As Tessa spoke to several of the other women who also welcomed her warmly, she searched the room, hoping her lack of attention wasn’t being noticed. Sabrina wasn’t there. Making a spur of the moment decision, Tessa excused herself and hurried out. Sabrina was in the parking area, unlocking the door to her blue Porsche.
Clenching her fists, Tessa steeled herself. Lord, I’m not sure why I’m doing this, but please be with me. She called out to Sabrina. “Sabrina, I didn’t know you lived in New Farm.” Tessa bit her lip as she stopped in front of her. What a stupid thing to say.
Sabrina didn’t look up. Instead, she opened her car door and tossed her purse inside before turning around. She flicked her long dark hair over her shoulder. Her black jeans fitted a little too snuggly, and her white button-up shirt accentuated the roll of fat bulging over the waist band and her more than ample chest. Her cold grey eyes bored into Tessa’s. “What do you want, Tessa?”
Tessa hesitated a moment. What did she want? Did she really want to find out about Michael? Wouldn’t that be opening a can of worms? But yes, if she was honest, she did want to know. She’d loved him, after all. And she still cared. She took a deep breath. “Just wondering how Michael is.”
“You’d know if you hadn’t left him.” Sabrina arched her eyebrows and planted her hand on her hip.
Tessa gritted her teeth and sighed. “You know, Sabrina, there’s no need to keep acting this way. It isn’t right for you to keep blaming me for Michael’s problems. I did everything I could to help him, but he wasn’t prepared to take any responsibility for his actions or do anything to help himself. In the end I had no choice. You know that.”
“Really? Do I?” Sabrina pursed her lips. “You ran away when Michael needed you the most instead of standing by him and helping him. You left him to struggle on his own.” Sabrina stepped closer, pointing her finger at Tessa. Tessa drew back to get away from her, but Sabrina moved with her.
“You’re a runner, Tessa Scott Williams. Whenever things get hard, you run away from them instead of working through them. And you’re also stuck up, selfish, and you care for no one but yourself.” Sabrina’s nostrils flared as she held Tessa’s gaze for a moment before climbing into her car and slamming the door behind her.
“How dare you—” Tessa blurted hotly but Sabrina’s engine rumbled to a start, drowning her words.
“He’s still in rehab, if you’re interested,” Sabrina called out the window as she sped off, sending a spray of gravel into the air as she accelerated.
Tessa breathed heavily as she stared at the car disappearing into the distance. Her hands shook and her head pounded. How dare Sabrina yell at her like that and call her those names! She had a mind to tell Ben they should find another church.
All the way home, Sabrina’s words played over and over in Tessa’s mind, but by the time she reached home, she’d calmed down somewhat and was already having second thoughts. Was Sabrina right? Had she done the wrong thing by leaving Michael? Was she really a runner? Could she have helped him more if she’d tried harder and stayed longer?
Parked in the darkened carport, Tessa rested her elbow on the car door, placing her head in her hand as she blinked back tears. “God, I love Ben, you know that. I believe you brought us together and mean for us to be together forever, but there’s no denying I used to love Michael and I do care about what’s happened to him.” She gulped as a pang of guilt hit her. “I’m not sure what to do. If I did do something wrong, I’d like to make it right, somehow. Lord, please guide me.” She sat straighter. “But God, about Sabrina—I have no idea how to pray for her. Such a rude, spiteful person. I don’t know how she calls herself a Christian.” Tessa drew in a deep breath. “I’ll have to pray for her another time, sorry, God.” She climbed out the car and took a steadying breath before entering the house.
Chapter 12
Late the following afternoon as Tessa was in her study completing some supply forms for the vet clinic, Jayden knocked on her half-opened home office door.
“Is it okay if I run Bindy and Sparky down to the park?”
Tessa turned around and smiled at him. It was so good to see him happy. “Yes, that’s fine, Jayden, but don’t stay out long. I heard thunder a while ago and it could rain. I don’t want you to get caught in it.”
The phone ringing in the kitchen drowned out her last words. Tessa rose to get it, but Jayden waved for her not to bother. “I’ll answer it.”
Tessa nodded her appreciation. She could do without the distraction. She turned her attention back to the forms but snatches of Jayden’s low voice floated into her office. She couldn’t distinctly hear what he was saying, but he was on the phone for a long time. Tessa assumed it must be one of his friends. Sometime later, the back door slid open and Jayden left with the dogs.
Ping! Tessa’s computer gave a short, high-pitched ding. A new email. She ignored it for a while, but eventually it got the better of her. She clicked on her email account. Not one, but three new emails. The first message was from Harrison asking if she’d talked with Fran yet about the pay raises she’d mentioned she was considering since the clinic was much busier than expected and the staff were run off their feet. She chewed on her lip. No, she hadn’t done that yet but needed to. She’d meant to consult with Fran about it earlier in the week, but it had slipped her mind. She made a note to herself to call Fran first thing in the morning to discuss the matter.
The second email message was from Margaret Smith welcoming Tessa to the women’s Bible study group at Fellowship Bible Church. ‘It’s been quite a while since we’ve had a new member, and I’d love to get to know you better. If you’re free on Saturday, would you join me for lunch at my place? All my children are grown and have left the nest, and my husband will be away for the weekend, so I’d appreciate the company. Let me know!’
Tessa quickly typed back a response saying she didn’t have anything planned and would be glad to join her for lunch.
Tessa’s eyes widened at the last email message. It was from Michael. She read the name twice to make sure she hadn’t made a mistake. Her heart pounded as she hovered over the message. Should she open it? How did he know her email address? She looked again. He’d sent it to her old address. Had Sabrina told him about their Bible study run in? Too coincidental if she hadn’t. Tessa considered ignoring it or even deleting it, but as she hovered over the delete button, at the last minute she clicked to open it. It was only an email after all.
‘Hello Tessa,
It’s been a while since we talked, a real long while, but when Sabrina told me you were asking about me, I had to contact you. I felt sure you’d have forgotten all about me, so I was glad to hear you hadn’t. I’ve missed you, Tessa, more than words can express. Last time we were together I was a mess and I treated you badly, but I’ve cleaned my life up and sorted my problems. I finally did what you said and got help and have been in a rehab centre here in Sydney for the past six months. I should have done it much earlier, then maybe you wouldn’t have left me. What a stupid person I was. Whatever the case, I feel the best I’ve felt since the accident.
The people here at the centre are fantastic. Most of them are Christians, and a few weeks ago I started attending chapel services and asked Jesus back into my heart. I’m so happy, Tess, and am filled with such peace.
There are so many things I want to talk with you about, and I’d really like to see you again. I guess you’ve moved on, and after all I put you through, I don’t expect you to readily invite me back into your life, but I’m hoping we could put the past behind us and at least try being friends again. I’ll be checking out of rehab in two weeks and I plan on staying with Sabrina for a week or so. Maybe we can meet then. Looking forward to seeing you.
Yours,
Michael’
Tessa sat in front of the computer, re-reading the message several times. Her pulse was racing but she wasn’t aware of it. It was too much to take in. Michael was better, and he’d recommitted his life to Jes
us—the two things she’d prayed so long and hard for after he’d got hooked on those drugs. Such wonderful news she could hardly believe it. Thank you God. Thank you so much. Tessa sighed contentedly and leaned back in her chair.
It would be wonderful to see him again, to clear the air between them. After all the years they’d been together, to have it end like it did had left a heaviness in Tessa’s heart. They’d been the perfect couple. He was the college sports hero, the boy every girl wanted to date, but she was the one who’d caught his attention, and he chose her, Tessa Scott, to be his girl. And they’d been inseparable for years.
Even when she continued at University after he dropped out, “I need a break from studying,” he’d said after doing just one year, they’d still made it work. He’d massage her feet while she struggled with assignments, and he’d surprise her with impromptu outings and romantic gifts. One night when she’d been sitting at home with Stephanie, cramming for an exam, he’d dropped by and put a blindfold on her and whisked her away in his car. She’d protested. “I need to study, Michael,” she’d said as he led her out, but she giggled the whole way until he took the blindfold off and she found herself at the top of Mt Coot-tha, looking out at the twinkling lights of the city below. He’d packed a midnight feast, and Tessa laughed with him as they devoured chocolate and ice-cream and drank cold pop.
But then he had that accident…
Tessa bolted upright in her seat. Something about his email wasn’t right. She read it again. Then it dawned on her. She sucked in a breath and her hand flew to her chest. Sabrina hasn’t told him I’m married!
That’d be right. Sabrina loved stirring things up. But why wouldn’t she have told him? Would Michael be hoping they could be more than friends? Probably. She would have to set him right. Tell him she was married and that it was too late. They could never be more than friends. Hopefully that news wouldn’t cause a relapse.
She was just about to type a reply when she heard the key turn in the front door. She clicked out of the message and closed the lid of the computer before stepping into the hallway. Ben stood in the entrance, soaked from head to foot. His short brown hair bristled with water, and droplets fell from his nose.
“Ben—you’re drenched!” Tessa grabbed a towel from the hall closet and handed it to him.
Ben dried his hair and face and peeled off his wet clothes, leaving a puddle of water on the floor. “I should have taken an umbrella to work. It started just after I got off the bus and I had to make a dash for it.” He sounded breathless as he balanced on one foot and took a sodden sock off the other.
“You should have called me, Ben, I would have picked you up. Here, pass me your wet clothes.”
Tessa took all his wet things and headed towards the laundry.
“Where’s Jayden, Tessa?”
Tessa hit her head with her hand. How could she have forgotten about Jayden? He and the dogs were out in this. Michael’s email had made her forget everything else.
“Tess?” Ben stood on one foot drying the other.
“He went to the park. I’ll go find him.” She threw Ben’s wet clothes into the tub and grabbed her keys before heading out the door, but just as she was unlocking the car, Jayden turned up, soaking wet and out of breath, carrying Sparky.
“Sorry Tessa. I would’ve been back earlier, but Sparky got into a fight at the dog park.”
“A fight?” Tessa’s heart pounded. “Is he all right? I hope he didn’t start it.”
“No, it was the other dog. And I think he’s okay. He’s just got some blood dripping from his ear.”
“Let me take a look.” Jayden placed Sparky on the ground and Tessa bent over him. Blood wasn’t just dripping from his ear, it oozed. He whimpered as Tessa inspected the damage.
“You’re a lucky boy, Sparky, it’s just a small tear. But you shouldn’t have got yourself into a fight.” She gently picked him up and carried him to the outdoor wash tub. Jayden followed with Bindy close behind.
As she was applying ointment and a butterfly clip to Sparky’s injured ear, Tessa remembered the phone call Jayden had taken before leaving. “Who was it who called earlier, Jayden? You seemed to be having a good chat.”
Jayden froze momentarily before shrugging. “Just some lady. She had the wrong number but wanted to talk for some reason.”
“That’s odd.” Tessa drew her eyebrows together and studied his face. Was he hiding something?
Shortly after, once Ben, Jayden and the dogs were dried and clean, and all the puddles had been wiped off the floor, Tessa turned her attention to dinner. Ben offered to help.
“I bought a cooked chicken at the supermarket on my way home, so we’re just having that and some chips and salad. Maybe you could cut the chicken?” Tessa placed the chicken on front of Ben on a cutting board.
“Sure, no problem.” While Ben dissected the chicken, Tessa prepared the salad, but her mind wasn’t on lettuce and tomatoes. She couldn’t shrug off the message sitting on her computer.
“Is something the matter, Tess? You seem a little distracted. You haven’t been having job troubles again, have you?” Ben looked up from the chicken and leaned against the kitchen bench.
Tessa continued cutting vegetables. “No, everything’s fine. I just have to catch up on some order forms tonight.” Should I tell him about the email?
“Something’s bothering you, Tess. I can tell.” Ben put down his knife and stepped behind her, placing his hands lightly on her shoulders, and started gently massaging them.
Tessa gulped. Why was it so hard to tell Ben about Michael’s email? Was it because deep down she knew Ben wouldn’t be happy about Michael wanting to see her? But why should he be unhappy? She had nothing to hide. She’d told Ben all about her relationship with Michael, and he’d been fine with it, so why was she now feeling anxious?
“Tessa?” Ben stopped massaging and stepped closer. The familiar fragrance of Ben’s cologne tickled her senses. Surely he’ll be okay with it. I should tell him.
“Yes, there is something.” Tessa continued slicing the tomatoes, but her hands trembled. Ben’s breath was warm on her neck. She inhaled slowly. “Michael contacted me today.” She continued working on the vegetables but held her breath as she waited for Ben’s response. He didn’t say anything but his hands tensed on her shoulders.
Tessa reached for the salad dressing. “He’s apparently sorted himself out and has recommitted his life to Christ.” She was talking too fast. “He’ll be here in Brisbane in a couple of weeks’ time.”
Silence filled the air. Tessa wasn’t game to move. Why was Michael contacting her turning into such a big problem?
“What’s that got to do with us, Tessa?” Ben’s voice was controlled and steady, but she could tell he wasn’t happy.
Tessa turned around slowly and fixed her eyes on his. “He wants to see me.”
Ben’s eyes darkened. “Does he know you’re married?”
“I don’t think so.” Tessa’s voice trembled. “He’s been in rehab for the past six months.”
For a long moment they stood, eyes locked. Tessa’s heart pounded in her chest. She didn’t like the way Ben was looking at her, as if he didn’t trust her.
“I don’t see there’s any need for that, Tessa.”
Tessa’s breathing quickened and she clenched her jaw. What was Ben’s problem? There’s only one man I love, and that’s Ben. I just want to see Michael. She shouldn’t have told him.
“But I’d like to,” she said quietly.
Ben dropped his arms from her shoulders and moved away. He stood in front of the floor to ceiling windows and crossed his arms as he stared out into the grey drizzle.
Tessa stepped closer to him. “I’d just like to see Michael to clear the air between us. Nothing more.”
Ben shook his head as he whipped around. There was a glimmer of raw pain in his eyes but then his expression hardened. “I don’t understand why you would see the need for that, Tessa. The past is the past, a
nd that’s where it should stay. I’d rather you didn’t see him.”
Tessa was taken aback by the sharpness in his voice. She’d never expected Ben to be so adamant. She felt like standing up to him, but thought better of it.
“Okay Ben, I’ll think about it. Don’t worry about it for now.” She moved closer and placed her hands on his chest. “There’s only one man I love, and it’s you.” She stretched up and kissed him on the lips.
Later that evening when Tessa returned to her study, she quickly finished the order forms and turned her attention back to Michael’s email. She was tempted to reply and tell him how much she’d look forward to meeting up with him, but something stopped her. However incensed she was about having Ben dictate to her about whom she could or could not see, she hesitated to blatantly go against his wishes.
She leaned back in her chair and allowed her mind to drift. What would it have been like if she’d married Michael instead of Ben? Doubtless they would have had more fun. Michael definitely knew how to have fun. But would he have been a good husband? Tessa rolled her chair towards the bookcase and rummaged through the box on the bottom shelf. She finally found what she’d been looking for—the photo of her and Michael taken at Moreton Island on his birthday. She blew the dust off the glass and held it up. His grey eyes and tanned, chiselled face stared out at her. Although she had no right to feel this way, she couldn’t help the small pang of regret that ran through her body as she gazed into his familiar face.
She drew the photo closer. What would he look like now? Would the drugs have altered his good looks? But more importantly, how had he changed now he’d recommitted his life to God?
The more she thought about him, the more she wanted to see him. Not to rekindle anything—just to say she was sorry for deserting him like she had, because despite Sabrina’s rude manner, what she’d said had hit a nerve, and Tessa had begun to think that she was indeed a runner.
Tested Love: A Christian Romance (The True Love Series Book 2) Page 7
