by J. S. Scott
CHAPTER 16 SAMANTHA A few weeks later, I watched Xander as we sat around Micah’s dinner table with his two brothers and their wives. The conversation had been easy, but I knew Xander wanted to tell his brothers more about the night his parents were murdered. Micah had invited his brothers over for dinner, and I was pretty sure he was surprised when his youngest brother not only accepted, but asked if he could bring me along. We were finished with an incredible meal that Tessa had made herself, and were now lingering over dessert and coffee. I really wasn’t worried about how Micah and Julian would react to any of Xander’s information. Even though Xander might not always see it, his older brothers loved him, and weren’t going to place any blame on him. I guess I was just hoping he wouldn’t beat himself up again. The last few weeks had been a welcome break. Although we’d spent most of our time at home, it had been a more relaxed atmosphere now that we were both completely acknowledging ou
CHAPTER 17 XANDER “Goddamnit!” I cursed, starting to follow Samantha. I wasn’t done with her yet. I wanted to know the price that had bought her, convinced her that coming to Amesport to deal with an alcoholic and junkie was worth the hassle of dealing with a scarred-up bastard like me. My whole body was shaking with rage when Micah and Julian grabbed me from behind. I fought to escape, and I nearly pulled away, but in the end, both of them were too much for me, even if I was fighting with rage. “What in the hell are you doing, Xander?” Julian asked in a graveled voice as he wrapped his arms around my chest from behind. “Have you lost your mind?” “Fuck you,” I told him, shrugging off his hold when he finally loosened his grip. “How much were you paying her? What was the final payment?” “Dumbass! Listen to me,” Micah grumbled as he backed off. “There was no payment.” “I don’t believe you,” I answered, furious with my brothers, my sense of betrayal so damn painful that I wanted to start
CHAPTER 18 SAMANTHA “Stay, Sam. Please.” His words stopped my progress, and I turned around to look at him, even though I didn’t really want to. The pain in his voice wrenched at my heart, and the desperation in his dark eyes nearly destroyed me. Don’t listen. Move on. There’s nothing but heartbreak for me here. I know better than to be pulled in by him again. Xander had issues that only he could resolve. I couldn’t fix him, and I didn’t want to. “I need to go.” “I’m sorry, Samantha. Please. There’s nothing I won’t do to try to get you to stay. I spoke in anger. I thought you’d betrayed me, that you were using me.” “That’s the problem. I’m not sure you can ever trust anyone.” I went back up the steps because I still had something to say. I’d had my own reasons for coming to Amesport, and I was going to tell him the entire truth before I left. Xander followed me as I left my suitcase in the hallway and strode into the family room. “I trust you,” he argued. “It was a gut reaction.” I cro
CHAPTER 19 XANDER Even if my life had been completely fucked up, I was feeling like today was my lucky day. Yesterday, Samantha had given my sorry ass one more chance to show her that I was willing to do anything to keep her in my life. And I sure as hell wasn’t wasting it. We’d slept in separate beds last night because she wanted to take it slow. Although that decision didn’t sit well with me, I would just have to man up and deal with it. Sex wasn’t all I needed from her. I had to have more. A lot more. I needed her trust, and that was something I was going to have to earn. I wasn’t sure if I’d ever been good at spilling my guts to anybody, even my brothers. Being vulnerable, making somebody that important to my happiness, was too damn scary. Once a dude turned that power over to a woman, they had the ammunition to crush a guy into a million different pieces because they knew his weaknesses. Nope. I hated the very idea of giving anybody that much control over me. But letting Samantha
CHAPTER 20 SAMANTHA “Now that I think of it, I could have done better than this,” Xander grumbled as a pretty young brunette waitress delivered our lobster rolls. “Better?” I asked curiously. Xander and I had meandered down Main Street, and he’d been patient while I hit every shop that drew my interest. At some point during the afternoon, I’d felt the tension drain out of him, and he started teasing me about my tendency to find something I liked in every little tourist shop. I hadn’t bought much, but I loved to look. “I have a private plane. I could have taken you on a dream date anywhere in the world. Instead, we’re having lobster rolls in a dive.” “It isn’t a dive,” I protested, looking around the quaint restaurant. Liam had apparently done a remodel on his eatery near the pier, and I loved the adorable beach theme complete with antique fishing equipment, and the pretty coastal colors. It was small, but it added to the friendly atmosphere. Brooke, our waitress, was attentive and alwa
CHAPTER 21 XANDER “Did you really have to hurt the guy that bad? He’s in the hospital.” I glared at my cousin Dante, the chief of police in Amesport, through the bars of my jail cell. I was pissed as hell that he’d arrived before I could kill the guy who was trying to drag Samantha to his car. “He deserved worse. He was trying to take her away.” Dante shook his head. “He didn’t even know what he was doing, Xander. He was so drunk he thought she was his girlfriend.” “I don’t give a fuck!” I growled. “He had his arms around her neck. She probably couldn’t even breathe.” “I told you that she’s fine now.” “I still don’t give a fuck.” I dropped onto the sleeping bunk, the only seat in the barred room. I’d wanted to kill the asshole who was hurting Sam the minute I saw him manhandling her. “Mistake or not, he was choking her out. Tell me you wouldn’t go ballistic if some guy did that to Sarah.” “Believe me. I get it. Sarah was stalked by a crazy man, and he held her hostage. I know how it fe
CHAPTER 22 JULIAN “What in the hell got into Xander?” I asked Micah as I flopped onto his living-room couch. Tessa had gone to bed, and I’d texted Kristin to tell her I was stopping at Micah’s for a short time before I made it home. I assumed my wife had probably gone to bed, too. It was pretty damn late, but Micah and I were both still wide awake after our trip to town to help Xander. Micah dropped into a chair. “Hell, I can’t really blame him for this one. If somebody tried to drag Tessa off, I’d probably want to kill the guy, too.” “I get that,” I agreed, knowing I’d feel the same way if it was Kristin. “But since when has Xander shown enough emotion to get into a fight with a drunk?” “Wouldn’t be the first time,” Micah said with a smirk. “Xander might have the kindest heart in the Sinclair family, but he was always up for a fight if there was something wrong. Remember the time he was just getting into high school, and he beat the crap out of a guy who was bullying a nerd? He spent
CHAPTER 23 SAMANTHA “Don’t pull away,” I demanded. “You need ice on that eye.” Grumbling something I didn’t understand, Xander reached up and held the cold pack I’d made for his eye. His handsome face was a mess, and his left eye was swelling and bruised from where he’d taken a massive punch. I sat down on the couch next to him, watching to make sure he kept the cold pack over his injury. I’d been shocked to realize I’d slept all the way back to Xander’s house, waking up only as he lifted me out of the passenger seat of his vehicle when we’d arrived home. Sleep had fled in a hurry once I realized I had Xander back with me, and he was injured from his scuffle with my annoyingly drunk attacker. “What were you thinking, Xander?” I asked with a sigh. He shrugged. “I was thinking that the asshole was hurting you and he needed to die. I was trying to protect you.” My heart stuttered. Nobody had been there to protect me or watch out for me for a very long time. Even though his attempt was mis
CHAPTER 24 SAMANTHA My body tensed with excitement as he raked his eyes over my face, his expression determined and stubborn. “Your turn for what?” I asked breathlessly, pulling on the wrists he had confined over my head. “My turn to make you come so hard you’ll forget your own name,” he rasped. He’d mentioned that he liked to be dominant, and my body was responding to his bossy tone. “You want to be the boss?” I asked playfully. “Baby, I am the boss,” he responded arrogantly. “You aren’t going anywhere.” Heat sparked through my body as hi
s demanding tone lit a fire inside me that was about to become a roaring inferno. Xander was meant to be dominant, and probably had been before he’d been injured. I was an independent woman, but I had no problem playing this game with him. “What if I wanted to get away?” “I’d still make you come. You gave up any possibility of escape the minute you took off your clothes,” he answered roughly. “Then tell me what you want,” I purred. “You,” he insisted.
CHAPTER 25 SAMANTHA A few weeks later, I was smiling as I walked down Main Street and spied Xander striding toward me. He was in his usual dark T-shirt and black jeans, his gorgeous eyes hidden by a pair of dark sunglasses as he moved down the street with a sexy, powerful stride that immediately lightened my heart. Little by little, he was getting more comfortable in his own skin again, and he didn’t seem afraid to go out in public anymore. I saw an occasional reaction to loud noises and crowds from his PTSD, but he was getting better and better at not reacting as he became accustomed and exposed to the outside world again. I’d done some shopping while Xander had gone to a morning appointment with a counselor. It hadn’t been easy to get him back into therapy, but if he was going to continue to recover, he needed it. He’d come so damn far, and he’d promised me that he was opening up to the male psychologist I’d searched out for him. Of course, in his usual Xander way, he’d questioned th
CHAPTER 26 SAMANTHA For a fairly small town, Amesport had an amazing farmers’ market. It was mostly locals, but there was a fair number of people strolling the aisles for fresh produce and crafts. I picked out more vegetables, then handed them off to Xander. “I’m starting to feel like your pack mule,” he joked. “At least you’re making yourself useful. If I have to cook, you get to carry the stuff.” I didn’t have much choice but to cook. Xander was trying, but most of his dishes came out inedible. He still needed a lot more practice because he was far too impatient to be turning out anything edible. “Don’t even try to pay for that,” he growled as I fumbled with my purse. “I can pay for a few vegetables, Xander,” I answered in an exasperated voice. He hadn’t let me pay for anything, and he was pretty loaded with bags of produce and fruits. “Don’t do it,” he warned. “Reach into my front pocket.” He was rearranging the bags so he could carry them easier. Unable to resist messing with him,
CHAPTER 27 SAMANTHA I was writing on my computer the next day when I heard the distant sound of music. I’d just finished relating my own experiences in my book, and I was happy to have that part of it finished. I’d had a couple of nightmares while I’d been reliving that horrible time in my life, and I was glad to get on with more about the recovery process. I stopped tapping on my keyboard from my position on the family-room sofa for a moment, listening. Drawn by the familiar sound of Xander’s voice, I set my computer aside and moved toward his studio. It was soundproof, so I was assuming he hadn’t closed the door. With every step, the music grew louder, and as I halted just short of the door to the studio, my heart stuttered at the sound of his soulful voice. One of the things I’d always loved about Xander’s songs was that you could feel his music. The emotion I could sense in my soul when he sang had never failed to move me like no other artist ever had. It was no different now. The
CHAPTER 28 LIAM “I have to leave again next week, Brooke. I’m sorry that I have to put you in charge. I’m not usually gone very often.” Brooke looked up at me with those baby-blues, and my dick got instantly hard. With her dark locks confined in a ponytail, and her face devoid of almost any makeup, she was still the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen. Or was she actually still pretty much a girl? Hell, I wasn’t sure. All I knew was that she was driving me bat-shit crazy. “It’s fine, Liam. You need to be with your sister. Everything will be okay here,” she answered with empathy. Damn. She was sweet. That was one of the reasons I was so hot for her all the time. She worked so hard, and was way too nice for a jaded bastard like me. “Thanks,” I said abruptly, turning back to my job of deshelling lobster while Brooke set everything else up for opening. “Is it okay if I take a few days off when you get back?” she questioned mildly. “I have some personal things I need to deal with.” “Your boy
CHAPTER 29 XANDER Maybe this was a bad idea! I wrestled with the bow tie of my tuxedo as I stared into the mirror, seeing nothing except my scars. That’s what I was . . . a nicely dressed guy with a less-than-perfect mug. The trip to New York had been uneventful so far. Luckily, everything went well for Tessa, and I had no doubt she and Micah were intimately celebrating this evening. As usual, Micah had been a mess, but Tessa’s joy made him get over his nerves in a hurry. Liam, Julian, and I were headed back to Maine the day after tomorrow, but Micah and Tessa were staying for a week or so to make sure all was well with the implants. We’d spent all day with my brothers and Liam, but tonight . . . that was for Samantha. “I had to pick a fancy restaurant,” I admonished out loud as I turned away from the mirror. My main objective was to look good and treat Sam as well as she deserved. Honestly, I loved the fact that she was down-to-earth and didn’t expect me to act like a rich guy with an
CHAPTER 30 SAMANTHA I gazed in awe at the lights of New York from the top of the Empire State Building. It was getting late, and it was the perfect way to end the surreal evening that I’d just spent with Xander. His arms were wrapped around my waist from behind, and I rested my head on his shoulder, wishing I could stay like this forever. The musical had been magical, and when he’d hauled me up here just to see the views, I’d never been more entranced with his charisma. He was a romantic, even though I was pretty sure he’d deny it. The whole evening had been planned just to please me, and I think that was what choked me up the most about this whole experience. Getting dinner reservations and those theater tickets had taken some planning. I could tell he hated the tux, and I’d seen him put a finger underneath the starched collar occasionally in an effort to loosen it a bit, but I was pretty sure it hadn’t helped. All of this . . . the entire night . . . had been mapped out just to make
CHAPTER 31 SAMANTHA “You don’t have to do this, Xander. You’ve proven to yourself that you can go back to your music any time that you want.” My plea was uttered in fear as we stood in the tiny backstage area of the temporary platform at the fairgrounds. Had I pushed too hard to get him performing again when all I really wanted was for him to find his creativity? Now that I heard the thundering sound of the local band who was performing before Xander on the outdoor stage, I wasn’t absolutely certain I’d done the right thing. It was Labor Day weekend, and the crowds were horrific for a small town. The show and the traveling carnival at the fairgrounds had brought in a horde of last-minute visitors to the coast. Not to mention the fact that there were rumors that Xander Sinclair was going to perform a few songs for the very first time in years. I wasn’t sure how word had traveled. The appearance should have been spontaneous. Nevertheless, we’d all heard rumblings around town for the last
CHAPTER 32 XANDER There was no fucking way I was going to make some other kind of contract or agreement with Samantha. Not unless it was a fucking marriage license that would land us together for the rest of our goddamn lives. I wanted Sam to stay because she wanted me. I wanted to be her choice, not her obligation. I looked at Julian, furious that he’d even suggest that I ask her to stay even if I had to pay her. My cousins were spread out backstage, and Micah and Julian were the only two next to me. He shrugged. “It was just a thought. I know how much she’s done for you, and I know how much you want her to hang around. She seems to like it here.” My gaze turned toward a black curtain where Tessa and Kristin came in to join their husbands. Since I couldn’t hear what the women were discussing, I continued, “I love her, Julian. I love her like you love your wife. Do you think I’m going to be happy to keep her around as a high-paid companion? Do you think she’s even going to agree to som
CHAPTER 33 SAMANTHA I huddled on a forest floor that was cushioned with fallen leaves and debris, the sound of the fair muted by distance. It didn’t matter that I was probably scratched up ove
r nearly every exposed part of my body. I’d plowed through the trees, my only objective to get away from everything and everyone as I sobbed my heartache away in private. I swiped at a tree branch in the darkness as it scratched my face. I’d been sobbing for a long time, but the painful knife in my heart was still there, and nothing I could do would make it leave. Trying to reason, I’d started to work out the situation, but I never got further than Xander doesn’t want me. I couldn’t get past that fact and plan what I was going to do in light of this information. I was utterly, completely, and totally destroyed, and there wasn’t a single rational thought in my head at the moment. I’m a goddamn professional. I should be able to handle this with more grace! Problem was, I wasn’t thinking like a thera
CHAPTER 34 SAMANTHA “Jesus! What in the hell did you do to yourself, Samantha?” Xander asked gruffly as he ran his fingers and eyes over my naked body, looking for any tiny cuts or scratches he hadn’t already seen. We’d been in the master shower for at least a half hour so he could make sure none of my injuries were dire. I could have told him that they were just scratches, but I think I secretly liked the way he was fussing over me right now. Having somebody who cared as much as Xander was something pretty special for a woman who had been alone for over a decade. “Xander, they’re clean,” I assured him. Honestly, it was a good thing he had hot water on demand or we would have run out of warmth a while ago. He had an antibacterial wash in his hand, and he’d been using it since soon after we entered the shower. I was surprised the bottle wasn’t empty. The man needed a distraction. Badly. I took the nearly empty bottle from his hand. “Give me this.” “Wait, I’m not sure . . .” Oh, he was d
