He thrust hard, and growled out his orgasm. Then he picked up pace and continued to thrust as soon as his muscles would let him move again. Once it was clear his turn was over. He went down on me again, this time incorporating his long fingers. His fingers and tongue worked their magic and I followed him with my own orgasm a few licks, sucks, and pumps later.
Right then I hated orgasms. They were signals that it was over, time out, please come back later. I didn’t want to stop touching him, I wanted him back inside of me, but his anatomy wasn’t cooperating, and mine had hit maximum sensitivity saturation. My nipples were sore from two days of biting and tugging and licking and sucking. I was probably going to find walking difficult, but I didn’t care. I wanted as much of him as I could before we couldn’t touch anymore.
We lay next to each other panting. Soon I would roll over and drape across him and start touching him again. Ares got out of bed, and leaned in to pull me up with him.
“It’s time.”
He led me to the shower, and we washed each other. Hands memorizing every plane and curve of each other’s bodies. The hot water and the slippery soap made me feel the need to be touched more. Ares’s fingers and tongue took me over the edge again. I actually didn’t blame his poor penis for tapping out, I was giving it one hell of a workout. I only wish it had been more cooperative.
We got drive-thru for a late lunch and went and sat in the car pick-up line for school. The day before had been the first time Ares had done this with me. He was amazed at the controlled chaos of all those kids and all those cars. We had to sit for what felt like forever, but once it started, kids were in cars, and cars left quickly.
“Lizzie, I know you don’t want to talk about it.” We ate the last of the French fries.
“Can’t I live in denial for a few more hours?” I sighed.
“No, you can’t.” He shook his head, his gaze intense.
“Okay fine. You go home tomorrow. I’m devastated and go back to folding laundry.” I was being flippant to avoid this.
“We’ve talked about it. You don’t think this isn’t hurting me too? I feel like I’m being cut in half.”
I know it was. I also know I was being a selfish brat.
“I’m scared, okay. You’re going to go home and start touring and you are going to forget all about me.” I ate another French fry, focusing on the car in front of us.
“That’s not going to happen. I’m not going to let that happen. You’re not going to let that happen.” He reached up to twist a finger into my hair.
“Why is this so hard?” I fought against the tears. I couldn’t cry, not when Cassidy was going to be jumping into the car soon.
Ares let out a chuff of air, not quite a laugh. “I wish I knew Lizzie. I didn’t even know I had this hole in my life until I found you and you filled it.”
I took a ragged breath, I needed to at least try to be an adult about this. “Okay. Do you need to drop the rental car off, or is it one of those they pick up?” My eyes were still on the car in front of us.
“They are going to pick it up by nine. I need you at the hotel by ten. The airport is what? Thirty, forty minutes away from the hotel?”
“Not even that much, twenty maybe,” I sighed again.
“Okay then we have a bit more time together. But I want you to take me to the airport. I want as much time with you as I can get right now.”
“You know that feeling is mutual.” I didn’t want to take him to the airport, because I didn’t want him to leave. This was the last detail that made it real.
Cassidy jumped in the back seat. “Hi Mommy, hi Ares, where’s Bree?”
“Miss Lydia took her for an adventure today.”
“Oh, okay. What did you do today?” she asked as she buckled herself in.
Ares smiled knowingly. “We puttered around the house today.”
“Oh okay. What’s for dinner?”
Ares turned around to look at her “What would you like? I haven’t cooked for a while, or I can take everyone out.”
“You can’t cook,” Cassidy said kicking the back of his seat.
“How do you know?” He was still turned to focus on her.
“Only mommies can cook.”
“I’ll have you know some of the top professional chefs, people who get paid to cook, are men. Besides, you’ve helped me make spaghetti before,” he said as he repositioned himself to face forward.
I smiled at the two of them. I liked the idea of Ares cooking. It made sense that he would know how to feed himself, after all he was single and in his forties. I guess I never thought much about it.
“Can you make Chinese food?” Cassidy asked.
“Nope.”
“But, I want Chinese for dinner.” There was a distinct whine in that tone.
“Ares doesn’t speak whine, please watch that.” I could handle the girls crying and screaming, and having little snot attitudes before I could handle the whine.
“Sorry. Could we have Chinese for dinner?” she asked politely minding her tone.
“We could do that, and I will cook next time I’m in town,” Ares agreed.
“Okay.” That appeased Cassidy. But not me, I gazed at him longingly. When is the next time you’re going to be in town Ares? When? I silently asked. But I already knew the answer. He didn’t know. The summer tour started in Amsterdam in late June. Their tour manager was trying to see if they could get into any last minute festivals in the states. If not, then Ares might come back for a week or so in early June. He would definitely visit in August when they got back to the states. The US and Canada leg of the tour wasn’t going to start until mid to late September when the album was finally released. We might have time around Thanksgiving, and again around Christmas. He didn’t know what next year would be like. It all depended on the success of the new album, plus he was talking about a project with his friend Craig. Something about writing soundtracks for a big name video game. Ares said that would put him in LA for a while.
This was a suck-ass schedule to try to build a relationship on. I wanted him in my life, so I was damned sure I would do my best. But all that touring still scared me. I didn’t have to worry about it until June. That was a few months away. I could push that one back into denial for now.
I spent the rest of the afternoon in false good cheer. I was dying inside, my heart shattering. But I couldn’t give away my emotions around the girls. I mooned at Ares with sad puppy dog eyes.
He’d squeeze my hand, or simply say, “It will be okay.”
I arrived at his hotel in the morning. Funny, we really hadn’t spent much time here at all. I think he preferred my bed. I did as well, and having him in my bed felt so much more real to me. He finished his packing when I got to his room. Bags and guitar cases laid open across the bed. I would love to say he swept me into his arms just then. But he was all business, packing. I watched him as he moved about, checking the room, checking the bathroom, making sure he had everything.
I was an emotional mess. Just watching him do this I teared up. And I wasn’t looking forward to the airport. Stupid security, I wouldn’t be able to go with him to his gate and wait until the plane boarded. I wouldn’t be allowed past the check-in gates. So, it really was a drop-off at the curb situation. He was packing, and I was going to drop him off and go home. This sucked.
With everything packed, Ares finally paid attention to me. He sat on the edge of the bed. He held a piece of paper out to me. Wordlessly I took it from him. He had written his home address out for me. The top of the page had his name, his cell phone, and then his address. It felt weird. He knew mine. He knew how to get to my house, and yet here was a part of him I hadn’t put thought into. It made me feel selfish, and stupid. Three weeks and I felt like he needed to be an integral part of my life, yet clearly, I knew so little about him. He could cook, he had an address. Stupid little things I never thought about asking him about. I lost it. Tears streamed from my eyes, and I gulped for air.
Ares
pulled me into him and just held me on his lap. I leaned into him for succor. Gentle strokes down my back and along my arms soothed me. When I stopped crying, I had the hiccups. This made Ares chuckle. It made me mad. I hated the hiccups.
“This isn’t the end. It’s just a goodbye for now.”
I hiccuped and sniffed. “It feels like the end.”
“I left a guitar at your house.”
I had no room for additional panic in my raw emotions. I swiped at my eyes. “If we leave now, we can get it. You’ll be at the airport a little later than you wanted, but you won’t miss your flight.”
“I’m leaving it there, so you know I will be back. And you have something of me.”
Ares kissed me long and deep. It was gentle and loving, and the best cure for the hiccups I ever experienced. But it didn’t take away the pit of despair forming in my gut.
Dropping him off at the airport was as painful as I had anticipated. I sat and watched him while he waited in line with curbside check in. He turned and waved just before entering the sliding doors into the airport. I watched him as best I could until I couldn’t see his large dark figure anymore. I would have stayed there and sobbed on my steering wheel if airport security hadn’t waved me along.
Twelve
Ares left and my life was full of suck. It was back to Invisagirl versus the laundry monster and judgement of others.
“Okay girls, who had the chicken nuggets and chocolate milk?”
Lydia knew how to make the girls giggle. A skill I had lost in the past few days. Ares took my humor away with him. He took my smile. I missed him. I missed his strong warm body crushing against mine. I missed the way he smelled of clean soap and Old Spice.
Both girls chimed in with “Me!” at the same time.
Lydia slid the plastic tray laden with fast food onto the small table, and began handing out fries and boxes of nuggets, and paper wrapped burgers.
“Can we go to the park?” Cassidy asked.
“Park, park, park.” Bree sounded like a yappy puppy with her enthusiastic cheer.
Lydia, who had been the keeper of my sanity this past week during Spring Break, nodded. “I think swings are a good idea. Your mommy needs some fresh air.”
The look she shot me included ‘and a swift kick in the butt.’
We ate, well some of us did. Bree was in a picky mood, so she nibbled a bit of fried coating from each nugget before declaring herself too full to continue. I wasn’t in the head space to argue with her, so I wrapped the uneaten portion back up in its box, and saved it for when she decided she was starving. We could argue about cold nuggets later.
Trays and garbage put away, squirmy excited girls strapped into car seats, and we headed to the park. Once there Lydia and I repeated the car seat strap-in in reverse, and set the girls on the ground so they could run and scream and laugh, and head straight for the swings.
“Push me, Mommy!” Bree sat in a swing and wiggled her little butt side to side trying to make the swing do something other than stay in place. Cassidy was already swinging her legs back and forth taking her higher and higher.
With a dejected sigh, I pulled back on the chains, and gave Bree a sendoff.
Lydia leaned on the nearest support pole and crossed her arms. “Well now, you got F-I-R-E-D?”
This was going to be a long conversation between the pushing and the spelling. But little ears repeat too much. After all, that’s why I no longer had a job.
“Yep, someone told her teacher I wasn’t sick when asked how I was feeling. And the teacher told Charlene in the office”— push— “And Charlene decided that maybe calling out of work to hang with the rocker boyfriend”— push— “to do, crap how did she put it?”
I gave Bree another big push and pulled my hands up to my collar bones and fluttered my eyes. In a mocking, high toned, thick accent I said, “I’m sure it’s none of my business what you were getting up to but I don’t feel it could possibly reflect well on our Christian mission.”
“What did you expect? You send your kid to pre-school in a church.”
I gave Bree another push. “If he had been a country singer Charlene would have been all up in my business wanting details. You know the worst part of all of this?”
Lydia shook her head.
“I have to pay full price now. I lost my employee discount.” I pouted.
“My accountant was saying something the other day about looking for some help. Want me to follow up on that for you?”
“Would you? That would be fantastic.”
It turned out it wasn’t Lydia’s accountant, but a friend of hers who was in need of a virtual assistant. Which was perfect, I wouldn’t need to go into her office more than once or twice a month. Everything else could be done from home.
New job, long distance relationship, additional strains on relations with the ex. Life moved forward. And I was officially older.
A box arrived the day before my birthday. It was addressed to the girls, from Ares. The squeals they emitted should have broken light bulbs. They tore into the box like chummed sharks. By the time I came back into the living room with scissors to help open the box they had it shredded. Little girls have frightening strength when they think there is a unicorn at stake, or there is ketchup in the packet. Everything else is like kryptonite and they can’t open a thing.
Ares sent them presents. He clearly had paid attention, and knew what the girls would like. There were two sets of large butterfly wings, painted in rainbow colors. There was also an assortment of colored hair extensions on clips, two of every color, and two wands. Two of everything. Smart man.
Cassidy and Bree shredded the packaging searching for more items. Then they took off at a screaming giggle to put on proper fairy dress-up with the new wings. I sifted through the remains of the packaging. Packing peanuts and wads of newsprint had exploded all over the living room as they eviscerated the box. No note. I sighed. Points to Ares for getting the girls something. Points lost for not even writing a note or including something for me. Maybe he forgot. Maybe it hadn’t arrived yet. Maybe I needed to chill out. Had I even told him it was my birthday?
Squeals turned to bickering to fighting in the TV room. I made my way up the stairs to see what the issue was. It looked as if everything he sent was exactly the same, so there should be no need to fight over who got what. Cassidy held something close to her stomach and Bree fought to get it away from her.
“No, it’s mine,” Cassidy growled and tried to turn away from her sister.
“Gimme!” Bree screamed. She tried to grab whatever Cassidy had. Biting and scratching were not far behind.
“How about you give it to me,” I said in my best ‘I’m done with this hand it over now’ voice.
“No!” Cassidy turned, spinning away from her sister and me.
“Excuse me young lady? Hand whatever it is over right now.” My hand was out waiting for the coveted object.
“But it’s my magic wand. I know it’s mine,” she whined.
My teeth were on the edge of pain.
Bree started with the whining, “Mine, gimme.”
The sound of their whines went straight to my gums and every nerve ending in my mouth cramped in shooting pain. I winced. I could take sass, I could take crying, but I could not stand whining. It literally made my teeth hurt.
“There’s only one, so it’s got to be mine.” Their voices pitched higher, soon only dogs would be able to hear them.
“One.” I wagged my fingers. “Two.” I paused “Do not make me say three.”
Instantly, Cassidy put the item she was guarding so carefully into my hand.
I just stared at it. What the hell were my children doing with a sex toy? Albeit a nice once, but no doubt, a sex toy. It was actually quite lovely, carved rose quartz. No wonder Cassidy liked it, it shimmered pink and looked like it should belong to a fairly queen. It was about seven inches long, thick in the middle, and tapered at both ends. There were two or three spiral ridges th
at swirled from one end to the other. It was the kind of design that initially wasn’t obvious that it was a sex toy. It wasn’t mine. If it came from Richard’s house, I was going to kill him.
“Where did you get this from?” I kept my voice calm and cool. Bree hid behind her sister, hoping to not be in the line of fire.
“Ares sent it to me. It’s mine!” Oh, the whining, it was worse than fingernails on a chalkboard.
“Okay Cassidy, let’s try that again without the whine.” I breathed hard through my nose to control my temper.
She took a ragged breath in and focused herself. “It was in a box. And it was the only one, so I knew it was my special magic wand. Just for me.” Her face was in full pout.
“Okay, Ares sent a box with two sets of wings,” I held up my finger to count, “Two sets of hair extensions,” a second finger went up, “and two wands. One for each of you. What makes you think that because there is one of something it’s for you?”
She didn’t answer, she just pouted at the floor.
“Hmmm? I think maybe if there is one of something in that box, maybe it was for me?” I raised my eyebrows at her.
“But he likes us, he sent us wings,” Bree blurted out.
“Yes, he does like you. He likes me too. Don’t you think that maybe he sent me a magic wand too so I wouldn’t feel left out?” Being a calm rational adult around petulant children and sex toys was a whole lot harder than I ever expected. Not that this was a situation I ever expected to have to deal with. A manual on how to be a parent doesn’t exist. Even if one did, I’m not sure this would have even made it into its pages.
Cassidy mumbled.
“What did you say?” I asked
“Probably.”
I sent them to their time out chairs for ten minutes to think about all of this. And expressed my dismay at their rabid attack on the package to begin with. Maybe if they had let me open the box properly this never would have happened. I got two “yes ma’ams” from them as they skulked off to serve their time.
I let out a huge sigh. I had been willing to castrate Richard over this toy, and it turned out I was really going to have to castrate my favorite stallion. Great, how was chastising the boyfriend long distance going to work? I texted him to please call me when he had an opportunity.
Ballad Ares Page 11
