Blackest Heart [Wayback Texas]

by Amber Leigh Williams

  She went back in the bedroom to sit on the window ledge and watch the stallion graze, watch the breeze blow through the bluebells, feeling more at peace than she ever remembered.

  This was what she'd wanted. This was what she'd come running back to Wayback for. Right here. She glanced back at Judd and wondered what he'd think of that.

  After she finished her coffee, she went into the bathroom to brush her teeth, glad she always carried a toothbrush in her purse. The mirror above the sink was a small square. Her face was oddly flushed. It'd been a long, hot, enjoyable night. Her hair was mussed but she didn't so much as rake her fingers through it.

  He'd done that as he'd listened to her talk about life in LA through the sleepless hours. She'd never felt more compelled to talk in her life and she'd never known anyone outside of the media more ready to listen without interrupting. He'd thrown in a relevant comment here and there, but she understood that was much more than he'd given to any other woman. On some deep, basic level, they'd grown to understand each other.

  As she bent over the sink to splash water into her mouth, she heard the shower spray behind her. Arms wound around her waist from behind. She finished rinsing out her mouth before raising her eyes to the mirror again and smiling at him. His hair was sticking up at odd angles, his eyes narrow from sleep. “Morning, lover,” she greeted, turning to him.

  He groaned a response and bent to kiss her, but she dodged away from him. “Uh uh. You need to brush your teeth first, cowboy.” She held his toothbrush between them like a shield. He frowned but took it.

  She perched on the toilet lid and watched him bend over the sink and brush thoroughly then cup water in his wide palm to rinse out his mouth. “You know, you really need some hand towels or something in here,” she mused.

  He eyed her doubtfully.

  "Some basic brown ones will do,” she said. “Don't you want something to dry with after you brush your teeth or wash your face?"

  He stepped to her and lowered his head to her breasts, arms snaking around her. When he wiped his wet mouth on her shirt, she laughed, enjoying the playful nuzzling. She wrapped her arms around his neck when he raised his lips to hers, ready for his kiss now.

  He teased her, holding back then dipping down to run his lips along her jaw line and down her neck. The loose shirt dropped from her shoulder to expose the skin there to his lips.

  So lost in his lazy, morning seduction, she didn't realize he'd unbuttoned her shirt until he was pushing it down her arms and away. He pulled her off the toilet and into the shower. She gasped when she felt how cold the water was, but he didn't give her time to complain. Plastering her against the wall, he warmed her with his body and held her hands on either side of her head as he lowered his lips over her, taking his sweet time.

  When he let go of her hands, he turned her to the wall. Blood already humming, she arched back to him. He was there to answer her body's silent plea. A cry launched from her throat as he slid into her. She welcomed him, wrapping around him, tight and slick, bowing back into him as he set the pace.

  * * * *

  Around lunchtime, he dropped her off at home. Stella unbuckled her seatbelt, leaned over the console and kissed him hard, dragging it out until she was breathless. She pressed a kiss to his chin and murmured, “I'll see you tonight?"

  Judd answered by cupping a hand around the back of her head and pulling her down for another long, full kiss. Tempted to melt against him and beg him to take her back to his place, she tore herself away, laughing as she dodged away from his grasping hands. “Seven okay?"

  "Five,” he countered.

  Opening the door and getting out, she smiled. “Six,” she decided and shut the door before he could argue. With a wave, she watched him pull out then went into the house with a dreamy grin on her face. Humming, she strode into the kitchen where Nuala was making sandwiches. She bent to kiss the woman's wide cheek and chirped, “Morning."

  "Afternoon,” Nuala corrected. “You got your brother all het up this morning. You look a sight more pleasant than anyone around here."

  "I don't care what anyone thinks or says,” Stella told her. “I'm happier than I've ever been in my life and I'm not going to let Keefe ruin that for me. What does he have against Judd anyway?"

  Nuala heaved a weighty sigh, taking a plate to the counter where Stella stood. “Sit. Eat. You look a mess. As soon as you're done eating, you better go up and change before your daddy or brothers see you. One look and it don't take three guesses to know what you've been up to since you lit out of here last night."

  "Do you condemn me?” she asked around a mouthful of ham and cheese.

  Nuala pursed her lips as she slapped meat onto bread. “Judd Black's a lost soul. You came back because you were lost. Home's where lost souls go to look for the missing pieces. It's a sweet thing when lost souls find each other. I just worry what the outcome will be."

  "You think he'll hurt me?” Stella asked, lifting the coffee mug Nuala set by her plate.

  Nuala shook her head. “Man wouldn't hurt a living thing. That black mutt that follows him everywhere? One day the hands came in for lunch. They were eating on the back porch when a stray walked up, looking for affection. Keefe shooed it, told it to git. The poor thing whined and began to walk off, tail between its legs. Judd walked over, called it to him, and gave it the rest of his lunch. They've been inseparable from that day on. It's been three years since."

  Stella's heart warmed just thinking about it. “So what's the problem?"

  "There's too much static between him and your brother,” Nuala explained. “You think if you two keep at it, Keefe's going to stand down and let it be? There'll be a scuffle, I guarantee it. There's a lot of hate built up behind both of them after all these years of hostility. One's bound to hurt the other bad. Your father will have to send one of them off the Range. You think he'll choose Judd over his own son?"

  "I get it,” Stella said. “Our relationship jeopardizes Judd's standing here at the Range.” She blew out a frustrated breath. “Damn Keefe. Why can't he leave it alone? What happened between those two? I never knew."

  "Nothing happened,” Nuala pointed out. “Your brother was coming of age when your mother left. It hurt him most. It's hard to imagine it could hurt more than it did for you, but Keefe felt the deepest blow. There wasn't a day he spoke to her after that. You and Casey learned to forgive. Some people cloak their grudges to them like their life depends on it and Keefe's the leader of the pack. He reacted to her leaving with rebellion and aggression. When your daddy brought home another boy his age, hurt and bleeding, Keefe wouldn't have it. It's why Leland didn't adopt Judd, why he sent him off to live with Jim. Your brother was too territorial to let Judd live here. Deep down I think he feared he was being replaced."

  "That's ridiculous,” Stella muttered though she felt for Keefe.

  "They were confusing times. We were all trying to find something steady in the balance. Keefe's solace was his role as protector. He wasn't going to let anything come into this house and upset it again."

  She shook her head. “So what do I do, Nuala? How do I fix it?"

  Nuala's warm, brown eyes offered compassion but no answer. “Nothing you can do but wait it out and hope a miracle happens and your brother decides to forgive ... or start forgiving. Too much at once for anyone, but Judd Black is as good a place as any to start."

  * * * *

  Stella dreaded it but knew she had to apologize to her father for storming out the night before. It went down easier than she'd anticipated. He didn't question where she'd gone the night before. The knowledge was in his eyes, but she didn't apologize. She could never feel sorry for a night like that.

  After she dealt with Leland, she went looking for Keefe. Jeremy saddled her up on Lucy Girl and pointed her in the direction her brothers had gone that morning. The herd was down from the hills, but Keefe and Casey were up near the woods tracking the coyotes they'd been hearing up that way at night. She took a rifle with her, as
suring doubtful Jeremy she could use it as well as she rode a horse.

  She rode for an hour before she saw the pair of horses riding fast from the north. They slowed when they saw her. She lifted her hand. “Been looking for you two all morning,” she called when they neared.

  Keefe glared at her from underneath his tan Stetson. She could see the bruise across the bridge of his nose. Casey looked relieved to see her but was clearly torn between sibling loyalties. “Keefe mentioned something about headin’ to Abilene."

  "Going whoring?” she quipped, pacing Lucy Girl to keep up with their horses. It was well known her brother liked to pick his bed partners far out of town.

  "At least I know what's good for me,” he muttered darkly.

  She lost her temper before she could grab hold of it. “Do you, Keefe? Do you really know?"

  "Yeah,” he shot back, eyes firing a dangerous warning. “I do know. Just like I know that you're making a nasty mistake getting mixed up with trash like Judd Black."

  "Trash?” she shrieked, outraged. “He's a hell of a lot more man than you are!"

  He snorted. “I don't leech on an old man's sympathy when I need a job. I don't go knocking on the town whore's door every time I need a fix. And I sure as hell don't kill people!"

  She opened her mouth to argue then fumbled. “Kill people? What in God's name are you talking about? Judd wouldn't hurt anyone."

  "He shot Wild Willie Brusky in the back like a coward,” Keefe told her, relishing in her shock. “Then he watched him bleed out and die."

  "Keefe, that's enough!” Casey demanded. “That's been explained. It's been dealt with."

  Stella's mouth dropped open. “It's true?” she asked Casey, heart falling out from underneath her.

  Casey grimaced and looked away. “He did his time."

  "Oh, my God.” She couldn't breathe. Her stomach roiled.

  Keefe sneered at her. “Like I said, you'd stay far away from Black if you knew what was good for you."

  She glared at him though her eyes were blurred by angry, disbelieving tears. “Why should you be the one who decides? Think you're good enough, Keefe? Just shows what an arrogant son of a bitch you are and always have been. The way you're going, you always will be!"

  She rode off, galloping as fast as Lucy Girl would go to get away. She needed answers. Though a part of her heart had already iced over, she needed answers and Judd was the only one who could give them to her.

  [Back to Table of Contents]

  Chapter Ten

  Judd sat on the front porch of Jim's cabin. Jim hadn't rebuilt the one his wife and daughter had died in. He'd put up a few walls on the other side of town, as far as he could go without getting out of Wayback. The state of the place was testament to the man's anguish and empty life. Judd tried to come out as much as possible to see the man who'd rescued him, raised him.

  The yard was overgrown. There were only a few necessary pieces of furniture in the house, which Jim had bought from flea markets or yard sales. The only nice thing Jim had was the bed Judd had built for him because Judd couldn't stand the thought of Jim sleeping on the lumpy sofa every night.

  The man's hard face had aged in warped time. His hooked nose sprang out like a gaunt line from his sunken, sun-spotted cheeks. He'd stopped trimming his graying hair. It was tucked into a ponytail at the nape of his neck. His dark eyes, once so full and vibrant, always laughing, were dull, almost lifeless. They sat in the rocking chairs on the front porch in silence, drinking the iced tea Jim had managed to scrounge together when Judd had driven up.

  It was a long time before Jim spoke. When he did, the subject surprised Judd. “Heard you've been chasing after Cecily's girl."

  Judd looked at him to see if Jim approved or disapproved. He'd worked hard all his life to make sure he kept Jim's approval. It was unnecessary. The man's affection had been unswerving no matter his actions. But this seemed particularly important.

  "If I'd chased her, she wouldn't have looked twice at me."

  Jim chuckled though his face didn't smile. “She's like her mother. Goes after what she wants when she wants it.” His sad eyes frowned at the weeds. “Man's lucky a woman like that would think to look his way."

  Judd hesitated before revealing more. “She spent the night at my place."

  Jim looked at him, thick brows lifting. “Well, well..."

  Judd nodded and couldn't fight a smile. “She's something."

  Jim studied him for a long moment. “She going back to Hollywood anytime soon?"

  "She talked about it last night,” Judd remembered. “She said she wants to stay here, learn how to work the spread again. She wants to work at the Range, pull her weight. No doubt she's capable. You should see her ride a horse."

  "Is it enough for someone who's done and seen bigger things?” Jim wondered, eyeing the horizon.

  "She loves it here,” Judd explained. “She loves the land. She loves the people. She loves the Range and Wayback."

  "And you?” Jim asked.

  Judd fumbled. He paused, trying not to stutter over his answer. “Love hasn't come into the equation."

  Jim raised a brow again, eyeing Judd knowingly. “Hasn't it?"

  Judd let out a mirthless laugh. “She's hardly been back a week."

  "Hasn't it?"

  Judd's smile fled. He looked away from Jim's knowing expression, shaking his head in automatic denial. “It's simple now. That's probably all it'll ever be. A simple distraction."

  Jim sighed, looking severely disappointed. “Judd, for someone so stoic, you are too easy to read sometimes."

  It was Judd's greatest fear. His heart pounded, panicking as he waited for Jim's verdict.

  "Love's something you never see coming. Sometimes it comes in increments, building and growing over months or years or even lifetimes. But there are some people who find it in a flash, in an instant. It may seem rash and idealistic, but it's real. It's the closest thing to magic we'll ever get. It takes a strong person to accept it and make it work. And if there's one thing you've always had, it's strength. Your heart isn't as bleak and black as everyone in town thinks it is."

  Judd looked down at his glass, brooding as Jim went on. “It takes more than that to survive what you did. Your father beat you to a pulp every time you opened your mouth to speak. It took more than strength to leave. You see it as a cowardly act but leaving that house that night and wandering into the woods was the smartest and bravest thing you could've done. A coward would've curled up in the corner and waited to die. It took strength to grow past that, to trust Leland and me and Cecily to take care of you, to find it in yourself to love us in return. You made something honorable out of an unlikely circumstance. You won't see me blaming you for wanting to share that."

  "I'm no match for her."

  "Clean out your ears, boy, and listen to me,” Jim demanded, growing impatient. “If you deserve anyone, it's a real woman. If she's got a mite of her mother in her, you can be sure I know."

  Judd headed off as the sun began to sink. Riding with the windows down, Elwood in his rearview with his tongue flapping in the wind, Jim's words ran through his mind.

  Who was to say if Stella wanted him back? He felt half-crazy thinking they might have a happy ending ahead of them. But he indulged the image for a moment, letting it pan out. By God, he could see it—clear as ever-lovin’ day. Him and Stella Ridge.

  He saw her truck in the drive and checked the clock on the dash, surprised to see she was early. He got out of the truck, stopping to pick some of the bluebells in the yard, collecting his thoughts.

  She was sitting on the arm of the couch, back to the door, staring out the window at the sunset. He tried to be as quiet as possible, but the door creaked as he shut it behind him. She turned to look at him and his heart dropped. Her eyes were red-rimmed. Just the thought of her crying twisted something vital within him. He took a step toward her.

  "Stop,” she demanded.

  He halted, reading the warning in her eyes
and wondering where it'd come from. Clutching the flowers in his fist, he knew they'd be useless. The aggression was steaming off her.

  She rose slowly, turning to face him. “I want an explanation. I came here because I had to hear it from you before I could believe it."

  Her eyes weren't just angry. They were cold. He'd already lost her and he didn't know how or why. He lifted a shoulder. “What do you want to hear?"

  "Willie Brusky."

  Realization sank in like an icy stone. He lowered his gaze from her and turned to go into the kitchen.

  "Don't walk away from me!” she yelled at his back. “Don't turn your back on me! I want an explanation and you're going to give it to me right now, Judd Black!"

  "What do you want to know?” he asked dully, rinsing out one of the glasses they'd used the night before. He filled it with water and dropped the bluebells in them.

  "Did you kill him?"

  The pain swooped down and picked at old wounds he'd never healed. He took a deep breath before he could look her in the eye and tell her the truth. “Yes."

  A breath snaked out of her. She clapped a hand to her mouth, her face chalk white. “Oh, my God,” she murmured against her hand.

  Judd watched her digest it. It went down hard from the look of her. Her eyes filled with tears she fought back with anger. She charged at him, and he didn't lift a hand to defend himself as she slapped him across the cheek. “Son of a bitch! I slept with you!"

  "He killed them, Stella,” he ground out, fighting with all his might not to reach for her.

  "So that gave you license to kill him in cold blood just like he killed them?” she shot back.

  His mouth dropped open. “What did you hear?"

  "You shot him, watched him bleed out and die."

  He ground his teeth together to fight back rage then shoved past her to pace. He wanted a drink but bit back on the urge to grab the whiskey bottle.

  "Keefe was right! You're no good for me. And you did disappoint me in the end."