The Vicar's Daughter

by Josi S. Kilpack

  Hot tears came to Cassie’s eyes, and though she tried to blink them away, they would not be held back. Lenora would not forgive her, Evan would not have her, and her parents would not comfort her. She had lost everything.

  Cassie was at her dressing table Sunday morning when Mama came to stand in the doorway. “We shall leave in ten minutes,” she said.

  “Yes, Mama,” Cassie said obediently, though she wanted to protest. She had kept to the vicarage all week where she encountered no one outside of her family and therefore did not have to pretend all was well. By now, the news of the broken engagement would be all through the parish. Would people pull her aside at church and ask her questions? She would have to act the role of sister of the scorned, but hide her part in it. The ability to meet the expectations placed upon her felt impossible.

  After Lenora’s departure yesterday morning, Mama had outlined Cassie’s responsibilities. She could not play the organ in Lenora’s place at services, but she was to take over Lenora’s other Sabbath chores such as laying out the hymnals, polishing the organ keys and pedals, and making sure Mr. Peterson—Lenora’s replacement—had everything he needed. This was in addition to Cassie’s usual responsibility of preparing the pulpit, which she had done for several years.

  On Mondays, Cassie would accompany her mother to visit the parishioners who did not attend services. Tuesdays, she would help Rose. On Wednesdays, she was to go to Victoria’s house and oversee her niece’s lessons. Mama determined that Cassie’s rudimentary skill at the pianoforte was a better option than skipping lessons until Lenora returned. She would also head up the children’s Bible class in the afternoon. On Thursdays, Cassie would help with the wash and attend the parish dinner. Friday would be more visits, and Saturday was always full of Sabbath preparations.

  Cassie was to tell no one about the letters and was to defend her sister at all costs. It was exhausting to think of keeping such a schedule while she nursed her secret pain, but she agreed without argument, knowing she had earned the punishment. She hoped that meeting her mother’s expectations would amend her wrongdoing.

  Overshadowing all of the foreseeable difficulties, however, was the possibility that she would see Evan at church today. If he came. How would she react? Perhaps her broken and embarrassed heart would not reach for him after all that had happened, but she had thought of him every day, and she worried about him. Was he back from London? Would he attend services if he were? Did he hate her for what she had done?

  Cassie dressed in her plain lavender gown without any embellishments and went downstairs so that she would be ready when her mother appeared. Mama did not compliment Cassie’s punctuality but instead repeated Cassie’s Sabbath duties as they crossed the yard between the vicarage and the church.

  When they entered Father’s office, Cassie gathered Papa’s sermon from where he always left it on his desk, then went to the chapel and put the sermon on the pulpit. She retrieved the crate of hymnals and set them out on the pews. When that was done, she returned to the pulpit and laid out the pencil and ruler Papa insisted be at the ready for him each week. She filled a water glass and put it on the lower shelf and straightened the altar cloth that hung over the sides. There was nothing invigorating about the work, but it felt good to be doing something other than pining at her window, thinking of Evan, and wishing she could rewrite the last few months of her life.

  When the parishioners began to arrive, Cassie sat in the second pew—where her family always sat—and steeled herself for the uncomfortable questions that were sure to find her. Within a minute, Rebecca Glanchard slid into the empty space beside Cassie on the bench.

  “Goodness, Cassie,” she said, keeping her voice low as though everyone didn’t already know. “Whatever has gone on? I couldn’t believe it when I heard the news about Lenora and Mr. Glenside.” She snorted in disgust. “I knew from the moment I saw him he was unfit for our level of society. And to think everyone was so excited to have him come to Leagrave.”

  Cassie’s stomach tightened, but she bit back the sharp defense of Evan that had so easily risen to her mind. She was to defend Lenora, and yet it was not fair that Evan should bear the accusations. Could she defend them both?

  “It is not his fault,” Cassie said, shaking her head for emphasis. “They simply were not well suited.”

  “Not well suited?” Rebecca repeated. “He should have thought of that before he made her an offer. I find what he’s done completely reprehensible. Why, Mama said she will not dine with him, and she told Aunt to scratch him from the list of attendees for next month’s ball.”

  “That seems rash,” Cassie said, sick to her stomach at the continuing consequences of Evan’s actions.

  “Rash?” Rebecca countered. “No gentleman would treat Lenora as he has. Such action is not to be tolerated in Leagrave.” She paused and narrowed her eyes at Cassie. “I am surprised you are not more upset about it, Cassie. She is your sister, after all.”

  The continuing battle within herself left Cassie without a reply.

  Rebecca remained a few seconds longer, obviously waiting for Cassie to further abase Evan. “Oh, there is Aunt now,” Rebecca said when Cassie did not respond. “Please tell Lenora how sorry I am for all that’s happened. Perhaps it is best this way. Can you imagine being married to a man of such low manners? Happy Sunday, Cassie.”

  Cassie could only nod in response. She felt ill and looked at the clock near the pulpit, counting the minutes until she could escape. She’d no sooner thought it than someone slipped into the bench behind her and leaned forward.

  “Cassie,” Sarah Modfield said softly. “How is dear Lenora doing? Why I could hardly believe it when I heard the news. And now I hear she’s left for Bath. My heart is truly broken for her.” She patted Cassie on the shoulder before leaving.

  Rose and her husband joined Cassie on the pew, and Cassie was grateful for the buffer of their support even though she knew Rose should have stayed home. She had several weeks left in her pregnancy but looked as big as a house. Victoria and her family arrived, filling in the bench behind them. Cassie felt protected in her place beside the wall. But even Victoria and Rose did not know Cassie’s part. What would they think if they did? Once surrounded by her sisters and their families, Cassie did not have to deflect the comments herself, but she heard the whispers all the same. She was glad Lenora had gone to Bath so she did not have to endure this.

  Finally, Father walked up to the front of the congregation. His face was drawn, leading Cassie to believe he had been fielding many of the same questions she had faced. He was supposed to have read the banns today.

  There were a few minutes yet before Papa would begin his sermon, and everyone moved to their places.

  Mama moved past Rose to take her seat beside Cassie. “This is torturous,” she said under her breath.

  Cassie nodded. She could not think of a better word.

  “At least Mr. Glenside isn’t here,” Mama said.

  Cassie was surprised by the chilly tone and turned to look in Mama’s face, which was hard as she faced forward. The weight in her stomach became heavier still. What would happen when he did return?

  Cassie’s new responsibilities began the next morning, and though little of the work was enjoyable, she found satisfaction in being busy. On Monday, Cassie spent half the day on parish visits with Mama and the other half helping weed Widow Bott’s garden, which was so horribly overgrown she couldn’t even find the cucumber plants. On Tuesday, Cassie spent all day at Rose’s, catching up the wash and tending the garden. They spoke little; Rose was too tired and Cassie too anxious. On Wednesday, Cassie ran through the C-major scales with Victoria’s daughter in the morning and was on her way back home to prepare for the children’s Bible class when Rebecca Glanchard waved at her from the other side of the street.

  Cassie’s heart plummeted in her chest, but she put on a polite smile—the best she coul
d muster—and waited as Rebecca ran across the dirt road, one hand holding her bonnet on her head. Cassie had no choice but to wait for her friend, though she did not relish the idea of conversation. She had little doubt what Rebecca wanted to say. Lenora was all anyone talked about these days, and each conversation added new weight to the wretched state of Cassie’s soul.

  “I thought it was you,” Rebecca said when she reached Cassie, her cheeks flushed from exertion. “How are you? Have you heard how Lenora is in Bath?”

  “Mama received a letter yesterday. Lenora made it safely to Bath and is enjoying the society there.”

  Rebecca frowned. “Poor Lenora,” she said, shaking her head. “Every time I think of what that horrid man did to her I want to . . . Well, I don’t know what, but it’s not very Christian.”

  Cassie kept her smile in place, but only just. Were this any other family and any other man, she would take an equally strong position against the gentleman’s poor behavior.

  Rebecca continued. “And soon we will have to tolerate his mother and sisters too. It’s downright vulgar, if you ask me—them prancing into town, pretty as you please.” She let out a huff of air. “I hope not a single drawing room is open to them once they arrive. I know we shan’t call upon them.”

  Cassie took a breath to steady herself. “I expect our family shall call.”

  Rebecca’s face screwed up in sympathy. “I’m sure your parents shall have to do so, being clergy and all, but what a horrible irony that they should have to. I expect they shall be the only ones, however, and everyone will know it was out of duty. I hope you shall not have to attend them. Mr. Glenside’s sisters are surely pock-faced and shabby.”

  “I see no reason to think so,” Cassie defended, though she fiddled with the string of her reticule as she spoke. “And I certainly am not deciding now to dislike them simply because of this unfortunate occurrence.”

  “What?” Rebecca said, genuinely surprised. “After his treatment of Lenora, I would think—”

  “He did not treat her poorly, Rebecca,” Cassie said, feeling fire building in her chest. She held the other woman’s eyes. “They were ill-suited, that is all.”

  “Well,” Rebecca huffed, pulling her eyebrows together. “I certainly know where I shan’t go for comfort should anyone treat me as base as he’s treated Lenora.”

  “I feel badly for Lenora as well. It is a terrible situation for everyone.”

  “At his hand. His mother and sisters shall bear the shame of it just as any of the rest of us would if someone in our family behaved so badly. Oh, I dread seeing them at church on Sunday. I’m sure that will be our first occasion to get a good look at the bunch.”

  Cassie felt her eyebrows lift. “Church on Sunday? This Sunday?”

  “Yes. I mean, I am only assuming they shall be there because Mr. Glenside was attending services before he left, but I do hope they think better of it. Church is for the God-fearing.”

  “Wait,” Cassie said, sure she’d misunderstood. “Mr. Glenside’s family does not come until August when the Dower House is fully ready.” Cassie had thought of their coming many times but took comfort in the fact that their arrival was two months away. By then the scandal would at least be lukewarm, and she hoped some portion of the town’s natural kindness would be back in place.

  “You have not heard?” Rebecca said, leaning in. “They are coming to Leagrave tomorrow.”

  “Tomorrow?” Cassie said as her stomach plummeted to her toes. “That can’t be.” Why would they come so much earlier than expected? Why would Evan allow them to come when the branding irons were still red-hot?

  “My maid is sweet on a footman at Glenside Manor, and he told her that the lot of them will live in the big house until the cottage is done. The footman said they are adding three more staff, and they are bringing in more workers to finish the renovation quicker. I feel for the elder Mr. Glenside, having to put up with such a parade of common folk in his own house. I feel he’s already been generous beyond his character.”

  “What do you know of his character, Rebecca?” Cassie snapped, filled to the brim with the mean-spirited gossip. “You’ve never spoken to the man in all your life, and yet you’re as quick to pass judgment on him as you are on three innocent women who have done nothing to deserve the censure you are so very eager to bestow upon them.”

  Rebecca’s eyes went wide as she stared at Cassie, the silence drawing long between them. Long enough for Cassie to regret her sharpness. But she did not regret her words, and so she did not offer the apology that Rebecca was surely waiting for.

  The young women stared at one another until Rebecca lifted her chin and offered a tight smile. “Good day, Cassandra.” She turned and crossed the street.

  Cassie began walking toward home, albeit slowly, and imagining the reception the Glensides would receive when they arrived in Leagrave if Rebecca’s attitude reflected that of the rest of the town. Perhaps because Evan had not been raised amid the gentry, he did not understand how tightly they could pull together when they felt threatened. Perhaps he did not fully understand the prejudice they held toward the lower classes.

  Cassie herself understood she was accepted in higher circles only because of her father’s position in the church; he was still a workingman. That his work was God’s allowed him to maintain gentle society. Cassie knew the rules; Evan did not. His mother and sisters were entering a lion’s den, and Cassie was not certain that even God could close the mouths of such beasts.

  The Wilton family always had stew for an early dinner on Wednesday night due to choir practice starting at seven o’clock. Often they invited fellow parishioners to join them, especially other members of the choir. Tonight, however, they had no energy to offer companionship to each other, let alone anyone else.

  This must be what hell is like, Cassie thought as she spooned up a bite of potato. Surrounded by people you love and yet still alone.

  She pondered on redemption and forgiveness. Not for herself, as that seemed a long distance off. Since the confrontation with Rebecca, she could not stop thinking about Evan and his family. He was taking the fall for what had happened even though he was the least to blame. And his mother and sisters would soon join him in the undeserved disgrace.

  Cassie knew from his letters that he felt great responsibility for them. It was one of the many things she admired about him. He had already been concerned about their finding a place in a higher level of society. Their arrival would give rise to more gossip and mean-spirited comments. Cassie would have to continue to defend Lenora and cast Evan in the role of villain by default. Who deserved her loyalty? Who should she protect? Why did she have to choose?

  She thought back to her father’s sermon on Sunday, which had been centered on putting God first in our lives and neighbors second. Evan was their neighbor. He was a member of her father’s parish, as his family would be now that they were coming to live here. She thought of her last moments with Evan, of his hand on her face and the pain in his eyes. What would she see in his eyes when next they saw one another?

  After a few more minutes of agonizing silence, Cassie cleared her throat and looked at her mother. “Did you know that Mrs. Glenside and her daughters are coming to Leagrave?”

  Mama stopped chewing for a moment and cast a look at Papa, who quickly returned to his bowl of stew. They knew. “I heard something of it, yes,” Mama said.

  Cassie went back to her dinner, unsure how to have this conversation without antagonizing her parents. Silence filled the room again until Cassie put down her spoon and placed her hands in her lap. “I am responsible for the cold reception they will likely receive when they arrive. I want to make it better, only I don’t know how.”

  “You are not responsible,” Papa said, running his bread along the bottom of the bowl. “And people will not be unkind.”

  “Will we visit them on Monday when we make the
other parish visits, Mama?” Cassie asked. Her parents shared another look. Cassie looked at her father. “Will you welcome them to the parish?”

  “I only recently called on Mr. Glenside,” Papa said. “I don’t feel I should make another call unless I am invited.”

  Cassie turned to her mother. “Will you call on them then, Mama?”

  “Not socially, no,” Mama said, finally meeting Cassie’s eyes. “It would be inappropriate, considering the circumstance.”

  “A circumstance of my actions, not theirs.”

  “Mr. Glenside plays a part,” Mama reminded her.

  “Unwittingly,” Cassie reminded them. “He did not know the letters were from me, and as soon as he did know, he verified the information. Once he knew the truth, he could not in good conscience pursue the match. I feel that makes him honorable.”

  “Your definition of honorable and mine are very different, then,” Papa said, straightening in his chair. “He made a declaration to Lenora. He had a moral obligation to see that through, and he broke his word. That is not honorable.”

  “Would you have rather he followed through when he knew he did not love her as he should?” She did not point out that his feelings for Cassie were what prevented him from following through. That truth was nothing more than salt in the wound. Evan was lost to her, and she knew it. He should not be punished further for what had already hurt him.

  Mama fixed Cassie with a tired look, as though they had had this conversation a dozen times before. “Love grows over time and through committed promise. What happened was unfair to him, I agree, but he made the choice that ended the engagement, and there are consequences for such things.”

  Cassie stared at her mother for several seconds, then turned her eyes to her father. “You would truly have preferred him to follow through with the marriage even when his heart was not in it?” She hoped such bluntness would help them hear themselves. “You would prefer that Lenora have a life with a man who did not love her rather than feel the embarrassment of a broken engagement?”