Say You're Mine (You're Mine, 1)

by Jenika Snow

  That pink heart that meant more today than it ever had before.

  “It’s old and run-down and not the first place I’d want you to stay in—” I closed my eyes, bringing her even closer.

  She pulled back and looked up at me. “As long as I’m with you, I can live anywhere.”

  That had my heart hurting in the best kind of way.

  We wouldn’t have much money, but that didn’t matter. I didn’t care about any of it, because as long as I had Maggie, the world was right.

  Chapter 3

  Felix

  One year later

  We have the rest of our lives.

  I’d been working myself up for so damn long that I was exhausted from it all. Seeing the one person that consumed my thoughts, my heart, my very soul, and not telling her how I felt, took a little piece of me away each day.

  I sat in the car, the heater going because it was getting colder, and I wasn’t about to freeze my balls off. I stared at Maggie’s work, hating that I was this nervous, but feeling alive in the same sense.

  I’d thought about that moment in the car last year over and over again, that scene playing through my head like a broken record. But I wanted it on repeat. I wanted it consuming me, taking root and never leaving.

  I’d wanted to kiss her so badly, wanted to just give in and press my mouth to hers.

  But I hadn’t, and I refrained from being anything but her friend.

  I wanted that to change.

  For the last year a lot had happened.

  Graduating from high school.

  Moving out of our parents’ houses.

  Getting settled into this rundown apartment.

  Starting college.

  Things weren’t the way I wanted them, not with where we were living, but that was because Maggie deserved better than what I could probably ever give her.

  I was pulled out of my thoughts when I saw the last customer had left. The lights were turned off, and I sat up straighter. I watched Maggie through the window. She didn’t even know I was here, waiting for her, so I felt like a real fucking stalker in this moment. But watching her when she didn’t know I was, seeing the genuine expressions on her face, the ones not guarded because she was aware of everyone around her, was an honest experience.

  She came out, turned to lock the door, and I scanned her surroundings. It was dark, but only seven in the evening. The fucking night crept up like a bastard during these winter months. She turned to face me, but her focus was on her purse as she rummaged through it. I got out, and was about to cross the street to go to her when I heard someone whistle then catcall to her.

  “Looking good, sweetheart. Want some company tonight?”

  My entire body tensed as the world seemed to go in slow motion in that moment. The guy who was walking toward her had this lewd fucking grin on his face. He inhaled through the cigarette he had between his lips, and exhaled a cloud of smoke in front of him.

  I looked at Maggie, could see she was ignoring him, but the panic was on her face. My entire body was tight, my muscles strained. The flight or fight instinct rose up in me.

  But it was the fight instinct that won, obviously. No one fucked with Maggie, not without me letting them know exactly the pain they’d feel if they did so.

  I didn’t hesitate to cross the street and put myself between Maggie at this asshole. I momentarily saw the surprise on her face, probably because she wondered where the hell I’d come from. I knew she wasn’t surprised I was defending her.

  I’d do that until I took my last breath.

  The guy came closer, stopped a few feet from me, and flicked his cigarette butt away.

  “What, you trying to protect her from me or something?” The guy chuckled. “I was just admiring a pretty girl.” He tried looking around my body at Maggie, but I moved with him.

  “You don’t fucking look at her,” I said in a low, clearly dangerous voice. If he couldn’t take the warning I was throwing at him, then he’d find out exactly what I’d do, and the lengths I’d go to protect what was mine.

  The guy gave me a “what the fuck” look, and I took a step toward him. He was big, but that might be the oversized jacket he was sporting. Even if this guy had been bigger than me, I still would have gotten rowdy and went to ground for Maggie.

  Let it come down to that. Let me show you how far I’ll go.

  I stared at the asshole, my body ready, my hands curled into fists at my side. I felt Maggie move up behind me, grab my wrist, and gently tug on it.

  “Come on, Felix.”

  I was stone in my place, wanting this prick to make a move so I could beat his ass. But to my disappointment he shook his head and turned to walk away from us. I was tempted to stir the pot and start shit with him, simply because he’d thought it was okay to even speak to her. But I felt Maggie’s hand on my wrist, and bit my tongue.

  I wanted to get her home. I wanted her to be safe.

  “I don’t know what you’re doing here, but I’m glad you are,” she said softly.

  I turned and looked at her, wanting to kiss her in that moment. But her cell rang, stopping me from doing anything.

  She answered the call, putting the phone to her ear. “Hey.” A second of silence passed. “It’s okay,” she said and glanced at me. “Felix is here anyway.” After a few moments she hung up. “That was my ride telling me she had something come up and couldn’t drive me home.”

  “Guess it was a good thing I was here.” My heart was thundering. I hated the very thought that she could have been out here all alone, that bastard going further than he had.

  “Yeah, it really is a good thing you’re here. She smiled up at me and my heart thundered even harder.

  “Let’s get you home.” I grabbed her hand and entwined my fingers with hers.

  I’d never let her go.

  Maggie

  We sat on the floor, since the shitty couch we had wasn’t all that comfortable anyway. On the way home we’d picked up takeout, and half-eaten pasta sat between us.

  It wasn’t like we had a lot of spending money, but we’d splurged tonight for dinner. I had a feeling it was because Felix had been worried for me and wanted to make me feel better.

  Although neither of us was twenty-one and couldn’t buy alcohol, Felix worked with a guy who had given him a six-pack of cheap beer for helping him out. It tasted like warmed piss, but we didn’t care.

  After the weird night that had gone down even the nasty flavor of this watered down beer tasted good.

  “Are you sure you’re okay?” he asked again. This had to be the fifth time since we’d gotten home.

  “I’m fine, really.” I smiled, genuinely okay. “I mean, that guy didn’t bother me, not just because you were there, but his words didn’t affect me.” And they didn’t, not really. “Hell, I hear worse than that at work sometimes.” I saw the way his jaw tensed, and knew that sentence had pissed him off.

  “What?” he said through gritted teeth. “Assholes say shit to you at work?”

  I shifted on the floor, uncrossing my legs and shrugging. “I mean, I’ve had someone ask me to go home with him so he can…” I cleared my throat. “You get the picture.” This blast of cold left him and went straight into me. I was staring at the pasta, feeling weird even talking about this. When Felix didn’t say anything I glanced up. He looked like he wanted to go hunt down that random guy and bitch slap him.

  “You need to tell me when shit like that happens.”

  I rested my back against the side of the couch. “So what, you can stand guard at my work and give any guy the stink eye if he looks at me the wrong way?” I chuckled, teasing Felix, but sobered when I saw he wasn’t smiling.

  “Yeah that’s exactly what I’d do if I had to.” He was dead serious.

  I shook my head. “Felix, you can’t be by me all the time. Besides, I’m not the first person this stuff happens to, and I won’t be the last. Even some of the women I work with talk lewdly about random guys that come in.�
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  He shook his head and looked down. “I’d do anything to make sure you’re safe, Maggie.”

  I heard the sincerity in his words, but I also saw it in his eyes when he looked up at me. “And I’d do the same for you, although you’re so big and strong you don’t need much protection.” I felt my cheeks heat. I couldn’t believe I’d just said that. “I mean, that’s what friends are for, right?”

  Friends.

  He was that to me … and more. I wanted something deeper, something that I’d probably never have with him.

  Because I’m too much of a chicken to say anything. Because ruining this already close bond we have scares the ever-loving shit out of me.

  He didn’t speak for long seconds, just staring at me, something on his mind, clearly. “Yeah, that’s what friends are for,” he finally said, this weird tone in his voice. When he smiled at me this time I could see it was distant. There was something on his mind, but it was obvious he wasn’t going to open up to me about it.

  He reached out and pushed a strand of hair behind my ear, and this tingle settled over me. “Felix?” I said before I could stop myself. He looked into my eyes, and right then and there I wanted to tell him I was in love with him. “I love you,” I said instead.

  “I love you, too.” And he pulled me closer and gave me a hug. Being close to him, with his arms wrapped tightly around me, made everything seem okay.

  It made everything feel like it would all work out.

  Chapter 4

  Felix

  It’s time to be honest.

  No more pretending this is what you want.

  It had only been a week since picking her up from work and wanting desperately to kick that guy’s ass. She was fine, but I knew I’d never get over the possessive feelings I had for her.

  I pushed that night, and that asshole, out of my head. It wouldn’t do any good to stew over it.

  In my eyes she was a queen and deserved to be treated as such. And I’d make sure to keep her safe no matter what. I’d make sure she’d always be protected until I drew my last breath.

  I heard the front door open and close, and my heart started beating hard and fast. It always did when she was near, when I knew she was coming home to me.

  Coming home … to me.

  She rounded the corner, her focus on whatever she was trying to find in her bag.

  “Hey,” I said, and she jumped. I grinned.

  She looked up at me and smiled. “You scared the shit out of me.”

  “Sorry,” I said, but honestly I kind of liked the surprised look on her face. It was real, genuine. And the smile she gave me afterward, the one that held relief when she saw it was me, made me pretty fucking happy.

  “How was your day?” I asked and turned to grab the plate of burgers I’d made for dinner. Our budgets were pretty limited what with us going to school and both of us working between classes. We stretched the money we earned. The savings I had went for rent and utilities, but hell, I had no problem working overtime to make sure she didn’t eat ramen seven days a week. And I did just that.

  I hated that Maggie was working at all. I wanted to take care of her fully, to make sure I was the one providing for her. I wanted her to just focus on school, to not be stressed out. But my girl was headstrong, stubborn at times, and liked doing things herself. I couldn’t fault her for the very traits I loved in her.

  “It was fine, although I didn’t do the greatest on my economics test, and I spilled coffee all over my shirt at work.” She grabbed the bottom of her white shirt and pulled it out so I could see the large brown stain. I got a flash of her belly in the process. Her skin was smooth, her stomach flat. The sight of her navel had my blood rushing through my veins faster.

  I cupped the back of her head, pulled her in impossibly close, and closed my eyes as I inhaled deeply.

  She smells incredible.

  She gave me a friendly hug, but all I was thinking about was how her body fit perfectly with mine, and how I wanted to do so much more with her.

  And that’s all it took for my dick to come alive. Hell, it took less than that, but I’d been too far gone in the feel and smell of her to try and calm myself down.

  Shit.

  I didn’t want to be one of those guys, the ones who couldn’t control themselves when they saw a pretty girl. And although I couldn’t really help my body’s reaction to Maggie, I also wanted to be respectful.

  But this wasn’t just about seeing a pretty girl. This was Maggie, the one girl I loved so much it physically hurt. Despite the fact being near her brought out this reaction in me. It always had.

  “How was your day?” she asked, her voice innocent, sweet.

  Fuck, my dick was getting harder by the second.

  She had her body pressed right to mine, her breasts to my chest, her softness to my hardness … in more ways than one.

  It wasn’t like I didn’t hug her or hold her. I did plenty of times, cherished every moment of it, but when I did feel my body start to react, I backed up from the situation. Hell, even holding her while she slept back at her parents’ house had been difficult.

  Freaking her out with an erection pressed to her belly wasn’t exactly what I wanted to do to her.

  But then I felt her freeze, felt her lean body go tight against mine at the same moment she came in contact with my raging hard-on.

  Fuck.

  I should have pulled away right then and there, made up some excuse. Maybe she’d felt me popping wood before? Maybe she’d felt my arousal all these years when I held her, but she’d never said anything?

  Maggie pulled away slightly, yet she still had her arms locked around my neck, still had her chest pressed to mine.

  I didn’t move.

  She didn’t move.

  Hell, I don’t even think we breathed.

  I’d done so well all these years in keeping myself in check around her, not wanting to put this weirdness between us by admitting my emotions. If she suspected anything, she never let on. Or maybe I was so blinded by my love for her I wouldn’t have been able to tell if she had known something.

  I pulled back, scrubbed a hand over my head, and felt this weird sensation move over me. She still stared at me, and although there was no judgment, no awkwardness coming from her, I still felt like the air in the room heated uncomfortably.

  “I think I’m going to head to bed,” I finally said, and just as I turned to leave, she grabbed my arm. Scenarios about her wanting to “comfort” me, wanting to tell me everything was fine, played through my head. I didn’t know why I felt so strange right now, but the raging hard-on I was sporting had yet to subside. Hell, just thinking about being pressed against her, smelling the sweet scent that surrounded her, and holding her, had me so needy I couldn’t think straight.

  I just needed to leave before I made an idiot out of myself.

  “I made dinner.”

  “You won’t eat with me?” She sounded a little shocked, and I felt like an asshole for waning to head to my room. But turning around and showing her my pants were still tented, and trying to explain what I was doing about all of this, about how I was now going to explain my emotions to her, weighed heavily on me. There was no getting around this, and I wouldn’t lie to her, but right now I needed to think about hot to fix this and move forward.

  I needed to think about what to say to her and how to explain that all these years I’d been in love with her.

  Chapter 5

  Maggie

  I had wanted to go to Felix right away, but this weird vibe was coming off him.

  Maybe he felt awkward that I’d clearly felt his erection?

  Maybe he was embarrassed because of it?

  Maybe he was ashamed of it?

  I knew enough. It wasn’t like he could really help his body reacting. But another part of me wanted to feel warm and fuzzy that Felix obviously desired me.

  I had my body pressed right to his. Maybe it was just a natural reaction, something he couldn’t h
elp?

  I tried thinking back on the past when he’d held me. It’s not like I’d ever felt anything from him like that, but now that I thought about it, aside from when he held me while I slept, he’d always ended the hugs and moved away from me. Could he have been trying to hide his arousal?

  My heart beat wildly in my chest. I was overanalyzing all of this. I needed to tell Felix it wasn’t a big deal—although it was, but in the best kind of way. I knew he loved me, and I loved him.

  But I was in love with him, and just because he got an erection while I hugged him, and just because I knew he cared for me, that didn’t mean he felt that same intensity that I did.

  I ran my hand over the foggy mirror, the bathroom steamy from the shower I’d just taken. I stared at my blurry reflection, my hair already starting to curl slightly from the humidity. I hated that he’d been so uncomfortable about what had happened he hadn’t eaten dinner with me … the incredible dinner he’d prepared. But I wasn’t about to just let this slide. I wasn’t about to ignore this because he didn’t want to talk about it. Even if he was embarrassed and the love he had for me wasn’t on the same level as the love I had for him, I needed him to know things were fine.

  I shut off the light and headed down the hallway. His room was across from mine, the last door on the left. Although we’d “lucked out” and there were two rooms in this place, I wouldn’t have minded sleeping in the same bed as Felix. It wasn’t because I wanted to be close to him in the most physical sense, although I definitely wanted that too. It was also because he was my best friend, and I felt safe and secure in his arms.

  Standing on the other side of his door, I was tempted to just be bold and open it, let him know things wouldn’t change and he’d need to get past the fact things wouldn’t change. But that wasn’t me, and if I was going to tell him how I felt, which I was contemplating doing, I wanted to be gentle with this.