Surrendered

by Monica James

  “No, you should do something. I was just worried that your mom wouldn’t come because she hates me,” I say quietly.

  I hate discussing this with Jasper because he’s either in denial about it, or totally blind.

  Jasper lets out a tiny chuckle. “She does not.”

  So, looks like he’s totally blind.

  “Ah, yes she does,” I correct as I pull back to look at him.

  He nuzzles into my neck, inhaling deeply. “She loves you because I do.”

  I reply with an unconvincing, “A-ha.”

  But I don’t want to discuss his mom, as I have other important matters to deal with, like what a chicken shit I am for not telling him what I originally came here for.

  Looking into his big cerulean eyes, I remember his comment from earlier.

  “How could you think I’d ever break up with you?”

  Jasper shrugs, and brushes a loose piece of hair behind my ear. “Because sometimes I have to pinch myself just to make sure I’m not dreaming. We’ve come so far, and I’m afraid you’ll get sick of me and move on,” he confesses.

  Did I just hear him right? This amazing, awe-inspiring man before me thinks little ole’ me will get sick of him?

  I grab onto his cheeks, my eyes searching his beautiful face. “Don’t you dare think that. I will never leave you. I’m in this for the long haul,” I declare, meaning every word of it.

  I just hope he is, too.

  He leans forward, licking his lips, and plants a light impassioned kiss on my willing mouth. I bow into him, and happily return his affection.

  Falling backward, Jasper pulls me down with him so I’m lying on his hard chest. The feel of him underneath me is amazing, and I can’t help myself as I begin shaping my body around his. His sharp contours are caressing me in the right way, leaving me needy and wanting more.

  Jasper lets out a groan in his throat, which vibrates throughout my entire body. It’s been too long since I’ve felt his skin up against mine and I need it.

  I crave it.

  But I can’t. Not until I do some research to determine whether having sex is okay if or when pregnant, as I’m totally out of my field here.

  I need to stop this, and I need to stop this now.

  However, judging by the solid, thick length pressing into my side, stopping is going to be an issue.

  Jasper kisses my cheeks, nipping my jaw as he works his way down to my neck. His lips are scorching my skin and I fold, feeling him press up against me so deeply. I will want Jasper with my last breath, and saying no to him is killing me.

  His clever mouth is kissing my breasts through my thin t-shirt, and I close my eyes because watching him worship me is just too much. His hands slide down my body and slip under my denim skirt, and he begins rubbing me in a way that should be illegal in every state. When he passes his hand over my center, I arch into his touch, on fire.

  I want more, and Jasper senses my needs as he slips his index finger inside the waistband of my underwear, stroking over my wetness.

  He hisses a breath through his teeth. “I need to be inside you,” he says passionately.

  Throwing my head back, I whimper loudly, because his words, combined with the feel of his fingers, are about to tip me over the edge.

  I would like nothing more than to get lost in Jasper, but God dammit, I can’t.

  Gathering what little willpower I have left, I reach for Jasper’s belt, unbuckling it with unsteady fingers. Finally getting the thing undone, I snap open his top button and glide my hand into his pants, feeling him ready for me. He’s so hot under my hands and I mewl, enthusiastic to continue.

  I begin stroking him, his hand stills in my pants, which is what I wanted.

  “Holy shit, Ava,” he says huskily, arching into my grip. “You keep that up, and I’ll be useless to you.”

  Leaning down, I bite his lip softly. “That’s impossible.”

  Jasper will never be useless. He’s all that matters to me.

  I begin stroking him faster, from root to tip, and Jasper shudders with the contact. The look on his face is enough to set me off, and he’s not even touching me.

  He closes his eyes and tilts his head back, exposing a vulnerability that sets my heart alight. His lips are parted, and the tiny exhalations coming out of his upturned mouth give me an indication he’s about to come undone. He’s rolling his bottom lip between his top teeth, and every so often, his tongue darts out to moisten his lips.

  The sight of him about to explode because of me is one of the most erotic sights I have ever seen.

  His eyes snap open when I rub over his sensitive tip, and he looks up at me with stormy eyes. “What about you?”

  Smirking at him, I reply, “Don’t worry about me, I owe you.”

  And with that, I take my lover to a place he has taken me time and time again.

  The next morning, I wake to two of the most delicious scents known to mankind.

  Jasper and coffee.

  I crack open an eye but close it quickly, as the sun is peeking through a sliver in the curtain, blinding me. Turning my head into the pillow, I inhale deeply and sigh at my lover’s signature fragrance.

  Reopening my eyes, I realize I’m hogging the whole bed, as usual, as I’m sprawled out practically horizontal on it, with my head resting on Jasper’s pillow.

  Gosh, I love waking up to him. Well, at least I love waking up to the smell of him.

  Lifting my head, I turn to listen to the noise downstairs.

  I know Jasper is down there making me breakfast, and my heart skips a beat. How did I get so lucky? After everything we’ve been through, he has stuck by me and our love has prevailed.

  Placing my hand on my stomach, I sigh.

  “I hope when he finds out about you that won’t change,” I whisper to myself.

  When is the right time to tell him? And when will I be ready to tell him this life altering news? I know the right time will be when I get my ass to the doctor and confirm once and for all if I am actually pregnant.

  When that day comes, I better be ready, as I don’t know how long I can keep him out of my underwear without him getting suspicious.

  Throwing my arm over my face, I’m so frustrated at my inability to open up. This is just… so hard. How do people do this every day? Tell their partner they’re pregnant without clamming up and having a heart attack.

  My phone vibrates in my bag, thankfully interrupting my thoughts, and I reach over to see who it is.

  It’s Jasper.

  I made you waffles.

  How does he know I’m awake? I know how. Jasper has always had an uncanny sense of reading me—even when we first met. And this fact will sooner or later bite me in the ass if I don’t tell him I’m pregnant. Or pretty sure I am.

  He’ll figure it out, and I’d rather tell him myself than have him play twenty questions.

  Snapping me out of my funk, my phone beeps again.

  Hurry up, they’re getting cold ;)

  I can’t stop the huge smile spreading from cheek to cheek as I throw the covers off the bed, excited to see my boy.

  The Ramones t-shirt Jasper slept in is thrown on the floor, and I slip it over my head, seeing as I’m naked. Bringing the collar up to my nose, I inhale his fragrance and my mouth waters. Waffles be damned, I just want to eat Jasper for breakfast.

  I bounce down the stairs and as I turn the corner, I stop dead in my tracks, because what I’m faced with deserves my full attention and appreciation.

  Jasper, standing in his kitchen… topless.

  He has his back turned to me, and by the way his faded blue jeans sit low on his hips, I know he’s wearing nothing underneath.

  Oh God, that image has my heart galloping violently.

  His arms are braced against the counter, and he is leaning forward, watching his coffee spin circles in the microwave because he likes it scolding hot. His pose is doing amazing things to his back muscles, and I wish I could trace my finger over every hard, un
yielding, well-defined bump.

  My eyes travel of their own accord, focusing on his perfect ass. His butt will always remain a mystery to me. How it can appear hard and firm, but soft and supple under his smooth skin, always blows my mind.

  Enough with the looking, I need to get my hands on the piece of perfection in front of me.

  Skipping over to my man, I throw my hands around his waist, snuggling into his back.

  His deep throaty chuckle vibrates against my cheek, which is pressed up against his spine.

  “Mornin’,” he says, rubbing my hand with his.

  “Good morning,” I reply, kissing between his shoulder blades.

  I reluctantly let him go when the microwave dings, missing the connection instantly.

  He turns around to face me, and his eyes scan down my body. Of course I do the same to him.

  Wow, and I thought the back of him was impressive.

  “Nice shirt.” He smirks, dimples on parade.

  “Oh, this old thing,” I joke, picking at the hem.

  Jasper shakes his head, grinning at my stupidity.

  Peering over at his breakfast table, I suddenly get all giddy.

  “Aw, Jasper… did you do all this for me?” I ask, nodding towards the breakfast table filled with waffles, eggs, bacon, spreads, juice and coffee.

  And if that isn’t enough, a daisy sits in a tall glass in the center of the table.

  I look up at him, eyes wide. No one has ever been this nice to me before. And I feel a pang of guilt for not telling Jasper my news yet.

  Well, our news.

  I am so conflicted. Should I just tell him or wait? What if the results are negative and I’ve worried him for no reason at all?

  He runs his thumb between my brow, smoothing out my frown lines. “One of these days I will be able to figure out what’s going on behind these beautiful brown eyes of yours.”

  I hope that isn’t anytime soon, I internally mumble.

  “Where’s the fun in that?” I playfully reply, placing a chaste peck on his lips and strolling over to the table.

  Everything looks amazing and smells even better. I didn’t even realize how hungry I was until I sat down to all this food. Jasper has gone all out, and I can’t wait to dig in.

  Placing a bit of everything onto my plate, I burn my fingers when I pick up a piece of bacon and shove it into my mouth hungrily.

  “That’s hot,” I say, fanning my mouth with my hand.

  Jasper smirks, pouring me a glass of juice as he sits down near me. Taking a big sip, I feel his eyes on me, watching me closely. I nervously wipe my mouth, just in case I’m caked with juice and/or bacon.

  Peering over at him, his broad chest is taunting me with all its silky perfection and I nearly choke on my juice.

  Jasper arches a cocky eyebrow at me, knowing all too well the effect he has over me.

  “What?” I ask, finally giving up.

  “I’ve been thinking,” he simply replies.

  I gulp. “About what?”

  “What you said about my mom hating you.”

  I let out a relieved breath. Although, I guess that’s something I shouldn’t be relieved about.

  “Yeah, what about it?” I ask, wondering where he’s going with this.

  “Well, I think it’d be a good idea if we have dinner, just the three of us, so you can see how much she loves you.” He picks up his coffee cup and takes a sip, while I feel my bacon rising in my throat. “What do you think?” Jasper asks, grabbing my palm in both of his hands and kissing the back of my knuckles.

  My mouth pops open—he’s serious!

  I don’t know how to respond, because spending an evening being judged and sneered at is not my idea of a good time. But as I look up at him, into his warm affectionate eyes, how can I say no to him?

  “I love you, Ava. You’re my forever and a day.”

  His kind words cement what I have to do.

  “This is important to me,” he says quietly.

  Even though every part of me is saying no, I go against my better judgment.

  “Okay.”

  “Yeah?” he asks, his eyes widening in excitement.

  “Yeah,” I confirm.

  “Thank you, baby,” he says, placing another kiss on my knuckles. “I love you, and you’ll see that my mom loves you, too.”

  The hopeful gleam in his eyes warms my heart, and I’m happy I said yes.

  But in regards to his mom loving me?

  I won’t hold my breath.

  “Ava, tell me what you have done here,” asks Sally Spencer, looking at my chocolaty dessert, suitable for any woman PMSing.

  “It is a Chocolate Coconut Banoffee pie, but I’ve added a thicker bourbon biscuit base and two caramel layers. I have the usual creamy coconut topping and banana toffee for the filling,” I reply, proud of my creation.

  Sally nods happily. “Very good, Ava. Looks like my own personal piece of heaven.” That earns a chuckle from the class.

  The bell chimes, indicating class is over for the day.

  I have been back at CIA for two weeks, and it seriously feels like I never left. I have slipped back into my classes easily enough, but the workload is pretty intense, as I have to play catch up with courses I missed while my transfer was taking place.

  Grabbing my iPhone out of my backpack, I’m relieved that V has replied to my text about coming shopping with me this afternoon, because I really need her help in buying a gift. I have an idea with what I want to get Jasper for his birthday, which is five days away. It’s the gift I want to purchase for his mom, for this stupid dinner I agreed to go to tomorrow night, which has left me reeling.

  Quickly stuffing my books into my bag, I look up at the clock and curse, because V said she would pick me up at the front gates five minutes ago. I make a mad dash to tidy up my desk and am done in record time.

  Just as I reach the door, Sally asks, “Ava, can I have a word?”

  I spin back on my heels. “Sure.”

  I’m already late. What’s another couple more minutes?

  “What’s up?” I ask Sally, who is wrist deep in soapy water, cleaning up.

  She wipes her hands on her apron, and walks over to her desk.

  Sally is a kind-hearted soul, and I am forever in her debt. If it wasn’t for Sally and her string pulling, I’m not sure where I would be. She’s the reason I’m back here and not in Singapore.

  She pulls out a piece of paper from her top drawer and hands it to me.

  “What’s this?” I ask, skimming it over.

  “Read the bottom part,” she answers with a big smile on her round, delighted face.

  As I proofread it quickly, I snap my head back up at her.

  She gives me a warm smile. “I am to recommend a pupil who I believe would be best suited to work at Metropolis. It’ll be a full time position, starting once you’ve graduated.”

  “Why are you giving me this?” I inquire, but I know why.

  “Because I’m going to recommend you.”

  My mouth drops open because this is my dream come true.

  Metropolis is where people like me, people who treat food like art, only dream about working at. It is modern, hip, and stylish. Think the most classy, fashionable restaurant you’ve ever eaten at, bar the pretentious suits and snooty attitudes, and that is Metropolis.

  “Thank you, Sally!” I only just stop myself from throwing my arms around her and tackling her into a bear hug.

  “It’s okay, Ava. You’ve worked hard for it. There’s only one position available, and they are only interviewing five applicants from our school, so your chances are good. Once they make their decision, the lucky person will be head chef in New York,” she says animatedly, clapping her hands together happily.

  Whoa! What? New York!

  I quickly reread the fine print, and it indeed is for a position at a new Metropolis restaurant opening in New York.

  My heart sinks.

  I can’t uproot my life to N.Y.
, because it’s not just me this affects now.

  After I stomach that thought without breaking into tears, I give Sally a weak smile as I say, “Thank you, Sally, but I can’t accept this.”

  Sally looks stunned. “Oh, okay,” she says, clearly in shock at my refusal at this life altering opportunity. “May I ask why?”

  I can’t tell her the reason why. I can’t tell her that my Maybe Baby is my first and foremost responsibility from now on.

  So I settle with, “I just can’t leave L.A. It’s not a good time. I just got back, and I don’t plan on leaving.”

  Sally nods, but looks surprised that I would turn down such an offer. “Okay. This is entirely your choice, and I won’t push it. But please, will you at least give it some more thought? I don’t need to submit this for another two weeks.”

  Looking down at the piece of paper in front of me, I’m holding my dreams in my hand. And as I stare at the word New York, I know that dream is something I’ll never see come true.

  My future is my baby.

  But I humor Sally, not wanting to disappoint her after she has done so much for me. “Sure.”

  Folding up the piece of paper, I unzip my front pocket and stow it away in my backpack.

  “Thank you again, Sally,” I say, giving her a quick hug.

  And then I’m out the door before she witnesses my avalanche of tears.

  “Ava, what the hell happened now? Seriously, your life has more drama than an episode of Days of our Lives!” jokes V, as I’m sitting in her car trying, but obviously failing, at putting on a happy face.

  I have to tell someone as I feel like my life has turned to shit in the span of two days.

  “I got offered a job at Metropolis,” I mumble, looking out the window, watching L.A. flash before me.

  “Oh my God! Ava, that’s great,” V squeals.

  She stops at a red light, and when I haven’t replied, she looks over at me curiously.

  As she takes one look at my somber expression, she presses, “Isn’t it?”

  Nodding, I adjust my seatbelt as it suddenly feels like it’s choking the life out of me.