Kataomoi

by Hildred Billings

  “It’s fine.”

  “Wait, didn’t Reina used to be your girlfriend, Mio?” Kari scowled.

  If Aiko were any closer to Mio, the tension between them would stop their hearts. “Yes. Probably around that same time.”

  Her deep, melancholy voice shut the twins up.

  In all, the rest of the evening was not so bad. Once they steered away from the “amazing odds, only not really” that Aiko would be living with Mio’s ex-girlfriend, they descended into playing a card game in which the “chips” were pieces of chocolate. Meanwhile, the conversation lingered on Kari’s peculiar relationship with both a boyfriend and a girlfriend, and how they refused to get along for the twins’ upcoming birthday. “They both insist on popping naked out of a cake. It’s a shame they’re not sexually attracted to one another,” Kari explained.

  When it came time to disband and go their separate ways, Aiko thanked everyone for having her and expressed interest in joining again. That made Mio twitch, but the others slyly suggested they hold the next meeting at Aiko’s house – that made Mio turn blue in the face.

  Thus she gave her nothing more than a cold farewell as Aiko departed Yatsumi’s apartment and went home. She tried not to let one woman’s disdain bother her as she popped into a convenience store and bought a drink for the train ride home. And in the end, it wasn’t the disdain that put her into a stupor – it was the thought of Mio using her tongue on Reina.

  The train swerved around a corner. Aiko blinked away the image of Reina thrusting against Mio, brown hair cascading across the bed and glasses on the nightstand. Although Aiko had watched her girlfriend perform that very act on other women before, this image was different, for Aiko was not there. At some point there had been other women commanding most of Reina’s affection, and Aiko didn’t know how to process that. Let alone women who have been embittered by that relationship.

  Although it was only a little after ten when Aiko arrived home, the lights were off in the house except for in the bedroom. She scuttled inside, announcing her return, but took her shoes off to resounding silence.

  “Reina?” Aiko went into the kitchen to put her drink in the fridge. The dinner of cold soba noodles she left for Reina was consumed and the dishes left in the sink. Aiko turned off the light and went upstairs.

  She called Reina’s name again, stopping outside the bedroom door to give herself ample precedence. When she still heard nothing, she opened the door to have her heart stopped.

  Reina lay on her side, facing the balcony, dressed in nothing but a black T-shirt and matching shorts. An oscillating fan blew her hair up, but nothing else moved.

  Until she mumbled in her sleep and drew her legs up into the fetal position, Aiko was obliged to believe her girlfriend dead. Her heart beat again.

  She worked so hard this week. Since announcing the race to a promotion, Reina insisted she would work overtime and never stop to rest. That lasted about two days until she came home Thursday night deader than a corpse. It was the first night of their cohabitation that she did not ask Aiko for sex.

  “Oyasumi,” she said, and kissed her girlfriend on the forehead. Reina never mumbled a good night back, but she squirmed, and that was enough for Aiko.

  As she lay on her back she imagined a different timeline in which a different woman took her spot in that bed. The last thing Aiko wondered before drifting off to sleep was why Reina never talked about her exes.

  “What was she like?”

  Reina rolled her head from where it once leaned against the sliding glass door. Her girlfriend sat on the other side of the room, behind the confounded table she claimed was still slightly off angle. “What was who like?”

  Aiko folded the edge of a magazine. “Mio. Your ex-girlfriend.”

  The name conjured the image of a young woman slumped on the floor. Reina blinked it away before it could consume her. “Why do you care? She was a long time ago. Before you.”

  “I’m curious. I see her around a lot now, and she seems to resent me.”

  “Ah.” A blur whizzed by the window in the form of a little girl on her bicycle. Two houses down her mother tended to her humble garden, taking the occasional moment to shout, “Slow down!” and “Be careful!” every time the girl rode by. Until then Reina had been enjoying a sunning session in her jeans and T-shirt. The air conditioner kept them cool enough indoors, but the heat emanating off the glass lulled Reina into a doze. After such a hard week at work, she figured she deserved the reprieve.

  “Reina? Did you hear me?”

  Her mouth twitched. “I heard you.”

  “Well?”

  In times like those, all Reina could do was fling her hands between her legs. “She’s just an ex.”

  “Do you remember her family name?”

  A green dinosaur popped up in Reina’s imagination. “Yoshioka.”

  “Ho! You remember her full name! You never remember any woman’s name!”

  That made Reina’s skin crawl. I know I suck at names, but come on! “She was my girlfriend. I made a point to remember it.” She leaned her head against the window again. The little girl on her bicycle breezed by in the other direction.

  Paper crinkled as Aiko cleaned up a candy bar wrapper. The promise of chocolate roused Reina’s senses – she figured she was on the verge of menstruation, which meant chocolate would replace sex for a few days. However, it was gone, and the little girl shot back toward her mother down the street.

  “I get the feeling it wasn’t a mutual breakup.” Aiko stopped by the trash can before wandering in Reina’s direction.

  She shrugged. “I dumped her. I dumped all my ex-girlfriends.”

  “Why?”

  Now she saw Mio, her soft hair draping on the floor as she sobbed into the tatami. “She wanted to be exclusive and I couldn’t handle it.”

  Aiko sat next to her. “You still can’t.”

  “But you haven’t tried to force me to be someone I’m not.”

  “No.” Aiko leaned her head on Reina’s shoulder. She’s the one I’ve been with the longest. Before Aiko, who had thus far lasted five years, girlfriends came and only stuck around for a couple of months. Usually until their novelty ran out, resulting in Reina getting antsy for other women while her girlfriend-of-the-day threw a fit over it. Fuck monogamy. Before meeting Aiko, Reina decided any relationship she got into again would be open. Aiko was the most unlikely candidate for that, but as of then she had handled it with many smiles.

  “I haven’t thought about Mio in a long time,” Reina said. The little girl attempted to pop a wheelie on her bicycle.

  Aiko stirred beside her. “Was she…you know…good at it?”

  “Good at…oh, you mean in bed.”

  “Well, yes. I don’t think you would call a woman your girlfriend that you didn’t enjoy sleeping with.”

  For the first time in hours, Reina laughed. The spasms were cruel to her aching muscles. “She was good. Very passionate.” Now the images were of them in a love hotel together, Mio declaring Reina the best she ever had. It wasn’t mutual. “You’re better.” Reina had yet to tire of Aiko in the bedroom, if their two week fuck-fest was any indication. I don’t think I ever will.

  Aiko seemed content with that response. Yet she asked, “How did you start dating her?”

  “What is this, a random interrogation?” Reina instantly regretted her words. “I mean, it was a long time ago. She was the last woman I dated before you. We met at a bar, and ended up hooking up enough times that I think she developed a crush on me. I was stupid enough to say I would try a casual relationship with her.” She shivered. Mio. The memories were coming back to her faster and harder than the way she had been giving it to Aiko lately. “Don’t let her bother you. If she’s jealous, there isn’t much you can do about it.”

  Bestowed by a welcomed blessing, Aiko no longer pried into Reina’s old relationships. She busied herself with some last minute cleaning in the living area, mumbling to herself about vacuum cleaners and
dusters. In the street, the little girl on her bicycle swerved out of the way of a toddler boy, followed by his waddling mother.

  “Oi, they’re here.” Reina rolled away from the glass door. One second later, she was out in the hallway, falling over in the genkan to open the front door before their guests arrived.

  “Ohisashiburi!” Aiko hugged her cousin, Shizuka, before the woman made her way through the door. They exchanged more “long time no sees,” before Reina was summoned to say hello and take the plastic bag of kiwis. The first thing she noticed – besides the little boy trailing behind in his light-up sneakers – was the eye-bulging girth of Shizuka’s swollen stomach.

  “Gah, you’re still here!” Her caustic smile was as familiar as Aiko’s kisses. She was the one who introduced Reina to her girlfriend five years ago, when they worked together in the theater business. As far as Reina knew, Shizuka was also the first to find out about her cousin’s sudden homosexuality. A tingle blasted through Reina’s cheek as she recalled the slap Shizuka had given her that night. “Hasn’t my cousin realized what a flake you are yet?”

  Reina returned Shizuka’s weak hug before she slipped out of her sandals. Her son toddled after her, tripping over a boot and landing in Aiko’s waiting arms. “She may have figured it out by now, but thankfully she hasn’t thought to get rid of me.” She poked Shizuka’s stomach. “Haven’t you figured out how that happens yet?”

  “Yeah, yeah, off with the penises.” She commanded her son closer and lifted him up the giant step before him. “It’s not my fault a condom broke twice.”

  It probably is. Something Reina loved about being a lesbian was that she didn’t have to worry about getting pregnant. Nor did she have to use those pesky condom things, unless guests were involved with some of the toys upstairs. Shizuka, on the other hand, was apparently inept at prophylactics, if her unplanned pregnancy two years before meant anything. One shotgun marriage later and she was now the proud wife of a man who happened to have the same last name as her – no blood relation, of course. Maybe.

  Aiko escorted the toddler into the living area while Reina watched Shizuka waddle like a fat duck behind them. “Be nice to Auntie Aiko!” she barked, her hand catching on the doorway to retrieve her balance. Thank God that will never be me.

  Their visit was not a lengthy one, since Shizuka was on her way home from the doctor, but it was long enough for Reina to tire of their presence. She was especially not fond of the toddler clobbering into the furniture, nor of the way Aiko cooed over him when he started crying for his mother’s attention. His first shriek was awful enough to crack a window and made Reina sputter into her tea.

  Eventually, the kid fell asleep in Shizuka’s lap, head on her humongous belly. The conversation returned to birthing stories after that, and Reina was inclined to crawl under the table and cover her ears before hearing another “And then my taint ripped!” tale.

  “What are you going to name this one?” Aiko asked.

  The weight of the world was on Shizuka’s shoulders and crammed into her stomach. “My husband and I have been fighting about that. Well, not fighting, but unable to agree on anything. He wants to name the baby Wataru, but that makes me think of that boy from middle school who pulled my shorts down in gym class.” She bristled. “I want to name it Daichi, because it’s huge and I want the world to know how ridiculously big he is.”

  “But you agreed on his name so easily.” Aiko patted the toddler’s head.

  “He had a best friend growing up named Ren who drowned in high school. It was easy for us to agree on.”

  Reina’s ears perked up for the first time since hearing about mucus plugs. “Wait, that kid’s name is Ren?”

  Aiko stifled a giggle, and Shizuka fluttered her eyelashes as if nothing was odd about her son’s name. “Yes. Is there a problem?”

  Glaring at her, Reina crumpled her handkerchief. “Wasn’t that the name Ai-chan bequeathed me when she was telling you that she was dating a man?” Those early days of their relationship sure had been fun.

  “So? It’s also the name of my husband’s dead best friend.”

  No matter how much Shizuka tried to pass it off as mere coincidence, Reina saw the tells of a smile and the general smugness Aiko’s cousin exuded when being an ass. She wouldn’t. Then again, Shizuka had that kind of streak in her. She would.

  “Come on, Reina, it’s just a name.” Aiko collected the discarded tea paraphernalia onto a porcelain tray. “It’s not like it’s your name.”

  “No, only something I was called for a while.”

  Aiko’s motions slowed. “I told you a long time ago I was sorry about that.”

  “Whatever happened to ‘Ren,’ anyway?” Shizuka helped her cousin load up the tea tray. “One day you were telling everybody you were dating a boy named Ren, and then suddenly he disappeared once this one made you her girlfriend.” She shoved her thumb in Reina’s direction.

  The tray clattered against the table. “I told my mother that there wasn’t anybody named Ren. As far as anybody but you knows, I haven’t dated anyone since then.”

  “Ehhh.” Shizuka shook her head. “I bet your mother’s loved that.”

  “She never shuts up about it,” Reina mumbled. Every time she visited the Takeuchi house under the guise of Aiko’s best friend, Junko would pry into their love lives and bemoan the fact that neither of them had boyfriends. Sometimes Aiko would withhold the truth and say she was going on a date, but never mention it was with Reina. Lunch at the café and sex in the love hotel. Now they could skip right to the sex in their own bed. Although still sore from the previous week, Reina was certain she could take her girlfriend for a passionate round in the sack later.

  “Speaking of my honored aunt, she said she would bring some more fruit when she comes by later.”

  Reina tried to control her grimacing. Just what I need. Her. In my house. What good were days off for if they were consumed with wily old witches?

  The current visitation ended ten minutes later, when little Ren woke up and promptly started screaming. His voice pealed straight into Reina’s ear and left her immobile deep in her bones. Aiko, on the other hand, offered swift, baby-talking condolences and Shizuka yawned. Another vein-popping shriek drove Reina out of the living area, tea tray in her hands.

  Ren continued to fill his lungs with death and destruction all the way into the genkan, where he slapped his hands against the floor and banged his head into the door. Shizuka made an off-hand comment about “why am I having another one?” before slipping into her sandals and taking her howler monkey into the street. Relative peace descended in the kitchen once the door closed again.

  Reina didn’t return to the living area until Aiko came back inside. “I’m glad I don’t have one of those right now,” she said, cleaning up the newspapers and other paperwork on the table.

  Her girlfriend decided to forget she heard “right now.” I can’t knock her up, so what does it matter? Instead she gazed at Aiko, eyes outlining the sweaty curves of her bare thighs as she bent over in her skirt. Desire swelled inside Reina’s throat.

  “Ai-chan,” she said, creeping behind her girlfriend. She slipped her hands over the brunt of Aiko’s rear. “Having guests in the house makes me really appreciate our privacy.”

  “Mou.” Aiko finished piling up the papers and stood, hand beating back Reina’s. “They’re not gone for five minutes and you already want to do it.”

  She grinned. “Is it that obvious?”

  “Yes!”

  “So?” Reina wrapped her arms around her girlfriend’s waist. “Let’s do it.”

  Aiko covered her smile with the back of her hand, but did not tell her girlfriend to stop. Reina placed one tentative kiss on her forehead before leaving a trail of heavier kisses down her neck. Meanwhile, her hands roamed the expanse of Aiko’s back, plummeting down her skirt and pinching her soft – oh so soft – rear. That stoked Reina’s desire into a hypnotic flame burning inside her gut.

  �
��You know, I’ve been thinking.” Seeing the tenderness on her girlfriend’s visage made Reina weak like this. “About what you said the other day…wanting to stay home to take care of the house…” She nuzzled Aiko’s cheek. “If I get this promotion, which I should, I’ll be making enough money to support us both and save on the side. Maybe it won’t be so hard on us if you don’t get a part-time job.”

  Eyes glittering, Aiko bit her bottom lip to contain her elation. “Truly?” Her voice fluctuated between an awed whisper and a loving tone. “Oh! Thank you!” She clobbered into Reina’s body, squeezing the breath out of her and crushing her ribs. “I will do my best to be a productive person here at home! I’ll make our favorite foods every day and make sure you have everything you need to do well at work!”

  Reina scoffed – and yet, looking at Aiko’s frivolity gave her pride. “You make it sound like you are a housewife now…”

  “Well, I am! In a way.” Aiko released her death grip. “Nee, why is it so different just because we’re both women?”

  “I suppose it’s not, really.” And with that, Reina kissed her.

  The ache in her muscles melted away, only to be replaced with a new ache: the throbbing torture of yearning. When she slipped her tongue into Aiko’s mouth, her girlfriend responded with a smack to the rear. “You naughty girl! My mother will be here soon!”

  That was almost enough to kill Reina’s libido. But she had tasted Aiko’s lips, smelled her skin, and rubbed her face against her hair. Sex was inevitable now. “There’s time for a quickie.” She licked Aiko’s cheek as if it were ice cream.

  “Maybe…” The skin beneath Reina’s tongue turned as pink as Aiko’s T-shirt. “If we’re really quick…”

  Give me five minutes, my tongue and my fingers, and I’ll have you screaming into your pillow again. Quickies weren’t the most fun, but they got the job done. At the very least, Reina would be tranquil enough to get through a visit from Junko.

  She attempted to lift Aiko off the floor – that only resulted in lifting her T-shirt, and soon they fell into each other’s arms, kissing, biting, and clawing one another like rabid wolves. The best part about the oncoming lovemaking was that their union couldn’t produce the child Reina swore she still heard screeching at the train station a ten minute walk away.