Dying to Love (An FBI Romance Thriller Book 18)

by Morgan Kelley

  He could take them there, while patrolling, and then kill them. He was looking better and better as a suspect.

  “We’ll hit him up first tomorrow. He’ll likely be off for the weekend, and I want to get a jump on him. Out of the two men, he has the better logistics to be our killer. A contractor doesn’t fit, but a security guard with access to buildings at night? Yeah, that works for me.”

  “Okay, boss.”

  She stood. “I think we should cut out. I know the sun is still up, but our killer is going to hit again tonight. I can feel it. I won’t be any good to this team in this state of exhaustion.”

  Ethan was glad she had figured this out on her own. It was about damn time.

  “Get some rest, boss,” they said, as she headed toward the door. Ethan grabbed her gear, and she let Callen lead her out.

  Once outside, in the parking lot, she climbed into the back.

  “Who do you want to cuddle with?” Callen asked.

  “Ethan,” she muttered.

  He tossed his brother the keys and hopped into the back with her. Immediately, Elizabeth crawled into his lap.

  Blackhawk held her in his arms.

  “Close your eyes, baby. I have you,” he whispered, leaving kisses all across her freckled and bruised face.

  Slowly, lulled by the rhythmic driving, she fell asleep.

  Ethan knew she was out because her hand dropped.

  “Baby?” he asked.

  There was no response.

  Good.

  “Callen?” he asked.

  “Yeah?” he said, navigating the traffic.

  “Do you think there was something more between Elizabeth and Chris than they’ve let on?” he asked.

  Callen glanced up in the rearview mirror.

  “Why do you ask that?” he asked, knowing this was the worst possible timing on his brother’s behalf.

  Was he shocked?

  No.

  Ethan was super smart, and if he was going to follow a trail of breadcrumbs, it would be right about now. Elizabeth had given him enough to pique his interest.

  His brother was doing what he did best.

  Blackhawk was off balance and Callen could see it.

  “My gut is saying something is off. Before, I’ve never noticed it. I never really put much stock in it, but as of late, things aren’t adding up.”

  “Like?” Whitefox asked.

  Callen had to try to protect their wife on this one. While he didn’t advocate lying to a spouse, he knew his brother.

  This was going to be a blow up.

  For all parties concerned, they needed to break this to him when he was calm, not working a case, and in a far better state of mind.

  Ethan, if anything, was predictable.

  He ran his hands through his raven black hair. “Have you ever noticed how he always calls her ‘honey’?”

  It was time for damage control.

  “Yeah, well, Dad calls her sweetheart. I think it’s more a term of affection than anything to read into, Ethan. I’ve heard Gabe call her honey, too, come to think of it.”

  Yeah, he had too.

  “You think?”

  “Yeah. When he starts calling her sexy kitten, be afraid,” he said, trying to tease.

  Ethan didn’t laugh.

  This was bad.

  “What about the looks they share?”

  Callen knew this was escalating.

  “Ethan, they have a friendship that spans almost two decades. What they’ve lived through, seen, and experienced is going to be significant in how they behave around each other. Look at us. We don’t have sex with each other, but we’ve given each other the ‘look’ and words were never needed. Maybe it’s a sibling thing.”

  Yeah, maybe his brother was right.

  “What about when she gets hurt, and he’s always seeing her naked?”

  “He’s a doctor.”

  “No, I mean he’s not ogling her. Any normal man would sneak a peek. He never does. In the six years I’ve known him, he’s done a rape kit, seen her topless, now bottomless, and he’s not even leered once.”

  This was getting harder.

  Ethan was on the right trail, just at the wrong time.

  How was he supposed to handle this? Anything Callen said would come out wrong. The reason Chris didn’t leer now was because he’d seen it all up close and personal.

  Yeah, it was best to say nothing.

  “I think you’re overthinking this, bro. Really. Besides, what happened in our past is our past, and all that matters is our present.”

  “I guess. I may have over exaggerated the last relationship I was in before I met Elizabeth.”

  Callen glanced into the mirror again. “What do you mean by that?”

  “Melinda and I had an on again, off again relationship for a while.”

  This was news to Callen. “What does that mean?”

  “I met her flying out to mediate in Damascus. You know…the case where we were reunited.”

  Callen’s eyes went big. “Bro, that was almost thirteen years before you met Elizabeth. You were with her that long?”

  What astounded Callen was that he was now in the middle of this. He was protecting Elizabeth’s secret, and now carrying Ethan’s.

  Shit.

  “No, I didn’t date her then. She called me, left a message, and I didn’t delete it. I called her a year later or maybe it was two.”

  “So ten years?”

  “Yeah. I think that first year we hooked up once. Then the second year three times. She was busy, I was busy, but we always managed to cross paths.”

  “Maybe you should tell Elizabeth. The past is the past, and she will understand.”

  He laughed. “I wouldn’t if I were in her shoes. I told her we dated a year before I found her. It wasn’t a lie, but the years before that, she was the booty call, and I was hers.”

  Jesus.

  This was a mess.

  “Well, we all have skeletons in the closet. When she finds out, she’s not going to lose it. I know Elizabeth. She loves you. She’ll just be grateful you found her, and vice versa.”

  He thought about it.

  “Yeah, maybe you’re right. If I have to tell her, I will. I’m not ready yet. I know if it was me, I’d feel betrayed and angry. I don’t know how willing I’d be to forgive her. We’re married, and lies are proof a marriage is falling apart.”

  Well, that was a bad sign.

  They were both lying.

  Callen shook his head at the irony of it all. Ethan was carrying basically the same secret Elizabeth was, but their past significant others were different.

  Ethan’s was out in the world doing whatever.

  Elizabeth’s was right under Ethan’s nose doing nothing.

  Yeah, this was going to explode around them. The shit was going to hit the fan, and there was no doubt who was going to walk away covered.

  And it sucked.

  * * * B l a c k h a w k - W h i t e f o x * * *

  Saturday Evening

  Ten P.M

  When she woke, there was only one husband in bed with her. Callen was suspiciously missing. His warm body being gone actually woke her, since she had copious amounts of space on the one side of the bed.

  Rolling over in the darkness of her room, she could see Ethan watching her. The moonlight was coming from their bedroom window.

  “Hey.”

  He smiled. “How are you feeling?” he asked.

  “I’m better. A nap helped. I hope I can go back to sleep. Where’s Callen?”

  “Bethe had a bad dream, and she woke up Charlie, who in turn woke up Christopher Anthony. We both got up to calm them down. I made it back to bed. I think Callen is in teething hell.”

  “I should go,” she said, trying to sit up.

  He pulled her back down. “We handled it. You need to stay in bed, relax, and just heal.”

  “I don’t know if I can get back to bed,” she admitted. “You know how I am.”


  It was true.

  Once Elizabeth was up, she was up. It was why they handled the baby feedings most of the time when the kids would wake up. He and Callen could sleep standing up in the middle of a warzone.

  “Stay with me,” he said, moving closer. “If you’re not in pain, I may have a way to lull you back to sleep.”

  She placed her hand on his cheek. “What’s bothering you, handsome? Your eyes are troubled.”

  He didn’t want to go there.

  Later, when she wasn’t buried under all of this stress, he’d ask her about his fears.

  His worries.

  His rising suspicions.

  Now, he simply wanted to hold her in his arms and make love to his wife.

  “I’m just tired,” he offered. “Carrying both director jobs is tough.”

  She bet it was.

  “I may have a way to lull you back to sleep,” she offered, knowing that he was likely sleepless too.

  “Are you hurting?”

  “Aching.”

  He stared at her.

  “For your touch, Ethan. I always crave it. Put your hands on me,” she whispered.

  Well, he could do that and so much more.

  His mouth found hers, and he teased her. Slowly, Ethan could feel her heating up beneath him.

  “I need you, Elizabeth,” he said softly. “I always need you in my life. Never leave me.”

  “I won’t.”

  She smiled up at him, knowing exactly how he was feeling. Despite the pain, the aches, and the hurt, he always brought her back to center.

  Ethan was her rock.

  “I love you, Ethan Blackhawk. I love you more than my own life.”

  He felt the same. In fact, he’d never wanted anyone more in his entire life. Before her, there was nothing.

  She was his beginning.

  “Make love to me, Ethan,” she whispered, as he helped her disrobe, by tugging off her pajama shirt.

  Ethan tossed it over his shoulder and grinned wickedly.

  “You’re overdressed,” she admitted, as he stood staring down at her in the pale moonlight. She could see the love in his eyes. It was beautiful.

  “I love looking at you. Even all beat up, you’re amazing,” he admitted. She was lean and strong and had long lines that dipped into gentle curves brought on by the birth of their tribe.

  She sighed as he ran his fingers down her flesh.

  Taking that opportunity to strip her, he slipped her panties down her thighs. As he leaned over her, his mouth left kisses in the wake of the satin.

  The sight of her completely naked was making it damn hard to go slow. Only, she needed that love and affection.

  Tonight, she needed tender.

  When he stood in front of her, Elizabeth slid her hands across his chest, admiring the tattoo she loved with all her heart.

  “My raven,” she whispered.

  “It will always be yours, just like you’re my raven,” he offered. “We were meant to be a pair.”

  Elizabeth didn’t disagree.

  In fact, she had to admit she was enjoying the curves and bulges of every muscle on his body. It called to her. Yes, they were definitely a pair. Her fingers stopped at the tie at his waist. With a tug, she set the pajama bottoms free.

  They dropped.

  Ethan sprung into her hand, and he moaned when she stroked him.

  Her fingers explored, touched, and discovered all the pleasure he was offering her. He was her sexy playground, and she was being invited to play.

  “More,” he begged.

  There was a surge of excitement as Elizabeth pulled him down to place cool kisses across his overheating flesh. They were tangled together, and it was amazing.

  “Elizabeth,” he whispered, enjoying her wanton exploration of his body. Her mouth was leaving heated open-mouthed kisses across his shoulder, as his erection was trapped between them.

  God!

  Going slow was so damn hard.

  “I need you,” she admitted, wrapping her long legs around his hips. The slide of skin against skin was enticing.

  “I want to go slow,” he admitted.

  She wanted that too. She wanted to think back and remember this moment.

  It was rare they could steal them together.

  This was the center.

  They’d created this world.

  Elizabeth could feel him holding back. Ethan was painfully erect as he waited for her to make a move.

  Kisses wouldn’t be enough.

  He needed her to take off the edge.

  “I need your mouth on me, baby. I need to cum so badly. I want to last for as long as you need.”

  She knew how hard it was for him to ask. Ethan wasn’t one to be vocal during sex, unless it was moans of pleasure.

  Callen was the one who would direct. She wanted Ethan to be more free in bed, and this was huge for their relationship.

  “Stand up for me, Ethan,” she whispered, and immediately, he moved, giving her exactly what she wanted. By sitting on the edge of the bed, she was perched at eye level with what was waiting for her.

  Elizabeth took the moment to worship his body, first with her fingers and palm.

  “Baby,” he hissed, as she stroked him. The way he fought his hips from moving stole her breath.

  This was her soulmate.

  One of them…

  “You feel amazing, Ethan,” she offered, taking in how perfect he felt against her palm. When she enclosed her fingers around him, tightening her grip, he shook.

  “Elizabeth,” he begged, as she ran her hand up and down the length of him. This was maddening. He wanted her mouth on him in the worst way.

  She grinned wickedly in the shadows of their room. “I love this part,” she admitted. Without any more warning, she took him in her mouth.

  “Oh God!” he moaned, as she began blowing him. Elizabeth’s teeth scraped, teasing him to the point he wanted to grab her hair, bury his dick in her throat, and cum until he couldn't cum anymore.

  Only he wouldn’t.

  This was about control.

  His whole body came alive as he finally had the strength to open his eyes. The combination of watching and feeling her oral assault was pushing him closer to the edge.

  He wanted this more than anything in the world.

  “Baby,” he gasped when she tormented him with the tip of her tongue. It flickered over the head of his erection, teasing him to the point of no return.

  She sucked him hard.

  “I don’t know how much more I can take,” he begged, only to have her be even wickeder.

  Yeah, he was cumming and cumming soon.

  Elizabeth loved hearing her husband’s moans. It pushed her on as she craved his orgasm.

  There was nothing sexier than Ethan in the throes of losing control. It was exciting, hot, and it made her wet.

  Gone were the aches and pains.

  She had a new mission.

  Elizabeth wanted to torment her husband.

  She sucked, stroked, and teased, but Ethan held on. He didn’t know how, since she was about near swallowing him whole. His wife had some truly wicked oral skills, and here was his proof.

  When she massaged his balls, he was done.

  Ethan exploded with a guttural shout. Her name was on his lips, as her hands were braced on his thighs.

  She steadied him as she swallowed him.

  When he popped free of her mouth, his midnight blue eyes finally opened.

  “I love you.”

  She smiled. “Now make love to me. I wish it could be all night long, but I’ll take whatever I can get.”

  He wished it could be too.

  Damn this killer.

  Damn life stealing their time.

  Ethan made a mental note for them to take some time to reconnect when this was done.

  In bed.

  For hours.

  “Take me, Ethan. I need to feel you in me,” she pleaded, as he scooped her up and gently rested her on the
ir bed. When he joined her, Ethan ran his lips over her shoulder.

  “I need to taste you.”

  She didn’t hesitate to open for him.

  “Just rest and enjoy the ride. I’m dying to devour you. It’s going to be so hard not to just take you. This comes first.”

  He slid down her body, leaving kisses across her chest, abdomen, and the cut on her thigh.

  Elizabeth reveled in the feel of his hands, lips, and body gliding across hers. It teased, excited, and made her crazy all at once.

  When Ethan flicked his tongue over her swollen clit, she moaned and arched into him. “Yes!”

  He teased her.

  He tormented her.

  Ethan drove her to the edge and wouldn’t let her stop. He wanted the pleasure to wash away the pain her body was feeling.

  He needed to give her this.

  When she shouted his name and came, he forced himself to stop until she could refocus.

  This wasn’t about how many times he could make her cum. It was about making her feel what was living in both of them.

  Forcing himself to pull away from her swollen clitoris was hard but he found her breasts. He delicately caressed one with his hand, and then teased it with the tip of his tongue.

  She gasped.

  “We’re not done,” he admitted. Ethan loved that his wife responded to him like no woman he’d ever been with before. Her hands slid into his hair, enjoying the silkiness, and his name tumbled from her lips.

  “Oh, Ethan.”

  It was more than enough.

  She was more than enough. His brother was wrong. Their pasts did matter. He couldn’t imagine her doing this with anyone but them.

  He was a jealous man.

  Blackhawk admitted it.

  She was his from the second she was created in her mother’s womb, and he would never be able to share her past, present, or future with anyone but Callen.

  “You feel amazing,” Ethan admitted, as he continued to slide his hand lower until he knew she was ready for another orgasm. As he was exploring, she gasped.

  “Ethan! Please!”

  He grinned wickedly as he leaned down to tease her clit again with his tongue. He was offering her as much pleasure as he could possibly give her.

  “Ethan, please!” she begged, but he continued to torture her with his tongue, making slow lazy circles.