by J. S. Scott
Table of Contents
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ALSO BY J.S. SCOTT The Sinclairs The Billionaire’s Christmas (A Sinclair Novella) No Ordinary Billionaire The Forbidden Billionaire The Billionaire’s Touch The Billionaire’s Voice The Billionaire Takes All The Billionaire’s Obsession Mine for Tonight Mine for Now Mine Forever Mine Completely Heart of the Billionaire – Sam Billionaire Undone – Travis The Billionaire’s Salvation – Max The Billionaire’s Game – Kade Billionaire Unmasked – Jason Billionaire Untamed – Tate Billionaire Unbound – Chloe Billionaire Undaunted – Zane Billionaire Unknown – Blake Billionaire Unveiled – Marcus The Walker Brothers Release! Player The Sentinel Demons A Dangerous Bargain A Dangerous Hunger A Dangerous Fury A Dangerous Demon King The Sentinel Demons – The Complete Boxed Set Big Girls and Bad Boys The Curve Ball The Beast Loves Curves Curves by Design The Curve Collection Boxed Set The Pleasure of His Punishment: Individual Stories or Complete Boxed Set The Changeling Encounters Mate of the Werewolf The
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This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, organizations, places, events, and incidents are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Text copyright © 2017 by J.S. Scott All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, or stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without express written permission of the publisher. Published by Montlake Romance, Seattle www.apub.com Amazon, the Amazon logo, and Montlake Romance are trademarks of Amazon.com, Inc., or its affiliates. ISBN-13: 9781477808894 ISBN-10: 1477808892 Cover design by Laura Klynstra Cover photo by Laura Klynstra
This book is dedicated to my sister, Beth, who left this world unexpectedly and way too soon on March 30th, 2017. She was one of my greatest supporters, the best sister and friend a woman could ask for, and she couldn’t wait for Xander’s book to be published. Sadly, she never got a chance to read his story, but I know that she knew he’d eventually get his own “happily ever after” because I talked to her about his story. I miss you so much, Sissy, and my life will never be the same without you. Thank you for all the years of love and support you gave me. You’ll always live on in my heart and my memories. All My Love, ~ Jan
CONTENTS PROLOGUE XANDER CHAPTER 1 SAMANTHA CHAPTER 2 XANDER CHAPTER 3 SAMANTHA CHAPTER 4 XANDER CHAPTER 5 SAMANTHA CHAPTER 6 XANDER CHAPTER 7 SAMANTHA CHAPTER 8 SAMANTHA CHAPTER 9 SAMANTHA CHAPTER 10 SAMANTHA CHAPTER 11 XANDER CHAPTER 12 SAMANTHA CHAPTER 13 XANDER CHAPTER 14 SAMANTHA CHAPTER 15 SAMANTHA CHAPTER 16 SAMANTHA CHAPTER 17 XANDER CHAPTER 18 SAMANTHA CHAPTER 19 XANDER CHAPTER 20 SAMANTHA CHAPTER 21 XANDER CHAPTER 22 JULIAN CHAPTER 23 SAMANTHA CHAPTER 24 SAMANTHA CHAPTER 25 SAMANTHA CHAPTER 26 SAMANTHA CHAPTER 27 SAMANTHA CHAPTER 28 LIAM CHAPTER 29 XANDER CHAPTER 30 SAMANTHA CHAPTER 31 SAMANTHA CHAPTER 32 XANDER CHAPTER 33 SAMANTHA CHAPTER 34 SAMANTHA EPILOGUE SAMANTHA AUTHOR’S NOTE ACKNOWLEDGMENTS ABOUT THE AUTHOR
PROLOGUE XANDER Over a year earlier . . . I had no idea what it felt like to be dead, but I was starting to wonder if I’d died and was paying for my life on Earth in the depths of Hell. Every muscle in my body was twitching and burning with pain, and I couldn’t control the thoughts—or maybe they were memories—bouncing around in my brain. I tried to open my eyes, but it was too damn painful, so I was stuck with the images I couldn’t make go away. I could remember how badly I’d needed my fix, and how I’d gone to some low-life drug dealer to get the heroin. I’d gotten home and mixed up the injectable version of the drug, unwilling to settle for the effects of smoking or snorting it. I’d been so damn desperate that I had to have immediate relief. I’d found the vein, and recalled the feeling of intense relief once the drug almost immediately hit my system. After that, most of what happened was a blank until the damn paramedics had given me the mother of all shocks to my system . . . the opi
CHAPTER 1 SAMANTHA The present . . . “I hope you’re ready for this.” I nodded at Julian Sinclair as I watched him run a frustrated hand through his hair. “I can handle it, Mr. Sinclair.” I took another sip of my iced coffee, glad that the brother of my next so-called boss had suggested meeting at a coffee shop. Brew Magic had amazing coffee, and I’d needed a pick-me-up. Who knew that the small beach town in Amesport, Maine, was making some of the best coffee I’d ever had? My ass was dragging from getting up early in the morning to drive from New York City to Maine, so I was grateful for the caffeine fix I was eagerly sucking down like it was my savior. “You haven’t met Xander yet,” he warned ominously. “I’ve seen your references, and believe me, we did an extensive background check. And please call me Julian. There are way too many ‘Mr. Sinclairs’ in this town.” “You do understand that I’m just a housekeeper and a cook.” I’d reminded him of this fact several times, but I wanted to make
CHAPTER 2 XANDER All I wanted was a goddamn drink! Why in the fuck was I still fighting falling off the sobriety wagon? The seduction of successfully blocking out reality with alcohol or drugs haunted me every minute of every day, taunting me to give in. I wasn’t bullshitting myself into thinking that one drink would help. I wanted the whole fucking bottle. Yeah, I’d been through the Alcoholics and Narcotics Anonymous routine. More than once. I’d never made it past the first step in the twelve-step programs. I’d given my counselor the necessary assurance that I had so I could get the hell out of rehab. And I could admit that I was powerless in the face of alcohol and drugs. But that was it. There was no sanity for me. I couldn’t give my shit over to a power greater than myself. And I sure as hell had never made some kind of fearless moral inventory of my actions. If I tried to search my soul, all I’d find was an all-consuming darkness. My moral compass was fucked up. The only things ke
CHAPTER 3 SAMANTHA There was a time in my life when I’d loved Xander Sinclair’s music. It had been my solace, my one guilty pleasure. His style had been unique, not quite metal, but expressive rock with some thoughtful ballads thrown into the mix. His words had reached out and spoken to me when he sang. They’d touched my heart and gotten me through some of my darkest days. Meeting him now, even several years after he’d recorded his last song, I couldn’t believe the man and his music were so very different. Shaking my head and longing for the days when Xander had been my hero, I walked into a bedroom, knowing immediately that it was a guest room. Everything was in its place, and it was tidy. Obviously, the owner had spent no time in this space. Hefting my suitcase onto the bed, I tried to focus on what I needed to accomplish. Before I could get anywhere, I needed to clean up the mess Xander had made of the house. The place looked like a tornado had struck and nobody had ever done cleanu
CHAPTER 4 XANDER I woke up the next morning, surprised to see that I’d actually slept the entire night without getting out of bed and pacing the floor. That was usually how I spent my nocturnal hours, tossing and turning, so damn ramped up that I wasn’t able to get more than a few hours of sleep at one time. I rolled onto my back and stared up at the ceiling. I felt . . . rested, and it wasn’t a feeling I was used to experiencing. I knew there was every possibility that the woman staying down the hall in the guest room of my home was completely certifiable. Sure, she’d acted pretty normal last night as she’d sped through the place like she owned it, cleaning up the kitchen, vacuuming, and even dusting. I’d felt kind of bad when she’d started coughing from the dust, but not bad enough to do it myself. I’d taken out the trash that she’d continued to hand me during several trips to the big can outside. I wasn’t sure why I’d done it, but it had seemed easier to just do it than to argue wit
CHAPTER 5 SAMANTHA After I’d done more vacuuming and cleaned the bathrooms, I finally sat down in
the family room with a diet soda, trying to collect my thoughts. The shattered pottery Xander had left had been swept up soon after he’d gone. Maybe it was a good thing that he stormed off. Not for one second had I been afraid of his rage, because I knew that the person he was actually pissed off at was himself. My encounter with Xander this morning had been disturbing. I hadn’t come here looking for any deep connections. My purpose was to help him in any way I could, and he wasn’t ready for any kind of real relationship. I just wanted to be his friend and his confidante. I’d ended up shaken by the emotions that had risen up inside me while he’d held me, so close, but yet so far away from the pain he’d carried for so long. “I’m not sure how to get through to him,” I whispered to myself. It wasn’t that I doubted my persuasive skills or my determination. Hell, I’d offered him my body to get
CHAPTER 6 XANDER “Dammit, Samantha! Wait!” I was calling out to an empty room. Anger welled up inside me, and I grabbed a glass vase from the coffee table and hurled it against the wall. I got very little satisfaction this time out of the sound of shattering glass. “Fuck!” My dick was back in my pants, but I stood in the middle of the room like an idiot, still trying to figure out what had just occurred. I’d wanted . . . and I took what had been offered. Strangely, I’d gotten very little satisfaction out of getting off. Truth was, I wanted to somehow connect with Sam emotionally because I damn well craved it, but I couldn’t. So I’d used the only available means I had to try. And I’d fucked up majorly. “Stupid bastard,” I growled, picking up another small glass ornament from the table. I curled my hand around the small, fragile blown-glass guitar that Micah and Tessa had recently purchased for me while they were in town. I drew my arm back, then put it back down, not wanting to destroy
CHAPTER 7 SAMANTHA Over the next few days, I had to hide the fact that Xander’s pain was tearing my heart to shreds, sending an excruciating ache through my chest in empathy. I hadn’t broken down and cried until I’d gotten safely into my bedroom, after he’d shared why he thought his parents had died and how he still shouldered the blame. I had to stay strong, even though I was actually hurting in a million different ways from seeing Xander vulnerable. Yeah, he was screwed up, but nobody could handle that much heartache without coming out of it a different person. I knew that from experience. Something I could also recognize from his words was that he had to stop feeling so damn guilty. I needed to pry him open somehow, let him see what was real and what wasn’t. He was wallowing in a vat of shame that didn’t exist. I’d talked to Julian enough to know that he’d never blame his younger brother for what had happened to their parents. And I was willing to bet Micah wouldn’t, either. Reality
CHAPTER 8 SAMANTHA Over the next few days, I was relieved to discover that Xander didn’t seem eager to pull back from talking about small, personal things, even though he hadn’t revealed anything more about the traumatic murder of his parents. He started suggesting daily trips to the beach, and we’d joke around, but to my disappointment, he didn’t try to kiss me again. We settled into a regular routine. He worked out early in his home gym, so I cooked breakfast at about the same time every morning, and then he’d wander into his office to use the computer, or turn on the television while I did whatever cleaning I needed to do. By lunch, I was almost always done tidying up, so we ate something easy, then headed to the beach. Strangely enough, he started joining me while I cooked dinner. He usually offered to help, and I let him. I gave him the simple tasks, and slowly taught him to make what he liked to eat. I didn’t care if he was a billionaire who never had to lift a finger to do anyth
CHAPTER 9 SAMANTHA “Xander? What in the hell are you doing here?” Micah asked in surprise as we entered Tessa’s hospital room. Everyone was there, but Tessa had a large, private room, so there was plenty of space, even though Micah, Julian, and Liam were all present at Tessa’s bedside. There was also a redheaded female present, a woman I assumed was Julian’s wife. I hadn’t yet met Micah in person, but I’d had conversations with him on the phone, and recognized him from photos I’d seen from time to time in the media. I cringed as I saw the crestfallen look on Xander’s face as he finally said, “I thought I was family. I thought I’d be welcome here.” I held my breath for a moment, hoping that his brothers didn’t rebuff Xander’s attempt to be part of the family again. Leaving his safe environment to come to New York hadn’t been easy for him. Coming here had been a major step forward, and the last thing I wanted was for his brothers to inadvertently push him back. Micah shook his head. “I d
CHAPTER 10 SAMANTHA “I should have gotten something better than pizza,” Xander said in a disgusted voice. “It’s New York City, home of some of the best restaurants on the planet.” “I asked for pizza,” I reminded him as we hung out in one of the most incredible hotel rooms I’d ever seen. Of course, we were staying in an expensive penthouse, and it had amazing views of the city. “This place is a lot bigger than my old apartment,” I told him. “Micah still has a place here in New York, but I wanted to give him some space. He’s going to stay here for a few days with Tessa after she’s discharged to make sure she’s up to flying,” he shared. I went into the fully furnished kitchen to get some plates and napkins for our pizza. “Staying here isn’t exactly a hardship,” I called to him as I pulled plates out of the cupboard. I piled both plates with our newly delivered dinner, then grabbed a couple of sodas from the full bar, trying not to think about how much the hotel would probably charge for b
CHAPTER 11 XANDER I woke up that night to the sound of Samantha’s bloodcurdling scream. I bolted upright as the next strangled cry got louder and more terrified than the one before it. “Holy fuck!” I cursed, then vaulted out of bed to sprint to her room next door, not caring that I was as naked as the day I was born. I slammed my hand against the light switch, flooding the room with illumination. “Sam,” I bellowed, afraid of what might be happening to her. She wasn’t the type of woman to panic over nothing. I’d kill whoever it was that was hurting her. Stopping short of the bed, I realized nobody was touching her, and there wasn’t anyone or anything out of place in the room. Her scantily clad body was thrashing in the bed, her blonde hair tangled across her face as she seemed to be fighting some kind of war in her nightmare. “No, please. Don’t,” she whimpered. My heart fucking slammed against my chest wall as I realized she was caught in a nightmare she obviously couldn’t escape. Chris
CHAPTER 12 SAMANTHA For the first time since I’d met Xander, I felt completely vulnerable. It wasn’t a situation I’d ever wanted to experience, but I couldn’t avoid it. I’d gotten too close, near enough to get burned, but the pull of my desire for him was too damn painful to ignore anymore. Instinctively, I knew if he touched me, everything was going to be different. It would change our relationship. It wasn’t going to be like the first time. But I couldn’t bring myself to care enough about being at his mercy to give a damn. My need was too strong. My desire was too white-hot. And my feelings for this broken man who was trying so damn hard to figure things out were too raw. I knew him. I understood him. And for some strange reason, he was the one who made my loneliness easier to bear. Xander had penetrated a part of me that I allowed no one to enter, and now that he was there, I wanted more. He’d dropped me on the center of the bed, my head resting on the pillows. His powerful arms had
CHAPTER 13 XANDER I’m in deep shit! It was the only thing I could think about as I jogged on the treadmill in the gym of the hotel the next morning. I was in cooldown after running for so long that the muscles in my legs were on fire. Last night had been for Sam, but Jesus, I woke up wanting her so badly that I’d needed to blow off some steam. My cock was now deflated, but there was an ache in my chest that wasn’t caused by my heavy breathing, or the excessive exercise so damn early in the morning. I’d wanted to avoid the crowd, and I had. I was the only person present in the gym, which wasn’t surprising since it was probably only around six o’clock in the morning. I’d gotten here around five, ready to outrun my desire to fuck Samanth
a until she was begging for mercy. “Why am I not surprised to see you here?” I heard Liam Sullivan’s voice call out from the entrance. I hit the “Stop” button and jumped off the machine to turn to Liam. “What’s wrong? Is it Tessa?” He held up a hand. “Noth
CHAPTER 14 SAMANTHA We ended up staying in New York for a couple of extra days to ensure that Tessa was well and ready to travel home with Micah the following day. To my surprise, Xander had even wanted to go out to see some of the things he’d never had the time to visit on his previous stays in New York. We’d strolled through Central Park, gone to the top of the Empire State Building, and visited the 9/11 Memorial. Then, last night he’d taken me out for dinner in a trendy New York restaurant. I couldn’t say he’d seemed completely at ease, but he seemed to be getting more comfortable every time he was out in public. Occasionally, I’d still see that startled, deer-in-the-headlights expression on his face every time we heard a loud noise, but he fought his way out by quickly reminding himself where he was and what he was doing. He resisted the flashbacks, and he seemed to be making progress at avoiding them. Constant exposure to the things that made him nervous was slowly desensitizing h
CHAPTER 15 SAMANTHA Xander changed after the visit to his parents’ graves. He was more willing to talk, listen, and just take each day as it came. He still spent each morning in his office, but he came out to go to the beach with me every afternoon. He reminisced about some happier memories of his childhood, and shared stories about his days on the road with his band. “Have you actually ever been in the recording studio that I assume Micah had built for you?” I cleaned the area occasionally, but the equipment looked unused. We were just settling down to read after dinner, and Xander didn’t look up from his e-reader as he answered, “No.” “Why? The equipment looks amazing.” “It is. Top of the line. All of it. But I told you, my music is gone.” We’d talked about his talent many times, and I knew there was no physical impediment with his ability to play, write, or sing. It was a block that was mental and not physical. “It will come back someday.” I was fairly certain that his reluctance wa
