Summer by the Lake

by Mandy Baggot

  ‘Me too,’ Brad stated.

  ‘Count me in,’ Cole said.

  ‘I don’t think I’ve ever had it before. What’s it like?’ Mickey asked.

  ‘And then I’m gonna have the deep-fried bull’s balls with intestine stew,’ Robyn suggested.

  ‘I’ll go for that, too.’

  ‘Yeah and me.’

  Robyn looked at Cole and Brad and shook her head in disapproval.

  ‘What’s going on?’ Robyn asked, fixing them both with a hard stare.

  ‘Nothing,’ Brad said immediately.

  ‘Cole?’ Robyn asked.

  ‘Nothing,’ he replied.

  ‘Mickey? Am I gonna get any sense out of you?’ Robyn asked.

  ‘Brad wants to date you; Cole said you weren’t into him,’ Mickey told her.

  ‘Jeez, man!’ Brad said, throwing a napkin down on the table.

  ‘I’m starving, can we order?’ Mickey asked, taking a prawn cracker from the bowl on the table.

  ‘What have you said?’ Robyn asked, looking at Cole with wide eyes.

  ‘Nothing. He said you have a bond. He said you’re going to change your mind about the way you feel about him. I said I was pretty sure you wouldn’t,’ Cole told her.

  ‘Is this true?’ Robyn asked Brad.

  ‘He’s into you. Did you know that?’ Brad said, slanting an accusing eye at Cole.

  ‘Brad, I don’t feel that way about you. We’re friends, we’ll always just be friends,’ Robyn began.

  ‘Yes, we’re ready to order. I’ll have the crispy duck and the sweet and sour chicken balls with special fried rice and… shall we share some noodles, guys?’ Mickey offered as he gave his order to the waitress who had appeared at their table and gingerly stepped forward in a bid to be noticed.

  ‘I don’t wanna talk about this in front of them. We were meant to be having dinner on our own, so we could talk,’ Brad said, looking at Robyn.

  ‘About what? Anything I need to say, I can say in front of Cole and Mickey. What is it you can’t say?’ Robyn asked.

  ‘Noodles, guys?’ Mickey asked.

  ‘Just get the noodles,’ Cole told him, watching Robyn and Brad.

  ‘Can we just have a minute?’ Brad asked Robyn.

  ‘A minute for what?’

  ‘Please, Robyn,’ Brad said, looking uncomfortable.

  Robyn stood up with a sigh and walked over to the tank where they kept the lobsters. They looked surprisingly cheerful seeing as most of them would end up in a pot of boiling water before the week was out. They all looked decidedly more cheerful than Brad.

  Brad followed her, removed his baseball cap, and toyed with it in his hands.

  ‘Can’t we just have Chinese like we used to? Remember that time we ate so much we were actually sick?’ Robyn said.

  ‘Yeah, I remember. I carried you from the car and put you to bed,’ Brad spoke.

  ‘I was ill for a week,’ Robyn said with a smile.

  ‘That’s what I miss. We were so close,’ Brad told her.

  ‘We still are close, you, Sarah and Mickey, well, when they’re talking… you’re my oldest friends,’ Robyn reminded him.

  ‘We were more than friends.’

  ‘We dated loosely for a while, it was hardly Romeo and Juliet, was it?’ Robyn said.

  ‘Wasn’t it?’

  ‘No, Brad, it wasn’t—not for me, anyways,’ Robyn stated firmly.

  Brad let out a heavy sigh and ran his hands through his hair, trembling.

  ‘Listen, I know things have been difficult for you since Michelle left, but…’ Robyn began.

  ‘But what? I mean, what are you gonna do, Robyn? Pat me on the arm and say everything’s gonna be all right? I don’t have anything in my life apart from teaching stranger danger and ticketing speeders.’

  ‘Come on, you have the hockey. We’re doing really well and that’s because of you, you’re the Panthers’ captain. We need you,’ Robyn said.

  ‘Don’t patronize me, Robyn. I’ve tried to move on, focus on something else, throw myself into the service, but now that you’re back, it’s harder than ever. Robyn, Michelle didn’t leave because she fell in love with Randy, she left because she knew she could never be you,’ Brad stated.

  Robyn shook her head.

  ‘It’s true. I have never felt for anyone the way I feel about you. That’s just the way it is. Michelle realized that and that’s why she fell for Randy’s surgically enhanced charms,’ Brad continued.

  ‘Well, I’m sorry, but I don’t feel the same and I won’t. There’s someone else,’ Robyn told him firmly.

  ‘I know there was someone in England, Sarah told me,’ Brad started, taking hold of Robyn’s hand.

  ‘It isn’t him. He was nothing, just a way of coping. This is different,’ Robyn said, swallowing the knot that had appeared in her throat.

  ‘It’s someone here? Well, who?’ Brad demanded to know, his face reddening, the vein in his neck twitching.

  ‘I didn’t plan it to happen, it just did. I couldn’t stop it and I didn’t want to stop it. He makes me feel normal again,’ Robyn said, looking over at the table and smiling at Cole.

  ‘Ryan,’ Brad said, the word only just making it past his pursed lips.

  ‘Yeah,’ Robyn admitted, looking back at Brad.

  ‘So, he wasn’t hitting on you when he bought you the car and invited you to live with him and started being by your side twenty-four-seven? Man!’ Brad accused angrily.

  ‘No, he wasn’t, not then. He was just being nice, that’s all he’s ever been. But then it was more than that. Like I said, it just happened,’ Robyn attempted to explain.

  ‘I don’t trust him. You don’t know him, he doesn’t know you. How can you be dating someone you don’t know?’ Brad yelled at her.

  ‘I know enough and frankly, Brad, I know we’re friends, but something like this is none of your business,’ Robyn snapped.

  ‘I care about you, Robyn, you can’t stop me from caring.’

  ‘I don’t want you to care like that, it’s suffocating!’ Robyn blasted.

  *

  That was it. He couldn’t let her stand with him any longer. Mickey had started to take him through a blow-by-blow account of every date he had been on with Sarah and Cole couldn’t hear what was being said. He was uncomfortable being so far away, with Brad standing so close to Robyn. He needed to do something.

  *

  ‘Is everything okay here?’ Cole asked, joining them.

  ‘Oh yeah, everything’s great, you freaking lowlife! She’s just told me you’re dating! You knew we had history, you knew how I felt about her… everyone knows how I feel about her,’ Brad screamed at him.

  ‘You told him,’ Cole said, looking at Robyn intently.

  ‘That we’re dating,’ Robyn emphasized.

  If she had told Brad about the impending wedding he probably would have collapsed or trashed the restaurant.

  ‘You made out you were a good guy, down with the team, everybody’s buddy, and really you were…’ Brad was beginning to perspire.

  ‘Really he was what?’ Robyn cut in.

  ‘I didn’t think you were like that,’ Brad continued, shifting uncomfortably from one foot to the other as he turned his attention to Robyn.

  ‘You didn’t think I was like what?’ Robyn asked, staring at Brad and biting her lip.

  ‘Let’s go,’ Cole urged, taking hold of Robyn’s hand.

  ‘You should be with me, Robyn, not him. We were always meant to be together,’ Brad said.

  ‘Robyn, let’s just go. We can get take-out,’ Cole offered, trying to get her to focus on him and deflect the intensity of Brad’s rant.

  ‘No, not yet. I think I might want to punch him first,’ Robyn replied.

  ‘Robyn, we were good together, you know that. You said that yourself, the Chinese, the summers by the lake, the movies, at school, athletics club together, we—’

  ‘They’re memories, just old memories that have nothing
to do with the here and now. I’m dating Cole. I’m together with Cole,’ Robyn told him.

  ‘And how much do you really know about him?’ Brad questioned, his eyes locking with Cole’s.

  ‘I know everything,’ Robyn responded.

  ‘Yeah? Really? So you’ll know he was charged with criminal damage, assault and DUI,’ Brad carried on, a smug, satisfied smile crossing his face.

  ‘You ran Cole’s name through the police computer?’ Robyn asked, looking at her friend open-mouthed.

  ‘So, now you know he isn’t Mr Whiter than White. What have you got to say to that?’ Brad demanded to know.

  Robyn swung her arm back and punched Brad hard on the jaw, sending him reeling back into an empty table. Plates smashed on the floor, the waitress screamed and went running toward the kitchen, her face in her hands, and Mickey stopped eating the prawn crackers to turn toward the scene. He stood up and meandered over to them.

  ‘You gonna come and finish ordering?’

  ‘No, we’re done here,’ Robyn said, taking Cole’s hand.

  ‘Robyn, you need to think about what you’re doing. You don’t belong with him,’ Brad called, picking himself up and touching his injured face.

  ‘Do you think if I called Sarah now and told her we had sweet and sour balls by the dozen she would come down? I mean she does love chicken balls. Actually, maybe you should call her,’ Mickey suggested to Robyn.

  ‘We’re leaving,’ Robyn said, pulling Cole toward the door.

  ‘Look, Sarah’s dumped you. She doesn’t want you, get over it,’ Brad hissed at Mickey, his lips set in an angry scowl.

  ‘Get over it? What, like you? Pining after Robyn for years? Turning down the cell number of that dancer at Taboo? Doesn’t sound like you’ve gotten over anything yourself,’ Mickey replied.

  ‘Fuck you Mickey… and fuck you,’ Brad snarled, glaring at Cole.

  He put his cap back on his head, roughly pushed passed Cole and belted out the door.

  Thirty-Five

  ‘I want to kill him,’ Robyn blasted as she burst through the front door of the house.

  ‘You don’t want to kill him.’

  ‘Why don’t you want to kill him?’

  ‘Because I kind of know how he feels and it’s not good,’ Cole told her.

  ‘I’ve done nothing to make him think I feel anything for him, you know, that way,’ Robyn assured him.

  ‘You don’t have to explain anything to me.’

  ‘There isn’t anything to explain, Cole, honestly, nothing,’ Robyn said, stopping in her tracks and looking up at him.

  ‘I know that.’

  ‘Do you?’

  ‘Yes, because I know you,’ Cole told her.

  He reached out, took a strand of her hair in his fingers, and tucked it back behind her ear. She caught his hand in hers and brought it to her mouth, kissing his knuckles.

  ‘I’m scared, Cole,’ Robyn whispered, putting another kiss on his hand.

  ‘Scared of what?’

  ‘Of how I feel about you… and what I should do about it,’ Robyn said, swallowing.

  ‘We should eat something. We haven’t eaten and I’m starving,’ Cole said, looking away from her.

  *

  He was trying to buy time, for what he didn’t really know. He was scared too, but he didn’t want her to know that. After his comment about food, she was now looking at him like he was the most insensitive jerk she had ever met. At the moment, he agreed with her. If they could just get the monster trucks on the TV and rip open a bag of chips this could all be saved for another day. Another day when he might feel able to cope with it, because he couldn’t deal with it now. He was only one step away from wanting to take her clothes off, but if he did that it would ruin everything. He knew she couldn’t handle that yet. He could be patient, he could wait, but it was hard—really hard.

  *

  ‘I love you, okay? There, I’ve said it,’ Robyn blurted out, putting her thumb to her mouth and chewing on her nail. Her eyes were fixed on his face, waiting for his reaction, whatever it was going to be. She saw him swallow, the lump at his throat bobbing down and then slowly rising up again.

  ‘I should have told Brad the whole truth tonight. I should have told him I’m in love with you and I should have told him we’re getting married,’ Robyn carried on, determination in her tone.

  Cole shook his head.

  ‘Look at me,’ Robyn ordered, her hand lifting his head up to meet her eyes.

  ‘Don’t Robyn, please,’ he begged.

  ‘Don’t Robyn, please? What’s that supposed to mean? I tell you that I love you and you don’t want me to? We’re meant to be getting married!’

  ‘We are getting married,’ he assured her.

  ‘Then what’s the problem?’ Robyn questioned, looking at him with confusion in her expression.

  ‘Listen, it’s late, I’m tired, maybe we should just turn in,’ Cole suggested, glancing at his watch.

  ‘Oh my God. I just tell you that I love you and all you want to do is eat or sleep! What’s going on here?’

  She kicked her shoe against the baseboard and looked at him for some sort of explanation.

  He took a deep breath and finally met her eyes with his. In one quick move, he took her face in his hands and brought it to his, kissing her hard, shocking the air from her and moving his body close. Robyn wrapped her arms around his neck and drew him toward her, kissing him back, wanting more and more of him.

  She slipped one hand up under his T-shirt, touching his abdomen and then tracing a line down to the waistband of his jeans. He ended the kiss and stepped back like he’d been poked by a cattle prod.

  ‘Did I do something wrong? Is it still that bruise Brad gave you? Because if it is then you maybe ought to see the doctor,’ Robyn said, watching him as he ran his hands through his hair.

  He grabbed hold of her hands and took them in his, softly massaging her fingers.

  ‘I love you, Robyn. I’ve loved you since before I asked you to marry me,’ he admitted.

  ‘It feels scary to say it, doesn’t it?’ Robyn asked, smiling at him.

  ‘It isn’t that. I’m not scared by that, at all,’ Cole said, shaking his head.

  ‘Then what is it?’

  ‘I want you, Robyn, you know… I want you… and that’s wrong after all you’ve been through, and I shouldn’t be thinking like that yet, I know that. We’re waiting and that’s cool, it really is but… well, I said it and there it is,’ Cole told her, folding his arms across his chest.

  ‘Right,’ Robyn said with a matter-of-fact nod.

  ‘I’m sorry,’ Cole told her.

  ‘Yeah, me too, because that wasn’t who I thought you were,’ Robyn said.

  ‘I don’t know what to say,’ Cole said with a shrug.

  ‘I don’t want you to say anything. I want you to take me upstairs and we’ll figure this whole thing out together. Because that’s what people who are getting married should do,’ Robyn told him.

  ‘I shouldn’t have said anything,’

  ‘Do you actually know how hot you look without your shirt on? Do you know how many times I’ve miscounted jars of pickles in the stockroom because I’m thinking about you with no shirt on? Believe me, you don’t have enough fingers to count it. I don’t know if I’m ready or not, but I’m not gonna shatter into a million pieces if you touch me,’ Robyn said.

  ‘I’m not that guy, Robyn, I don’t want to do anything you’re not ready for, but I love you so much and…’ Cole began.

  ‘Shh… just stop talking,’ she said, taking the first step up the stairs.

  *

  She took her T-shirt off and threw it on the floor. She pulled off her socks, hopping on one foot as she made her way over to the bed. She’d run up the stairs and she’d heard him follow her. Another second and he’d be in the room. How did that make her feel? Soon she’d find out.

  *

  He paused outside the door and took a breath. Was this rea
lly what she wanted? Or was she reacting to what he’d said? Maybe she hadn’t really meant it. Perhaps she was waiting to see if he would do the right thing. What was the right thing in this situation? He put his hand on the doorknob.

  *

  ‘I own about ten sets of matching lingerie, all bought by Clive, but I didn’t bring any of them. So, this is it… this is me,’ Robyn said as Cole stepped into the bedroom.

  She was shaking and she didn’t know what to do with herself. How did you make yourself look alluring in a white non-wired bra that had seen better days and plain cotton panties? She wanted to look alluring but she didn’t know where to start. She looked up at him, trying to figure out what he was thinking as he gazed back at her.

  She watched him remove his T-shirt and she swallowed, taking in his toned physique. He was so hot. There wasn’t a better word for it, he was just hot, hot as hell.

  He sat down next to her on the bed and she took hold of his hand. She placed it onto the strap of her bra and took her hand away.

  Cole put his thumb underneath the strap and slowly lowered it down toward her elbow. She took a breath in and closed her eyes as his thumb traced a line over the top of her breast, before moving over to the other strap. He eased it down her arm and teased the fabric over and off her breasts. She felt him unclasp the hook at her back and then he discarded the bra on the floor.

  She opened her eyes to look at him and he caught her mouth with his and pushed her down onto the bed.

  ‘Just hold me and touch me and tell me you love me,’ Robyn begged him as she ran her hands over his shoulders and down his arms.

  ‘I love you Robyn… I love you,’ Cole said and his lips crashed against hers again.

  Thirty-Six

  Robyn let the water run over her face as she showered. Last night had been so different from everything she’d got used to in her life. Cole had touched her and held her like no other man had and although they hadn’t gone the whole way, what they’d done together had been perfect.

  She ran a hand through her hair and it was then she remembered the other events of the night before. The knuckles on her right hand were bruised and sore, and her shoulder ached from the jarring when her hand had connected with Brad’s jaw. She hadn’t known what else to do. Nothing she said to him seemed to sink in. She didn’t want to lose his friendship, but the way things were going, she wasn’t sure how long it would last.