Give Me Hell

by Kate McCarthy

  “Hitchhiking?” he grinds out in a voice deeper than familiar. “Do you have a death wish?”

  “I … I … No,” I stutter, caught in shock as he reaches me.

  Had I wanted to find him so badly that I’m now hallucinating? I blink hard, but when I look again he’s still there. His chest rises and falls, and his pulse beats visibly in his neck. And those eyes. I know them. Stumbling across Jake along this road was sheer dumb luck. I can barely believe it. “I was—”

  “You were what?” he shouts.

  My eyes burn when I realise my mistake in coming here. In thinking it will be just how it was before. Jake is a stranger. His face has more angles and golden stubble lines his jaw. His frame is filled out. Shoulders rounded with muscle hulk over me, intimidating and overwhelming. Jake isn’t the sweet boy I remember, but a harsh, aggressive man.

  “I was looking for you,” I answer.

  Jake stares for an endless moment, his anger appearing to deflate. “Mac,” he mutters gruffly, his eyes roaming over my face. “You were looking for me?” His gaze shoots over my shoulder, searching as if he expects my brothers to appear from nowhere. “By yourself?”

  I open up my heart. “I missed you.”

  “Princess.” With that word Jake changes from a stranger to the boy I used to know. Joy washes over me. “Are you crazy?” he asks then shakes his head. “What am I saying? Of course you are.”

  “No crazier than you,” I retort.

  Jake’s eyes drop to my lips. “There’s that smart mouth I remember.” He crooks a finger. “Come closer.”

  I take a step forward and he grasps my jaw with his thumb and forefinger, tilting my head upwards. He turns my head slowly left and right for a thorough inspection. “Goddamn, Mac.” A broad grin stretches over his face. It steals the breath from my lungs. “You haven’t changed a bit.”

  Jake has. So much I barely recognise him anymore.

  He lets go of my chin and steps back, eyes dropping to my chest. “Well, maybe a little,” he adds. “That flat chest has grown some tits.”

  I fold my arms, which only serves to push them up higher. The tits are small and don’t appear to be growing any larger, but better some than none at all. “You like my tits?”

  Amusement flickers across Jake’s face and his eyes rise to mine. “I do.”

  “So do lots of boys,” I taunt. My anger over him leaving is irrational, but it doesn’t stop the flood from rising. Jake might have had no choice, but he didn’t fight to stay either.

  “You let them touch you?” His lips press into a thin line. “You know what?” Jake grabs my bicep in a rough grip and marches me toward his car. “We’re not doing this here on the side of the road.” I struggle to push Jake away, but his strength is ridiculous. He yanks open the passenger door and shoves me inside. With my body half sprawled across the seat like a sack of potatoes, he leans down and looks me in the eye. “If that venomous mouth of yours has shit to spew, it can wait until after I’ve had something to eat. No one should be forced to battle your anger on an empty stomach, Princess.”

  The door slams shut, and he disappears. I wind down the window and stick my head out, yelling, “Screw you, Boy Wonder!” as he walks around the back of the car.

  Jake opens the driver’s door and slides in, giving me a sideways smirk. “I’m hardly a boy anymore. You’ll have to come up with something better than that.”

  “Asshead,” I mutter.

  “Seriously?” He turns the key in the ignition and the car rumbles to life. “That’s the best you’ve got?”

  “Yes! I’m tired.” My stomach roars like a wounded bear. “And hungry.”

  “Well, let’s go eat.”

  After ten minutes of driving in tense silence, our windows down and hair whipping in the wild breeze, Jake turns onto a busy street teeming with people and cafes. A car pulls out ahead, and he whips in to the empty space, parallel parking like a boss. Slight resentment steals over me. I’m a shitty driver; there were fights in our household over who had to take me out for parking practice.

  Finding a table outdoors in the sunshine, we each order a big breakfast. I sit back in my seat when the waitress leaves, sunglasses jammed on my face as I stare across the table at Jake. “Over two years, Jake. So much for keeping in touch, huh?”

  “I know, but we both knew that wasn’t going to happen.” He rests his elbows on the table. “Me leaving was for the best.”

  Hurt swells in my chest. “Why?”

  Jake turns his head and stares across the busy road, his expression sombre. “Because I’m not good for you.”

  “Nice of you to make that decision for the both of us,” I snap.

  “It was the right decision, so tuck your little quills away, Mac. You’ve got a bright future ahead of you and a family who loves you.”

  “You do too. My family has your back. They always have.”

  Jake shrugs. He sits back in his seat and pulls a pack of cigarettes from his pocket. My jaw tightens as he taps one from the packet and puts it to his lips. After lighting it he draws in deep before exhaling a long plume of smoke. “They did have …” he acknowledges. “Once. But they don’t now. I’m not their problem anymore, Princess. It’s best just to leave me where I belong. In the past.”

  Jake brings the cigarette back to his lips. Rising in my seat, I reach across and snatch it from his fingers. His brows wing up. “Get over yourself,” I hiss and toss it out on the street, barely missing two pedestrians strolling by. I turn back to Jake with a hard glare as I sit back down. “If I’d known you were planning a pity party, I would’ve ordered cake.”

  His lips twitch and my nostrils flare.

  “You think this is funny, Mr, I’m No Good For You? You have the exact same future I do, Jake Romero. And if you want to throw it away because you think you’re not good enough, then feel free. Just don’t expect me to stick around and watch you do it.”

  I stand and collect my bag. The waitress chooses that moment to deliver two steaming plates piled high with bacon, eggs, sausage, toast, and beans. The delicious scent sets my nostrils quivering. My attempt at fighting my hunger is pathetic. I don’t do starving. It makes me irrational and lightheaded. I lose the battle and sink back in my seat, setting my bag on the ground by my chair. “Well it would be a shame to let this go to waste. I’ll eat first. Then I’m leaving.”

  “Mac?”

  I glance up, fork already in hand and poised over a rasher of bacon. Jake’s eyes are soft as he looks at me, and I know right then and there that I’m not going anywhere. His voice is a little hoarse when he speaks. “I missed you too.”

  JAKE

  The words leave my lips before I can halt their escape. Moron, I curse silently when pleasure lights Mac’s pretty face. She’s somehow managed to drop from the sky and into my lap. I can’t believe it, and I can’t deny how good it feels to have her with me again, but she can’t stay. It’s not safe for her. I’m not safe. “But yes, you’re still leaving,” I add.

  She shrugs and stabs at a slice of bacon with her fork.

  The nonchalance doesn’t fool me. “Alright?”

  I need to be sure. Say the words, Mac.

  “Of course. Leaving. If that’s what you want.”

  “Actually, what I want is to know how the hell you got here in the first place.” The very mention takes me back to finding her ambling along the road, blonde hair tangled and gleaming bright in the sun, the skirt of her dress swirling around those pretty tanned thighs. My temper riles. “And what the hell do you think you were doing hitchhiking?” I feel a rant coming on and try to pull back, but my anger is like a steam train with faulty brakes. “You were this close…” I growl, holding up my thumb and forefinger an inch apart for emphasis “…to being picked up by some serial killer and having all the skin peeled from your body. If I hadn’t—”

  “Jake, don’t be dramatic.”

  What in the actual fuck? My knuckles whiten around the knife and fork in my h
ands. I stab a piece of grilled mushroom and shove it in my mouth, chewing furiously.

  “It’s hardly Wolf Creek territory here in Melbourne’s outer suburbs,” she adds, snorting.

  Her cavalier comment makes me livid. I suck in a sharp breath and a piece of mushroom lodges in my throat. “Arrghh!”

  Mac stands and leans across the table. Her little fist thumps my back with surprising force. “…and besides,” she says, still chattering as she delivers her mighty wallops, “I can take care of myself.”

  The mushroom flies from my mouth and lands on the table. Mac ignores the offending object and calmly takes her seat. She picks up her fork and spears another rasher of bacon.

  I stare at her from across the table. “How can you be so smart and yet so mentally challenged all at the same time?”

  And so damn pretty it takes my breath away? Mackenzie Valentine is evolving into a great beauty, the kind so imposing it hurts if you stare for too long.

  Her brow furrows. “Why are you mad? If I’ve learnt one thing, it’s to never sit back and let life come your way. You have to get out there and fight for it. So that’s what I’m doing.”

  I can’t refute her assertion, but there’s a right way to go about fighting for it and then there’s a dumb way. Mac chose the latter. And now she’s here when she shouldn’t be, and I’m a selfish asshole because I don’t want her to leave.

  “Besides, each day is a gift,” she adds. “Special. We should live it accordingly, and … and …”

  A crack forms in Mac’s tough girl veneer. She looks away, not wanting me to see it, but it’s too late.

  “And?” I prompt.

  Her eyes drop to her feet as if she’s found something interesting in the pavement below. “And no day is special without you.”

  My heart flips over in my chest.

  I want this girl.

  I want her for me.

  A desperate ache thumps in my chest. I need to stop this now before I do something crazy, like grab hold of her and never let go.

  “If that’s what you think, then you have no concept of real life.”

  Mac winces. She finally shows me a piece of her heart, and I crush it.

  “You know, initially I thought you’d changed, but you haven’t.” Her gaze narrows on mine. “You’re still a moody bastard.”

  “And you haven’t changed a bit either. You’re still a spoiled, sheltered brat, Mackenzie Valentine. You have a family that shields you from life’s bullshit. They give you everything and like the wilful little girl you are, you take it with one hand and complain about it with the other.” I shake my head and reach for another cigarette as I stand. After lighting it, I exhale and force coldness to my eyes. “You haven’t grown up at all, Princess. You just made your way down to Melbourne expecting me to be the same and for us to go back to who we were. Well, we can’t because you’re wrong. I have changed and the world I live in isn’t one where you belong.”

  Mac puts her knife and fork down. They clatter on her plate as she stands, our little altercation drawing the eyes of those around us. “What a complete load of bullshit. I belong wherever the hell I choose, and I choose here, with you.”

  My eyes flatten. “Wrong choice.”

  Her gaze narrows in return. “I’m tired of people telling me what I can and can’t do, Romero. Don’t you start too.”

  “You can do whatever you want, Princess. Just not here with me.”

  “Fine. I’ll leave.” Mac shoulders her bag and walks away, leaving almost a full plate of breakfast behind. That’s when I know she’s seriously hurt, and I hate the very idea of it. Mac is strong. I want her to always be strong.

  I throw some cash on the table and chase after her. “Mac, wait!”

  She walks straight passed my parked car and keeps right on going.

  “Where do you think you’re going?”

  “Away from you!” she yells back without turning around.

  I follow at a light jog to catch up. “When I said you could do whatever you wanted, I meant go home.”

  “And when I said fine, I’ll leave, I meant go fuck yourself.”

  A shout of laughter escapes me. Mac is pure fire, and I love her. Even after all this time. I’m still hers.

  “Laugh it up, chuckles,” I hear her mutter as she motors down the street.

  What the hell, right? Life is meant for living. “Mac, stop.”

  She keeps walking ahead of me. “No.”

  “Stop!”

  “No.”

  “Remember when I said I belonged to you?” I call out. Pedestrians glance at me, but I don’t care. When she stops and turns around, others do too.

  Her green eyes soften, and I know she’s remembering. Our first kiss. First love. I want her to be my first everything.

  “I still do,” I say. There’s no denying that particular truth.

  “I know, Romero,” Mac says and starts back toward me. “Why else do you think I’m here?” Her chin lifts. “But there’s one thing you don’t know, and I never told you …”

  “And what’s that?”

  “I belong to you too.”

  “Can you hold up the towel?” It’s more a demand than a question as Mac jams the bright flowery towel at my chest. Later that afternoon we’re in the mostly deserted car park at the beach, both standing by the passenger door I just opened for Mac. We’d spent the day catching up on the two years that had passed between us, and before taking her back to my house we decided to go for a swim at the beach. Me because I need to cool off. Being around Mac again has me itching to do things I shouldn’t be doing. And her because she’s on a mission to live life to the fullest and make each day count.

  I take the towel and hold it up. “What are you doing?”

  She doesn’t answer. Instead, she turns, leans inside the car, and rummages around in her bag. Finding what she’s after, Mac backs out and faces me. “Not that way.” Mac huffs and grabs the towel. She rotates it sideways and hands it back. “That way.”

  Satisfied I’m holding it in just the right position, Mac takes a step back, picks up the hem of her dress and peels it over her head. It drops to the ground.

  Holy shit.

  I choke.

  She isn’t wearing a bra.

  “Mac!” I bark and come at her with the towel— but not before I take in every inch of naked skin and commit it to memory. I wrap it around her front, effectively straight-jacketing her with it and hugging her at the same time. “Don’t do that here where people can see you.”

  Amusement flashes across her face. “No one’s looking. There’s no one here.”

  “I am, Mac,” I say wryly. “By people, I mean me.”

  Her lips curve. “But you’re allowed to look. Don’t you want to?”

  “Yes.” There’s no hesitation in my response. “Hell yes,” I add, just so she knows how much.

  She grins. I duck my head and effectively kiss it right off her face. It’s a quick press of my mouth to hers, but it’s enough to draw a ragged moan from her lips when I pull back. It sends blood pumping so hard through my veins it hurts.

  “Is that all you’ve got?”

  Mac’s taunt has me leaning close, my lips a mere inch from hers. “You want more?”

  “Don’t you know me by now?” she breathes against mouth. “I want it all.”

  I kiss her again when I know I shouldn’t, but there’s no stopping myself. Her lips are on mine, and I feel it down to my toes. Heat and need surge together, a desperate war that has me pushing her back against my car. My tongue slides inside her mouth. Mac returns the touch and a groan climbs the back of my throat.

  Tomorrow, I vow. I’ll send her home tomorrow.

  Her hands slide around my neck, fingers tangling in my hair.

  “Now, Jake,” she pants, pulling back. Her lids are lowered and eyes glazed. “I want you now.”

  “Now?” Here? My mind scrambles. I search the parking lot. It’s mostly deserted. Why am I even contemplatin
g this? It’s crazy. We only just reunited this morning, after years, and even though it feels as if we’ve picked up right where we left off, it’s too soon for something like this. “No. We can’t.”

  Mac doesn’t listen. She opens the back passenger door instead. She climbs in and turns around dropping the towel. “We can.”

  I can hear her say something, but the words don’t register. My eyes are on her tits. They’re small and round, her pale nipples beckoning like pink cotton candy. My gaze lowers following the trail of smooth golden skin to the pair of red lace panties. Mac is only seventeen. Sexy underwear like that should be wrong, like a girl trying to be something she’s not, but on Mac they belong. They hug her skin like gift wrap waiting to be torn off.

  A whimper escapes me and my voice becomes weak. “You don’t play fair.”

  “I never have,” she says. “And I never will.”

  Mac leans forward. She takes my hands and pulls me onto the backseat of the car. I let go, bracing my palms on either side of the seat so I don’t fall right on top of her. “Not like this, Princess.”

  My voice is a rasp and her lips curve. She knows she has me. “Exactly like this.”

  “Would it be …” I trail off, the question in my eyes.

  “My first time? Yes,” she answers without hesitating.

  My heart threatens to beat right out of my chest. “Me too,” I answer. I’ve never been able to bring myself to look at another girl. How can I when I belong to this one?

  “Jake.”

  She speaks my name in a throaty whisper and it has me trembling. I lock my muscles tight, fighting against the instinctive urge to take what I want. “It should be special.”

  “This is special. Finding you like this was meant to be. We were meant to be, and I don’t want to wait. I don’t want any obstacles getting in our way … or doubts. I just want you, Jake, and you want me too.” Her fingertips trail down my straining biceps as I hold myself up off her. Shivers break out across my skin. “I can feel it, and see it.” Mac sounds so fanciful. Not like herself at all. And yet her words are catching hold. Like a brush fire, they’re sweeping me up and burning me to ash.