Second Chance Dad

by Roxanne Rustand

  “I—I didn’t mean to c-cause trouble,” Eli whispered.

  Guilt swept through Josh. “It was my fault, not yours. I never should’ve left you alone out there. Not for a minute.”

  The lab tech came in with a tray of test tubes. “Hey, little fella. This will take just a minute, okay?”

  Eli whimpered, tried to edge away as the tech prepared his arm and applied the tourniquet. Josh held Eli’s hand and moved closer. “Pretty exciting stuff, huh?” He smiled. “But you’re doing really, really well. Your mom will be so proud of you.”

  Eli moaned when the tech drew the sample, tears trailing down his cheek. “I just wanna go home. Please, can you take me home?”

  The curtain rustled as the lab tech left. A moment later, Sophie appeared, her face as pale as Eli’s. Her eyes widened with shock at the bloodstains on Josh’s shirt.

  “The nurse just told me about what’s going on here.” She moved to the side of the gurney and kissed Eli’s forehead.

  “Hey, Eli—I hear you’ve had an exciting afternoon.” She looked up at Josh, her eyes wide and frightened, searching his face as if looking for answers that the nurse had withheld.

  “The on-call doc will be here shortly,” he said quietly. “They’re doing blood work to check for internal bleeding and I suspect they’ll be doing some scans as well, just to be safe. He’ll need a few stitches for the lacerations on his arm.”

  She drew in a sharp breath, then turned back to Eli and managed a wobbly smile. “You have had an exciting day.” She rested a loving hand against his tear-streaked cheek. “But everything will be fine. Don’t you worry at all. We’ll have you back home in no time.”

  She didn’t spare Josh another look as she murmured encouraging words to her son. After a few minutes, he withdrew, knowing that he was probably the last person she wanted there, since he’d been the one who had failed his responsibility for Eli.

  He hadn’t paid attention on his way in, but now he slowly paced the emergency department waiting area, taking in its smudged and dreary mint-green walls, and the chipped 1960’s tile squares on the floor. A handful of wooden chairs were strewn haphazardly along one wall. The place looked more like a set from the old movie One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest than any modern hospital he’d ever seen. Were they even capable of providing adequate care, here? Should he have driven to the next town?

  Lost in his thoughts he didn’t notice the newcomers—a couple in their sixties—until the woman was already seated on the chair nearest the double doors leading back into the emergency department. The man paced in front of her, his jaw rigid. Slender, narrow-eyed, his face appeared to be set in a permanent scowl.

  He stared at Josh for a long moment, then stopped pacing and folded his arms over his chest. “Are you here with Sophie and Eli?”

  Josh hesitated as a renewed sense of guilt slid through him. “I’m Josh McLaren. I came with Eli, but Sophie is with him now. Are you her parents?”

  The woman swiveled in her chair to look at him, a frown deepening the vertical line between her eyes. “We’re the Millers. I’m Sophie’s stepmother. And this is Dean, her dad.” Her hand crept up to her throat. “Do you know how Eli is?”

  “A doctor is on the way. They’re doing some tests to make sure he’s all right, Mrs. Miller.”

  Dean’s eyes narrowed even more. “I’ve heard about you, McLaren,” he snarled, his voice rising sharply. “You’re that patient of Sophie’s—the one who’s been hanging around her. It’s all over town.”

  His face mottled with anger, he’d moved closer, silently forcing Josh to take a step back.

  And then, slow realization dawned in his eyes. “But I know I heard that name before. Didn’t you, Margie? He was in the news—something real bad.”

  Josh stilled, waiting for him to remember. Knowing that he would.

  “It was…it was a car accident.” A note of triumph crept into the man’s voice. “Real suspicious circumstances—wife died in a fiery crash, but her ‘loving’ husband survived unscathed. That’s what the papers said.”

  “Not unscathed, exactly,” Josh said quietly, leaving his burn-scarred hands in his pockets. “I couldn’t save her.”

  “And now, my daughter apparently leaves her boy in your care?”

  “Only for an hour or so. She needed to—”

  “So you have one small boy for an hour and he ends up in the hospital?” His voice rose to a roar. “Stay away from my family, McLaren. Maybe my Sophie is nice to you, but if you’re a patient of hers, she has to be or she’ll lose her job. She doesn’t need the likes of you hanging around.”

  The security guard reappeared, and glanced uneasily between them. At the desk, the receptionist rose, holding a phone receiver to her ear—probably calling 911 for backup.

  Josh stepped away. “I’m sorry, Mr. Miller. Maybe I’d better leave.”

  He nodded to the guard and the receptionist, stopping to look over his shoulder before going through the exit doors.

  His heart stumbled over a beat when he saw Sophie standing in front of the emergency department door, a hand at her mouth, her face pale as snow.

  She’d overheard everything—he could see the shock in her eyes. But she didn’t say a word.

  And now he knew that she’d judged him, and found him guilty in every possible way.

  And any chance he’d had with her was gone.

  Chapter Twelve

  Sophie stared at the sliding glass doors long after Josh left, then jerked her attention back to her father. “What have you done?”

  He spun on his heel and glared at her. “I’m protecting my family. Something you apparently don’t know how to do.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “Didn’t you hear? That man is probably a killer—even if he didn’t go to trial. Let his own wife die. Just stood back and watched, the papers said.”

  “That’s not true.”

  “What, did he tell you different? And you believed him? You were ignorant when you were twenty, falling for any lie a man told you. But it’s time you grew up.”

  Margie rose slowly. “Honey—”

  He turned on her. “Shut up. This doesn’t concern you.”

  She paled, looking as stricken as if he’d slapped her. Then she grabbed her purse, shot an apologetic look toward Sophie, and stalked out the doors to the parking lot.

  Years of anger and hurt welled up inside Sophie’s chest, making it hard to breathe. How many years had he talked to her like this? For how many more could she allow it to happen?

  “If that’s how you treat Margie, then it’s a mystery why she hasn’t packed up her bags and left long ago.”

  His face darkened to near purple with anger. “Now see here, young lady—”

  “No. I have always respected you. I’ve listened to you, and I’ve tried to believe what you said. But you’re wrong about Josh McLaren, and you’ve always been wrong about me.” She gripped the back of a wooden chair. “And now you’ve hurt a woman who loves you. Maybe I’ve made big mistakes in my life, but you cannot throw the past in my face any longer.”

  “You want to be with someone like McLaren?” His voice rose, laced with venom. “And see our name dragged through the mud a second time?”

  “And why would that happen? Josh McLaren is a client, and a friend. That’s it, though I wish he was more.”

  “A man who carelessly allowed your son to get hurt.”

  “Not at all, because Eli just told me what happened. He disobeyed. If he’d listened to Josh, it never would’ve happened.”

  “Right. And you still think you can selfishly traipse off with a man like him. If you leave town, who’s gonna take care of your grandfather?”

  Stunned by what he’d revealed, she stared back at her father, the rage behind his words still echoing in her ears.

  He must’ve realized his mistake, because he snapped his mouth closed.

  “So that’s what matters to you. I’m only a convenience.”
She felt her heart shattering, piece by piece. “I’ve spent my life trying to please you. Trying to endlessly atone for what happened back in college. I married a man I didn’t love, trying to make things right in your eyes, but instead of love and forgiveness, you just gave me guilt.”

  “You were wrong,” he huffed. “I didn’t raise you that way.”

  “And you have led a perfect life? I know God forgave me years ago. I just wish you had, too.” Sadness welled up inside her, at the futility of trying to make him understand. “I just hope I can find Josh and apologize to him for what you said to him.” She glanced at her watch. “I’ve got to get back to Eli—he’s probably back from his CT scans by now.”

  She turned on her heel and went back to Eli’s cubicle to wait for his return, and tried to will away her tears.

  From the first moment he’d heard Eli scream, Josh had felt as if a hand had closed around his heart in a crushing grip.

  He’d failed as a husband, when he’d focused only on his career. He’d failed again when he hadn’t been able to save his wife and unborn son. Today, he’d been incapable of keeping a young boy safe. And each and every one of those failures was unforgivable.

  There’d been no mistaking Eli’s rapt attention when he came to Josh’s house, or his eagerness to please. His longing for the companionship of a new father figure was palpable—understandable in any fatherless boy.

  What business did Josh have, imagining that he could be that kind of man? Or that he could have a relationship with Sophie someday? With all of his failings, he didn’t deserve a woman like her…and she definitely didn’t deserve a man like him. Dean Miller, for all his lack of charm, was right.

  She deserved far better.

  At his cabin, he climbed out of his truck and looked around, feeling the emptiness of the place. It had felt right, before the days when Sophie had breezed into his life. It had been a place of penance. Of sorrow. But now it was too lonely for words.

  He went inside to pack a duffel bag with his few personal possessions. Grabbed his cell phone, made a couple of quick calls, then called for Bear.

  It was time to move on.

  Thank you, Lord, for keeping Eli safe, Sophie whispered as she tucked the covers around Eli and bent down to give him a good-night kiss. “How are you feeling now, honey?”

  “Okay.” He looked up at her with somber eyes. “Do you think Dr. McLaren will come visit me?”

  “Someday.” Or maybe not. She’d called his cabin twice, since bringing Eli home from the hospital yesterday evening, and there’d been no answer. At first she’d figured he was out in his shop, working on the Harley, but now she wasn’t so sure. Maybe he was screening her calls and would never pick up. That encounter with her father might well have been the last experience he ever wanted to have with her family, period.

  “Do you think he’s still mad at me?”

  She smoothed back his dark hair, careful to avoid the four stitches above his left ear, and smiled. “I’m sure he was never angry. He was probably scared, and worried, and felt very bad about you getting hurt. He felt responsible for you, you know. I left a message on his phone yesterday, telling him that you’re back home and just fine, though. I’m sure that made him feel better.”

  “I’m going to have some big bruises, aren’t I!”

  “Yes, you are…and you might have a couple of little battle scars, where you had stitches. But at least you didn’t break any bones or have internal injuries.” She tapped him lightly on the tip of his nose. “You were extremely lucky. And now you’ll have quite a story to tell your friends when school starts in the fall, about how you were attacked by a Harley.”

  His eyes flew open. “What if I broke it?”

  “If you did, then we’re responsible for the damage, Eli, and that could be very expensive. That’s why we should never play around with someone else’s things—especially without permission.”

  “I never even told him I was sorry.”

  He looked so crestfallen that she wanted to give him a hug. But with the bruised ribs and shoulder, she gently took his hand instead. “That would be a very good idea, honey. It’s very important to apologize if you do something wrong.”

  Eli tried to prop himself up on one elbow, winced and eased back against the pillows. “Can we call him now? Please? It’s only nine o’clock. He’s a grown-up, so he’d still be awake.”

  She hesitated. There were already two calls from her on his caller ID, even though she hadn’t left a message the second time, and at some point, it was going to look like she was being a pest. On the other hand, she knew Eli would just get more and more worried and would never go to sleep if she didn’t give it a try.

  “One call,” she said firmly. “If he doesn’t answer, then we will not dial his number again until tomorrow. Deal?”

  He nodded. “Can I push the buttons?”

  “All of my clients are in the phone book, so if you touch J you can scroll down until you find his name.” She handed the phone over. “Remember how you do that?”

  Concentrating, Eli bit his lower lip as he punched the buttons and then held the phone to his ear. A moment later he handed the phone back. “Wrong number, mom. This one says ‘disconnected.’”

  She gave him a patient smile. “Try again.”

  “You try. What if he went away?”

  “Silly. We just saw him yesterday afternoon at the hospital. He couldn’t just pack up and leave that fast, and why would he?” Still, she clicked on his name in her cell phone’s directory and hit Send.

  The phone rang twice, then a recording announced that the number had been disconnected, just as Eli had said.

  It had to be an error of some kind. Maybe…a phone line was down somewhere, or he’d forgotten to pay his bill. Or maybe he’d switched from having a landline to just his cell. Lots of people were doing that these days.

  Though a quick call to that number wasn’t answered, either.

  “I think we should check on him, Mom. Maybe he’s hurt or something.”

  “He does have a cell phone, sweetheart. He could call for help.”

  “Not if he’s hurt. Maybe we should go see him. Please, Mom.”

  She hesitated. “I can’t leave you here alone. Maybe I should ask the sheriff to check on him.”

  “No. I want to come with you, because we should make sure he’s okay. Then I can apol’gize and everything.”

  “Well…”

  Eli gingerly pushed away the covers and awkwardly swung himself out of bed, then pulled on a pair of baggy shorts and a T-shirt over his short summer pj’s. “See? Now I’m ready. Let’s go.”

  Josh had made remarkable progress over the past six weeks. He no longer relied on his cane unless he was tired, and the exercises for his core muscle groups and trunk stabilization had already reduced his lower back pain. There shouldn’t be any reason for him to suffer a fall. It was logic that didn’t keep her from starting to worry, though, as she drove up the long, darkened lane to his cabin. Why wouldn’t he be answering his phone?

  She pulled to a stop under the single security lamp set high on a telephone pole by the garage and trained her headlights on the house.

  There weren’t any lights on anywhere—not even the faint glow that one could see through the kitchen windows, from the light he left on above the stove. And all was quiet save for a fitful breeze rustling the aspen leaves. Bear always woofed when she arrived, and came running if he was outside. If inside, his woofs always alerted Josh, and soon the front door would open and Bear would launch through it to race out to her car.

  The dead quiet of the place told her that no one, not even the dog, was here.

  She backed around, trained her headlights on the shed, and stepped out of her car to peek in the windows. Sure enough, his car was gone.

  “Where is he, Mom?” Eli asked in a quavery voice when she got back in the car.

  “I don’t know. He…could’ve gone to visit friends, or a relative. Or maybe he headed to
Madison for some shopping. Now that he’s feeling better, he probably has a lot of catching up to do.” She turned to look at him over her shoulder, and infused her voice with an extra dose of breezy assurance. “But since his car is gone, you don’t need to worry about him. Right? He simply isn’t here.”

  The one explanation she didn’t voice was the one that was weighing most heavily on her mind.

  From the very beginning she’d been attracted to Josh—even when he’d so stubbornly resisted physical therapy. As the weeks passed, she’d discovered hidden sides of him that she hadn’t expected—and she’d found herself drawn to him more and more.

  But it was when he’d gently taken Eli under his wing and had offered the kind of companionship her son craved, that he had truly touched her heart.

  Since then her feelings for him had been growing, day by day, and she’d imagined the possibility of him coming to care for her, too. But the day of Eli’s accident had been the last day of Josh’s physical therapy…and now Josh was gone. Maybe he’d been planning to leave all along.

  And his feelings for her?

  Maybe he’d never had any at all.

  Chapter Thirteen

  When she stopped at Josh’s place the next day, while on her Friday rounds in the area, he wasn’t home, either…and a peek in the garage revealed that his Cherokee was still gone.

  Hurt niggled at Sophie’s heart as she slowly drove down the long lane leading to the highway. During the past month, she, Eli and Josh had spent a lot of time together in addition to his therapy appointments. There’d been only the one kiss, but they’d slipped into a warm relationship that had started to feel just so right. Every accidental, random touch as they’d walked along a trail or when he’d opened a door for her had been laden with that extra zing of awareness that hinted at possibilities beyond mere friendship.

  She hadn’t even had an inkling that Josh would drop from sight like this.

  At the highway, she waited for the oncoming traffic to pass by, then did a double take at the bright yellow Nelson & Waterbury Realty for-rent sign by the mailbox.