by Anne Leigh
“I just hugged her. Nothing happened, babe,” I staggered, “Nothing happened.”
“Ok, I get it, Zander, nothing happened.” Her voice was cold, distant. “My question was, ‘Who was she?’ Did you meet her at a bar? At the hotel lobby? Last time I checked, the football team didn’t travel with women.”
I winced, “Holly is one of the members of the cheering squad that travel with us to away games.”
“Oh,” her voice was definitely off, “You guys travel with cheerleaders?”
“Yeah,” I explained, “They go on different flights and buses. I’ve known her for a while.”
“How long?” she asked, “And what was she doing in your room? It looked like you were ready for bed.”
“She was, umm,” the next words were going to screw me royally; there was no going back from this, “my ex-girlfriend.”
Her voice was deadly calm, “You travel with your ex-girlfriend to away games? We’ve been together for how many months now and you’re just telling me this?”
She let out a sigh.
“So let me get this straight, you were getting ready for bed. Your ex-girlfriend travels with you. Then, she hugs you in the middle of the night or morning, whatever. In your sleeping clothes.” Her voice was really strained at this point.
“It’s not what it looks, babe,” I dug myself in a deeper hole, “I didn’t tell you she traveled with us because it was insignificant. Holly and I were only together for a few months. It was a long time ago.”
I saw my teammates lining up to board the plane.
She spoke again, softly this time, “I’ll talk to you when you get back.”
I struggled, “Babe, I’m sorry. Please, it’s not what it looks like.”
She let out a sarcastic rasp, “Zander, it is what it is. I’ll talk to you when you get back.”
“I’ll call you when we land. I really want to talk to you some more but we have to board the plane now.” I did not want to let this go but we were boarding. Great fucking timing.
“Just text me or email me. I have a lot of stuff to do,” her reply was terse, short.
“Babe,” I said, frustratingly, “I miss you.”
“We’ll talk when you get back,” she replied.
“Sedona, please,” I said again, “I miss you a lot.”
Her voice slightly broke, “Have a safe flight,” and she hung up.
All throughout the flight, I was quiet. John, my seatmate, asked if I wanted to talk. I said ‘no’ because I was so upset that I upset her. I’ve come to know that Sedona did not care for bullshit. She was a toughie. Our stilted conversation told me that she was looking at the facts and trying to leave her emotions out of it. Her defenses were up. And, when they were up, it was tough to crack. The paparazzi thing was a hurdle that we had to get past through. Brennan was another issue. Hopefully, of the past. This thing with Holly was looking pretty bad for me.
I totally overlooked the fact that Holly and the squad traveled with the team. Holly and I haven’t really talked to each other since we broke up two years ago. I saw her on the field but that was it. Last night was the first time I chatted with her. She happened to be in my floor and decided to stop by and say hi. I didn’t think much of it. Maybe, I should have. I was pretty buzzed when she knocked. She hugged me and I did the same thing. She might have wanted to come in but I told her I was tired. Plus, it would not have been decent of me to invite her in, without anyone else around. We talked about the game and she said that it was nice to talk to me again. I cut the conversation short because it was really late and I wanted to e-mail Sedona before I went to bed. If I knew this was going to happen, I wouldn’t have even opened my door.
As soon as we landed, I asked John if I could borrow his phone again. I was going in to a cell phone store in the morning. I needed a phone to keep in touch with her. I wasn’t going to be home for another 3 days.
Sedona did not pick up. Granted, it was almost 2 in the morning when we reached our hotel.
I left her another voicemail, telling her I missed her.
Sedona
Zander kept calling and texting. He had gotten a new phone. I replied to most of his texts. Just a bunch of “Hi”, “Hello”, “Goodluck”. I told him I was really busy every time he wanted to talk.
I was really busy.
I was also sifting through my emotions.
I was upset that he didn’t tell me about Holly. I was upset that he hugged her and pictures of them were floating around. I talked about this with Nalee and Tanya. They were both rooting for Zander’s explanations. It disconcerted me that he would do something like this. When I asked Kieran what he thought, he advised me to look at it through Zander’s eyes.
His team arrived today. Their game last night at New York was a win. He was interviewed again by one of the college sportscasters. He looked pretty banged up. After all this time, I knew that I would never get used to seeing him with any type of injury. I watched the interview because Zander asked me to; I also wanted to see him. I missed him.
I could hardly concentrate in class. His flight came in at 5 in the afternoon. He texted me that he would be coming over at my place, around 8.
At 7:48, the doorbell rang.
I prepared myself to see him. As soon as I opened the door, his arms went around me. He hugged me so tightly; I had to say, “I can’t breathe.”
He slowly let go. I stayed in his arms. He smelled fresh, masculine, like he always did.
He caressed my back and whispered, “I missed you.”
Slowly, he cupped my chin to face him. Uncertainty was reflected in his eyes. He looked tired. Still sexy but tired.
We walked to my room, I was hungry but I did not need food. I needed to be close to him. Right now.
I slowly shed my clothes as we walked to my bed.
We still had to talk. I knew that. Before that, I needed to relieve my head and my body of the longing that I felt. I haven’t seen him for a week.
He must have removed his clothes in a matter of minutes. As soon as our bodies touched the bed, we were consumed with the need for each other.
The sex was slow and passionate. Savoring. It only lasted a few minutes. The need was still there. It hummed between us; it was in my thighs, in my legs, in my body. It was only satisfied for the moment.
I was spooned into his body; he was lightly peppering my neck with kisses.
“Baby, I’m so sorry,” his voice was apologetic, “She was my ex. I’m just so sorry.”
I turned around to face him. My legs were wrapped in his, “Zander,” I said, “I wouldn’t be doing this with you right now if I didn’t believe you.”
His gaze pierced through me. He held my right hand close to his chest and said gravelly, “I was scared you were going to break up with me. I mean, you didn’t even want to talk to me. It was so fuckin’ hard.”
I stared at him. This man held a piece of me. I also held a piece of his. We have been through a lot these past few months. Somehow, we’ve managed to come out on the other side, better. I just needed time to process what I saw. What I saw was that he was just hugging a woman and it just happened to be really late or early, depending on how you looked at it. He was not the kind of guy who cheated on his woman. He was decent and honest. I held on to that belief. And, I was right. The emotions that I saw in his eyes when I greeted him at the door, confirmed it. He cared for me. A late night romp with an ex-girlfriend was something he would not do to compromise what we had.
I smoothed a hand across his cheek, “I didn’t want to talk to you because I knew you would cloud my judgment. I believe you, babe. I do. I just wanted to come to a conclusion on my own. I care a lot about you. Those pictures were upsetting. What upset me more was that you put yourself in a position where people could take those kinds of pictures.”
His eyes shifted regretfully, “It was really stupid of me to open the door and hug her. She hugged me first. I hugged her for a second and pulled away. There’s nothing going on between her an
d me and nothing in the future. I’m with you and it will stay that way, as long as you’ll have me.”
I pressed my legs closer to his.
His eyes flared with renewed passion.
I initiated a slow kiss. He responded with a deeper, hungry kiss.
“I missed you,” he rasped.
I lowered my hand to his growing erection, “It looks like you’re not the only one who missed me.”
His eyes blazed, his breath was hot against mine.
“Baby, only you can make me feel this good,” as he jerked against my hand.
I ground against him. Teasingly, slowly setting up a rhythm.
“So, what was the final score against New York?” I asked hoarsely.
His eyes were in a blaze, his hips synced with my rhythmic, rocking motions, “24-19.”
“24, huh?” I inched him slowly inside of me.
“Yesss,” he hissed. I felt him tighten against me. His breathing was harsh, deliberate.
“What do you say,” as I guided him all the way inside. My hands clasped around his neck, “Since your team scored 24, we don’t leave my room for 24 hours?”
His answer was him kissing my shoulders, his hands massaging and lightly pinching my breasts, and his lower body penetrating all the way inside of me.
“Ahh, baby,” he groaned. In a matter of minutes, our limbs were entangled once again.
“I’ll just have to score more touchdowns,” he grinned from ear-to-ear, while sitting on my bed. Now fully clothed and freshly showered, I had the urge to push him back to bed.
My whole body was definitely sore. Zander looked utterly satisfied. I lost count after 3 times. My body was making me remember just well-used it was. I smiled at him, “Babe, I don’t think I can take it.”
He wanted to stay in for the rest of the night. I rebelled against the idea. The reason was that if we stayed in, I’d be thoroughly tempted to keep doing what we did a few hours ago. Plus, I was really craving for some burgers and fries.
I grabbed his hand and pulled him towards the door, “Come on, handsome. I gave you dessert. Now, you owe me dinner.”
Inside Burger Joint and Shakes, we talked about his trip. He didn’t like playing on the road but he relished the challenge of playing against the home team. With 2 wins in a row, his team was one to beat. I liked seeing him this way. He looked happy, content.
He asked me a few questions about the game. I gave my honest opinion, his team really worked well together and they were on top form. He smiled when I said, “You know, the quarterback for the San Francisco Mariners is smoldering.”
That earned me a couple of kisses.
I was halfway through with my strawberry shake, when I asked him about Holly.
His eyes darkened, he stopped eating his burger, and said, “Babe, we were on for like, 4 months. The relationship just fizzled. She’s a cool girl but I don’t know, I guess we just wanted different things.”
I nudged him with my eyes.
He said, “She wanted to be more serious. I guess I just wasn’t ready.”
“Did you ever wonder why she knocked on your door at such an ungodly hour?” My eyebrows were arched, irritation lined my voice.
His blue-green gaze was unreadable. “I have no idea why she knocked on my door in the first place,” he said, “I just know that I wasn’t going to let her in.”
I gave him a big grin. Yes, it didn’t really matter why Holly came. Zander had control of the situation and he wasn’t going to jeopardize what we had going because some ex-girlfriend knocked on his door. He could have easily opened it, let her in, and did something with her, without me knowing. I trusted him. This was just the reassurance that I was looking for, the confirmation that he didn’t want anything with her.
I waited to talk to him about this in person, because his eyes, told me the truth.
Chapter Fourteen
“Surprises create excitement. Always aim to be surprised.”
Sedona
Zander and I fell into a comfortable routine.
A text greeted me every morning, “Mornin’ my hot stuff.” On the mornings, when I had no clinicals, he usually stopped by my place with a steaming hot mocha, cinnamon rolls, and banana muffin from Yany’s Donuts before he went to class.
I sent him an electronic copy of my schedule so he had an idea of what I was doing. His schedule varied, plus he said he wasn’t as organized as I was so he couldn’t send me one. I didn’t understand how a person did not a schedule. How could they know what and how to go about their day? Kieran was like him so maybe guys just generally ‘went with the flow.’
Zander and I saw each other every other day on weekdays and on weekends. Whenever he slept over, he slept way past midnight but he managed to stay quiet in bed while I slept. In the beginning, it was not easy having him in my bed or me sleeping in his bed. He took up most of the space in my bed and he liked to put his arms around me. I had to recite Pi to its 30 integer to actually fall asleep the first two weeks he stayed over.
He was a spontaneous guy, full of surprises. For someone like me who liked to plan and wasn’t into surprises, it was a constant battle between him and me.
I was scheduled to tutor 2 students on a Wednesday afternoon after my Critical Medical Surgical III class. I looked at the schedule and saw unfamiliar names –Tariq and Shaun. We were already in the middle of the semester so I had become acquainted with students who came in for regular tutoring services.
Tariq and Shaun were new names. Maybe, these guys failed an exam in Physiology so they needed tutoring. Anyone could come in for tutoring. All they had to do was sign up at the Information Desk.
Tariq, the first one my list, was a giant. He was like a wrestler with his towering height and bulging biceps. When he spoke, I hinted a Canadian accent. He asked me to explain the structure and function of cell proteins.
Was this guy in some advanced class? The students that I tutored in Physiology were barely learning the names of the cell proteins. I asked him if he failed an exam and he nodded his military-cut head. He listened attentively when I showed him the formula for the cell protein and how the body systems worked according to the biochemical reactions in the presence of proteins.
His eyes would glaze multiple times and he asked weird questions like, “What is your favorite food and what types of movies do you like to watch?” I answered because I thought it would get him out of his bored look. I replied with “Japanese and action-sports hero movies.” He did not take up the 45-minute tutoring time. He politely left at 4:15 PM because he had a group study to go to.
Shaun was scheduled for 4:30 PM. He came in 5 minutes after Tariq left. He had a lazy, cool, Southern California look to him. His facial profile reminded me of Tanya’s. He was blonde while Tanya was a redhead but with their deep, emerald eyes and high cheekbones, people might think they were related. Shaun said he had trouble learning the structure of the nervous system; he needed to find ways on how to study better. I gave him some pointers on how to study and he graciously nodded. I was in the middle of explaining the function of the nervous system, when he asked a question that was so out of the blue.
“What makes you nervous?”
“Huh?” I asked, completely sidetracked by his question.
“Well, we’re talking about the nervous system,” his eyes intently focused, “So, what makes you nervous?”
Maybe he wanted to take a breather off the topic, I sighed, “Being out of my comfort zone makes me nervous.”
“Oh yeah?” His eyes encouraged me to go on.
“Yes, like being asked by a total stranger like you about what makes me nervous, actually makes me nervous” my tone, challenging.
“You’re funny,” he snickered with a laugh.
I went back to explaining the nervous system and he gave me curious glances. I was about to hand him a mini-test to evaluate what he learned, when he inquired, “Where is your favorite place?”
It was a completely inappropriate qu
estion for a tutorial. I looked at him, ‘Was this guy for real?’ He put out a very friendly demeanor. He really could be Tanya’s brother, if she had a brother. Juggling work, school, friends, and Zander was taking a toll on me. So when Shaun asked that question, tranquility swept over me, thinking of favorite place, I replied, “The beach. Where the surf and sand meet. I could stare at the waters for hours and never move. Just listening to the waves as they rush to the shore, the beautiful panorama created by the water, sky, and sand, and the stretch of miles and miles of nature at its absolute beauty….that is my favorite place.”
He stared at me as he said, “Wow.”
His voice broke into my daydream and I let out a dry cough. This day was getting stranger every minute. I was always focused when I tutored. I didn’t know why I was being asked random questions by strangers. The stranger thing was that I kept answering their questions. Before I got back to the actual anatomy topic at hand, he excused himself to catch an appointment. He thanked me for my time and left.
