by Rose Pearson
Ever since the tea party, George had been unable to get himself to stop questioning what it was he had seen: Major Ridding telling his stories and Lady Jessica in rapt attention as he spoke. If Major Ridding had not suggested that there might be more of a connection between himself and Lady Jessica, then mayhap it would not be so bothersome to George now, but the truth was George was beginning to question what it was Lady Jessica felt for him and whether or not it would be of long standing.
Groaning, George put his head down on top of the sheaf of papers, unable to even think clearly. The truth came to him at that very moment, the truth that his affections ran deeper than just fondness. The truth that he did, in fact, love Lady Jessica.
Drawing in a sharp breath, George sat bolt upright, the papers stirring uneasily on his desk.
“I love her,” he breathed, staring blankly straight ahead. “Good heavens, I love Lady Jessica!”
The words brought neither gladness nor pain to him, but rather a strange mixture of both emotions. He did not know whether or not Lady Jessica’s feelings ran to such a deep level, nor what he would do if they did not. Love was not something that went away with the turn of the season, he had been told and, aware of just how much he felt for her, George could well believe it. He had never considered himself in love before, although he had, of course, had a great many infatuations as a young man, but nothing this deep. Nothing this fervent. It almost took his breath away, realizing just how strongly he felt for her.
“Eccles!”
The door to his study flew open and none other than Major Ridding stepped inside, the butler flapping his hands behind him as he tried his best to announce the man’s arrival. Waving the butler away with orders to bring something to eat for them both, George got up to pour them both a brandy, trying not to let his emotions show in his expression.
“I should have referred to you as ‘Warwick’, I know,” Major Ridding chuckled, as George handed him his brandy. “It’s just taking a bit of getting used to, I suppose.”
George shook his head and gave his friend a wry smile. “Indeed, I quite agree.” He gestured to all the papers on his desk and sighed. “I am still not quite sure what to do with all this, although I believe I am getting there slowly. I understand now what my brother’s plans were for the estate and his tenants. He wished to develop the land a little further and to make significant repairs to his – my – tenant’s dwellings. I’ve already sent a man out to survey each home so he should bring me a report by the end of the week.”
“Very good, very good,” Major Ridding muttered, shifting a little uneasily in his chair. “Listen, old man, I’ve got something to tell you.”
“Oh?” George’s ears pricked up at once, surprised to see the slightly wary expression on Major Ridding’s face. “Nothing bad, I hope.”
Major Ridding cleared his throat, neither confirming nor denying George’s question. “You see, I’m throwing a ball next week. Obviously, I’ve not got an estate with a ballroom so I’m hiring the village hall.”
“Very good,” George exclaimed, a vision of himself dancing with Lady Jessica rising in his mind. “Do let me know if there is anything I can help you with, Ridding. I have got a little experience of such things now, given that I now have a title!” He chuckled, but Major Ridding did not join in.
“I went to Northfell to invite Lord and Lady Northfell, as well as Lady Jessica, Lady Harmonia and Lady Jacintha,” he continued, his eyes darting away. “They have accepted, of course.”
A wide grin spread across George’s face. Finally, he would be able to dance and speak to Lady Jessica, since Major Ridding would be busy enough trying to keep his guests happy.
“Lady Jessica accepted but pulled me aside to talk to me in private,” the Major said, quietly. “I don’t mean to hurt your feelings, old boy, but she specifically asked me whether or not you would be invited.”
George frowned, a little confused. “Why would you hurt my feelings? She asked if I was attending and that can only be a good thing.”
“No, no, that is not what I meant,” Major Ridding continued, his eyes darting everywhere but George’s face. “What I mean to say is that Lady Jessica asked if you would be in attendance because she specifically wished not to see you.”
It was as though George’s heart stopped beating at that very moment. He stared at Major Ridding, his face paling as he took in what had just been said.
“I’m afraid she doesn’t wish to see you, old man,” Major Ridding finished, finally looking George in the eye. “I’m terribly sorry. I know you had some affection for her.”
“Why?” George asked, hoarsely. “Did she say why? I don’t understand.”
Major Ridding’s expression grew sympathetic. “Did you not see how she deliberately avoided you at the tea party?” he asked, quietly. “She disclosed to me – carefully, I might add – that your feelings are moving faster than her own. I believe she finds you a little too much, Warwick.”
George felt his blood run cold, hardly able to believe what the Major had disclosed.
“I am sorry,” Major Ridding said, getting up to pour them both another brandy. “But you are young and titled, so I am quite sure there shall be another lady along more suited to you.”
Shaking his head, George stared down at the papers on his desk, his eyes unseeing. He could not believe what Major Ridding had revealed to him but had no reason to disbelieve the man. After all, Lady Jessica had been in deep conversation with Major Ridding at the tea party and had made no effort to come and seek him out. In addition, Major Ridding had been a close friend for many years, so there was no reason for him to lie. One looked after one’s friends in the army and this was exactly what Major Ridding was doing. George could not fault him for that.
“When is your ball?” he asked, slowly lifting his head back towards Major Ridding.
“Next week, in the village,” Major Ridding replied, a rather curious look on his face. “Why? You are not thinking of coming, are you? Not when she has specifically asked….?”
“Am I invited?” George asked, suddenly filled with a burst of anger that heated his cooled blood. “Are you giving me an invitation or not?”
Major Ridding looked startled as if he had not expected such a reaction from George. “Well, yes, I should not like to prohibit you from attending if you wish,” he replied, slowly. “I just thought you would not be willing to even consider it after what Lady Jessica has revealed.”
“You were incorrect in that assumption,” George stated, firmly. “I may or may not attend but, either way, I can assure you that I will not cause any trouble with Lady Jessica. If she does not wish to see me then I shall respect that.” Getting to his feet, he cleared his throat and sent a hard look towards the door. “Now, if you will excuse me, I have a great deal of work to do.”
Major Ridding mumbled something, his eyes averted from George’s face as he set his glass down.
“Thank you for being honest with me,” George said, a touch more quietly as Major Ridding walked to the door. “I appreciate your friendship, Major.”
Major Ridding gave a small salute. “Of course, Warwick,” he replied, emphasizing George’s title. “I do hope I have not brought you too much sorrow. Good day.”
George was left quite alone, the air in the study growing so thick that he felt as though he could hardly breathe. Lady Jessica did not want to see him? George felt sick at the thought of her confessing as much to the Major, instead of being honest with him. Had what they shared truly been a lie? When he had spoken to her of his feelings, had she honestly thought him much too forward, much too insistent? It was quite clear to him now that her feelings certainly did not match his own, which devastated George further. His heart had been so full, only to be broken into a million tiny pieces only a few minutes later.
The butler scratched at the door, sending in the maids with a tray of food and pot of coffee, which George instructed them to put on the table by the window. He was barely hungry but
knew he must eat, especially if he was to concentrate on what his estate and tenants needed.
He was quite alone now, in all of this. Lady Jessica could not be the help and support he had once thought she might be. No, it now appeared as though he would have to face this new world alone, bereft of the lady he knew he loved.
“I shall speak to her one last time,” he resolved, walking over to the window and looking down at the gardens below. “I shall make it quite clear to her that I will not bother her again. And then, I shall put her from my mind and my heart, for good.”
Chapter Fourteen
Jessica clasped her hands together, trying to dampen down her excitement. The ball was already in full swing and she could hardly wait to see Lord Warwick again. It had been a little disappointing that he had not called on her since the afternoon of the tea party and, deep down, Jessica was worried that it was because he had thought her rude in not seeking him out for conversation. She hoped desperately that he did not believe her to be interested in Major Ridding and had grown frustrated with herself, over and over again, that she had not taken herself away from the Major earlier that evening.
“Lady Jessica, how beautiful you look this evening.”
Jessica smiled quickly, her eyes darting away from Major Ridding. “Thank you for inviting us, Major. Might I ask if Lord Warwick has arrived yet?”
The light left his eyes almost at once, his smile fading. “No, not as yet,” he replied, frowning.
“Please do let him know that we have already arrived when he finally does make an appearance,” Jessica said, her urgency rising. “I very much would like to speak with him this evening.” She saw Major Ridding’s expression darken but he bowed and smiled, clearing the frustration from his face as he promised to do what she asked. Jessica was caught for a moment, wondering whether or not Major Ridding’s expression was to do with his upset over something Lord Warwick had done, unbeknownst to her, or if he was irritated at her eagerness to see the man. Shrugging inwardly, she made to turn away – only for Major Ridding to catch her wrist.
Startled, Jessica jerked away from him, hating that his fingers were so cold and that he had, once again, overlooked propriety. She was about to berate him, albeit quietly given that there were other guests nearby, but he was grinning at her in a foolish manner.
“Did you forget that you promised me two dances?” he said, holding out his hand for her dance card. “How wonderful that I should be the first to have my name there! I shall be able to choose freely!”
Jessica closed her mouth, her rebuke dying away on her lips as she held out her dance card, wishing that Lord Warwick had been here to greet her first. She would much rather have waltzed with him, wincing as she saw Major Ridding write his name there. Did he not understand that Jessica had no regard for him? Did he not see that the reason she asked about Lord Warwick was because she cared only for him? Her affections were not about to be placed elsewhere, no matter how much the Major smiled at her.
“I look forward to our dance,” the Major said, in a low voice, stepping closer to her. “The waltz, especially.”
Jessica tried to smile, although her body recoiled from him, forcing her to take a step back.
“I must see to my other guests,” Major Ridding continued, pressing a kiss to the back of her hand, his eyes never leaving her face. “Do excuse me, Lady Jessica.”
It was with relief that Jessica watched him go, wondering why she had recoiled so. Was it because she found him much too familiar, much too forward? It was clear that he had something of an affection for her but Jessica had made it more than obvious she did not return his regard. Why then did he insist on pursuing her so?
“Major Ridding seems kind, don’t you think?” Jacintha commented, coming over to Jessica from where she had been standing. “I have a dance with later this evening.”
Surprised, Jessica lifted her eyebrows. “Really?”
“Yes, the second waltz of the evening.”
Frowning, Jessica twisted her lips and wondered whether she was being overly harsh with the Major. Mayhap he did not, in fact, have any kind of affection for her and she was simply mistaking kindness for regard.
“You look confused.”
Giving herself a shake, Jessica smiled at Jacintha. “I am just wondering what has kept Lord Warwick. He is not usually late for such events.”
“Especially not when you are to be attending,” Jacintha replied, with a broad smile. “I am quite sure he will be here very soon. After all, he does now have a lot of responsibilities. Mayhap something there has kept him.”
Jessica nodded and tried her best not to worry. Determined to enjoy herself, Jessica smiled and nodded, her dance card slowly filling up – yet all the while, she still caught herself looking for Lord Warwick.
“You appear a little distracted, Lady Jessica.”
Glancing up at Major Ridding, Jessica flushed, embarrassment rippling up her spine. “Oh, do forgive me, Major. I was simply wondering where Lord Warwick might have got to. You did invite him, did you not?”
Major Ridding let out a long sigh, his brows furrowing together. “I did, yes. After all, you did ask me specifically and he is my very dear friend.”
Jessica saw the lines of irritation around his mouth and cursed her doggedness. “I do apologise, Major Ridding. I did not mean to be so persistent, it is just that I hoped to speak to him this evening.”
The waltz came to a close and Jessica smiled as Major Ridding led her from the dance floor, relieved that it had come to an end.
“I know this is quite untoward, Lady Jessica, but I must ask if you would accompany me for a moment.”
“Accompany you?” Looking up at him in confusion, Jessica caught the way his eyes shifted here and there, making him look quite ill at ease. “Goodness, Major Ridding, whatever is the matter?”
He shook his head, looking away from her. “I think it best I be clear with you, Lady Jessica, but I cannot have this conversation where anyone can hear me speak. Might you come with me outside for a moment? I promise it will not be long.”
Frowning, Jessica paused for a moment, wondering what the Major intended. “What is this about?”
“Lord Warwick,” the Major replied, sending a bolt of fear straight through Jessica’s heart. “I know you have been seeking him and I believe it is best to tell you all.”
Jessica nodded at once, no longer worried about what the Major intended. “Then yes, of course, I shall accompany you at once.”
He did not smile, simply nodding. “Very good, my lady. This way, if you please.”
Within a few minutes, Jessica found herself outside, walking alongside Major Ridding.
“I would not have us go too far, yet I know this news will disturb you somewhat,” he said, quietly, his eyes darting towards hers in the soft lamplight. “My dear Lady Jessica, I must inform you that Lord Warwick has returned to town.”
Jessica felt her breath catch in her throat, her arms tingling and eyes wide as she stared back at him. “Gone to town?” she managed to repeat, her voice nothing more than a squeak. “But why?” She could not understand why Lord Warwick would do such a thing! After all, they had shared a great deal of intimacies and he had been more than clear about his intentions towards her, so what had made him leave without even speaking to her?
“Ah, well, this is where it becomes difficult,” the Major continued, shuffling his feet as he turned to face her. “He is my very dear friend, as you know, and the truth is he decided that it was time for him to wed.”
The words hit her like sharp stones, piercing her skin.
“I believe he thinks that a wife might be best found in London. After all, he does have rather specific requirements.”
“Requirements?” Jessica whispered, swaying for a moment as she tried her best to take in what the Major was saying. “What requirements?”
The Major shrugged. “Something about being determined to focus on the estate, someone who had very little ambition other
than to support him.” He shook his head and let out a very long sigh. “He seems quite determined to forget all about his former life, it seems. He needs a wife who can help him do that.”
Jessica wrapped her arms around her waist, struggling to breathe. She could not understand why Lord Warwick would do such a thing, not when he had spoken to her about where he wanted to travel, apparently thrilled with her own sense of adventure. Had she somehow pushed him away unknowingly? Had her honesty and vulnerability only proved to him that she was not the woman he needed?
“I – I don’t understand,” she whispered, hot tears trickling down her cheeks, unabated. “I thought he…I thought we….”
She swayed and, for a minute or two. Major Ridding held her tightly, which only forced more tears to drip from her lashes. Her breath came in harsh gasps, sobs racking her body.
“I am sorry to have to be the one to tell you this, but I could not allow you to continue waiting for him when he has no intention of returning,” he murmured, as she slowly stepped back from him. “I do not know what he is thinking of, not when he has someone like you waiting for him. I must admit that I find him entirely foolish, Lady Jessica.”
Sniffing indelicately, Jessica pulled a lace handkerchief from her sleeve and wiped at her eyes, knowing that she needed to collect herself before she could return inside. She shook her head and tried to force her breathing to return to normal. “I do thank you for telling me the truth, Major Ridding. It would not have done to be left so much in the dark.” Her chest burned with pain, as though someone had reached into her heart and torn it into pieces, leaving her bleeding. “I did not ever expect such behaviour from him.” The truth was, she had expected quite the opposite so to hear this news from Major Ridding now had come as something of a shock. It was as if everything she knew about Lord Warwick had been thrown at her feet and burned, revealing nothing but ash.
