Devoted to Love

by Shayla Black

  “But what happens if you don’t try?”

  “And not having anal sex with you damages whatever is happening between us?” she said skeptically. “Is that it?”

  “Don’t twist my words. I’m not saying I’ll care about you less if I don’t put my cock in your ass. I’m saying that if you don’t start trying to believe that I’ll put you first and give you what I think you need, I don’t know where that leaves us. What I’m asking you for today is a symbol. If you have another suggestion, I’m open to that. But I know how absolutely fucking intimate this act can be. I know it can connect two people. Will you try? Are you willing to see what it does for us? If you don’t like it, I’ll stop. Simple as that.”

  Maggie bit her lip. Apprehension tightened her face. “I don’t know.”

  “Then let’s talk this out. What are you afraid of? Pain?”

  “No.”

  Her answer worried him. If she wasn’t concerned it would hurt, she could only fear one other thing . . .

  “You’re afraid of letting me closer.”

  She clenched her fists and retreated across the bed. “Is that a surprise? The person who gave birth to me dumped me off on my grandparents’ porch for twenty fucking years. And she never came back. My sister found her. We were so unimportant that she just forgot we existed. Granted, she’s tried to make it up since but . . . Now here you are. You’ve been in Comfort for four days and you’ve already decided you want every part of me. Dude, you’re leaving. I’m staying. So maybe some things are better left alone.”

  Her fears and insecurities were howling, and he needed to muzzle them fast. “I can’t speak for your mother since I’ve never met her. But I know me and what I’m feeling. I’ve been holding back and trying not to scare you off, but I’ll lay it all out there if you need me to be vulnerable first. I’m not falling in love with you, baby. I’m already there. I don’t know why or how. I just know that’s the truth, and it’s not changing. The logistics of where we live don’t worry me; that’s easy. Reaching you here”—he pointed to her heart—“is my first and foremost concern. Your mother may have left you, and for that I’m so damn sorry. But I didn’t do that to you. And I won’t. That’s my promise to you. So can you meet me halfway? Can you try?”

  Tears welled in her eyes. “I hate it when you make me cry.”

  Because he was getting to her, he’d bet. “This isn’t the first time?”

  “Wanna gloat about it?”

  Ignoring the fact that she always got prickly when he got close, Josiah pressed a kiss to her forehead. “No, just worried about you. Wanting to understand how I can make you feel better.”

  “Why?” She tossed her hands in the air. “Even when I’m intentionally being a bitch, you care about me. How am I supposed to avoid making a fool of myself over you if you don’t stop being so perfect?”

  Tears splashed down her cheeks, and Josiah couldn’t stand to see her hurt. “Okay. I won’t press you anymore today.”

  Maggie sighed as more tears fell down her cheeks. Then she rose up on her knees and launched herself against him, her expression grim but accepting. “But you’re right, and it would be better if I just stopped saying no.”

  Was she serious? He stared into her eyes, looking for answers. “You’re sure?”

  She simply nodded.

  Because he’d been willing to relent, she was willing to entrust him with her body . . . and maybe her heart?

  His heart flipped over. “Oh, baby . . .”

  Josiah couldn’t stop himself from pressing a tender kiss to her lips. Maggie opened to him with a soft acceptance he’d never felt from her. She’d always kept everything between them either casual or contentious or something else that prevented him from getting too close. Finally, she’d taken down her defenses.

  “I promise you won’t regret this,” he whispered. “You won’t regret us.”

  After another kiss, Josiah positioned Maggie on her hands and knees at the edge of the bed. He rolled on his condom and kissed the small of her back.

  “What should I do?” Her voice was almost a squeak.

  “I’ll tell you when we get there. Right now, just relax. Just feel me.”

  Then he eased his way inside her sex, gratified to feel her slick and welcoming. Her flesh closed around him as if she’d been desperate to feel a part of him inside some part of her. Josiah threw his head back and let loose a long groan.

  For once, she didn’t have a taunt or a snappy comeback. Instead, she gripped the quilt in her fists, sucked in a sob, and arched to take more of him. He was awed by how vulnerable to him she was allowing herself to be. She wasn’t hiding. She wasn’t pretending that tears weren’t running down her cheeks. He’d been inside her many times; for the first time he truly felt her soul.

  “Magnolia . . .” Josiah urged her upright, guiding her onto her knees, then he pressed his chest to her back and wrapped his arms around her.

  He hugged her as he filled her. He drove her higher as he gave her his love. He worshipped her as he slid his fingers to her most sensitive spot and drove her to another gasping climax.

  When she sagged toward the mattress again, he positioned her, then withdrew from her slickness and nudged her back entrance with his crest. “This is simple, baby. Arch your back for me. Think about bearing down and opening up. I’ll do the rest.”

  She hesitated, so he petted her hip, kissed her left cheek, and waited until she finally did as he’d asked. “Perfect. So, so pretty, baby. I’ll make you feel good. Worshipped. I promise.”

  But now that the moment was here, tension took hold of her again. She was nervous. Scared. “Don’t get in your head. Let go and give yourself to me. Trust me. I’ll be here.”

  Dragging in a shaking breath, Maggie finally nodded and bowed her head. She surrendered.

  Josiah held her like something precious as he slowly pushed inside her. He met a little resistance, and she whimpered. “Shh. Arch a little more. It’ll be fine. It’ll be good.”

  Maggie lifted her hips a fraction more. The bow in her back was a thing of beauty.

  He watched as he slipped past her tight ring and slid inside her completely.

  “Oh . . . Josiah.”

  Her words thrilled him because he heard surprise and desire. What he didn’t hear was pain.

  “I’m here, baby. I’m inside you. It feels so good.”

  “Yes.” She eased back onto him, seeking even deeper penetration.

  She was the kind of woman who wanted to be touched and explored, petted and used and thoroughly loved. If she let him, he would be happy to give her that every day for the rest of her life.

  He just had to keep them all alive long enough.

  Shoving that thought aside, he pulled back slowly, nearly withdrawing from her. She keened out in protest before he gave in and slipped back inside her velvety passage.

  Now that he was less focused on making sure Maggie wasn’t frightened or pained, he could concentrate on the feel of her around him. Hot, tight, forbidden, all his—she was everything he’d imagined. Everything he craved. And her response, moving with him as she made those arousing little noises in the back of her throat, was more than he’d dared to imagine. Jesus, she was going to burn him alive.

  “That’s it. That’s my baby . . .” he crooned.

  She responded, reaching back for him, fingertips grazing his thigh as she turned to look at him over her shoulder. Her eyes were damp and bright and wide. They burned with desire. Best of all, they held no reservation. She was utterly open. Totally his in this moment. His heart roared as he filled her again.

  Josiah settled in to give her all the pleasure she’d never imagined, hoping like hell this act would cement them as one.

  Together, they rose, panting breaths, cries that turned hoarse, damp skin, and racing hearts. While their bodies were fused, they m
elded, their desires and their devotion merging. Fuck, he was so lost inside her, so dizzy with needing her. He’d never felt closer to another human being in his life. As he gripped her tightly, reveling in the rousing wail of her climax, Josiah emptied inside her, giving himself completely to her.

  On paper, falling for Magnolia West wasn’t a good bet, but he was no more capable of not loving her than he was of not breathing. All he could hope was that he could ensnare her as deeply as she’d hooked him. He wanted forever with her. The question was, did he have a prayer of convincing her to take the biggest chance of all on him?

  CHAPTER 13

  As Maggie slipped off the sensible wedges that coordinated with the sedate black dress she’d worn to Mr. Haney’s funeral, Josiah slipped behind her and wrapped his arm around her waist, dropping a kiss on her neck. Damn, he looked fine in his dark suit. Granted, she’d seen him wear it the night of her sister’s wedding, but somehow he looked even sexier today.

  Probably because she was ridiculously in love with him. After yesterday, how could she possibly resist? He’d taken her in a way she’d never expected or sought. Somehow, he’d made the act beautiful, meaningful. When they’d finally left the bedroom sated and freshly showered, Maggie felt sure she was glowing. Zyron and Trees had obviously noticed, too, since they’d both stared at her hand joined with Josiah’s. Neither seemed thrilled, but she hadn’t cared. She’d been floating on a cloud of happiness—or she had been until Trees asked to speak with Josiah alone.

  Then reality had come crashing down. Enlightenment Fields. The murders. Mercy asking him to breed her. And whatever else these guys might be hiding from her, probably thinking it was for her own good. She’d gone to the kitchen to make everyone lunch. By the time she’d served a quick tomato bisque and piping-hot grilled cheese sandwiches, their conversation was over. Trees looked defeated. Zyron looked confused. Josiah wore his frustration all over his face. She’d asked him later what was going on, but he’d refused to say a word.

  “You okay?” he asked as she stepped out of her wedges.

  “Yeah. Thanks for going with me to the service. You didn’t have to. You didn’t know Mr. Haney.”

  “It worked out well. I got to be near you. Zy and Trees watched the ranch. Besides, if Enlightenment Fields had spies there, they think I attended the funeral of an old family friend.”

  “True. If not for that, Sawyer and I could have handled it but—”

  “No. Even if you leaving the ranch wasn’t dangerous right now, I wouldn’t send you anywhere alone with him.” Josiah’s face darkened. “I don’t like the way he looks at you.”

  That made her crack a smile. “Jealous?”

  “Yes, but I’m more concerned that he hasn’t given up on you. I don’t trust him.”

  “I’m not interested in Sawyer.”

  “I doubt that matters to him, baby.”

  Maggie sighed. Josiah probably wasn’t wrong. “You’re a tad overprotective, you know that? But . . . I don’t hate it.”

  “Protecting you is my job.” He cupped her face and forced her gaze to his. “I love you.”

  Those three words made her heart catch. She wasn’t ready to say them, but she felt the answering pang in her chest and rose up on her tiptoes to reply with a soft, lingering kiss until he lifted away.

  “I’m going to step into your grandfather’s study and have a quick chat with my boss. I’ll be out in a few.”

  “Sure. I’ll be around.”

  As he walked away, she wrestled with herself. Sneak into her grandparents’ bathroom and eavesdrop so she could understand what the hell had all the guys on edge or trust that he would take care of her?

  The ringing of the home phone in the kitchen decided for her. She rushed to the device and lifted the receiver from the wall. “Hello?”

  “Mags?”

  She smiled. “Hi, Granna. How’s California?”

  “Oh, my goodness. Why didn’t you tell me it’s a zoo? I don’t think I’ve ever seen this many people in the same place at once.”

  Maggie laughed. Granna loved the shopping in San Antonio but hated the sheer number of people. LA was far bigger and more crowded, smog and cars everywhere. It was probably a shock to her small-town grandmother.

  “But isn’t the view from Shealyn’s living room something?”

  “It is,” her grandmother conceded. “Of course, your grandfather doesn’t like heights. He says if he looks over the canyon too much he gets sick. And then he worries about possible earthquakes . . . If we have one, this house will go sliding down the side of the mountain and—”

  “What have you two done for fun so far?” Maggie cut in. If she let them go on, nothing good would happen.

  “Mr. Santiago loaned us a driver for the week. So nice of him. His family is unusual, but what lovely people. Anyway, we went to the beach yesterday. That water is cold!”

  “I know! I wasn’t expecting that, either.”

  “And since we were out that direction, we visited the J. Paul Getty Museum. We drove up and down Pacific Coast Highway. Good lord, they have traffic at all hours of the day and night. We’ve eaten at a couple of really nice restaurants.”

  “Has it been romantic?”

  Granna cleared her throat. “Don’t you mind that, young lady. How are you?”

  “Well, Josiah, Sawyer, and I just came home from Ben Haney’s funeral. It was sad, but most of the town turned out. Even Sheriff Wayne stopped fishing long enough to put in an appearance. Though I didn’t see Dixie.” And that had surprised her. Not that her high school acquaintance had been really close to Mr. Haney, but the woman never missed the biggest doings around usually sleepy Comfort. Maggie hoped she was okay. “Afterward, everyone gathered at the diner and chatted.”

  “I wonder what will happen to his land.”

  “We all speculated about that. Apparently, he didn’t have a will.” Maggie shook his head. “Once the county has verified that he died without any heirs, I suspect they’ll auction it off. But the rumor is Enlightenment Fields is already offering to make a healthy donation to the county.”

  Her grandmother made a sound of disapproval. “And no one in Kendall County can pay more for it than those crazy land grabbers. Lord, we’ll be surrounded.”

  Maggie had already thought of that. Josiah was grimly aware, too. She didn’t want to worry her grandparents, so she remained mute. But she was terrified for their safety. If those whack-jobs had truly killed Haney and Mrs. McIntyre—no one else she could think of had motive—then what would stop them from offing another two elderly people?

  “Let’s not talk about that now. Tell me what else—”

  “No. You tell me why you didn’t call me when someone ran down Mildred McIntyre in the street in broad daylight.”

  Damn it. Who had spilled the news to Granna? “Because there’s nothing you can do. Since her body is evidence in a crime, the police and the coroner haven’t released it yet. Her family hasn’t determined when or where they’ll have her funeral or if they’re going to simply cremate her and take her to Oregon with them. If you were here, all you could do is wring your hands.”

  And be in danger.

  “I can’t believe it. Willa Mae told me when I called in a prescription I forgot to refill before I left. She said she heard the news from Dixie, who was in the market the other morning picking up some groceries.”

  Maggie wasn’t surprised, and it wasn’t as if Dixie had divulged anything that everyone around town wasn’t already talking about. In a town as small as Comfort, everyone knew everything in the blink of an eye. In fact, right now half the town might well be wagging about the fact Josiah had stood so close to her at the funeral . . .

  “I’m sorry. I know you two were close.”

  “The sheriff have any idea who killed her? From what I heard, it wasn’t an accident.”

 
“I talked to Deputy Preston.” Or she’d tried to. He’d been infuriatingly tight-lipped. “He didn’t mention any suspects.”

  But Maggie couldn’t stop wondering what would happen next to that house Mrs. McIntyre had rented and the land it sat on. Her daughter and son-in-law had bought it years ago. She had insisted on paying rent. But her husband was long gone. Her kids were all grown, married, and moved away. Surely none of them would have any interest in the property. So it would likely be for sale soon, too. Even though the house was at the far end of town, Maggie could just guess who would buy it.

  Gripping the phone, she took a few steadying breaths. She couldn’t admit to Granna how scared she was. The woman would run home and try to soothe her with homemade cookies and hugs—as she’d done most of Maggie’s life. They had taken her and Shealyn in at an age when they should have been thinking about a quieter future. Her grandparents had probably saved their lives.

  Maggie intended to return the favor.

  “I’ll let you know as soon as something changes,” Maggie lied. “Until then, you and Papa have to do amazing things while you’re in California. Go to Disneyland for me and tell me every detail so I can live vicariously. And go to Catalina. I didn’t get to go there and I hear it’s beautiful. There’s one of those creepy wax museums out there, too. And—”

  “That sounds like a lot of going and doing to me. We’ll see what your grandfather feels like. In the meantime, tell me how you’re faring with Josiah. He seems fairly smitten with you. Any chance that’s mutual?”

  The question took Maggie off guard. Granna didn’t often discuss feelings so directly. She was still from a generation that valued privacy and believed in “polite conversation.” Why had she chosen now to ask? “I . . . I’m really afraid it might be. Granna, he stood beside me at the funeral and never let me any farther than two feet away. He must have asked twenty times if I was okay, if I needed to talk, if he could help me in some way.”

  The only thing that had confused her was that he’d never once held her hand or touched her. Because he’d known tongues would wag? Or because he worried it would get back to Enlightenment Fields? Both reasons were valid, but she’d still missed his touch.