The Billionaire's Secrets (The Sinclairs Book 6)

by J. S. Scott

  My core flooded with heat as I devoured him with my eyes. The scars he bore didn’t detract from the strength and beauty of his body. Every muscle was defined and perfect, his chest smooth except for the faded scars. I lifted my hands to touch him, and he froze in place.

  Putting my palms on his chest, I let my hands roam over his warm skin, delighting in the flex of his muscles as I traced the pattern of his six-pack abs. His jeans rode low on his hips. It was sexy, but what I really wanted was to touch all of him. But as I reached for the buttons on his jeans, Xander snatched my wrist.

  “Don’t,” he requested in a scratchy low baritone. “If you touch me there, I’m screwed.”

  “I want to touch you everywhere,” I told him boldly.

  “Jesus, Sam. I want that, too. It makes me crazy that my scars don’t turn you off.”

  “They don’t,” I agreed. “When I look at them, all I can see is your strength.”

  I only got a quick glimpse at the ferocious need on his face before he grasped the bottom of my T-shirt to pull it over my head, making me shiver with a primitive desire that I couldn’t control.

  “Do you know how fucking crazy it makes me that you almost never wear a bra?” he growled as he pulled the shirt over my head and dropped it on the floor. “These . . .” He cupped my breasts sensually, then lazily ran his thumbs over my nipples. “Every time I see your nipples getting hard, I want to fuck you. Or maybe I should say I want to fuck you more. There’s not a moment when you’re around me that I don’t want to be inside you.”

  My head fell back for a moment as sensation flooded my body from his erotic touch. “Yes. Please. Touch me.”

  “I plan on it, sweetheart,” he rasped as his hands went to the zipper of my jeans. He quickly popped the button and worked fervently to get me naked.

  I missed feeling his hands on my nipples, but I helped him shuck off my jeans and my panties until I stood in front of him completely nude.

  His hands were suddenly everywhere, touching my breasts, my belly, my ass, and then delving between my thighs.

  “This is what I wanted last time, Sam. I wanted to see you like this. I wanted you needy and naked. I was just too fucking afraid to open and bare myself to anybody.”

  “What changed?” I asked breathlessly, my hands on his shoulders to steady myself.

  “Me,” he answered. “You’re starting to make me believe I can have everything I want. That I actually deserve it.”

  “You do,” I replied in a husky whisper.

  “I also realized what a dickhead I actually am. You deserved better. You should have everything you want.”

  “I want you,” I moaned as his fingers played in the moist heat of my pussy, and grazed over my clit.

  “Fuck! I haven’t figured out why yet, but I’m not going to question how goddamn lucky I feel that you actually do.”

  His answer made my heart ache, and I speared my hands into his hair and fisted it as his mouth swooped down to capture mine. It was a kiss born of pure need, and I played with his marauding tongue, twisting mine around his in a fiery duel. My fist grasped his hair tighter, and I pressed my body into his, trembling with an intense carnality I’d never felt before as his hands stroked down the bare skin of my back and down to my ass.

  This time, when he lifted his mouth, I gasped, “Fuck me, Xander. Please. I ache.”

  He jammed his hand into the pocket of his jeans and pulled out a condom before he hastily shed the denim and his boxer briefs. “Christ, Sam! I wanted to go slow. I wanted to take my time. But everything with you is so fucking intense.”

  Intense?

  Yeah, it was the perfect description of the way everything had always been since the moment I’d met Xander. And the level of intensity had never stopped.

  I took the condom from his hand and ripped open the package, then frantically tried to roll it on myself.

  In the end, Xander had to help me, and I noticed both of our hands were shaking as we covered his cock.

  His hand went between my thighs again, and I moaned as he teased and played there like he owned it.

  “You feel so damn good, Samantha,” he said hoarsely. “So wet and hot that all I want is to be inside you.”

  I wanted that, too, and he was driving me crazy. “Then do it,” I demanded.

  “Not too fast,” he said as though he was trying to convince himself. “You’re coming with me this time.”

  I hopped up and wrapped my legs tightly around his waist. “I guarantee I will. Just fuck me.”

  I was half out of my mind with need, and my sheath was throbbing and clenching so hard with the longing for Xander to fill it, fill me.

  He walked forward and pinned my back against the wall, almost in the same place where we’d previously had our encounter. “This will be a hard ride,” he warned ominously.

  “Then I’m willing to crash and burn,” I panted.

  “I’ll keep you safe,” he promised as he removed his hand and replaced it with his cock.

  His hands supporting my ass, he buried himself to the root inside me in one powerful thrust.

  My fingernails sank into his back as I let out a strangled cry of satisfaction. “Yes. Oh, God, yes. That’s what I need.”

  His hot, powerful body surged in and out of my channel, stretching me to the limit. I relished it because it meant I was finally joined with Xander in the most elemental of ways. It satisfied a primordial desire, and my response was completely erotic and carnal.

  My hard nipples abraded against his chest, and I surged forward to greet every stroke, my greedy pussy demanding everything Xander had.

  It wasn’t gentle, but I wouldn’t have been satisfied if it was.

  I wanted it raw and hard. It was the only thing that was going to soothe the aching pain inside me that needed Xander, a yearning that I’d denied for too long.

  We were both drenched in sweat as we tried to reach the same peak together. Then Xander shifted his position, putting more pressure on the throbbing nub of nerves that was pleading for relief.

  My fingernails dug into his back as my climax rolled over me and I screamed as the pulsating waves consumed me. “Xander!”

  I tightened my legs around his waist as I spiraled out of control, and I could feel him shudder as he pounded into me harder before he let out a sexy, throaty groan as he found his own release.

  I’m not certain how long we stayed locked together, Xander’s head dropping onto my shoulder as we both panted for air.

  Holding on to him, I felt vulnerable and drained. Giving him everything had never been part of the plan. But I couldn’t turn back now, and I really didn’t want to.

  “I think I need a shower,” I said as soon as I caught my breath.

  Without lowering me to the ground, Xander starting moving toward the elevator.

  “Where are you going? Xander, put me down,” I squeaked.

  “We’re going to get a shower. I thought that was what you wanted. I’m not letting you go right now, Samantha. I can’t.”

  I let my head drop against his shoulder. I wasn’t ready to let go of him, either.

  I sighed, letting him carry me all the way to the bathroom so we could shower together. I was done trying to keep Xander at a distance. I’d just have to hope that letting him in completely wasn’t the biggest mistake of my life.

  CHAPTER 16

  SAMANTHA

  A few weeks later, I watched Xander as we sat around Micah’s dinner table with his two brothers and their wives. The conversation had been easy, but I knew Xander wanted to tell his brothers more about the night his parents were murdered.

  Micah had invited his brothers over for dinner, and I was pretty sure he was surprised when his youngest brother not only accepted, but asked if he could bring me along.

  We were finished with an incredible meal that Tessa had made herself, and were now lingering over dessert and coffee.

  I really wasn’t worried about how Micah and Julian would react to any o
f Xander’s information. Even though Xander might not always see it, his older brothers loved him, and weren’t going to place any blame on him.

  I guess I was just hoping he wouldn’t beat himself up again. The last few weeks had been a welcome break. Although we’d spent most of our time at home, it had been a more relaxed atmosphere now that we were both completely acknowledging our attraction. We were both insatiable, and it seemed like we could never get enough of each other.

  I considered it both a curse and a blessing.

  I was happy that he felt the same way I did, but I knew the road I was heading down was a slippery slope to heartache. I already cared more about Xander than I wanted to admit.

  It wasn’t something I’d planned on.

  It wasn’t something I was prepared for, either.

  Nevertheless, I was crazy about Xander Sinclair, and I felt almost powerless to stop the emotions that were nearly eating me alive. It was more than slightly uncomfortable because I wasn’t a woman who was exactly given to emotional extremes. Generally, I knew how to handle almost anything. But with Xander, I was experiencing some powerful stuff that was out of my normal realm of emotions.

  Tension had my muscles in knots, and I was anxious for Xander.

  As it turned out, Micah was the first one to broach the subject of their parents.

  “Liam said you were thinking about going to see Mom and Dad’s grave. Did you make it there?” Micah asked cautiously.

  Xander nodded as he took a sip of his coffee. “Yeah. I think it was about time I got there. I never got to really say good-bye.”

  “I think Mom and Dad would forgive you, Xander,” Julian said drily. “You were in the hospital trying not to die when they were laid to rest.”

  Xander shrugged. “It’s been years. It was time for me to go. I’ve been in denial for a long time.”

  “You okay?” Julian questioned.

  “It wasn’t easy. I still feel guilty about what happened,” Xander answered flatly.

  “Why?” Micah’s voice was confused.

  “I never told either one of you about this, but the guy who killed Mom and Dad wasn’t exactly a random killer. He was specifically after me.” Xander’s voice turned grim as he continued, “He wanted me dead. That’s why he tracked me down. It just so happened that I was at their home at the time. Our parents were collateral damage to him, or maybe he just killed them because I loved them. I never figured out why he hated me, I just knew he did.”

  I reached under the table and took Xander’s hand. He entwined our fingers and squeezed.

  “We already knew that he was after you,” Julian shared.

  Xander’s head came up as he shot a startled look at his brothers. “What do you mean? How could you know?”

  “We got a call from the police while you were in the hospital. They said they had reason to believe Terrence Walls was a deluded psychopath who was targeting you. I didn’t really pay that much attention. The guy was dead. I was more worried about whether or not you were going to live.” Micah frowned as he added, “What in the hell do you feel guilty about?”

  “If I hadn’t been at Mom and Dad’s house, they’d still be alive.”

  Kristin broke in carefully, “Xander, why would you feel guilty about something you couldn’t control? He was nuts.”

  “Are you under some illusion that we actually think their deaths were your fault?” Julian asked.

  “My career put me in the spotlight,” Xander argued.

  “So did mine,” Julian retorted. “But I’d hope to hell nobody would blame me because some lunatic decided I needed to get dead.”

  “I blamed myself,” Xander admitted. “I always have.”

  “Then stop it,” Tessa said emphatically. “We’re grateful that you didn’t die, Xander. All we want is for you to be happy. You’ve been through so much. Nobody blames you. It was a tragic incident. That’s all.”

  Tessa was sitting right across from Xander, and appeared to have been reading his lips. I wasn’t sure exactly what he signed back to her, but it made her smile tenderly at him. I was pretty sure it was a thank-you of some kind.

  “It’s time to move on,” Micah said huskily. “Mom and Dad are gone, and we’re always going to miss them. But both of them would have wanted us to keep on living our lives. They’d hate it if they knew you were wallowing in guilt. You know how much they supported us in everything we did. They wouldn’t like it if any of us were unhappy. And you know they’d want us to stick together as family.”

  “I know,” Xander admitted in a hoarse voice. “I realize now that they wouldn’t have liked what I became after they died, either.”

  “But they would love how hard you’re fighting now, Xander,” Kristin said gently. “They’d be proud of you. I know they would.”

  I breathed a sigh of relief as I saw the love and support Xander’s brothers and their wives were willing to give him. The scene also touched me to the point that I wanted to weep. This family had been through so much, yet they’d never given up hope that their youngest sibling would recover from his addictions. I knew that Micah and Julian had been there every time Xander overdosed or needed help. They had even been there when their youngest brother didn’t want help.

  Xander snorted at Kristin’s comment. “I think they would have been a hell of a lot happier if I’d just never become a junkie in the first place.”

  Every head turned toward Xander, looking at him as he cracked a small smile.

  He’s actually laughing at himself. Making fun of his own mistakes. I smiled because he was finally able to give himself some slack about his past. He wasn’t beating himself up; he was making fun of a bad situation in his past that he couldn’t change.

  Julian picked up on Xander’s dark humor. “Maybe. But they did always tell us that we didn’t have to be perfect.”

  Micah chimed in, “Damn good thing. I don’t think any one of us could claim we didn’t make mistakes.”

  Kristin jabbed Julian with her elbow. “You try to tell me you don’t,” she accused.

  We all laughed, including Xander, and I felt the tension that was hanging over his head lessen. Everybody at the table was laughing and joking, doing what siblings should do when they got together.

  Looking around at the group of Sinclairs, I couldn’t help but feel slightly wistful, wondering what my life would be like if I hadn’t lost my whole family years ago. It had been a long time, and I knew that nothing would come of thinking about the what-ifs that always came to mind when I thought about my parents and siblings.

  What would my family be like now?

  How would my siblings act when they’d grown up?

  Would we still be close?

  Those were all questions I’d never know the answers to, and every once in a while, it still made my chest ache because they were all gone. One senseless act of violence had taken every single soul I loved in an instant.

  It was moments like these, when I saw a loving, supportive family, that I thought about my own.

  “Hey, you okay?”

  I startled when I heard Xander’s voice next to my ear. Somehow I’d gotten lost in my own world for a moment. “Yeah. I’m fine,” I assured him.

  “You looked sad,” he said quietly.

  I shook my head. “I was just thinking about how lucky you are to have such a great family.”

  Everyone else was caught up in their own conversations, so nobody heard my comment.

  “You were thinking about your family,” Xander guessed.

  I nodded. “Even though it’s been years, it still hurts sometimes.”

  “Where is your family?” Kristin asked politely.

  I hadn’t realized she’d heard Xander’s comment until she spoke from her place right next to me.

  The dining room grew quiet, everyone looking at me expectantly.

  Xander intervened. “Kristin, right now probably isn’t a good time—”

  “It’s okay,” I interrupted. “It’s not lik
e it’s a secret, and I came to terms with what happened a long time ago.” I turned to Kristin. “My parents and all of my siblings died over a decade ago. They were murdered.”

  A collective gasp went through the room. “Oh, my God, Samantha. I’m so sorry,” Kristin said, sounding mortified.

  I opened up and told my story, Xander still holding my hand tightly under the table, his thumb supportively caressing my palm. By the time I’d finished my story, every pair of eyes at the table looked troubled.

  Tessa shook her head in disbelief. “I can’t tell you that I know how you felt because I could never imagine experiencing that kind of pain. I know the pain of losing parents. We all do. But I still have Liam, and the guys still have each other.”

  “Is that why you’re here?” Julian asked. “Is that why a psychologist took a position as a housekeeper? You wanted to help Xander because he lost his parents, too?”

  I shook my head emphatically.

  “What?” Xander’s voice was confused, and he pulled his hand away from mine. “What is Julian talking about? You’re a psychologist?”

  “You didn’t tell him?” Micah asked remorsefully. “We figured you had. You two seem close, and there was the matching thing with Beatrice. I’m sorry we brought it up.”

  “I’m sorry,” Julian parroted.

  My heart sank to my feet. “I was going to tell him soon,” I confessed. “But no, he didn’t know.”

  “Will somebody enlighten me so I know what the fuck you’re talking about?” Xander insisted in a defensive voice.

  Julian spoke first. “It’s not a big deal. Samantha is a psychologist who deals with PTSD and victims of traumatic events in New York. She wanted a break, so she came and accepted the position we offered her here. We knew she probably wouldn’t stay after the summer was over, but we were hoping her experience would help.”

  Xander stood. I could tell he was angry, but I rose up next to him. “I was going to tell you. It doesn’t really matter. I wasn’t here to officially counsel you.”

  “But you did,” he said with his jaw clenched. “You came here to mess with my head, and guess what . . . it worked. I bought all the crap about you thinking I was attractive. I fell for you thinking you actually gave a fuck about me.”