Eye Candy

by Ryan Schneider

  “Candy, can you hear me?” Danny cried.

  Les stepped in front of the camera. “Oh, she can hear you just fine, sport.” Les leaned in close, and his face filled the monitor. He spoke in a conspiratorial whisper. “I’m just not sure she gives a shit.”

  Les leaned away, and Candy was visible once more. Harley walked into the frame. She handed Les a fresh Diet Coke and sat on the sofa beside Candy, popping the top on her own soda.

  Les’s face appeared. He made a show of opening his Diet Coke and taking a long, slow sip. “That is refreshing.”

  “What do you want?” Danny asked.

  “I want you to shut your filthy fuckin’ piehole and let me speak. You know, for a guy with a Ph.D., you’re not very bright.” Les looked over his shoulder and spoke to Candy and Harley. “One of the preeminent minds in his field and he can’t follow simple instructions? Are you sure this is the Daniel Olivaw?”

  Harley shrugged.

  Les faced the camera again. “Are you sure you’re the Daniel Olivaw? Because, honestly, you could be fuckin’ anybody with all that paint on your face. I want you to listen real close, doctor, because your lady-fair may not want to leave, but there’s someone here who does.”

  Les swiveled the camera again. In the opposite corner were Gali, Copper, and Turing. All three girls were bound at the ankles, with their wrists tied behind their backs. Tape covered their mouths. They lay on the floor. Gali shouted obscenities at Les through the tape on her mouth and struggled against her bonds. Copper lay curled into a ball, weeping. Little Turing lay still, eyes closed. Blood running from a head wound covered half of her face.

  Maggie leaped at the monitor, beating at it with her bare hands. She shrieked with a fury known only by mothers. “You son of a bitch!”

  Tim rushed forward and pulled Maggie away.

  “Wait, it gets better,” said Les. “Now!”

  At his command, two drones seized Gali by her wrists and ankles. The drones picked her up . . . and pulled.

  Gali screamed, despite the tape covering her mouth. Her entire body stiffened.

  “Jesus,” said Les, cringing. “So much for a robot not injuring a human being.”

  “You fucker!” Maggie screamed.

  The drones continued to pull. Gali’s arms and shoulders appeared awkwardly disjointed.

  “Stop!” Maggie shrieked. “Please, I beg of you! Stop! You’re hurting her! My baby. . . .”

  “Stop!” Les commanded.

  The drones released their hold on Gali and her body fell to the floor. Her head hit first with a hard thump. She did not move.

  “Oops,” said Les. “Looks like she decided to take a nap. It’s going to be a permanent fucking coma if you don’t do exactly as I fucking say! I will let those robots pull her fucking arms off and beat the other two to death, so listen up.”

  Les moved closer to the camera.

  “Are you listening? Do I have your un-fucking-divided attention?”

  No one spoke.

  Les crushed the Diet Coke in his meaty hand. A geyser of brown soda squirted out of it. “Goddamnit that was not a rhetorical fucking question! I said, are you listening?”

  “Yes!” Danny shouted. “Please, don’t hurt her anymore.”

  “Oh, I’ll do a helluva lot worse if you don’t do exactly as I say. See, the way I see it, you’re here to rescue your damsel in distress. But, from the look of things, she’s not feeling particularly distressed. In fact, I think she hates your guts. But I’m willing to give her the benefit of a doubt.

  “Now, the recent unpleasantness aside”–Les gestured to where Gali, Copper, and Turing lay on the floor–“I am not a bad guy. I am married and have a family of my own. Granted, all my kids are rotting away in old people’s homes because I won’t share my eugenics program with them, but it’s only because they don’t fucking deserve it. I paid to have my fat-ass kid go to Space Camp ten times. You know how awkward it is to have a twenty-year-old man at Space Camp, surrounded by children? It wasn’t tuition, it was bribery. And it was fuckin’ embarrassing. Now he won’t talk to me because I refused to pay for his kid to go to Space Camp. What happened to the days when people took responsibility for their actions? This used to be a great country and it will be again if I have anything to say about it. Diet Coke!”

  The arm of a drone reached into frame and handed the can to Les.

  Les opened the soda and chugged half of it. “As I was saying, fuckstick, I’m perfectly willing to give you five minutes to proclaim your undying love for Doctor Calvin over there. Hell, I even hope she takes you back. I love a happy ending.”

  Les focused the camera on Candy and zoomed in. “She doesn’t look too happy, sport. Looks like you’ve got some explaining to do. And I’m willing to let you try. So what say we dispense with the chit chat and get down to business? Senator? You’re up.”

  Senator Stein grabbed Danny by the back of his body armor and rammed a pistol into his temple. “Nobody move or robot boy gets it.”

  “No!” yelled Candy.

  “Well, well, well,” said Les, “maybe she loves you after all, doctor. Bring him in!”

  The Senator wrenched Danny’s rifle from his hands and threw it to the floor. “Nobody move!” He cowered behind Danny and pulled him backwards out of the room.

  Tim, Rory, Atom, Poo, Blendo and the others raised their rifles and took aim, angling for a clean shot.

  The senator and Danny maneuvered around the pile of drones and out of the room. The door slammed.

  Poo approached the door. “Kong, can your gatling gun cut through this?”

  “Only one way to find out.” Kong aimed at the door. Poo and the others stood behind him.

  “Don’t waste your time,” said Les. “That’s a titanium alloy door. You’d need an oxy-acetylene torch to cut through it. Besides, haven’t you destroyed enough of my doors?”

  Kong squeezed the trigger. The gatling gun buzzed, the barrels spun, and a burst of bullets hit the door and ricocheted in all directions, sending everyone diving for the floor.

  “See?” said Les. “I told you.”

  Les upended his Diet Coke, waved goodbye, and tapped his tablet. The monitor went dark.

  ~

  Senator Stein shoved Danny across the room full of dead drones and through a door covered in stone made to look like the wall. Behind it lay a long corridor lit by electric torches.

  “Why are you doing this?” Danny asked.

  “Shut up.”

  “Tell me why you’re doing this.”

  “Because Les Grossman asked me to, okay? He’s a big-dick player and I want to be a big-dick player, too. You think I want to be stuck in the Senate the rest of my life? No! I want to make a real difference in this world. Les Grossman is going to be President of the United States and I’m going to be Vice President.”

  “You want to be Vice President?”

  “No, I want to be President. And after Les’s eight years are up, it’ll be my turn. Then I can make things the way they ought to be. But V-P is a good start. It was good enough for John Adams and Thomas Jefferson, and it’s good enough for me.”

  “Grossman has to win the nomination and then the White House first.”

  “Don’t be so naive. Elections aren’t won; they’re bought. Everybody knows that. And Les Grossman has more money than God. When God wants to perform a miracle, He clears it with Les first. Sixteen-hundred Pennsylvania Avenue is a done deal. By this time next year, I’ll be in D.C. Now shut and keep moving.”

  At the end of the hall was a door. The Senator shoved Danny through and into the study Danny had seen on the monitor.

  The fire crackled.

  Candy and Harley sat on the sofa.

  Gali, Copper, and Turing lay on the floor, guarded by the two drones.

  And Les sat on the edge of his broad desk. “There he is. The man of the hour.”

  Candy leaped from the sofa, ran to Danny, and threw her arms around his neck.

  Les
opened a fresh Diet Coke. “Oh, isn’t that lovely. I love a happy ending.”

  Candy looked far into Danny’s eyes. “You came for me.”

  Danny held her close. “Of course. Listen, Candy . . . I’m sorry–”

  “It doesn’t matter,” said Candy. “What’s done is done. We’re together now.”

  “I beg to differ,” said Les. He motioned to the two drones. They seized Danny and Candy.

  Harley rose from the sofa and came forward. “What’re you doing?”

  “Getting ready for the show.” Les tapped his tablet and a live feed of the robot assembly clean room appeared on a large monitor.

  In the room, Poo and Rony were attempting to pry open the titanium alloy door. Atom, Blendo, Zammy, and Delilah were conferring quietly. Helen, Sparky, Romeo, and Blackie and the guys were searching for another way out while Rory, Tim, Maggie, Isaac, Nik, and the others were trying to raise a wide roll-up delivery door.

  “If they only knew what was on the other side of that door,” said Les. He held up the tablet and hovered one meaty index finger over a green button.

  “You said you wouldn’t hurt them,” said Harley.

  “I’m not. Senator Stein’s wonderbots are.”

  “Wait!” Harley pleaded.

  Les tapped the button. “Too late.”

  In the clean room, the lift motor on the roll-up door whirred to life, slowly raising the door.

  “Yes!” Isaac and Nik shouted.

  Nik dropped to the floor and began to slide under the door. But in a matter of seconds he was scrambling backward, away from it. He began pushing Rory and his mom and dad away from the door.

  Dozens of armed Pagaz units waited on the other side. The front line advanced into the factory, guns drawn.

  A shot rang out.

  Blood and tissue erupted from Nik’s stomach. He spun and returned fire, unloading his magazine at the oncoming Pagaz.

  Isaac stood beside his brother, firing everything he had at the Pagaz, while Tim dragged Maggie away and found cover behind a towering yellow robotic arm.

  Nik’s clip ran dry. He expelled it and slammed in another. All the while, round after round struck his body, punching through his body armor and ripping him apart.

  “Armor-piercing rounds,” said Les, glancing over his shoulder to Candy and Danny. “Top of the line. Right, Senator?”

  “The American taxpayers spare no expense when it comes to defending the nation,” said Senator Stein.

  Isaac and Nik stood side by side, guns blazing while round after round found its mark. Nik sank to his knees and fell forward, dead. Bullets struck Isaac and he fell on his back, dead.

  “No!” Maggie screamed. She emerged from behind the robotic arm and fired her rifle, unloading on the Pagaz that shot Nik and Isaac. The Pagaz targeted Maggie, and they advanced on each other, firing as they went, each of them taking damage.

  The Pagaz fell sideways, twitching and smoking.

  Maggie’s eyes rolled back in her head. Her rifle slipped from her hand and clattered to the factory floor. Tim caught her from behind as she collapsed.

  “Maggie! Mags!”

  Maggie’s head lolled. Her arms hung limp at her sides.

  A round struck Tim in the forehead. He fell to the floor with his wife’s body in his arms.

  Blackie, Whitey, VanCat, and Kong charged toward the door and the oncoming Pagaz. Kong led the charge, unleashing the gatling gun.

  Within two strides, a round struck Kong in the forehead. He dropped.

  Blackie hefted the gatling gun from where it lay beside Kong’s lifeless body. Blackie squeezed the trigger just as multiple rounds impacted his body armor. He sprayed the Pagaz with a rain of bullets and bright-orange tracer rounds, fighting through the pain even as a volley of bullets struck his chest and neck, tearing him apart. He dropped the gatling gun, and was dead before his body hit the floor.

  “Priority targeting,” said Senator Stein.

  “Genius,” said Les. “When I’m President, if I get assassinated, you’re going to make one helluva Commander in Chief.”

  Les and the senator slapped a sharp high-five.

  In the clean room, the entire team was assembling around the roll-up door and the Pagaz units.

  A bullet ripped open Atom’s neck. He looked at Blendo, eyes wide. Blendo pressed his hand to Atom’s neck even as bright red arterial blood pumped out of the wound. A peppering of bullets sprayed over Atom and Blendo. They fell and lay still.

  Rony, Bella, and Rukara concentrated their fire on the Pagaz that killed Atom and Blendo, dropping the unit to the floor.

  Nearby Pagaz units targeted them in turn.

  Bullets tore across Rony’s chest. She fell and writhed on the floor, reaching for Poo, then twitched and did not move.

  “No!” Poo screamed. He charged and tackled the Pagaz to the floor, firing as he went. He shot the robot repeatedly in the side of the head, never realizing that the Pagaz had plunged a serrated knife through his abdomen and out his back. Poo collapsed atop the headless Pagaz.

  A bullet hit Rukara in the face, shattering his sunglasses and spraying brain matter over Bella, Zammy, Delilah, and Bernard.

  Bella got off two rounds, hitting in the eye the Pagaz that shot Rukara, dropping it before he and Zammy and Delilah and Bernard were gunned down.

  Whitey and VanCat took cover behind the nearest robotic arm. They aimed, fired, and reloaded, dropping robot after robot. Behind them, an unseen Pagaz emerged through the titanium alloy door.

  “Don’t forget to watch your six,” said Les.

  The Pagaz drew two katanas as it approached Whitey and VanCat. The blades flashed, severing all four of VanCat’s forearms. The four Uzi’s fell to the floor with VanCat’s four index fingers still on the triggers, guns blazing.

  Whitey whirled around and fired several shots into the Pagaz’s breastplate before the blades flashed again. Whitey’s head rolled off his neck and to the floor as his body collapsed.

  VanCat looked at his four arms all pumping out blood. Bullets ripped across him and he fell to the floor.

  “They forgot to watch their six,” said Les.

  Moshe, Tikva, Howard, and Sparky stood in a line, forming a wall behind which Helen, Floyd, Susannah, Canary, and Laura all took cover, emerging to sight, fire, and withdraw quickly. They succeeded in dropping several Pagaz before their success drew scrutiny. Half a dozen Pagaz ran forward. Moshe, Howard, and Sparky charged forward to meet them, firing as they went.

  Bullets ricocheted with showers of sparks.

  The charging robots collided. They fought hand to hand. Moshe tore the head off a Pagaz just as Sparky tore out another’s eyes and Howard fired a pistol under the Pagaz’s chin. A rainbow spray of glittering positrons filled the air and hovered like shimmering dust.

  Then Moshe, Howard, and Sparky were overwhelmed. They fought and struggled but three Pagaz descended upon each of them.

  Moshe’s head was torn off. Tikva screamed and ran toward Moshe, firing at and dropping the Pagaz that had beheaded him. Bullets tore her shining robotic body to shreds before she could reach him.

  Howard lashed out at three different Pagaz, keeping them at bay until two of them grabbed him from behind while the third shoved a katana through Howard’s pewter cranium, dropping him.

  Sparky had two knives driven through his eyes. He struggled valiantly with the hilts protruding from his head. A Pagaz fired a single round into his forehead, spraying blue and pink and green positrons over the white factory floor.

  Helen dropped her gun and stood motionless with her hands over her mouth, eyes fixed on Sparky. Floyd and Susannah pulled her behind a robotic arm as a shot rang out. Helen collapsed to the floor, a single entry wound between her lifeless eyes.

  Canary knelt beside Floyd and Susannah. He ejected his spent magazine and inserted a full one. “We’ve got to get out of here!”

  Laura stood above them, feet planted, jaw fixed and teeth bared, laying down cover fire.
The muzzle flashes from her automatic rifle lit up her face.

  “How?” Floyd yelled.

  “I’ll draw their fire,” said Canary. “You guys run for the door.”

  The side of Canary’s head exploded. He collapsed in a heap.

  “Get ready to move!” Laura cried.

  No one answered. Laura looked down at Canary, into his empty eyes.

  She raised her weapon. “Son of a–” A barrage of bullets knocked her off her feet. She landed hard on her back, her mouth and lungs trying desperately to draw breath. Blood poured from a dozen holes in her body. She lay still.

  Oberon and Romeo stood back to back, firing and turning, covering one another’s blind spots. Until several rounds punched through Romeo’s electronic face. His body quivered and he toppled against Oberon. Oberon turned and caught Romeo as he fell. Bullets ripped into Oberon’s back. He stiffened and sank to the ground beside Romeo.

  A dozen Pagaz converged on Rory, Floyd, and Susannah, who knelt behind a tall yellow robotic arm.

  The Pagaz formed a circle around the three lone survivors.

  Rory, Floyd, and Susannah readied themselves, rifles raised.

  The Pagaz circled.

  “Why don’t they shoot?” Rory asked. “Get this over with.”

  “Sadistic fuckers, aren’t they?” Floyd replied. “Suze?”

  “Yeah?”

  “Is it too late to say I love you?”

  “Of course not.”

  “Then . . . I love you.”

  “I love you, too.”

  Floyd and Susannah kissed.

  The Pagaz opened fire.

  Bullets riddled Rory, Floyd, and Susannah.

  Danny could only watch as the last of his team, the last of his friends, were killed.

  ~

  Les switched off the monitor. “Tough day for Team Olivaw.” Les turned to Senator Stein and Harley. “I think I’d call that a successful field test. Wouldn’t you?”

  “That was a test?” Danny cried. “Those were my friends, you son of a bitch.” Danny yanked his arm out of the drone’s hand and grabbed its other arm. He wrenched it forward, forcing the drone to somersault hard onto its back. Danny dropped a knee on its face and crushed its head.