her status as a high-class lady. The working-class women loved it and began to do exaggerated impersonations of her which made her dissolve into fits of giggles.

  Even the children joined in, mincing around and sticking their noses in the air, two things Andie had never done in her life. If it had not been for the perilous circumstances in which she found herself Andie would have loved to have stayed there, but not as a nun; never that.

  17

  Donalda's Visit

  Donalda was terrified. She often went out riding, but always accompanied by a groom and never in wet weather. Today it was raining, not in sheets of driving sleet, but in a soft persistent drizzle. It had been two days since Iona had gone missing and Donalda could only hope that she was safe and had not been captured already. She was not looking forward to the ride. Despite her woolen fur-lined cloak she knew that she would be wet and freezing, and at the end of the ride, there would be no guarantee that her daughter would even be there.

  But she had hope. She had hope because she had to. It was a two-hour ride to the convent and the way would be slippery and dangerous, but the conditions would be the same for anyone following her.

  However, she knew that if she could not make it back in time the nuns would give her shelter, and that thought consoled her. Even if she had to sleep on a rough mattress, a pile of straw, or even the floor, she knew that she would be safe. If she had to spend the night in the convent she could claim to have been sheltering from the rain, although she would have preferred to go back to tell Cameron what had transpired.

  Donalda had always possessed a fast horse because she spent most of her time inside and when she went out for a ride she wanted to ride as fast as she could, galloping freely with the wind in her face and blowing through her hair. Her horse was a gelding called Charlie, who was a small swift gray. Although he was generally good-natured, he was a good judge of character, as most animals are and if he knew that someone disliked his Mistress, he disliked them in turn. Craig could not go near him for fear of having his knees broken by a pair of sharp hooves encased in iron shoes.

  Instead of her usual elegant riding habit, Donalda was wearing an old scruffy one, which she kept hidden under her voluminous cloak because it was the warmest. She set off slowly, walking Charlie through the worst of the mud. She knew that the track would become smoother the farther on she went, so she did not worry too much when her pace was not as swift as she would have liked.

  They plodded on and presently came to the first of the crofts she had to pass. She could see sheep dotted all over the hillside behind it, and goats and chickens in a pen close to the little house, which was a little dry-stone building with a thatched roof. It had one small window on either side of the door, covered with thick sheets of linen to keep the cold out; glass had not reached the crofts on the Isle of Skye yet. A wisp of smoke was coming out of the chimney but was blown away by the fresh wind from the sea.

  Donalda contrasted the cozy little homestead with the huge pile of masonry she lived in. In a place like this, it might be cramped, but it would never be lonely. Presently, an elderly woman came out to toss out some meal for the chickens. She smiled and waved at Donalda, and she waved back, returning her smile, but it could not be seen under her veil.

  The little encounter cheered her: there were still pleasant people in the world, even though they were humble and poor. She made a promise to herself to give some money to her priest for the crofters in the estate to give them some Christmas cheer. When she got past the first little homestead she rode on to the next one, about a mile further on. There were no friendly faces at this one, just five big barking dogs who all snapped at Charlie's heels. Donalda kicked the little horse into a canter and laughed as he left them behind.

  The wind was blowing strongly into her face now, and it seemed to be blowing all her troubles away with it. She experienced a sudden feeling of euphoria as the little horse underneath her tossed his head and stretched himself into an effortless gallop. He seemed to be as happy as she was.

  Presently, she turned off the main path to take the narrower one to the convent and slowed Charlie down as the track became steep and slippery again. After they reached the bottom of the hill there was a smooth, barely perceptible rise in the ground and a broad track whic
h led to the sanctuary, which she reached half-an-hour later.

  Her feeling of euphoria abruptly left her and as she dismounted from Charlie and walked up to the formidable iron gates with a man-at-arms on either side she felt herself begin to tremble. The sister who appeared at the gate had a sweet, jolly face and she smiled at Donalda as she advanced towards her.

  "How may I help you?" she asked pleasantly.

  "I am looking for my daughter," Donalda replied nervously, "and I think she may be here."

  "I am happy to let you in," the nun replied, "but you must first uncover your face. Before you do, let me tell you that there is no blemish or scar that we have not seen before, and we are all beautiful in God's sight."

  "Thank you, sister," Donalda said with a smile, then she uncovered her face, dropping her gaze to the ground. When she raised her eyes cautiously, the nun was still smiling at her.

  "I am Sister Susanna," she informed her, "we have had several young ladies arrive in the last few days. What does she look like?"

  "Her name is Iona and she looks a bit like me," Donalda replied, "without the birthmark, of course, but her eyes are blue. And she has a friend with her whose name is Andrina or Andie."

  "Ah, I know exactly who you mean!" Sister Susanna exclaimed. "We had a young monk here the other day who was quite smitten with your daughter. He said nothing, of course, but it is very easy to tell what a man is thinking sometimes, even a monk. She is very beautiful, of course."

  "Thank you," Donalda replied, smiling, "I think so too."

  And then Iona was there, right in front of her. She was standing sideways to Donalda, so that she could look her fill at the lovely classic profile, with its straight nose, arched eyebrows, high slanting cheekbones and full lips. Did I really give birth to this beauty? she thought in disbelief, an ugly, deformed creature like me? For once in her life, she did not feel a failure.

  Then Iona turned and saw her. She smiled joyfully and ran up to her, and wrapped her arms around her mother as if she would never let her go.

  "Mother," she said breathily, "I'm so glad to see you. How did you get here?"

  "I rode, of course," she replied, "but I may have been seen - I am not quite so clever as my daughter!"

  "Would you like to stay here—get away from him?" Iona asked.

  Donalda's eyes widened. It was something she had never thought about before. "I never even considered it," she said in wonder, "but let us talk about it after we discuss you. Why are you wearing this?" She indicated Iona's veil. "Are you intending to become a nun?"

  "Would you mind?" Iona asked cautiously.

  "I would be happy if you were happy." Donalda covered her daughter's hands with her own, "if this is the path you really want to walk, I am content."

  Iona shook her head. "I thought at first that it might be a way of escaping from a fate worse than death," she sighed, "but Mother, I could not bear to be cooped up in these four walls - or any four walls - for the rest of my life."

  "That is why I asked," Donalda smiled, "it does not sound like your destiny. But have you given any thought to what you will do when you leave here? You cannot wander the roads, and you have no skills for any job other than being a lady. You have no money. What will become of you?"

  "I have a little money that I've been squirrelling away from my allowance—enough to keep a cheap roof over our head for a few months. I would then like to get to the mainland and go to see Auguste's wife Alexa. Andie and I could perhaps find work as ladies' maids or governesses."

  "I am not at all sure that those are wise plans," Donalda said, frowning doubtfully. "You are leaving a lot to chance. By the way, where is Andie?" She looked around.

  "The children adore her," Iona said, "she is probably rolling in the mud with them somewhere!"

  "You know about Cameron's feelings for her?" Donalda frowned and shook her head. "I worry that he will become like his father."

  "I do not think so," Iona answered, "a few years ago I had my doubts, but in the last, while he has changed to become a much gentler man."

  "And how does she feel about him?" Donalda asked.

  "Confused," Iona stated, "I have never seen her like this before." Then she looked up with a malicious twinkle in her eye. "How did the Baron take the news of my escape?"

  Donalda screwed her face up in an expression of mock pain. "I have never met him, but Elisha heard of his condition on the servants' grapevine, which is usually very accurate, as you know." She giggled, then put a hand over her mouth to stop herself bursting out in hysterical laughter.

  "Apparently he was apoplectic with rage," she said, trying not to laugh. "He fed himself till he almost burst then drank himself into a stupor. Six men had to lift him up the stairs, and then in the morning, he woke up in a foul temper with a headache. His gout was troubling him. I would not like to have been there that morning!"

  "I know I should be sorry I brought all that distress upon him," Iona said and sighed, then chuckled again. "But he deserved it!"

  "It puts your father in an awkward situation, though," Donalda said thoughtfully, "if you do not marry the Baron he will be left with very little money. But I would rather be a pauper than see you married to someone you hate."

  "If he were fat and a kind and good-natured man," Iona said, frowning, "I might be able to overlook his physical appearance. But I can see that he is a man with a mean spirit who uses people for his own ends. He is using Father. I could not stand to be married to a man like that."

  They sat in silence for a moment, each buried in her own thoughts, then Iona said, "Can you stay here, Mother?"

  Donalda shook her head. "I cannot leave without Elisha. She has been with me too long and has been a better mother to me than my own mother ever was. I would fear for her welfare if I did not return."

  Iona nodded as she saw the wisdom of this remark. She was just about to go on speaking when there was a sudden squeal behind them and Andie came running towards them. She almost skidded on the smooth stone flags, but Donalda caught her as she threatened to go flying past. "Careful, Andie," she warned with a chuckle. "As far as I know no-one around here has the skill to mend broken necks!"

  Andie was both breathless and incredulous. "I am sorry milady, but it is so good to see you!" she managed at last. "Shall we have some wine? Please tell me all your news. How is Cameron?"

  18

  Captured

  "Cameron is in excellent health, thank you," Donalda said and smiled. "He sends his love. When all this is settled, and if you two would like to be married, you have my blessing."

  Andie looked at Donalda for a moment. Her face was a picture of confusion. "I only found out about Cameron's feelings a few days ago," she said, "and I have no idea about my own yet. He is a good man, and of that, I have no doubt, but is he, my husband? I do not know yet."

  Donalda gazed into the distance for a moment. "When I got married I was only sixteen," she said, her eyes filling with tears. "I had no idea what awaited me. Had I known I would have killed myself."

  She paused to collect herself and looked Andrina straight in the eye. "But I was - am - a maimed woman that no-one wanted except Craig, who was almost penniless and needed my money and a son. He wanted another one - as a kind of backup, I suppose, but we got Iona, thank God. But he settled for a son and a daughter, and after that I was disposable. Not only that, I was, and still am an embarrassment to him. I lead quite a contented life, however. I would not give Craig the satisfaction of seeing me unhappy, and I have my Elisha, and my devoted son and daughter.

  Cameron will be a good husband, Andie. I know him, and what is more, I feel it, and my hunches are seldom wrong. He will never be rich. Neither of you will, and neither will you, Iona, but I believe that if you are prepared to live more simply you can be happy. You are not like I was, Andie. You are beautiful, self-confident and intelligent. Cameron is a steady and dependable man, and even if you do not love him, you can like him."

  "That's true," Iona said thoughtfu
lly. "I doubt that either of us will ever get the man of our dreams, Andie, but we can both do better than the Baron."

  Andie nodded slowly. "Then if he asks me I shall say yes and we will be happy."

  "Let us get that wine," Iona said, standing up. "We deserve a little now."

  "We certainly do!" Andie laughed.

  "Not for me, thank you." Donalda sighed. "I have to get back to the castle. I thought perhaps that I might stay, but my absence will be missed. I can say that I went out to meditate or pray without a groom during the day, but overnight would be taking a chance. I must get back before dark, anyway." She stood up and hugged both of them. "I will see you both soon," she kissed each of them on the cheek and went out and strode to the gate, not looking back will she had mounted Charlie. She gave them a little wave and blew them a kiss, then she was gone.

  It took a long while to get back to the castle along the slippery tracks, and by the time she had gone half the distance, Donalda was exhausted. Dusk was gathering, the most treacherous part of the road was still in front of her, and she still had a long way to go.

  Suddenly out of the half-dark came the clash of a sword being drawn, the clatter of horses' hooves, and a familiar loathsome voice. "Well, my dear!" Craig said sarcastically. His voice held a mocking note of false concern. "I was worried about you. You should not be riding in the dark like this."

  "I was praying," she replied in the same tone, "for my daughter, who I believe is being sold to a monster."

  Craig rode his horse up very close to her and leaned forward so that his face was almost touching hers. She could see the glint of his eyes as he sneered at her. "No, my sweet," he leaned forward and touched her purple birthmark with his fingertips, then said in a silky tone, "It was I who married a monster."

  She kept her features as still as a plaster mask. She would not let him see how deeply the remark had cut into her. Donalda hated him. She knew that if she had had a sword to wield she would have cut off his head with it and smiled while she was doing it.