by J. H. Croix
I was tight with my mom and my sisters. If I was ever going to move away from here, they would be the only reason why. It’s just that there was peace here in Alaska, and I needed that right now. Oregon was close enough for me to fly there in half a day, so I tried to take care of them from a distance.
I took a deep breath, my lungs filling with the crisp, early spring air. My breath misted as I let it out. My thoughts had been chasing each other when I couldn’t sleep, mostly getting hung up on Cammi. But then, I couldn’t blame Cammi for my lack of sleep. Hell, she’d pitched a tent in every corner of my thoughts whether I was awake or asleep.
I’d known I was feathering along the edges of a bad decision when I gave in and kissed her. Not because I didn’t want to kiss her. Not because she wasn’t sexy, sweet, a little sassy, and more emotionally fragile than I wanted to contemplate. No, rather, the problem was me. Once in my life, I’d slipped, not even for that long, but it had thrown my entire perception of myself and my ability to keep my shit together into disarray ever since.
I heard footsteps approaching, the subtle crunch of one boot after another landing on the ground. Although there was still snow left at the higher elevations, there wasn’t much on the well-worn path between the main resort and our staff house, or as Diego dubbed it, ‘the guy place’.
In a moment, the shadow of a man appeared, and I knew immediately it was Diego. Even in the dark, I’d recognize any of the guys I worked with here. We all knew each other too well. Diego was the tallest of all of us and had an easy, rangy stride.
He stopped in front of the steps, and our eyes were practically level with him standing and me sitting on the top step. “What the hell are you doing out here?” he asked.
“The better question would be what the hell are you doing out at this hour?” I countered.
Diego shrugged easily. “I went into town for a bit after dinner. Needed to see some other faces. You doing okay?” He climbed the steps and rested his hips beside mine to look out into the darkness.
“I’m okay. Wasn’t sleeping well.”
“How’s your pain?”
Diego knew me better than probably any of the guys here, and we all knew each other well. It’s just he was fucking perceptive as hell. He was solid as they came too. He had a philosophical bent that could be at odds with his intense loyalty and emotional nature.
I knew he was only asking because he was concerned, but every time somebody asked me about my pain, it felt as if my nerve endings were too raw to even tolerate the question. It was like a mosquito in the darkness that you wanted to swat—fucking annoying as hell and impossible to find.
I took a breath and let it out again. It was too cold for mosquitoes now. “It’s fine. Annoying, but what are you gonna do?”
“Not much, I suppose. How was your flight today?”
“Fucking awesome.”
Diego chuckled. He leaned sideways, nudging me with his shoulder. “Damn glad you’re in the air again.”
“Did you have to bring up Cammi tonight?” I asked, surprising myself with my question.
He chuckled again. Although I couldn’t see his eyes in the darkness, I knew there was a slight gleam contained in them. “Might as well go ahead and face the music. I think Cammi will be good for you.”
“Why do you say that?”
“Aside from her world-class coffee, she’s a sunny person. You could use a little of that. Plus, you’re worth someone like her.”
I heard Diego’s words, but it felt as if my own doubts were charging at me, ready to trample over his voice. He said it with such faith.
Chapter Fifteen
Cammi
I was zooming through a busy morning at the coffee truck. My thoughts were split between wondering when Elias might stop by, my plan to meet at the bank with Susie today to discuss a proposal to purchase Misty Mountain Café, and the text I’d received only moments ago. Truth be told, the text was occupying all my thoughts right now. I just didn’t like admitting it.
Sorry about your tire. Fran knew it was your SUV. I’d love to see you. I’m really sorry about the way everything went down. I never should’ve lied to you.
Stupid fucking lying Brad-slash-Joel. Of course, I had blocked the number I knew to be his, but clearly, he’d either gotten a new number, or signed up for some bullshit burner phone. I contemplated reporting him and his wife to the police for property damage, but it wasn’t worth it. It hadn’t cost me a penny because Elias was still refusing to let me pay him back. Not to mention the sheer mortification involved in showing up at the police station and filing a report about the man who’d lied and pretended to be somebody he wasn’t and who I’d accidentally had an affair with. The very end of that ridiculous story was that his wife apparently stabbed my tire. It was all messy and embarrassing.
Diamond Creek was such a small town that the newspaper printed all police reports every week. The only time they cut them short was during tourist season. They left out names, but people would know. Then, if there were actually charges filed, the names would be in the court reports, which were also printed weekly. Fuck my life. My cheeks got hot simply contemplating the situation.
“Here you go,” I said, handing another coffee to Amy. I was faster at making coffees, and she was turning out to be great with customers. She didn’t even care when they were rude to her. She just let it roll right off her shoulders. I mostly did too, but she had a sunny, cheerful nature that would serve her well in life until she got cynical.
Just because my morning needed to be more annoying, I then heard Brad’s—excuse me—Joel’s voice.
For the first time ever, I wished Amy would be a total bitch. She wasn’t. Le sigh. She greeted him cheerfully. “Hi there, what can we get for you this morning?”
I kept my head turned away, busy wiping down the espresso machine. The task most definitely needed to be done, so it wasn’t idle cleaning.
“I’ll just take the house coffee with a shot of hot water added to it,” Joel said.
Oh, right. Way back when, I should’ve known he was an idiot. My house coffee was delicious, but he preferred it weaker than it was. That pretty much said it all. Even his coffee preference was half-assed.
I stole a glance at Amy. She managed to keep smiling, but I could see the hint of horror in her eyes. I almost snorted a laugh and had to bite my cheeks.
“Hi, Cammi,” Joel added while Amy was ringing him up.
I glanced up briefly. “Hi.”
The second my eyes bounced past Joel, I wanted to disappear and wished I had the power to make it so. Because Elias was pulling into a parking spot. Just my luck. Sure, we could all agree that Joel was a total ass, but it didn’t change how idiotic I felt for stumbling into that situation.
There was a family behind Joel, so Elias had to wait. I ignored Joel, even when he stepped over to the side of the window to try to talk. “Did you get my text? I was hoping we could talk.”
“Yup, I did, and no, we won’t be talking. Please don’t text me again.”
I actually handed his coffee to Amy to serve him rather than giving it to him myself. He was still there when Elias got to the front of the line. I absolutely couldn’t resist lifting my eyes to look at Elias. His shaggy dark blond hair looked windblown, and his eyes were waiting for me. I sensed he recognized Joel from that night in the reception area at the lodge. Even though I was embarrassed because I didn’t like being reminded of the biggest mistake I’d ever made—one made worse because it caused other people pain—the moment I met Elias’s eyes, I felt protected.
He exuded an unconscious strength that I needed. Seeing him there with Joel only set off the contrast between the two men. Joel was handsome, but everything was only skin deep on him. He ran a seasonal outdoor gear shop, trying to compete with a local business and not doing so great from what I could tell. He wore shiny, new outdoor clothing, a stark contrast to Elias’s battered and faded blue jeans and well-worn jacket. Elias was several inches taller with
broad shoulders and an easy stance. It was like comparing plastic to steel.
“Hey, Cammi,” Elias said.
All of my parts shimmied at the sound of his low, melodic voice. I kind of even forgot Joel was there for a minute. After Elias ordered his usual, which was way stronger than Joel’s lame coffee, he stepped to the side. His eyes flicked briefly to Joel before looking away dismissively.
“How’s it going?” he asked, his attention like a beam of warmth on me.
Joel, being the ass he was, cut in, “I was actually talking with her.”
Now, Elias’s eyes slid slowly to him. I couldn’t quite read the look there, but I sensed a hint of anger and clear dominance.
“No, we weren’t,” I squeaked.
Elias’s lips curled, just barely, at one corner as he looked back toward me. Joel was silent for a few seconds before he turned and walked away.
“Please don’t come back,” I called.
He glanced over his shoulder, shaking his head as if he was somehow disappointed in me. Maybe I was rude, but good grief, the man had lied his way into an affair with me. He’d set the bar so low I didn’t feel like I needed to be polite.
With Joel gone, Elias stepped closer, resting his elbow on the inside of the window. I finished getting his coffee ready and handed it over. “There you go.”
Once again, he stuffed way too much money in the tip jar. I wasn’t going to argue about that because Amy deserved the tips.
“We’re still on for this weekend?” he asked.
As appeared to be the case whenever Elias was close to me, my lungs didn’t work too well, and I felt hot all over. I wondered if I was having early menopause, and these were hot flashes. I dismissed that quickly. I wasn’t old enough, and this crazy heat was Elias-specific.
“Of course.” My voice came out breathy, but what could a girl do when faced with a package of hot, delectable Elias? It was all just too much.
I peered through the serving window at my coffee truck. A storm was rolling in with dark clouds burgeoning in the sky and an icy wind kicking up from the bay. My old baker’s truck was sturdy, but it still rattled with the wind when it blew too hard. A stack of my red paper coffee cups toppled to the floor, and I turned to pick them up quickly.
Amy finished taking the last order. I prepped the coffee, glancing to the little red clock mounted above our heads on the inside of the truck. It was early evening, but I doubted anyone else would show, not with the weather blowing in. The parking lot was empty, and there was a steady stream of vehicles passing us by as rain began to fall. A gust of wind blew some icy cold drops into the truck.
“Why don’t you go home? I’ll close up,” I said with a glance in Amy’s direction.
“Are you sure?” she asked.
I cast her a quick smile. “I love how you’re always willing to stay for your whole shift. We’re not gonna get any more customers, and the weather is crap.”
As if Amy’s mother telepathically read my mind, she pulled into the parking area and waved from her car. She rolled down her window, calling, “Are you ladies closing up early?”
“Absolutely,” I called in return, my voice almost lost in the wind.
While Amy got her jacket and purse, I quickly prepped her mother’s favorite coffee to go. I handed it to her. “Give this to your mom.”
Amy dashed through the now steady falling rain as I rolled down the steel curtain for the window to lock it from the inside. I felt as if I were in a little cocoon as the wind howled outside. I turned on some seventies music to listen to while I cleaned up.
I was deep into jamming out to a song by the Bee Gees when I felt a particularly rattling gust against my coffee truck and heard a loud thump from a distance outside. Considering that I was safe and sound and dry, I carried on with my cleaning.
Not much later, there was a knock at the back of the coffee truck. Since I knew it was still pouring outside because the rain was pounding on the roof, I had no idea who was crazy enough to stop for coffee now. Thinking it was an errant customer with wishful hopes since my SUV was outside, I opened the door, surprised to find Elias standing there. He had no rain jacket on and his hair was wet. Without thinking, I tugged him inside. “What are you doing? It’s awful out.”
I was relieved to close the door behind him again and shut out the wind and rain. He was so wet, water dripped onto the steel floor beneath his feet. “I needed a coffee,” he opened with.
“I’m happy to make you a coffee, but that’s crazy to run through the rain like that. I hope none of you all are up in the air this evening.”
I reached for a clean towel from the stack of dishtowels ever-present on the corner of the counter by my espresso maker. He used it to wipe over his hair and dry his face and hands. I turned to get a coffee ready for him.
“All of our planes are on the ground, and I do want coffee, but I stopped because your windshield has a tree limb through it.”
“What?” My hands fell away after I automatically tapped the start button for his double shot of espresso.
Elias nodded calmly. “Yep, there’s a big tree limb poking right through it.”
I leaned my hips against the counter behind me and let out a ragged sigh. “You’re kidding.”
“Definitely not kidding, and not the kind of thing I would joke about. I figured you might need a ride. I mean, unless you want to drive home with a tree branch as your passenger and rain in your face.”
I actually laughed, and I needed it. “Definitely not.”
The espresso machine beeped at me, letting me know Elias’s shots were ready. I stepped to the side and quickly got his coffee ready before handing it to him.
“I tied a tarp over your windshield. Didn’t want it to get too wet inside,” he commented.
“Geez, is there anything you don’t think of? Thank you so much.”
“No worries. I have a few tarps in my truck, so figured it was the best option until you can deal with it.”
“Thank you. Really. If you need to get going, I can call a friend for a ride,” I offered, thinking Elias had helped me out in a pinch once already.
“I’m here already, and you just made me some awesome coffee,” he replied with a quick grin.
“Can you wait for a few minutes? I was just cleaning up in here.”
“Rocking out to the Bee Gees, I see,” he teased.
“I love the Bee Gees,” I said with a true loyalty I felt deep in my soul.
“I’m a fan too,” he offered before taking a long swallow of his coffee.
I wiped down the espresso machine again and finished cleaning the sink before putting everything away and grabbing the cash bag and my laptop. When I glanced up toward Elias, he was studying the small chalkboard I had mounted on the inside of the door.
I hadn’t updated it lately, but the two phrases jotted there were still worthy.
Don’t forget to smile. Bee kind.
There was a bumble bee drawn beside the second phrase.
“Do you change those up very often?” His eyes slid to mine.
In this moment where I wasn’t distracted by something else and I was alone with Elias, it felt like little fireworks went off in my body. All my girly parts woke up and that shimmering chemistry hummed to life in the air around us.
I must’ve stared a few beats too long because he prompted, “Cammi?”
“Oh!” I tore my eyes from his, looking quickly at the chalkboard. “I do sometimes. When the mood strikes me.”
“It suits you.”
“What suits me?”
“The chalkboard with motivational quotes in different colors. You strike me as the kind of person who wants the world to be a better place. Words matter.”
It suddenly felt as if Elias was telling me something more than the sum of his words. As we stared at each other, he looked slightly surprised and amused. “They do,” I finally replied.
The coffee truck rattled again with a punishing gust of wind. “Should we go?�
�� I asked.
Oddly, I didn’t want to leave. I could’ve stayed right there in my little truck with Elias looking good enough to eat and dangerous for my sanity. Because I felt safe. I hadn’t realized that I hadn’t felt safe. Not physical safety, but more that sense of doubting who you’re with and what they thought.
After a long moment, he took a swallow of his coffee and nodded. “Let’s.”
He held the door for me and waited while I made sure to get it locked up with a padlock from the outside on the door and the front window. After we dashed through the rain to his truck, we were both soaked by the time we climbed inside. There was no way to avoid it. My teeth were chattering slightly as I glanced to him. Elias tapped the button to start his truck and put the heat on full blast. “No raincoat?” he asked as his eyes swept over me.
My hair was dripping, just as his was. “You don’t have one either,” I countered.
He reached behind the seat and handed me a towel. “It’s clean.”
I rubbed the towel over my hair, neck and face before handing it to him. He did the same. “Let’s get you home.” He tossed the towel over the seat.
Although we were no longer in my coffee truck, it felt as if there was a little bubble around us. The weather was, as I’d predicted, just awful. When I looked out toward the bay, I could hardly tell the difference between the slate gray surface of the ocean and the rain falling from the sky except for a subtle shade of darker color. Wind buffeted his truck as he drove.
