Breaking the Habit

by Anne Berkeley

  “Can I get you some Midol?” Apathetically, he stuffed the remaining Snowball into his mouth and curled his fingers in Coop’s direction. Bring it on.

  “My God, he didn’t even blink.” I bit my bottom lip, biting back a smile. Cooper thought hard for a minute and then started tapping out another challenge.

  ‘I think Tate’s cheating on me.’

  “I knew it!” Carter exclaimed. While Tate shook his head, watching disapprovingly, Carter set upon Coop with mock commiseration. “Don’t worry, Coop, I’ll marry you. Tate was like a brother to me once, but even after his duplicity, I’ll raise his children as my own.”

  From where her face lay mashed against Carter’s chest, which was covered in pink shreds, Coop gave me a look that said, “See what I have to deal with?”

  “I’ll match whatever you make now,” Tate offered me. “And I’ll have the pool house cleared out so you can have your own space.”

  Jeers sounded across the bus as Marshall and the security team caught wind of their impending eviction. Evan, Derek, and Taylor rotated days, staying on residence. To be fair, they were more than bodyguards. They were part of the band. They were family.

  “I don’t know,” I said, fighting indecision. I’d hoped that once I got home, I could find an excuse to why I couldn’t return. “My car mi—”

  “Car?” Tate interjected. “We have plenty of cars. Besides, the guys will drive you wherever you need to go. We don’t go anywhere without security.”

  I threw a wan smile at Coop. “I don’t know how you live with him, Coop. Does he ever take no for an answer?”

  In explanation, Coop held up her hand and wiggled her ring finger.

  “Ah, damn, I’m in trouble, aren’t I?”

  ‘Is that a yes?’

  “How could I possibly say no?” If Coop weren’t on voice rest, she would have squealed. As it stood, she crushed me in an embrace. I could say no all I wanted, but it wasn’t going to do any good.

  “What’s a matter, Emster,” Carter gibed. “You’re looking a little green.”

  Jerk. “I’m fine.”

  “You sure ‘bout that?”

  “Yep. I was just wondering where you got those Snowballs.”

  “From the kid. He had a whole box of ‘em. Why?” Tearing open a second pack, Carter bit into another cake. It could’ve been the third pack for all I knew.

  “Well, for one, they’re old.”

  Carter glanced at the cake and shrugged, then crammed the rest into his mouth. “They’re like Twinkies. They’d survive the apocalypse.”

  “I suppose if they survived Levy’s diaper, they should.”

  Carter’s mouth fell slack. “What?”

  “He found the box under the bed and had stuffed them into his diaper. I think he was stowing them away like a little squirrel, so he could hide them elsewhere.”

  “Naw.” He turned to Levy, who giggled guiltily. Of course, pretty much any two year old who giggled looked guilty. “Did you have these stuffed in your drawers?”

  “No, I hided them in my pants.”

  “Ugh!”

  I couldn’t help it, nor did I want to, but I laughed. “The plastic wrappers were stuck to his butt.”

  “Stuck,” Carter repeated, “to his butt?”

  “Well, his skin was damp—” I started to explain, but Carter cut me off.

  “Damp…? Damp with what?”

  “Sweat, probably.”

  “Probably,” he scoffed. “Probably…” Walking away, he muttered it under his breath, then proceeded to bend over the trashcan and spit the mouthful of mashed cake from his mouth.

  “Don’t be such a wuss, Carter,” Tate chided. “It’s not like they weren’t in a wrapper.”

  “A wrapper that was stuck to his butt. I had to touch the wrapper to open it and take it out, and then I touched the cake with my contaminated hands. I need to rinse my mouth out,” he complained, rooting though the cabinets. “Where do you keep the glasses in this thing?”

  “Don’t use the water! It’s winterized!”

  “Shane! Shane! Gimmie your flask—I need something with a high alcohol content to kill the germs!”

  “Don’t have it.” Apprehensively, Shane’s eyes fell to the floor. He toed some nonexistent spot on the carpet with the tip of his boot.

  Carter, no doubt, found this enthralling. He honed in on Shane like a bird of prey, snack cakes forgotten. “Whatdoya mean you don’t have it? You never leave home without that thing.”

  “I quit.” Daring a glance, Shane grimaced at Carter’s look of fascination. He jaw flexed, teeth ground together.

  “You quit carrying it?”

  “I quit drinking.”

  Chapter 2

  Slowly, the bus struggled up the slope of the driveway, tires slipping in the snow. For a brief moment, I wasn’t sure if we would make it, but the driver knew his machine well. He handled it like a pro. As we ascended the peak and coasted through the gates of Tate’s mansion, everyone gave a small cheer.

  Cooper’s head bobbed side to side, looking out one window and then the next, taking in the sight of her new home. I think I might’ve been jealous. The place was amazing. With six bedrooms, five bathrooms, a state of the art kitchen, heated pool, home office, and private recording studio, what wasn’t to like?

  Ducking my own head, I peered out the window. “The Space Needle is practically in your backyard, Coop.” The Seattle Center, the Key Arena and the EMP museum were all within a few minutes’ drive. Jack, Diane, and I had taken Levy to the Children’s museum twice since their arrival. The place was great.

  At a loss for words, Coop looked at me, her eyes glittering with emotion. ‘I’m nervous.’ She glanced askance to see who might be listening.

  “What on earth for?”

  “I don’t know. I couldn’t wait to get home, but home has been Garrison’s place, and then the bus. But this place is huge. It makes me feel like…”

  “A princess?” I finished for her.

  ‘Stupid, huh?’

  “Not at all. Since I’ve gotten here, I’ve felt like a kid again, babysitting for the neighbors down the street, only I’m an adult.”

  ‘Seriously.’

  “This sucks. I don’t know if I can go back to small country life now that I’ve lived in the lap of luxury.”

  ‘You’re not going back to small country life.’

  “Coop,” I protested. “I can’t just pick up and move to Seattle on the spur of the moment.”

  ‘I did, under your advice.’

  “That was different.”

  ‘How?’

  “You had the promise of a music career.”

  ‘You’re going to be the nanny for Tate Watkins, singer, songwriter, and record producer. How will that look on your resume?’

  I made a noise of contempt in the back of my throat. “Easy for you to say. You had Tate Watkins fawning over you. You would’ve come regardless.”

  ‘This here,’ Coop said, quoting me, ‘is your second chance. It’s an opportunity of a lifetime. You will regret it forever if you let it pass you by.’

  “You’re just deflecting.” She was using my problems to alleviate her own unease. I’d give her a week to settle in. She’d realize she didn’t need me to hold her hand. Tate had the money to hire the best au pairs in the country.

  ‘And you’re a chicken shit. There is a man over there waiting to fawn over you at a moment’s notice. You’re just being too stubborn to take a chance.’

  “I don’t even know him!”

  ‘You’ve had more time to spend with him than I have with Tate.’ Sidling closer, Coop looked at me sternly, gestured in Shane’s direction with her eyes. ‘He quit drinking, Em. I’ve never seen him without a bottle or a roach. That’s gotta count for something.’

  “Men don’t change.”

  ‘Tate seems to think differently. He would know. He’s known Shane since high school. He said Marshall’s been training him and everything.’r />
  Marshall was training him. Every morning I watched them disappear into the gym, and every afternoon I watched them re-emerge, shirtless and sweat soaked. It was a glorious sight; all those tweaked muscles and pronounced veins.

  “He has. There’s a gym above the garage.”

  ‘Look at him, Em. He’s cut.’

  “He is filling out nicely,” I observed. I wasn’t admitting interest; it was general admiration of the male anatomy. “He’s starting to get an eight pack too.”

  ‘He’s quite the package.’

  “You’re married. Newly married, Coop. I don’t know if you should be checking out other men.”

  ‘You know that’s not what I meant. But now that you mention it…’

  “Coop!”

  ‘What? Those skinny jeans he wears do little to hide anything!’ Coop and I laughed, our heads bent together. ‘I don’t know about you, but the hair has to go.’

  “Agreed.”

  “Yo Richardson!” Carter shouted across the bus. His voice came from over my shoulder. I flinched over the proximity. How long had he been standing there listening? Long enough. He smirked as Shane looked up. “She said the hair has to go, man. She’s not digging it.”

  “Per amor di Dio!!” I hissed, mortified. “You are such an asshole, Carter! No wonder Coop kneed you in the balls!”

  “Language,” Carter reminded me. “The kid’ll hear you.”

  “Oh, stai zitto!” Red faced, I grabbed my coat and slid it over my arms. I was half-tempted to leave for the airport and go right home.

  “I don’t see what the big deal is,” Carter argued. “We’ve been telling him to cut his hair for years. Maybe now he’ll actually do it.”

  “Give me a break.”

  “What? It’s true!”

  “You don’t get it!” I growled, standing chest to chest. “I don’t care! The length of his hair is none of my damn concern, because I’m not interested! Now butt the hell out! What Shane and I do, or don’t do, is none of your business!”

  Turning on my heel, I found everyone staring. My face reddened a shade darker. With a huff, I stormed off the bus.

  Stepping down the stairs and into the snow, I tilted my head back and stole a breath of fresh air, willing my pulse to return to normal. “Way to go, Em,” I chided myself. “Make a scene. Publicly humiliate the guy. Act like a total bitch. Ruin Coop’s homecoming. You’re batting a thousand.”

  “It’s not as bad as all that,” Marshall dismissed, stepping off the bus. “So you were outed for checking out Shane. Big deal.”

  “I wasn’t checking him out.”

  “Whatever you say.” He chuckled softly, striding through the snow, Evan, Taylor and Derek on his heels. The three each grabbed a shovel from beside the door and began clearing a path. “I’m sure you’re not the first, and you won’t be the last.”

  Evan barked a laugh. “True that.”

  I scoffed and crossed my arms over my chest. “Then his ego should recover just fine.”

  “Shane doesn’t have an ego,” Derek advised. He glanced up from his work at hand. “He’s not like the others. Being in the spotlight makes him uneasy. If he’s putting himself out there, it’s with an extreme amount of courage on his part.”

  Well, if that didn’t make me feel like shit.

  “I hate this shit,” Jake swore, stepping off the bus. He panned the sky, which was gray and drab. “Why couldn’t we move down the coast somewhere warm?”

  “It’s Christmas!” I said, welcoming the diversion, “It’s supposed to snow.” I hadn’t seen Jake since we reached Seattle. He came by to welcome Cooper home.

  “It’s not Christmas yet.” Stepping to the side, he made room for Carter, who stepped off the bus and moved to my right.

  “How is your sister, Jake?” I asked, ignoring Carter’s stare. I hadn’t seen Jake’s younger sister, Mattie, since Missoula. The two hadn’t been on good terms when she left. I think Jake blamed her for instigating the fight that caused Cooper’s injuries. Despite what Jake thought, Amanda Keller had it out for Cooper, regardless of Mattie’s involvement. The woman had a case of sour grapes over Tate and Cooper’s marriage. “Is she coming home for the holiday?”

  “No.”

  “Still not talking to you?”

  “No,” he sighed, “she won’t take my calls. Her roommate said she was sick, but I know she’s pissed at me.”

  “Sick?” Carter inquired. “What’s wrong with her?”

  “She’s not sick; she’s avoiding me,” Jake replied, unconcerned. “Hey, maybe you could call her?” he asked me. Me? I barely knew her. Like it wouldn’t be obvious that he’d put me up to it. I wasn’t getting involved in their squabble.

  “Have you tried apologizing?”

  “Would I have asked you if I hadn’t exhausted every other possibility first?” he countered. “Short of driving the three hours there, I’ve tried everything.”

  “Maybe you should try driving the three hours there. You were pretty hard on her.” In fact, she had gotten Carter to drive her to the airport, if that was any indication of how angry she was. She hadn’t even said goodbye to him. “What happened wasn’t her fault, after all.”

  “I know that.” Dropping his head, he pushed a hand through his hair, shaking out the snow. “Fuck, I screwed up.”

  “So, you drive down there,” I said in dismissal. “Buy her a bouquet of flowers and some chicken soup. She’ll forgive you.” Reaching up, I straightened a lock of hair that was springing into the air, almost laughing at its persistence.

  Shane took that moment to join the group and frowned at the two of us. I promptly dropped my hand, stuffing it into my coat pocket.

  “I think I’m beyond flowers,” Jake admitted. “She might throw them back at me.”

  “You might not want to buy the chicken soup then,” I amended. “You could get scalded. Is she fond of animals?”

  “Animals?”

  “Get her a kitten. She won’t stand a chance.”

  “Would a kitten work on you?”

  “Oh, God no, I’m a dog person, but I’m not in college. With an iffy schedule like that, a cat is better. You can leave them alone for hours at a time.”

  “A kitten,” Jake said skeptically.

  “Low responsibility.”

  “Perfect.”

  “Why are all you morons standing out in this slop?” Nolan asked, stepping off the bus and onto the freshly shoveled path. Mrs. Watkins stepped down behind him, still in her lab coat.

  The two had an atypical relationship. Separated since Tate’s childhood, they had only rekindled after Coop’s hospitalization. As luck would have it, his mother specialized in Otolaryngology. She was the best, and Tate wanted only the best, so he had flown Coop back to Seattle for treatment. The rest is history. Coop had essentially brought them back together.

  “Because it’s pretty,” Carter answered. The smirk he usually wore wasn’t present. Actually, his countenance was downright brooding.

  “That’s good, Carter,” Mrs. Watkins said. “Then you won’t mind driving me back to the hospital. I’m still on shift.”

  “I’ll take you,” Jake offered. “I’m going that way anyhow.”

  “Oh? Where are you headed?”

  “Portland, to see Mattie.”

  “In this weather?” Mrs. Watkins protested. Nevertheless, they shuffled through the snow to Jake’s truck, arguing the timing of his travels.

  “I’ve got a call to make,” Carter muttered, stalking in the opposite direction and toward the house. God help anyone who might get in his way.

  Jack and Diane shuffled slowly inside, followed by Nolan, Levy, then Tate and Cooper. Tate stopped Coop before she could go through the door. He bent and slipped his arm behind the bend of her knees, and lifted her off the ground. Though she was on voice rest, I heard her gasp and then laugh. Tate looked at her in reproach. She promptly pressed her lips together, stifling her laughter.

  While Marshall hurried t
o open the door, Tate stole Coop’s mouth in a kiss that left me blushing. Her legs crossed at the ankles, toes pointed in delight.

  “Mamma mia.” I fanned my face, looking away. Marshall, Evan, Derek, and Taylor, on the other hand, hooted in applause. Jake rolled his window down and honked the horn of his truck, joining them. Shane put his fingers to his lips and whistled. A few seconds later, I heard Tate’s deep chuckle as he concluded their kiss. I turned just in time to watch him carry her over the threshold.

  “Watch her head, Boss,” Marshall teased. He opened the door wider and stepped back, giving them room as they passed through.

  “Once!” Tate protested, as he navigated Coop carefully through. “It happened once! The doorway was really small! I swear, I’ll never live that down!”

  Safely inside, Tate placed Coop back on her feet. She smiled widely and tugged his arm, demanding a tour of the house. Together, they vanished around the corner.

  A second later, Levy darted past, toddling after them, squealing. Nolan was a few steps behind, chasing him. “Levy! You leave your momma alone! Come have some chocolate ice cream!”

  “Chocowit?”

  Letting the door swing shut behind him, Marshall sealed off the sounds inside. Jake let out one last honk and coasted down the driveway. As the bus began to pull away, Shane placed his hand on the small of my back, ushering me away.

  “I’m sorry about that in there,” I said in apology. “I didn’t mean to sound harsh.”

  “S’okay. You gotta learn to ignore Carter. He can be an ass sometimes.”

  I snorted in objection. “Sometimes?”

  “Ok, most of the time.” The corners of his lips curled into a grin. I smiled in return, my gaze falling to the snow covering my toes.

  “That doesn’t mean I’m giving up.” When I looked back up, his smile was gone, replaced with determination. “You might like Jake, but he’s not the right one for you. Trust me on that. He’s got a unique taste in women.”

  “Jake?” I said, puzzled. “What makes you think I like Jake?”

  Withdrawing, I could practically see him close off mentally. He looked away into the distance, his jaw flexing.

  Ah, the unruly curl.