Cocky Bastard

by Penelope Ward

  “Thank you, Mates. Appreciate your help all these weeks.”

  Melanie’s eyes widened. “Wow, thank you. You won’t be back?”

  “Afraid not.”

  When I pulled up to Aubrey’s house, a white and blue sign on the front lawn was the first thing that caught my eye. My heart started to pound furiously.

  What in the hell?

  As I got out close enough to read it, I saw that it said, For Rent. My heart seemed to fall to my stomach. Taking my key out, I rushed to the front door and opened it. Mutton’s water bowl was still in the kitchen, but it was empty. No sign of the goat anywhere. All of the furniture was still in place, but it seemed all of Aubrey’s personal belongings were gone.

  I was practically flying through the house. A sweep of her bedroom also confirmed the worst. Every last item of clothing in her closet was also gone. Sitting on her bed and looking around the room, reality was starting to sink in. Adrenaline pumped through me.

  Calm down, Chance.

  In a daze, I returned outside into the blinding sun. I opened the shed and started packing my lawn equipment into the back of the truck. That was when I heard a whistle.

  Turning around, I realized it was Aubrey’s nutty neighbor, Philomena. She’d run outside to meet the UPS guy and was carrying a brown box.

  She sauntered over to me, dragging her slippers on the pavement. She had rollers in her hair, and her lips were sloppily outlined with bright pink pencil but no lipstick. “Hey, hot stuff.”

  Trying to act friendly despite my rotten mood, I said, “Nice to see you again, Philomena. What do you have there in the box?”

  “Who knows? I order stuff in my sleep and don’t even remember.” She snorted.

  “Ah, that’s right. The four Magic Bullets. You gave Aubrey one.”

  “You want one? I’ll trade you for a ride on your mower.”

  “That’s alright. I’m retired from the lawn care business as of today.”

  “You mean now that she’s gone?”

  My eyes darted toward hers. “You know where she went?”

  “I didn’t have a chance to talk to her, saw her leaving with the boyfriend yesterday. She was inside packing. I asked him what was going on, and he said she was moving to Boston with him. Next thing I knew, there was a sign up out front this morning.”

  My ears felt like they were burning. “Really…”

  “Yeah.”

  I couldn’t remember what I said to Philomena after that. I didn’t even have a recollection of the ride back to the motel. I would have expected to feel angry or confused, but everything was just numb.

  Holding my phone in my hands as I sat on the bed, I wanted to text her, but the more I thought about it, the less it seemed like a good idea. If she really were moving to Boston, she didn’t even bother to tell me that she’d made her decision. Was she there already? Was she even going to call me this weekend like she’d promised? Suddenly, the numbness was wearing off, replaced by pure rage.

  Grabbing my wallet, I walked across the way to the bar. I didn’t want to feel the emotions of losing her. I didn’t want to feel anything tonight.

  The words rolled off my tongue bitterly. “Hit me up, Carla Babes.”

  Carla looked absolutely shocked to see me sitting in my usual spot. “I didn’t think I’d ever see you again, Aussie.”

  “Well, I came to say goodbye. I’m leaving to head home tomorrow, and I’m not coming back.”

  She poured my drink faster than ever, sensing I needed it badly. “What happened?”

  I took a swig and slammed the glass down on the bar. “It’s over.”

  “That’s it? Over? Aubrey stayed with Dick?”

  It pleased me that she’d also adopted my nickname for him.

  “Yes. I went to her house today, and everything was cleaned out. There was a sign out front advertising the place for rent. The dickhead told the neighbor Aubrey was going to Boston with him.”

  “Are you fucking kidding me?”

  “End of story.”

  “So, she didn’t even have the decency to tell you herself?”

  “The decency or the guts, not sure which.”

  “How did you leave things with her?”

  “I’d gone back to Hermosa Beach for a while. She thinks I’m still there. She was supposed to call me this weekend. I decided to come back anyway and check on things. Now, I know what she was planning to tell me when she called.”

  “I’m so sorry.”

  “Not your fault.”

  “I was really hoping things would work out for you. You deserved to have a happy ending.”

  “Can we not talk about this anymore? About her?” I swallowed as if it were painful.

  “Okay. Whatever you want.”

  Carla quietly placed drink after drink in front of me. She knew that I was in no mood to talk, so she let me be. At one point, she cut me off, refusing to serve me anymore. I lay my head on the counter as she wiped down the tables. The bar was getting ready to close. I had no concept of what time it even was. The sound of the television and a few patrons talking was muffled.

  She tapped me on the shoulder. “Come on, big guy. I’ll drive you across the street.”

  I got into Carla’s red Prius and rested my head back on the seat with my eyes closed. I was still a little drunk but starting to sober up. I would have probably had to drink myself to death to get to the level of inebriation necessary to forget this day. So, in a sense, I was pissed at Carla for refusing to serve me more alcohol but grateful to her for looking out for me.

  She walked me to my room and quietly followed me inside. Lying back on my bed, I crossed my arms and closed my eyes. When I opened them, Carla had disappeared. The water was running, and I realized she was in the bathroom.

  I closed my eyes again. This time, when I opened them, Carla was standing by my bed. She’d taken down her hair, which was usually up in a retro style. She’d washed off the heavy red lipstick she wore. Most notable was the fact that she’d taken off all of her clothes except for her red lace bra and matching underwear. Her breasts were spilling out of the material, and the panties barely covered her curvy bottom.

  My voice sounded sleepy. “What are you doing?”

  “Remember what we talked about? The offer still stands. Let me make you forget everything. No strings, Chance. Just you and me and a really good fuck.”

  My dick twitched, my body unable to control the natural reaction to that proposition.

  “Carla Babes, you don’t have to.”

  “I want to. God, Chance, I want to so badly. You have no idea what you do to me.”

  Shit.

  Before I could form words, she began to straddle me over my jeans, grinding against my half-stiff cock. “I think you’re ready for me,” she muttered over my lips.

  She kissed me, and I reluctantly returned it, unsure of whether to accept her offer or push her off of me.

  “Do you have a condom?” she whispered.

  “No.”

  “It’s okay. You don’t have to worry. I’m on the pill, and I’m clean.”

  Carla lifted my shirt over my head as I closed my eyes again. She was kissing down my chest as my intoxicated mind imagined it was Aubrey.

  Aubrey.

  Aubrey.

  Aubrey.

  Carla gently pushed me back further onto the bed. She started to open my belt buckle as I continued to lay down. When my cock sprung free into the cold air and she started to stroke me, I knew she was about to take me into her mouth. Something deep within me screamed, “Don’t do it.”

  I slid my body back suddenly before pulling up my underwear. Standing up, I zipped my pants.

  Moving my fingers through my hair, I looked down at the ground and shook my head. “I can’t do this.” Grabbing my shirt and slipping it back over my head, I said, “I’m so sorry.”

  With her hands on her hips, Carla bit her lower lip and nodded in understanding. “It’s okay, Aussie.”

 
“It’s not you…it’s just—”

  “Her. I know. It’s her.”

  “I’m just not ready to—”

  She spoke louder. “You don’t have to explain, Chance.”

  Carla looked sad. I hated hurting her feelings, but being with her like that didn’t feel right at all.

  “I’ll get dressed and go, okay?”

  “You don’t have to leave.”

  “I really should.”

  After she put her clothes on, Carla came over to where I was standing and kissed me gently on the cheek. “One day she’s going to wake up and regret it. I hope by that time, you’ve found the one you’re really meant to be with. Because it’s not her.”

  “Thank you, Carla Babes. Thank you for everything.”

  “Please come back someday when your head’s on straight again, will you, Aussie? I want to know that you’re happy.”

  “I will. I promise.”

  Just like that, Carla drove away into the night.

  Left with a minor case of blue balls, I retreated to the shower. Letting the warm water run down on me, I squirted some shampoo into my palm and fisted my cock into my hands, jerking it roughly. Despite best efforts to block her from my mind, all I could think about was Aubrey as I stroked myself. Visions of her rubbing her clit while we masturbated together in my bathroom infiltrated my brain. I jerked myself harder and imagined coming inside of her instead of my hand. As I finished, my thoughts were spiraling out of control. I leaned against the tile wall, overcome with emotion as the orgasm shook me.

  Fuck you, Aubrey.

  Fuck you.

  I hate you.

  I love you.

  I hate you.

  I love you.

  Shit.

  I still love you so much.

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  Back in Hermosa Beach the following Sunday, I still hadn’t heard from her. I refused to reach out first, especially knowing what I knew. If she didn’t care enough to at least call me to let me know what was going on, then I wasn’t going to give her the satisfaction of contacting her.

  A flock of seagulls followed me as I walked along the beach near my loft. Kicking the sand, I wondered where my life would go from here, how I would spend my days without the focus on getting Aubrey back. More than anything, I wondered how I could possibly make myself forget her long enough to move on.

  Picking a spot, I sat down and gazed out into the ocean. The water was rough. A brisk wind blew some sand into my eyes. A few surfers rode the choppy waves in the distance. A group of people were playing volleyball a few feet away. One of the girls ran over to me.

  “Hey, we need another player. Want to join?”

  Why the hell not? A distraction certainly couldn’t hurt. “Yeah. Alright.” Lifting my sluggish body off the ground, I joined a guy and a girl on one side of the net. Repeatedly serving the ball under arm, I kept my team in the lead for several games.

  At one point, we took a break, and the only other guy player went to fetch some waters for us from the beach concession stand. When he returned, he was cracking up.

  “Dude, you’re never gonna believe what I just saw.”

  “What’s that, Mate?”

  “There was a chick in line with a goat on a leash.”

  I dropped the ball. “Say what?”

  “A goddamn goat on a leash! This smoking hot chick, too. She wa—”

  “Where?”

  He pointed in the direction from which he came.

  When I immediately took off, one of the girls yelled from behind me. “Hey, don’t leave! We’re starting another game.”

  “Play without me,” I shouted without looking back.

  My heart felt like it was beating unnaturally fast.

  When I got to the concession stand, no one was in line. Looking around frantically, I wondered if it were possible that this were just a coincidence. A goat on a leash? No way. She was here.

  Then, I saw her.

  Aubrey.

  My God.

  She and Mutton were sitting alone on the sand. She was feeding him an ice cream cone as she looked out towards the water. The wind was blowing her hair around. She looked heart-stoppingly beautiful. Staring at her in disbelief, I stood there for the longest time without saying anything.

  Somehow, he noticed me first. The “blind” goat suddenly bolted toward me, nearly knocking me down in the process.

  Not knowing why the animal took off, Aubrey jumped up in a panic before she realized he was in my arms.

  She stood up and brushed sand off of her pale yellow sundress. “Chance.”

  “Princess. What are you doing here?”

  “I’m parked at your house. You didn’t get my text?”

  I took my phone out of my pocket and realized I had missed a text from her. It must have come in during the volleyball game. “No, but I see it now.”

  Trying not to get overly excited, I reminded myself that she could very well have come here just to deliver the bad news in person. Despite my wanting to reach out and touch her, my body stiffened instead as a self-protective mechanism.

  “Can we walk to your house? I don’t want to have this talk here.” She wasn’t smiling. Her expression was only confirming my worst fears.

  A feeling of dread developed at the pit of my stomach. “Sure.”

  The short walk to my place was quiet. When we arrived, Aubrey’s car was parked out front. We sat outside on the front steps to the loft. Mutton chewed on the grass next to us. She rubbed her palms together nervously.

  “Go on, Aubrey. Just get it over with.”

  She looked like she was about to cry, and her question caught me off guard. “Are you seeing someone?”

  My tone was abrupt. “Am I seeing someone?”

  “Just answer me.”

  “No, Aubrey. I’ve done nothing but eat, sleep and breathe you for weeks.” My tone bordered on angry. “Why would you ask me that?”

  “The other night, I returned to my house to get some things I forgot during the move. Philomena saw my car and came out to tell me that you had been there earlier in the day. So, I went to your motel that night. There was a car parked outside. When I peeked in the window, a girl was with you, and she was putting a shirt over her head. I think it was that bartender.”

  Fuck.

  Fuck.

  Fuck.

  Are you kidding me?

  Fuck.

  “Princess, listen to me.” I placed my hand under her chin, directing her to look at me. “I promise you, I will never lie to you. Do you believe me?”

  “Just tell me the truth.”

  “That was Carla. She’s a friend. You’re right. She’s the bartender at the bar I frequented. She followed me back to my room because I drank too much that night. She took off her clothes and came on to me, but I stopped it. Nothing happened.”

  “Really?”

  “I swear on my Mum’s grave. Carla kissed me and started to undress me, but I told her I couldn’t do anything, nor did I want to.”

  She let out a huge breath. “Oh my God. I’ve been losing sleep. I know I don’t even have a right to be upset after the way I’ve treated you.”

  “My judgment was off that night. I was devastated after I found out you decided to go to Boston. It felt like my life was over.”

  “Boston? I never decided to go to Boston.”

  “What? But all of your stuff was gone.”

  “Yes. I moved out…but not to go to Boston.”

  “Philomena talked to Dick while you were packing. He told her you’d made up your mind to go with him.”

  “No. That’s not true.”

  “Fuck, Princess. That’s why I got so sloshed that night. I thought I’d lost you.”

  “Richard was hopeful. Maybe that’s why he told Philomena I was moving with him. He kept thinking he could convince me, dangling the promise of a job and all. I hadn’t told him about you until the next day. I wanted to pack my stuff before things got ugly.”


  “Wait. Are you telling me…”

  “I never intended to go to Boston, Chance. My mind was basically made up a long time before that, but I was still scared to give in to you completely. The fear is always going to be there. I will always be afraid to lose you because of how much I love you. Spending that one day with you here, though, it felt so right. I’d never been more certain of anything in my life. I knew I had to go back and tie up my loose ends. I knew I had to end it with him.”

  “You broke up with Dick?”

  “Yes. It was a mess. I told him everything. He accused me of fucking you and your twin brother, Harry the landscaper.”

  We both burst out into laughter, startling the goat who miraculously stayed conscious for once.

  “If only I were two people and could double team you. Did you tell him I don’t really have a twin?”

  “No. Once he accused me of being a slut, I didn’t care to clarify.”

  “Dumbass.”

  “He really was a good guy, but from the moment you came back, Chance, you need to know there was never really any contest.”

  I let out a huge sigh of relief as my mind started to piece together what was happening. “You quit your job…not to go to Boston but to…”

  “I wasn’t happy there anyway. Plus, if I were going to move to Hermosa Beach, I—”

  “Move here?” A huge smile spread across my face. At that moment, I squinted my eyes to take a closer look at Aubrey’s Audi and noticed for the first time that it was packed to the rim with all of her crap just like the first week we met. Holy shit. We’d come full circle.

  “All of your shit is in there?”

  “Yes.” She placed her hand on my heart. “But I don’t need anything but this.”

  Leaning in, I kissed her with everything in me and lifted her up into the air. People were driving by and honking.

  When I put her down, she had tears in her eyes as she wrapped her arms around my neck. “I hope this complex allows goats.”

  “If anyone gives us shit, we’ll just move. I’m thinking we need a house anyway where I can grow you another garden.”

  My breathing quickened as the magnitude of everything started to hit me. I became overwhelmed with an animalistic urge to claim what I finally knew with absolute certainty was mine. I couldn’t wait a second longer to be inside of her. “Princess, hope you don’t have any plans for a while.”