Big Spankable Asses

by Lisa G Riley

  Hello, Ma’am. My name is Clarence John, but my friends call me C.J. I’m hoping that you and I can become friends!

  “Ooh, isn’t that nice?” Lilliana carefully bit into her enchilada and continued to read.

  The minute I read your ad in the personal, I knew I had to answer! I, too, am a Boy Scout of America and was thrilled when I saw this ad!

  What the…

  Now, I’m not sure what you want me to do, but ma’am, I’m up for the challenge. The Scout’s motto is to be prepared at all times for all things! I’ve been a member of the Scouts for over thirty years and I’ve lived this motto for just as long!

  “Okaaay…”

  I’ve got some nice new rope and know just how to use it! My last one got really frayed with my ex-girlfriend. If only she’d just sat still! Anyway, recently, as a senior scout leader, I’ve learned a variety of new knots that I’d love to try on you guaranteed that you wouldn’t be able to escape from! I also have some really good, secure hand and mouth restraints, ball gag, the works, that I’d love to put on you!

  “Oh no the hell you won’t, you damn freak.” Lilliana deleted the message so fast she almost hurt herself. “I don’t know if I should laugh or call the damn cops on his strange behind!” When she saw that there was one more message she almost deleted it without looking at it. “Oh, well, it’ll be good for a laugh anyway…or a good long cry.”

  This one had a normal e-mail address so that was one point in his favor. She reluctantly opened the e-mail, almost afraid to read what this one had to say.

  Hello, Miss. I’m not quite sure how to start this. In fact I have to admit that I feel a little silly.

  Lilliana chewed her food thoughtfully, swallowed and continued reading.

  To be honest, I wouldn’t have ever come across this ad had it not been by pure chance. But since I’m a man who believes in chance and destiny and star-crossed lovers…

  Lilliana laughed out loud at that part.

  That was the part that you were supposed to laugh at, ha ha.

  She laughed again.

  I knew I had to answer the ad. I’m a normal guy. At least my mother says I am. I’m six foot, two and a half inches. (I claim the half inch because I have three older brothers who beat the crap out of me growing up and the half inch gave me the edge a few times.) I have a pretty good job doing what I like to do, make money.

  Hmmm, nothing wrong with that!

  I like to read, like to collect miniatures…oh hell. I probably shouldn’t have written that. Now you probably think I’m gay, huh? Strike that. I collect fifties sitcom memorabilia…Damn! That was the wrong answer too, I can feel you laughing!

  Lilliana was laughing so hard, her side hurt.

  I work out and go to all sporting events, particularly world wrestling matches, like to go boating and fishing, among other manly pursuits—how about that? Is that better?

  “Loads!” Lilliana said out loud and laughed when she read the next line.

  Yeah, I thought so too! As I was saying…I found your ad purely by accident and was intrigued. I would love to meet you. But according to your ad, I have to figure out what BSA stands for, right?

  Heck, even if he guessed wrong, at this point Lilliana was willing to overlook that part, this one sounded like a winner. She was left with her mouth wide open as she finished reading the e-mail.

  At first I thought…hmmm? What could it be? Bright Shiny Apples? Then I thought that didn’t make any sense! Okay how about Big Sweet Apples? No? What about Bodacious Succulent Apples? Oh hell. Why did I try and figure this out on an empty stomach? Well, let me go out on a limb here…Big Spankable Ass? If any of the answers are correct call me. My phone number is 555-0860. But even if I’m wrong, call me. Please:)

  ~Josh

  Oh my. He’d answered right. Lilliana had been so busy cracking up at his apple answers that she was totally left speechless when she read the right answer. How in the world did he guess? Her lunchtime conversation with Lee surfaced in her mind and she remembered him saying how many folks were into spankings in Chicago! Was this Josh one of them? How else would he have come up with big spankable ass?

  She logged off the ’net but not before she’d jotted down his phone number. She quickly went to her side table, picked up the cordless phone, and punched in his phone number, not wanting to give herself time to think and chicken out. Yes, he’d find out her number if he had caller ID, but nothing else, no address or anything like that. She couldn’t be found in the reverse directory. As the phone rang, the nervous feeling in the pit of her stomach increased to the point that she felt physically sick and was tempted to hang the phone up and forget the whole thing until she heard a deep voice answer.

  “Hello, this is Josh. I’m not in at the moment. Leave a message. Thanks!”

  She almost laughed out loud in relief. Okay, so it wasn’t meant to be. No way was she going to leave a message. She hung up the phone. The sick feeling in her stomach receded as she lay back against the pillows on her bed.

  She turned and curled around the soft body pillow and looked out the large window in her bedroom. What in the world had convinced her to take out that ad in the first place? Loneliness and stupidity were an ugly combination.

  She stared out the window, at the pretty lit-up garden in the backyard of the mansion that the cottage belonged to. A lone tear escaped and fell down her cheek. Lilliana smiled a small half-smile and closed her eyes and eventually fell asleep.

  5

  Josh was too impatient to wait for the elevator and instead took the stairs two at a time until he got to the sectioned-off area that led to his large, open bay loft. He wanted to know if Lilliana had responded to his e-mail, but after work his mother had decided she needed him to drive out to her home, way out in Winnetka, to help her move her sofa.

  Josh had reluctantly driven out and, with more speed than he’d thought humanly possible, had helped her rearrange two rooms of furniture, listened to her lament about how his oldest brother Landon rarely came to visit anymore, among a host of other complaints such as the recently released scientific data stating that as a man entered his thirties, his sperm count was greatly reduced.

  He’d moved the furniture, commiserated with her about Landon, and reassured her that his sperm count wasn’t in jeopardy, before he’d finally left and raced home, making it by ten o’clock.

  After he’d let himself into his loft, he headed toward the kitchen and the cold beer in the fridge. He tossed his keys on the center butcher block table and grabbed a beer before going to his computer in his den.

  The loft was split-level and over 3,000 square feet, smack in the middle of the Gold Coast near the lake. He’d paid the hefty, half mil fee for the loft with the money from one of his more lucrative commissions, with no help from his uncle.

  Joshua was grateful for all that Allen had done for him, but at times he felt uneasy about accepting the handouts, as his brother Landon liked to call them. Although he disagreed with Landon and didn’t see them as handouts, he knew his brother said it to screw with him.

  He worked hard and was good at what he did, and in his time with the firm, he’d added to their reputation as aggressive brokers who knew how to generate profit.

  Besides that, their father had helped make the firm what it was today, as their uncle was always quick to acknowledge, and if he were still around things would be…different.

  Shit. No use thinking about what could be and why the hell it wasn’t. His father wasn’t around. End of subject. Hadn’t been since he was a kid and there was no use rolling down that particular memory lane. Right now he was curious about whether or not the sexy admin assistant had answered his e-mail, and done with thinking about painful memories best left in the past.

  Once inside his den he flicked on the overhead track lights, picked up the small remote on the edge of the desk and pressed a button. Music filled the entire loft from hidden speakers in each room. With the heart-pounding lyrics and bass of Lenny Kravi
tz to pump him up, he sat down at his desk and touched one of the keys on his wireless keyboard. His large screen filled with his home page on the Internet within seconds.

  He saw the envelope icon telling him he had mail and clicked on it, searching for one from Lilliana Michaels. Within minutes of reading junk mail, and stupid forwards he’d patiently asked his mother to stop sending him that demanded he forward the stupid forward to ten people in the next ten minutes…he stifled the feelings of acute disappointment when he didn’t see an e-mail from her.

  Maybe someone else had already answered the ad and he’d been too late. Or maybe she’d actually called him. His glance fell to his cordless phone that set on his desk. He picked it up and pressed the dial tone, but when he didn’t hear the static tone that indicated he had a voice mail, he pressed the end button. Then he noted that he had several new caller ID notifications and out of curiosity he scrolled down and stopped and smiled.

  L. Michaels. 555-1914.

  Hot damn. She’d called.

  Josh sat back in his desk chair and swiveled around with his fingers steepled together. Should he wait to see if she’d call him back? He looked over at the grandfather clock in the corner. It was already 10:15. Maybe she’d think it was too late to call. Or maybe she’d chickened out and decided not to go through with it.

  He doubted that. No way could someone come up with an ad asking a man if he knew what to do with a big spankable ass and be afraid to leave a message. Or would she? Maybe someone put her up to it, or it was all a joke.

  Best way to find out was to call her and see if she was all bluff or if she was serious. He quickly pressed the button for last call return and ignored the unsettled feeling in his stomach as he waited for her to answer the phone.

  The jarring of the phone woke Lilliana out of a light doze and after she wiped her mouth with the back of her hand, she answered with a croaky, “’ello.”

  “Hello, is this L. Michaels?” a man asked in a voice so deep and sexy, Lilliana woke up completely and bumped her head against her wrought iron headboard in her haste to sit up.

  “Ouch!” she said and rubbed her head.

  “Are you okay?” deep and sexy asked.

  “Uh, yes. I’m fine. Thanks. This is Lilliana Michaels…may I help you?” She squinted her eyes in the dark of the room to search out the time on her alarm clock, afraid she’d somehow overslept and was late getting up for work. When she saw the time she breathed a sigh of relief. She must have fallen asleep after she’d spoken to Melinda.

  “Hi, Lilliana. My name is Joshua. Josh Ellis.”

  It took a minute for the name to register and when it did Lilliana gasped. “The guy who answered my ad, right?”

  “What ad? Oh! The big spankable…” He left the last word off and Lilly felt her cheeks heat with embarrassment. “You’re the woman who placed the ad in the Reader—I was wondering who you were. You called but didn’t leave a message. I’ve been getting a lot of that lately and just decided to call back. Why didn’t you leave a message? Did I answer the ad correctly?” He asked the questions back to back.

  Lilliana had to clear her head. He had caller ID—well, who didn’t? But he didn’t have her address and she wasn’t going to give it to him.

  “Yes, yes you did. I called but…”

  “Chickened out and decided not to leave a message?”

  “No-o,” she dragged the word out. “I wouldn’t say that.”

  “No?” He laughed and his laugh was as deep and sexy as his voice. Either it had been way too long since she’d gotten any, or she was one nasty heffa, as she felt moist between her legs from the way he teased her.

  She laughed with him, reluctantly. “Okay, maybe I did.” She suddenly felt a bit more at ease with the conversation. “And yes, you did answer the ad right,” she finished.

  “So what’s my prize? I believe the ad mentioned the game beginning? I can’t tell you what type of images that brought to mind,” he said.

  “Oh really? Well, I hadn’t gone that far in my thinking. I didn’t expect anyone to guess it! And after all of your apple answers…”

  “Yeah, sorry about that. Like I said in the e-mail, I was hungry when I read it.”

  “Sure you were!” she laughed and continued, “I was surprised when you guessed right. How did you come up with the right answer?”

  “I’m kinky. It comes naturally for my mind to think along those lines,” he said. She could have sworn he was laughing although his voice was perfectly normal-sounding.

  “Kinky? Just how kinky are we talking? Whips, chains—what?” She held her breath waiting to see if he’d confirm her worst fears and say he was some kind of freaky-ass dominant, like the ones Lee had enlightened her about over lunchtime. After he’d told her about spankings he’d gone on a long diatribe about the whole BDSM lifestyle that had scared the mess out of her. Although…

  The idea of this sexy-voiced man tying her up and doing some of the things Lee told her about filled her with a strange expectation that made no sense at all.

  “No, none of that. I’m more into the sweeter side of submission.” He laughed again. Lilliana couldn’t tell from his voice if he were joking with her or serious. “What about you? I gather from your ad that you’ve been…spanked before?”

  Josh waited to hear what she’d say. He was hoping the luscious beauty was into spankings, because she’d captured his attention from the minute he’d set eyes on her. He conjured up the image of her sweet, round ass swaying in the full peasant skirt, which in turn had his imagination running wild with how he’d like to slap that ass and then kiss it till it wasn’t sore anymore.

  He wasn’t into the BDSM scene, by any stretch of the imagination, he just enjoyed a bit of light bondage and spanking and he hoped that she did also. With that nice, full round ass of hers…he longed to feel how soft and smooth it was as he smacked her ass and plunged his dick deep inside her warm pussy.

  After a significant pause she answered in her soft voice, “No. I’ve never been spanked. I’ve been…hit, but I didn’t like it.” Her laugh was in no way humorous.

  Her words made him pause as well. That didn’t sound good. He wasn’t sure if she was playing a game or not, but it sounded as though she’d been hurt. “It can be good with the right person, Lilliana. In the right situation. And a light spanking is a hell of a lot different than someone hitting you. But you have to feel comfortable with it. It definitely can’t be forced on you. I would never do something to a woman that she didn’t want done.”

  “That’s good to know,” was all that she said.

  “Can I ask you a question?” As they’d been speaking, Josh had carried the phone into his bedroom and had removed his clothes as they spoke and was now lying down, naked, on top of the light quilt.

  “Sure.”

  “Why did you take out an ad with that acronym if you’re not into spankings?”

  She paused before answering. “As a lark, I guess. Partially. I don’t know.” Could he hear the nervousness in her voice? “Like I said, I didn’t think anyone would answer.”

  “Well, I did. So where do we go from here?” As he spoke to her, he cradled the phone between his shoulder and ear, and lay propped against a few pillows.

  “Where do you want to go?”

  “I don’t think you’re ready to hear that yet.” He laughed at her and laughed even harder when she answered, “nasty ass,” and then giggled. Damn, she had a cute giggle. She sounded all of fifteen years old, but he knew for certain she was over the age of consent.

  “You’d be surprised,” she said and his interest was piqued even more. During their twenty-minute conversation she had already presented an intriguing mixture of innocence and naughtiness that had him ready to explore which side of her would show up in bed. He could only imagine what a combination of the two would be.

  “Would you go out on a date with me, Lilliana?”

  “A date?” she asked. He refrained from commenting on her clear surprise
. From the words and the way she said it, she obviously thought he just wanted to fuck her. Spank her and fuck her, to be precise. Not that he didn’t want to do both, but he found himself wanting to do more than that with her.

  “Yes, Lilliana, a date.”

  “Like where?”

  “How about the Navy Pier Friday?” As soon as he said it, he remembered the new client that his uncle had assigned to him. He was supposed to meet with the man after work on Friday. No way in hell could he get out of it this soon, although for once the thought of making money didn’t hold as much appeal as the desire to get to know a woman.

  “That sounds like fun. I haven’t been to the Pier in ages.” She sounded so excited that he wanted to groan.

  “I’m sorry, Lilliana, I have a commitment Friday that it’s too late to get out of. I completely forgot. How about something later? Saturday or Sunday?”

  “That’s fine. Saturday will work for me. During the day. At the Pier?”

  “That works for me. What time is best? How about noon? We can get something to eat there.” They agreed on the time and meeting point. They also described what they would be wearing and Josh gave her his cell phone number just in case. When she described herself, he almost laughed out loud.

  “I’m short, about five feet three inches, African American, dark brown skin. My eyes are my best feature, I think. They’re light brown but they’re kind of big. I wear my hair natural and it’s kind of curly. Nappy curly, I guess,” she coughed and continued. “Ummm. I think that’s it. Sorry, I must sound pretty average to you.”

  “You sound beautiful to me,” he said sincerely. He already knew what she looked like. He figured that either she was being modest or she really didn’t know how beautiful she was.

  “I’m tall, and since you say that you’re five feet three inches, I’m almost a foot taller than you, and dorky,” he said. She cracked up laughing. “What? I’m serious. I’m six feet, two inches tall, my hair is dark blond, my eyes are dark blue, and I wear a size twelve shoe…which I’ve been told makes up for all dorkiness.” He waited. After a short pause, it dawned on her what he was implying.