“I think it is,” I said and kneeled down in front of him. “Thomas Ares Martin, will you do me the honor of being my husband, and being a daddy to my children?” I did it, I asked him to marry me.
“Do you have a ring?”
I was in shock. His deep tones did not resonate through my house with a “yes” but with a “do you have a ring”.
“Na. . . no, um,” I stammered, tears stung my eyes. This wasn’t exactly planned.
I got up to go find a rubber band or something when he said, “Well, hold on a minute,” and disappeared into the bedroom.
“I guess it’s a good thing that I do then,” he said upon his return, holding out a small red velvet ring box, open to display a perfectly clear, perfectly round diamond solitaire.
I was speechless, it was beautiful, it was an engagement ring. Ares was saying yes to me, and asking me all at once. My hands shook as he removed the ring from the box to slip on my finger.
“I was going to ask you, but you beat me to it.” He kissed me on my brow. He whispered so the girls didn’t hear, “I realized if I wanted you to be the mother of my children, I needed to be your husband. I’m sorry I ever made you feel that wasn’t my intension.”
I stared at my finger with the ring, the ring on my finger, the sparkle jumping off the ring, from the ring on my finger. Ring. It was all too much, my mental processes shut down. By the time I threw my arms around him the girls were already in for a group hug, and full of squeals. They wanted to try the ring on, but Ares was firm, this was my special ring only. But he would get them special rings, so he could be their daddy. I was a slobbery mess.
“This calls for a celebration,” Ares declared.
I couldn’t have agreed more. While I was thinking champagne and chocolate, he was more in tune of the needs of the girls.
“Waffles, I’m making them!”
The girls bounced and danced, I cried.
Ares gently kissed my brow again. “Go clean up, I’ve got this.”
I barely remembered taking a shower. I know I did, and I forgot to rinse my hair out, so I had to return for a second time to finish getting all the soap off. I spent most of the shower just staring at the ring on my finger. No, I did not take it off for my shower, I had no plans on ever taking that ring off.
When I returned to the kitchen, there was a mess of dishes, a bowl of batter, and no waffles. Ares and the girls sat at the table hunkered over his phone. They were talking to someone with the speakerphone on. Turns out, Ares called his mother to introduce her to the girls, and to announce our engagement. It was a well-timed call, as it turns out, because Maria was there also.
Bree was telling them about her favorite colors, all of them. A huge laughing smile played across Ares’s lips. His sister kept trying to redirect the conversation toward actual wedding planning, while his mother was trying to figure out what the girls should call her. Nona, she decided was too close to Nana, but she was not going to be somebody’s Grandmother, or Granny. No, my mother was Grandmother. And that reminded me I needed to call her about this. It could wait, she would be pleasantly happy, and she would at least make arrangements to come to the wedding, but I doubt if she would even bother to ask me much about Ares. She knew I was seeing someone, but that’s as far as the level of detail she would be interested in.
Ares managed to get the girls distracted with their coloring, and transferred the call off of speakerphone. Listening to his phone conversations with his mother were usually the same, “no Mama, yes, yes, no, yes Mama, of course Mama.” This time he had to contend with his sister at the same time, “No Maria, yes Mama, she did, yes Maria, no Maria, yes Mama.”
They must have had him on speakerphone on their end. The conversation continued, I did hear snippets of “no, she asked me first” and “that’s what I had been planning.” He rang off with a promise to call his other sister, Eva, immediately.
Pocketing the phone, he said, “Immediately after they call her first. I’ll give them thirty minutes before I even try. I’m sure she will call before then.”
He was right fifteen minutes later in the middle of pouring batter, his sister Eva called. I took over waffle making, and he fielded another barrage of questions from his sister. It sounded very much like the previous call, just replace all the “Yes Marias” with “Yes Evas.”
That evening, after waffles, clean-up, and a celebratory dinner at the girls’ favorite Chinese buffet, I settled the girls in to watch a pony movie so I could call my mother. Ares was in future Daddy mode, and declared he would handle bedtime stories, so I could take as long as I needed. As predicted, it was short, she was pleased for me, but she asked why I wasn’t calling with a date yet. Maybe I wouldn’t call her back with a date, maybe I would just call her back after it was done, and we were married. I liked to think that, but I knew that wouldn’t happen. Based on what Ares told me from his conversations with his sisters, the wedding was already in the works and would take place in Seattle. I did get him to agree to make sure to call them back and halt all wedding plans for at least a month. Give me time to let it soak in.
I sat on my back deck recovering from my phone call with my mother, gearing up to call Miss Angie to let her know. I decided I would tell her in a day or two, but before she saw the girls again, since they would tell her, and I wanted her to hear the news from me. I would let her tell her son. He would be happy, no more alimony. Maybe I wouldn’t have her tell Richard until we had a date set. That might be better. It would certainly keep him from pestering me regarding alimony.
I needed to call Lydia. I took a picture of the ring and texted it to her. My phone buzzed within seconds.
“He asked you?”
“I asked him, he just happened to have a ring.” I proceeded to tell her how Bonnaroo was, and that Ares was able to stay, and how I was going to drive him to Atlanta in the morning. Then I got cornered into a proposal. Not that I was complaining or anything. And yes, Ares had been thinking the same thing since he did have a ring.
“I wished I had a ring for him to flash around,” I said wistfully.
“Don’t be stupid. Go get one. After all, stores are open on Sundays as late as nine, even,” she reminded me.
I felt like an idiot not having thought of that myself. I could run out and get Ares a simple ring, it didn’t have to be gold, it didn’t need to have diamonds. Heck, he would probably wear a big hulking skull or something, at least for the engagement. I thanked her for the idea, then she began asking me about wedding plans. I told her we haven’t gotten that far, but with his sisters, she should expect to have to fly to Seattle for this.
Evening set in late, Summer Solstice was only a few days away. The fireflies started to come out deeper in the yard. There seemed to be an abundance of them around the fairy circle tonight. The lights flashed and danced toward me. They sparkled like my ring. One of the fireflies landed on my hand. After the little striped bug landed on me, I wiggled my flashy new ring at the other one flying just out of reach.
“I’m engaged now,” I said. “I sparkle as pretty as you do.”
“Talking to bugs? Should I be worried?” Ares handed me a tall champagne flute and sat in the Adirondack chair next to me. I smiled at him, I was going to marry him.
He clinked our glasses together. “To us.”
“You really want to marry me?” I asked.
“I wouldn’t have bought that if I didn’t.” He nodded toward the ring.
“Girls in bed?”
“They were no trouble. Bree called me Daddy when she said good night.” The satisfaction in his voice made me smile more. “You can tell me if I’m out of line here, but I want to adopt the girls after we’re married.”
“Seriously? Are you sure?” My eyes felt like they popped out of my skull, I was not expecting that.
“Yes, I’m sure. It’s a completely selfish maneuver. I want Richard gone from your life. I don’t want him around. I don’t want the girls to feel like they have to have split l
oyalties. I get the sense from Cassidy she already does. She wants to like me, but is afraid to because of him.”
“You are selfish, you just want all the girls for yourself.” I chuckled.
“Pretty much,” he smirked and took a sip of his champagne.
I sipped it, the bubbles tickled my nose. “Where did this come from?” I asked realizing I didn’t have any champagne in the house.
“Courtesy of Bonnaroo. Backstage has its perks. And champagne bottles laying around is one of them.” He tipped his glass to me
I stretched and admired the dancing lights on my finger. “I want to get you a ring tomorrow in the morning before we leave,” I said as I yawned.
“Why? Isn’t that one enough?”
“For me, but not for you. I want you to have a magic shield on tour. You know, something to constantly remind you and anybody else that you belong to me.”
“I don’t need a ring to belong to you,” he stated.
I glared at him. He knew I was a nervous wreck about this tour.
“Since it will make you feel better, we will go ring shopping tomorrow.”
Twenty
DVDs that are built into minivans are the most brilliant concept ever. I wish they had those when I was a kid. Car trips that took over two hours as a kid were always torture, how much faster would time have flown if I could have kicked back and watched a cartoon or two? I found I used this feature for any trip that was going to take longer than forty-five minutes. Less than that and the girls would fuss over having to turn the showoff.
The five hours of driving to Atlanta were made much easier because the girls could just relax watching ponies and mermaids. The trip for me flew. Not nearly enough time to be with Ares before he left us again. Every second was precious to me at this point. Especially now that we were engaged. He loved me, but he was also about to go to Europe for eight painfully long weeks. Eight weeks of touring. Eight weeks of groupies. Eight weeks that I was terrified at the end of which he wouldn’t want me anymore. What I was really terrified of was that I wouldn’t be able to trust him anymore.
As much as I loved him, I didn’t know how I would deal with infidelity. He constantly told me that would not happen. His sister told me that would not happen. I wanted to believe that it would not happen, but I spent too much time as a kid watching MTV and behind the scenes touring videos, and rock stars had reputations. I was nervous, and trying really, really hard to not flip out over it. If it happened, I would deal with it then. I didn’t need to deal with it now. That didn’t stop my brain from heading down that path without my permission.
“It will be okay.” Ares squeezed my hand as I navigated through the Atlanta freeway system. We headed to the nightclub where AudioVox would perform that night. “I will call you every night. I’ll drink too much.”
I glared over at him. “I don’t want you drinking so much, you’ve been doing so well. I’d hate this tour to ruin that for you.” Ares wasn’t one hundred percent sober. But he no longer drank to excess, at least he hadn’t since the night of Craig’s death. And he was completely sober of other substances since we met.
“No, I won’t go on a bender every night. I feel too good, and I don’t bounce back like I used to,” he chuckled. “I just figured you would be more comfortable knowing I was using a numbing agent.” He winked. We couldn’t use precise words with little ears in the car. That’s when they would actually decide to listen to us. Alcohol was his anti-Viagra.
“I can trust you to not need that right?”
“Yes, you can. I love you. I’m not going to jeopardize us for five minutes of grunting and sweating.” He glanced over his shoulder, to make sure the girls were not paying attention to us. “I’m not Richard, and I’m not about to become an ex-boyfriend. You asked me to marry you, remember?”
“Yes, I remember.” I smiled.
“That means the world to me. Lizzie, I know you’re worried. You don’t know what to expect. This is what’s going to happen.” He had gone over this with me a few times already. Each time, it was essentially the same, but the descriptive details were a bit different. “We’re going to travel around in a cramped tour bus that smells like farts and dirty socks.” That was a new description— last time it was a tour bus of farting old men.
“I’ll sleep well into the afternoon, like a vampire, then spend the day before performing talking to radio station people, and sitting up at tables and signing things. And yes, I will be asked to sign body parts. I will get groped and I will kiss fan girls. I will tell everyone who listens about how I am going to be a blushing bride and must save myself for my impending nuptials.” He waggled his hand like a newly engaged girl flashing a big diamond. The ring we got was a simple band of thick braided silver. It looked like a wedding band. “Everyone will find me to be hysterical and they won’t be completely sure if I’m being serious or not. We will then play our set if it’s one of the festivals, if not we will spend the evening setting up before we play. Afterwards we will tear down and pack up. And then I will crawl back into the tour bus, if we are lucky it will be a hotel room for a night. I will face-plant and sleep, then do it all over again.”
“You forgot to include how often you will be calling me,” I prompted, glancing at him from the corner of my eye.
“I will call you when I wake up, and after each gig, and at bedtime on the nights we don’t play.”
I pulled the van into a small parking lot, the tour bus was parked next to the back of the building. We were there. Ares unbuckled and told me he would be right back. He was gone for a few minutes, long enough for me to get sad. I really didn’t want our goodbyes for this trip to be me dropping him off and driving away in the van.
Gunter emerged from the black space beyond the open doors at the back of the club. Ares was behind him. Gunter had a large friendly grin on his face.
“Get out.” He gestured for me to get out of the van.
He surprised me by catching me in a hug. “Congratulations.” He held onto me under one arm. “I never actually thought this guy would be wise enough to ask someone like you.”
“Did he tell you I actually asked him first?” I giggled.
Gunter cocked an eyebrow at Ares. “He did not. Are you sure you want to do that?” he asked me jokingly. “Well, at least he was smart enough to say yes.”
“Let go of my woman, Gun,” Ares growled, but he was smiling.
Gunter kissed me on the cheek, and released me.
Gunter waved as he walked back into the club. I crawled back into the van.
Ares buckled himself back in. “We have just over an hour. I want to go to the Varsity.”
At first, I wondered how Ares knew about the Varsity Drive-in restaurant with the best fried anything in the US. Especially onion rings and peach fried pie. I realized, he’s been touring for a while. This wasn’t his first time in Atlanta, he had probably been to the Varsity before. He knew his way around their menu, yep, he had been here before. Ares ordered extra peach fried pies for the guys in the band and the bus driver. I noticed he got the driver two pies.
Back at the club’s mini back lot, Ares had the girls get out of their car seats. He took us into the club through the back. I had never seen a club with all the lights on. I decided they look better with the house lights off. The place smelled like stale sweat and smoke. Ares knelt down and pointed out different things to the girls. I caught an evil death-ray glare from Steve. I was tired of being the recipient of his hate. I flipped him off.
“Hey, sweetie, I think we need to let you go,” I said touching Ares’s shoulder.
“Okay.” He got up and led the girls back out to the van, holding their hands. My heart hurt. He was going to marry me. He was going to be their daddy. He was going away for eight weeks. God, I sounded like a broken record. I teared up watching him hug the girls, their tiny arms wrapped around his neck and they each held on. I had never seen them hug their father that way. I knew right then, if I didn’t already know it before,
I was making the right decision. They needed Ares as much as I did.
Once they let him go, they were instantly distracted by another DVD. Ares grabbed his clothes and the clean laundry, and disappeared into the bus.
I closed the trunk and leaned against the van. He was big and intimidating as he emerged from the bus. I temporarily wondered how he even fit. All thoughts were wiped from my brain the second he kissed me. I didn’t think at that moment, all I could sense was his smell, his warmth, his lips, the feel of being crushed against his chest. If I could have consumed him, I would have. It felt like he was doing the same. Memorizing the sensation of his breath on my face, the feel of his teeth under my tongue. The taste of him. This goodbye scared me, scared me more than when I left him in LA.
“We head to Miami after this, the driver said if you get a hotel on Seventy-five South, he will do what he can to stop by for a few minutes on our way out of town.”
I blinked at him. “Seventy-five South? that’s the opposite of heading home.”
“I know, but he won’t detour. He will try to stop, give me a chance to properly say goodbye.” Ares gazed into my eyes, “Please, I don’t want to say goodbye in a parking lot.” His warm hand cupped the side of my face. I leaned into it.
“Okay, yeah. We’ll go get a room. I was going to do that anyway. They’ve been as good as they can be in the car this afternoon.”
I closed my eyes as he leaned in. He rested his forehead against mine. I felt enclosed by him, hands on face, and his face so close. I think we just breathed each other in. I didn’t want to let him go, I didn’t want him to let me go.
I stood there wiping tears off my cheek as he walked into the black hole in the back of the club. He turned and gave me one more smile. It felt like my insides shredded apart. He looked like he was headed out for battle. He shook his hair out and stood up taller before disappearing into the fold. I guess he was prepping to put on a show, putting on his Mars the rock star personality, just as I was prepping to continue pretending to be a functional adult.
Ballad Ares Page 19
