Veiled Innocence

by Ella Frank

  Without saying a word, I opened the door and left Miss Shrieve’s office.

  * * *

  Present…

  “What’s in the envelope?”

  Lifting the yellow rectangle, Doc hands it to me.

  “It’s for you.”

  I start to open it, but he puts his hand over mine. “Nope. Not yet.”

  “Not yet?”

  “Nope.”

  He removed his hand, and I put the envelope on the bench between us and sighed. “Okay, O wise one.”

  “Ah! There’s your sense of humor!” Bringing a hand to his chest, Doc admits, “That does very good things to this old heart.”

  “You aren’t that old.”

  “Is that right?”

  “Yep. You’re only as old as you feel.”

  “And how old do you feel, Addy?”

  “Nice one. How long did you think about that before you threw it in there?”

  “Last night and this morning. But…back to the question. How old do you feel?”

  I stretch my legs out in front of me and then shrug. “I feel like a child here. Someone is always telling me what to do.”

  “Well, you know why. They just want to—”

  “I know. Make sure I don’t hurt myself or anyone else,” I finish for him. “I don’t want to hurt anyone, not anymore.”

  “Why?”

  “Look where it got me,” I tell him, gesturing around us.

  “Sitting on a bench with me on a nice sunny day? Could be worse.”

  “Locked up. I mean it got me locked up.”

  “Hmm…”

  “There you go again.”

  Pointing to the envelope, he says, “Open it.”

  Picking it up, I unseal it and pull out what’s inside. There in my hands is the smiling face of Brandon Williams.

  Standing all around him are members of his new track team, and he is front and center, beaming at the camera. I can feel the anger I’d forgotten for days start to bubble up inside me. The picture had been featured in the Sunday newspaper and stated that Brandon Williams was now the National 100-meter dash champion.

  My head snaps around to Doc, and fuming, I get to my feet.

  “What the fuck is this?”

  “Addy, please. Watch the language.”

  “Explain. Why would you give me this?” I demand, shoving the article back at him. He takes it from me as he stands, but before I can pull my hand back he takes ahold of it.

  “He hurt people. Didn’t he?”

  “You know he did. They already told you when I was admitted here what happened.”

  I don’t understand. Why is Doc throwing this in my face? I don’t want to know about Brandon. I don’t care about him. I don’t care about—

  “But he’s happy. Just look at him.”

  “I thought I could trust you!” I shout. He’s hurt me just when I thought I didn’t have any feelings left to hurt.

  “You can,” he tells me. I shake my head, quite adamant he is lying.

  “Listen to me. You can’t let these people continue to have such a hold over you. Use your head, not your heart. Make yourself want it. Crave it, not some illusion, Addison.”

  The use of my proper name pulls me from my angry haze. “Make myself want what? You aren’t making any sense.”

  Letting me go, Doc points to the paper in my hand. “What he has. Freedom.”

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  Past…

  “Addison!”

  I stopped walking and saw Grayson at the far end of the hall. The bell for lunch had rung and I was planning to step out and take the hour in my car, by myself—where I could try and get my usual facade back in place.

  Miss Shrieve had been insinuating too much and asking too many questions—too many potentially damaging questions. They weren’t damaging for me but they would be for the man now striding down the hall in my direction.

  I waited off to the side where my locker was and watched several students greet Mr. McKendrick as he passed them. It wasn’t unusual for a teacher to need to see a student, but I knew from the look in his eyes that it had nothing to do with school.

  When he stopped an acceptable distance from me, he asked, “Where are you going? We need to talk.”

  “We do? Why?”

  Checking to make sure no one was within earshot, he asked in a hushed tone, “What is going on with you today?”

  Not quite sure what to say, I couldn’t bring myself to look at him. “Nothing.”

  “Bullshit,” he hissed.

  He was right. It was bullshit.

  He gestured to the small alcove at the end of the lockers, and I obeyed without protest. After talking to Doc, I realized that I’d been using Grayson for my own selfish reasons and giving nothing but pain in return.

  It was time to free him from my burdens.

  “You’ve shut down. I want to know why.”

  Refusing to draw this out any longer but knowing this wasn’t the time or the place to get into it, I said, “Maybe I’ve realized a few things.”

  It sounded ridiculous even to my own ears.

  He must have thought so too because his mouth pulled into a grim line, and the emotions swirling in his eyes were oscillating between anger and concern.

  “Oh yeah, like what?”

  I swallowed, and gestured between us. “That this—”

  “Yes?” he interrupted, his cutting tone and his expression making this much more difficult than I expected it to be.

  “This is going to hurt you,” I stressed on a whisper.

  As if he’d forgotten where we were, Grayson stepped forward, forcing me back against the wall and demanded, “Is that so? And who finally made you understand this? Because it sure as hell wasn’t me when I was telling you no.”

  “Doc,” I supplied instantly.

  Grayson’s eyes widened as he rubbed his fingers over his lips. “You told him about us?”

  “No,” I answered, horrified he would think such a thing.

  Unable to help himself, he lowered his face until it was close to mine. I was about to remind him where we were when he fumed, “Then what the fuck are you talking about, Addison?”

  “You need to back up,” I warned, looking from side to side. “Anyone could see us.”

  “Shit,” he cursed and stood back up straight.

  “I don’t want to be something that you look at and hate. I can’t be that to you, not when you are the opposite to me. I’m bad for you. Poison,” I finally told him.

  There, I couldn’t get much more honest than that. He began pacing and then came back to stop in front of me. “No, you’re not.”

  “Yes,” I disagreed. “I am.”

  “So, what? That’s it? You’re just going to walk away?” he asked, his face showing his incredulity. “After finally getting what you want, you’re done?”

  “No,” I denied, his fury making my heart hurt.

  I didn’t want to be doing this, but I was trying to do the right thing for a change, couldn’t he see that?

  “I’m going to finish school and hope you still—”

  “That I still what, Addison? I’ve been telling myself how fucking wrong this is from the very beginning and I still haven’t stayed away.” Then he did the unthinkable. He touched my hair, stroking his fingers over the curls. “I can’t stay away.”

  I could feel tears in my eyes as the full impact of that tiny gesture here, where it could hurt him most, showed the depth of his emotions.

  “You need to try. Let me do this. It’s the right thing. For both of us.”

  Pulling his hand back, he pushed it into his pocket.

  “Too many people are watching. You’ll only get hurt being connected to me.”

  He shook his head, clearly frustrated. “Like who?”

  “Brandon.”

  “I don’t give a fuck about him,” he spat, and the venom in that statement showed just how far we’d come. In the beginning, Grayson had denied any
jealousy, but right here in this moment, it was obvious he was feeling something.

  “Miss Shrieve,” I added, deciding to go a different route.

  “What about her?”

  “She had me in her office for a meeting this morning.”

  Something flashed in his eyes, almost as if he was suspicious of why she’d called me in. Did he know something?

  “What for?”

  “My lip. My mom told her I came home Wednesday after school with it. Miss Shrieve also saw us in the parking lot. Did you know that?”

  “Yes.”

  I pushed away from the wall. “Were you going to tell me?”

  “She didn’t see anything she shouldn’t have,” he stated, defending his actions.

  “How do you know? God, no wonder…” I trailed off as I thought back to the comment about him and trust.

  This was not good.

  I made a move to step around him when I saw Brandon walking down the hall, but Grayson reached out and grabbed my wrist, pulling me back to where he was standing behind the lockers.

  “Where are you going?”

  Yanking my arm away, I gritted out between clenched teeth, “Let me go. Brandon’s coming.”

  Grayson released me instantly and stepped away, just as Brandon rounded the corner and found us.

  “What the fuck is this?”

  * * *

  Present…

  After knocking on Doc’s door, I pace back and forth in the empty hall.

  In my left hand, I’m holding the envelope with Brandon’s photo, and in my right, I have the pen he’d given me—Grayson’s pen.

  Both symbols in their own right of distrust and trust.

  As his door opens, I stop pacing and thrust the envelope at him. He takes it from me without a word and then steps aside.

  “Why?” I ask as I walk inside and he shuts the door. “I want to know why you gave me that?”

  “I told you why.”

  “So I can break free?”

  “Yes, break free of everything that keeps you trapped,” he tells me, pointing with the envelope.

  “This picture isn’t important,” he explains and throws it on the floor. He’s more animated than I’ve ever seen him. “Yet, it gets more of a reaction out of you than I’ve seen in days. You, Addy! You are what’s important. Not what happened back then. Yesterday is done. What are you going to do with today?”

  My eyes focus on him, and I feel the urgency building. There’s a craving he’s ignited inside of me.

  “I don’t want to be in here anymore.”

  “I know. So what are you going to do about it?”

  The answer is obvious. It’s been there all along. “I’m going to fight.”

  A grin appears on Doc’s face. “And?”

  I grin back at him. “I’m going to win.”

  * * *

  Past…

  “Dude, get your hands off her!”

  Fuck, was the only word coming to mind as Brandon sized up the situation.

  “Hey, he wasn’t doing—”

  “He was grabbing you, Addy,” he accused.

  Brandon was right, I had been grabbing her, and I wanted to grab her again. Instead, I fell into my self-righteous teacher mode. What a fucking joke.

  “Don’t you need to go to lunch?”

  “No, I need to report your ass. Why the fuck are you touching her anyway?”

  “Brandon!” Addison shouted, and I could tell by the way she had her arms wrapped around her waist that she was trying to hold herself together. I knew that, because I was scrambling to do the same.

  “What? No teacher is supposed to lay a hand on a student. And they certainly shouldn’t be grabbing one. Wasn’t that why I was suspended?” he asked, getting up in my face.

  I took a step back and reminded myself that this was a student, not someone I could punch in the jaw and demand he shut the fuck up.

  “Mr. Williams, I think you’re mistaken with what you saw.”

  What am I saying? I couldn’t believe I was stooping this fucking low.

  “Am I?”

  “Yes, you are. What the hell is the matter with you?” I questioned.

  Sure, compound the issue by being a dick—my father would be so proud.

  “I think you know,” he inferred, looking from me to Addison who, when I glanced over at her, seemed wounded and broken—once again damaged and this time by me.

  There was nothing I could do about that now, I was in too deep and couldn’t stop—not after what Brandon had seen.

  “I’m getting sick of your mouth. I think you should start walking before you say something you’ll regret.”

  “That I regret?” He mocked. “I don’t think so.”

  “Brandon, just go. You’re making this worse,” Addison pleaded, drawing our eyes back to her.

  “What am I making worse, Addy? Jess says she left you in the parking lot last week and you were fine, but she saw him talking to you before she drove away. Now there’s a rumor you got your busted lip that same day. It wasn’t Jess, so who was it, huh? Mr. McKendrick?”

  That was not an accusation I’d expected, and it almost knocked me off my feet. I tried to wrap my mind around what he’d just hurled at me.

  “Are you implying that I hit Addison? Because if you are, that is one hell of an allegation.”

  “Well, you have to admit, it doesn’t look so good does it, sir? Do you like to touch all of your students?”

  “What the fuck?” Addison sputtered, sounding as perplexed as I was.

  “Shut up, Addy,” Brandon ordered, pointing a finger at her. I wanted to hit him, just for that.

  “Alright, that’s it! I’ve had it.”

  “Oh, yeah?” he challenged, and I could feel my anger reaching its boiling point. I clenched my fists by my sides and willed myself to calm the fuck down.

  “Yes. You need to leave or we’re going to the front office right now, where you can kiss your track scholarship good-bye.”

  That’s when Brandon pulled his arm back, balled his hand into a fist and launched it forward, punching me in the side of my face. I grabbed my jaw and pushed my tongue to the inside of my cheek, tasting blood.

  “Brandon Williams!”

  Oh fantastic, just what I fucking needed—Helene to join this circus.

  Glaring at my attacker, my student, I warned, “I suggest you back up, before I really lose my temper.”

  He seemed to realize what he’d just done because he slowly backed away and shook out his fingers.

  “You’re about to visit with Principal Thomas and you can explain to him why I have a bleeding lip. You do know that’s cause for expulsion, yes?”

  “What on earth is going on here?” Helene demanded of the three of us, and after what Addison had been alluding to earlier, I had to wonder what my fellow employee was thinking.

  Before Brandon had a chance to speak, I made sure to pin him with an unrelenting stare and invited, “Do you want to tell her, or should I?”

  He didn’t bother answering as he turned on Addison, who seemed to have shrunk into the wall. Her head was down, her shoulders were shaking, and her fingers were white as she dug them into her sides.

  I wanted to reach out and comfort her, but that was what got us in this situation in the first place. Why I wanted to yell at Helene for doing what I couldn’t made absolutely no sense at all.

  She placed a hand on Addison’s shoulder and I’d never seen such a violent reaction from her. Addison pulled away as if Helene would infect her and aimed an icy look her way.

  “Addy? Are you okay?” Helene urged gently.

  Addison pivoted toward me, and her eyes took on a look I hadn’t seen since the night by her brother’s grave.

  My Addison was gone, and as she fell apart in front of me, she raised her arm and pressed her watch to her ear as a tear slipped free and rolled down her cheek.

  The ticking was back.

  We were over.

  Time was no lon
ger standing still.

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  Past…

  God, how long would this take?

  I’d just given my false recap of what happened between Brandon and me, and as predicted, he would be expelled. He’d have to finish the school year at a different high school.

  “Mr. McKendrick, if that’s all, you may leave. We’ll take it from here.”

  I stood, pushing the chair back and then looked at the boy—and that’s what he was, just a boy—slumped down in his seat. Brandon glared at me, and I felt the full weight of my negligence.

  This boy had trusted me—I’d let him down.

  “I hope things turn around for you, Mr. Williams.”

  I offered my hand to him, but instead of taking it, his eyes took on a hard glint—I’d put that there. No, he’d already had an edge. I’d just sharpened it.

  Raising his gaze from my hand, his top lip curled as he told me, “You better go and find Anne.”

  Anne? What was he...? And then I remembered my lesson on King Henry’s wives.

  … Many believe he chased Anne and was drawn to her because she resisted his attempts…

  He didn’t know how wrong he was. I hadn’t chased Addison, but I was about to. I needed to find her.

  I left the office without saying another word. My lip was throbbing and my head was starting to pound but that didn’t stop me from heading straight for the parking lot.

  Addison couldn’t leave because if she did, her parents would be called, and she wouldn’t want that. I looked at my watch and knew I had the period free, so I headed across the track and through the gate. I spotted her car in the lot and made my way over.

  I peered through the window and saw nothing. It was empty.

  Straightening, I surveyed the lot. There was no one around. I was about to go and check inside, when I spotted something.

  Over by my truck, I saw white material peeking out from underneath and knew immediately that it was her. I jogged over to where I’d parked and rounded the tail of my truck bed—and there she was. Sitting up against the huge tire on the driver’s side, she seemed so small and fragile.