The Library of Lost and Found

by Phaedra Patrick

  She strolled around her dining room and the house seemed quiet without the loud ticking sound. Making herself a strong cup of tea, she sat in the wooden chair and looked out at the bay and the lighthouse. She pictured Siegfried and Daniel together, as young men, laughing with their crew as they pushed the Pegasus out to sea. She saw them clambering aboard as the waves slapped the sides of the vessel.

  She reached into her pocket and took out the envelope Siegfried had given her. It was unsealed, and the address on the front could be for anyone. So she opened it.

  To whom it may concern

  I, bestselling author Lucinda Lovell, am pleased to give a reference for Martha Storm. I can vouch that she is a committed worker, a good person and brings enthusiasm and knowledge to her role. I can think of no better person to attain a full-time position at the library. She breathes life into it.

  If you wish to contact me for more information, please do so in writing, c/o Siegfried Frost, Sandshift Lighthouse, Sandshift Bay.

  Martha’s body flooded with warmth. Her chest radiated with heat at Siegfried’s glorious gesture. “Thank you,” she said aloud.

  She’d probably never know for certain if Lucinda Lovell was the pen name for Siegfried’s sister, Angela. Or if Angela was the face for Siegfried’s words.

  All she knew was that her father’s friend had been there for her again. And they’d be there for each other, from now on.

  She placed the reference in the same envelope as her job application and set it down on her dining table.

  * * *

  Martha had just finished her drink when she heard her front door open.

  The floorboards in the hallway creaked and she sat up to attention. She gripped her cup and waited for the person to enter.

  Lilian’s blond hair was mussy and her eyes dark underneath. She wore a cream sheepskin coat with the collar turned up. “So, you’re back, then?” she asked. Her eyes flitted around the room as she took a seat on the sofa. “Your friend at the library, with the floaty clothes and strange hair, said you’ve been staying in the lighthouse.”

  Martha nodded. “With Siegfried Frost. I needed some time out, to think things through.”

  Lilian pursed her lips, then nodded her head. “I totally get it. I need time, too, because of Paul...”

  “How are things?”

  She gave a small shrug. “Rocky, but I’m trying my best. It’ll be a shame if we can’t sort things out. We’re well suited, I think.” She gave a short laugh. “Not like Mum and Dad.”

  Their eyes met.

  “Would you like a coffee?” Martha asked.

  She half expected her sister to say that she had to dash, but Lilian nodded. “I’d love one. A cappuccino, extra frothy, if you have it?”

  “It’s kind of just normal coffee.”

  “Well, that’s fine, too.”

  Martha made their drinks and carried them back into the dining room.

  Lilian wrapped both hands around her cup and glanced around. “The house looks really different. You’ve cleared out loads of stuff.”

  “I’ve moved some into the shed, too. The house was a mess.”

  “Oh, it wasn’t that bad,” Lilian started, but then they both laughed at how unconvincing she sounded.

  “I let things get out of control,” Martha said firmly. “I need to look after myself, rather than other people.”

  “Good for you. And I’ll help with the rest of Mum and Dad’s things,” Lilian said. “We can look through them together.”

  “It’s fine. I’ll—”

  However, Lilian raised her hand. “I’d like to do it.” She reached down and fingered the fringes on the rug on the floor. “I’ve not seen this old thing for ages. You used to lie on it and write your stories. I was always really jealous of your imagination. I could never think of anything so creative.”

  Martha raised an eyebrow. “I thought you hated fairy stories. You refused to believe that Cinderella’s carriage was made from a pumpkin.”

  “I did, didn’t I?” Lilian shook her head. “I preferred the facts in the encyclopedias. Maybe it’s because I knew Dad liked us to read them. Both of us loved the funfair, though, didn’t we? We went crazy for candy floss. Do you remember when Nana bought that toffee apple and it pulled her tooth out?”

  “Yes. It was stuck in the sticky red sugar.”

  “That was gross.”

  “She still has the gap.” Martha pressed a finger against her own teeth.

  “Really?” Lilian smiled, but then it faded away. “It’s difficult to imagine what she’s like as an old lady. She was always so glamorous and used to buy us the best presents, pink plastic stuff that Dad hated.”

  “She’s not changed a bit.”

  “No?”

  Martha thought how her sister’s tone sounded hopeful. “You should meet her.”

  “Hmm.” Lilian took a sip of her coffee and gave a small nod. She cleared her throat and her eyes glistened. “I said things that I shouldn’t have to you. I’m so sorry, Martha...”

  “Zelda told me that you were there, the night of the party.”

  Lilian nodded and set her cup down. “I was stuck with all the adults because you were feeling poorly. Something was brewing all night between Nana and Dad. They’d both had a drink, and things reached boiling point. Nana announced that you weren’t Dad’s daughter to everyone. It was so awful. And then—”

  “Dad told us that Zelda died,” Martha said.

  “I’ve always questioned fairy stories, but somehow I didn’t query that. Why would he lie about such a thing?”

  Martha imagined her sister at the party, wide-eyed, innocent and scared. She leaned in towards her. “You were only eleven years old. We shouldn’t blame ourselves for any of this. We were only children. But when did you find out for sure that Zelda didn’t die in 1982?”

  Lilian sniffed. She ran a hand around the back of her neck. “I saw Nana again, three years later. She came to the house. I was in my room but I heard her. I knew her voice and sat frozen on the bed. She tried to give Mum a book, but Dad wouldn’t let her... I knew then that he’d lied to us.”

  “Did you say anything to him?”

  Lilian shook her head. “Mum begged Nana to go. She said that things were settled, and it was all too late for her to come back.”

  Martha reached out and lightly touched her sister’s arm. “You’ve carried a huge weight, for all these years...”

  Lilian nodded. “I tried to shut it all away in my head. I never told anyone what happened. But then you found that old fairy tale book, with that date in it. I warned you to leave it alone. I was worried what you might uncover, what should be left buried...”

  “But then I wouldn’t have found Zelda again.”

  The two sisters reached out and clumsily found each other’s hands. They entwined fingers for the briefest moment before letting go again.

  “Do you know who my real father was?” Martha asked.

  “As far as I’m concerned, it was Thomas,” Lilian said fiercely. “And we’re sisters, whatever happened. I need to tell Paul what I saw and overheard that night, too. Then he might understand what I’ve lived with, and why I bottle things up so much. I’m going to ask him to stay. I owe Will and Rose a break, too. They’re great kids.”

  “They can stay here anytime, now there’s room.”

  “Thank you.” Lilian paused for a few seconds. She met Martha’s gaze. “And I’ve decided I’d like to see Zelda again. She’s family, no matter what happened.”

  “We should do it soon. Things don’t sound good for her—” Martha halted her words, finding them too difficult to find. She cleared her throat. “One of her dying wishes was to read to a big crowd, at the football ground.”

  “She wanted to do that?”

  “Yes, and to see one more Christ
mas. Though it seems unlikely.”

  “That sounds like our nana, thinking about Christmas at the beginning of March,” Lilian said. She stood up and picked up her bag. “Please think about the best way for me to meet her. I’m going to the library now, to pick up my Philippa Gregory. It’s finally arrived in stock. Do you want to join me?”

  The thought of going to the library with her sister appealed, but Martha shook her head. “I’d like to take a little time for myself here first. Will you give something to Suki for me, though? It’s really important.” She passed her completed application form and reference to her sister.

  “I’ll do it now.”

  Martha waved Lilian off and went back inside the house. She found an empty cardboard box and placed the cuckoo clock inside it. She folded down the flaps and felt a strong urge to pull her family back together again.

  And she had the perfect idea for how to do it.

  37

  Christmas Tree

  Two days later

  Martha found a new notepad among a selection Betty stored in a kitchen cupboard. She made a new task list and it featured things she wanted to do, that were important to her, rather than things other people wanted.

  It was the start of a new plan of action, to reunite her family.

  There were deep conversations to be had and history to unravel but, for today at least, she wanted it to be a celebration.

  Her nana said her dying wish was to see another Christmas and Martha wanted to make sure it happened.

  Her dining room now twinkled with fairy lights, and she’d set up a large Christmas tree next to the Chinese dragon’s head. She’d bought the supermarket’s finest sherry and napkins edged with gold. Thirty-six small mince pies sat baking in the oven, and the air smelled of spices and warm orange peel. Holding her hand to her forehead as a visor, she peered at them through the glass door. The lids were turning a golden brown, and the turkey was cooking nicely in the bottom oven.

  Will and Rose were setting the dining table with gold candlesticks and place mats. Will wore a sweater featuring a reindeer with a light-up red nose. He had created a list of carols to play on his phone. Rose added the final touches to a center table display she’d made using a few shiny baubles and cotton wool for snow.

  Lilian pushed her way into the room, her arms full of brightly wrapped presents. She bent down and arranged them under the tree. “Paul can’t join us, because of work,” she said. “But he sends his love.”

  “Is everything okay between you?” Martha asked.

  Her sister gave a small smile. “Only time will tell. I talked to him about what happened in our family, and how it affected me. I tried to tell him what he means to me. I’m not good at that kind of thing, so I hope it works.”

  “Is one of those presents mine, Mum?” Will sidled up to her. He rested his cheek on her shoulder. “What’s Santa brought me?”

  “You’ll have to wait and see.” Lilian pecked him on his cheek.

  “What time will Nana be here?” Rose asked as she helped Martha to slide the mince pies onto a cooling tray when they came out of the oven.

  “Soon. It sounds strange to hear you call her that. Nana is my and Lilian’s name for her.”

  “Well, Great-Nana sounds a bit weird.”

  Martha agreed that it did.

  * * *

  An hour later the doorbell rang. Martha, Lilian, Will and Rose stood to attention in the kitchen. The food was all almost ready to serve. “Shhh,” Martha said. “Our guests are here. Everyone stay quiet.” She hurried to the door and opened it.

  Owen stood outside, alongside Gina and Zelda. “I’ve picked these ladies up, so they can both enjoy a few sherries,” he said.

  “Thank you.” Martha smiled at him.

  “My pleasure.” He entered the hallway and gave her a kiss on both cheeks. When she inhaled, his jacket smelled of ink and amber.

  As she pulled away she spotted a blue mark on his face. “You have a smudge on your cheek,” she said.

  “Oh. I don’t have a mirror. Just get it for me, will you?”

  Martha took a tissue from her pocket. She dabbed at his cheek and rubbed it away. When she finished he briefly placed his hand on the back of hers. “Thanks.” He smiled.

  She nodded in reply, her own cheeks flushing.

  Gina helped Zelda inside the house. She wasn’t using her wheelchair today.

  “Something smells good.” Zelda sniffed as she took off her coat and handed it to Martha. She smiled but her eyes were pink and puffy, and her cheeks were drawn.

  Martha wondered if she had been replaying things through her mind, too, over the last few days. “Thank you,” she said.

  “If it wasn’t March, I’d swear it was Christmas dinner.”

  Martha smiled. She placed Zelda’s and Gina’s coats in the pantry. Placing her hand on the dining room door handle, she rested it there. “You said you wanted to see another Christmas.”

  Zelda swallowed hard. She gave the slightest nod of her head. “I’m not a betting woman, but I’d say it’s unlikely.”

  “Well.” Martha took a deep breath. “We decided to bring it forward.”

  Zelda blinked. She frowned and looked at Gina.

  Gina nodded in reply.

  Martha had spoken to her on the phone the day before to confide and discuss her plan, and Gina had been an essential part of bringing it to life.

  “We decided?” Zelda questioned.

  “Lilian is here. And Will and Rose. We’d like to spend a special day with you.”

  A tear rolled down Zelda’s face. She wiped at it but her cheek still glistened. “Really?” she said, her eyes shining. “After everything that’s happened?”

  Martha reached out and took hold of her hand.

  “I thought you might have asked me here to tell me you never want to see me again.” She hung her head.

  “That would never happen.”

  Zelda let out a silent sob. Her forehead crumpled. “This is all I ever wanted, to be welcomed back home. To be here with you, again.”

  “I want it, too. We all do.”

  Zelda didn’t move. “I’m so sorry, Martha,” she said solemnly. “For everything. I made a mess of things but I never meant to hurt you, or Betty or Lilian. I’ve tortured myself for years. I could have seen the two of you grow up. I could have been part of your lives...and Betty’s. My own darling daughter... I lost her...” She broke down and buried her head under Gina’s chin.

  Martha placed a hand on her shoulder and gently caressed it. She passed her an aloe vera–enriched tissue and tried not to cry, too. “That’s all in the past now,” she soothed. “We can spend what time we have together, wishing we’d done things differently. Or we can use it wisely.”

  Zelda nodded. She wiped her eyes, sniffed and stood a little taller. She touched the ends of Martha’s hair. “Time is so precious.”

  Martha choked back a tear. She jutted out her chin. “Yes, it is. So let’s try and make it glorious.” She took a deep breath to compose herself and let it go again. “Now, we’re all going to have a family dinner together. We’re not going to discuss the past. There will be no secrets and no tension and we’re all going to have a good time.”

  “But I—” Zelda started.

  “No ifs and no buts.” Martha wrapped her arms around her and held her tight. She relished the warmth of her nana’s soft cheek against her own. “It’s Christmas, Nana. Everything is forgotten and forgiven on Christmas Day. Other things will wait. Now, let’s go and open the presents under the tree, before I serve dinner...”

  * * *

  Zelda sat in the wooden chair and Gina stood by her side. Will and Rose lay on their stomachs on the rug. Martha and Lilian sat on the leather sofa and Owen appointed himself the hander-outer of presents. He read each person’s name in turn and they opened t
heir gift. Each one was a book.

  Lilian and Martha had chosen them together, the day before, from Chamberlain’s, and Lilian wrapped them in silver paper with bows and tags.

  Will said, “Cool. Thanks,” when he unwrapped The Maze Runner trilogy.

  Rose stroked the cover of How to Train Your Dragon lovingly. “I’ve always wanted to read this,” she said.

  Martha had bought Lilian The Little Dictionary of Fashion by Christian Dior (when she wasn’t looking) and, for Gina, a book on Scandinavian architecture.

  Owen presented Martha with a limited-edition copy of Alice in Wonderland.

  For Owen, Martha had asked Gina to call in and see Rita at Monkey Puzzle Books, to pick up a copy of The Little Paris Bookshop.

  Zelda adored her copy of Good Night Stories for Rebel Girls.

  * * *

  They ate dinner together sitting around the dining table. As Martha passed the bowl of carrots to Lilian, an image popped into her head of the table piled high with books, and Horatio’s potted plants and fish. For the last five years, she had sat down alone to eat, but now she had her family, as well as Gina and Owen. She looked down at her plate and smiled at the sight of the delicious turkey, vegetables and gravy, rather than cheese on toast.

  Owen touched her sleeve. “Are you okay?” he asked.

  Martha glanced at her sister and nana talking to each other, at her gorgeous niece and nephew who were chatting about their books. She smiled at the white-haired lady who had supported Zelda for so many years, and finally back at Owen, the kind man who helped to kick-start her future by leaving a small book for her at the library.

  “Things are good,” she said. “How can I thank you enough for all you’ve done?”

  He broke into a smile. “You did most of it. And I’ve told you before. Coffee and cake are always welcome.”

  Zelda made everyone laugh with her stories about life with Gina in North Carolina, and Lilian boasted about her designer garden. Owen recounted stories about the eclectic range of people who visited his bookstore, and Martha loved the buzz of the conversation around her. The air was full of fun and laughter, and she couldn’t feel anything sticky and invisible at all.