Scarred by Love

by C. A. Harms

  Just thought I’d let you know I took a test. It was negative, so you’re off the hook. I guess those pills I wasn’t taking somehow still magically worked.

  I didn’t even care what his response was. I threw the phone back onto my bed and walked out of my room. “Let’s go have some ice cream…I bought chocolate fudge.”

  “Oh, hell yeah!” Kate ran after me. .

  I could hear my phone ringing from the other room but I had no desire to answer it. I was upset about his accusations and I knew I would just say things I didn’t mean. I needed a timeout; we both did.

  After about ten minutes of continuous attempts to reach me, Zander called Kate’s phone next.

  “You do know that the guy isn’t gonna stop until he talks to you, right?”

  I looked over at her and rolled my eyes before pulling her phone from her hand. “Hello.”

  “Riley?”

  “Yep.”

  “Damn it…I’m sorry, okay? You surprised me…and it freaked me out. I don’t seriously think you would get pregnant on purpose. I just had no idea what to say and I fucked it all up…and I’m sorry.”

  “I know…I was freaked out too.”

  There was a long pause before he spoke. “I miss you. I miss your soft legs tangled with mine.”

  I smiled, “I miss you too but we need a time out.”

  “What do you mean a time out?” His voice sounded panicked.

  “For tonight, I think we just need a time out.”

  “Just tonight, right?”

  “Yeah Zander, just tonight.”

  I heard him take a deep breath and then he whispered, “I’m sorry Ry.”

  “I know, me too.”

  “Good night baby, I love you.”

  I swallowed past the burning sensation in my throat, “I love you…night.”

  When I handed Kate’s phone back to her she smiled. “See, now don’t you feel better?

  I laughed lightly, “Yeah…I do.”

  “Number one rule of relationships…never go to bed angry.”

  “Oh really and what makes you an expert now?”

  “Shut up bitch. I’m dating your brother and believe me if I didn’t follow that rule I would always be a cranky ass in the morning because not a day goes by that Carson and I don’t bicker.”

  I giggled, “So true.”

  Chapter Thirty-Six

  ~Zander~

  “What are you doing home? I thought you were staying at Riley’s last night.”

  I stood up from the couch as Beth entered. “I was going to but um…we had a change of plans.”

  “Uh oh…trouble with the princess again.”

  I turned around and glared at her. She held her hands out to her sides shrugging her shoulders. “What? You said no more comments when Riley was around. She’s not here so…I get to be snotty.”

  “No you don’t Beth. We just had a scare last night and decided to take the night off. That’s all. Things are fine.”

  “What do you mean a scare?”

  I tipped the jug of milk up to my mouth and immediately smiled remembering the night Riley threw her glass of milk in my face. I would never be able to look at a gallon of milk again without thinking of Riley. I took a long drink before lowering it back down and placing it back into the fridge. I walked back to the couch and sat down next to Beth.

  I let my elbows rest onto my knees and looked over at her. “We thought um…Riley might be pregnant.” Beth’s eyes got big and her lower lip dropped down. “She’s not, but I acted like a total jackass about it and she asked me to leave.” I looked back down at my hands. “We talked later and things are okay, I think we just needed a little break after the scare, you know.”

  Beth nodded her head, “I’m glad it was a false alarm Zander.” I felt her hand rest on my back and lightly rub up and down. “That would’ve sucked for you.”

  I wrinkled up my eyebrows, “The timing would’ve been bad Beth, but I love Riley. So if she was pregnant that wouldn’t have been the reason I stayed with her. I’m in this fully with her either way.”

  “I just think that you might be rushing things with her. Maybe you guys should take a break and spend some time apart. It might be good for you.”

  I looked at her like she had just lost her mind. “Beth, I can’t seem to figure out what the hell your problem is anymore. You liked Riley in the beginning and then it all changed. What the fuck happened?”

  “It’s not that I don’t like her Zander. I just don’t think she’s right for you. I mean, I really thought she was just a girl you had a little crush on. Maybe you needed to get it out of your system or something.”

  I was about to respond to what Beth had said but my phone started to ring. I grabbed for it quickly and answered, “Yeah.”

  “Um hey…did I catch you at a bad time?”

  Riley’s sweet voice filled my ear. I looked over at Beth as she watched me closely. “No gorgeous, it’s not a bad time. What are you doing? Don’t you have class this morning?”

  “Yeah um at ten, I just missed you last night. I made cinnamon rolls for breakfast and I didn’t know if maybe you wanted to come over and have one with me.”

  “Oh, I only get one?

  She lightly laughed, “No I’ll eat one and you can have the rest.”

  I had forgotten Beth was even sitting next to me. “Can I have milk too?”

  “Depends do you want it in a cup or on your face? We both know that when milk gets thrown in your face it leads to a shower, and then…other things. I can’t be late for class, there’s a guest speaker today.”

  I grinned, “Okay, a cup then…I guess.” When she giggled I knew last night’s events were behind us. “I’ll be there in fifteen.”

  “Okay, be careful.”

  “Always…I love you.”

  “Love you too.”

  Once I hung up I looked over to Beth and she was staring at me. “She’s not a fling, not something I need to get out of my system, Beth. I love the hell outta Riley and nothing is gonna change that.”

  I stood from the couch and grabbed for my keys and helmet. Just before I walked out I turned one last time to look at Beth. “Have I ever not supported you? Have I ever fought against something you wanted? I expected more from my best friend.”

  I didn’t wait to hear what she had to say I just walked out.

  ***

  When I got to Riley’s I pushed all thoughts of Beth out of my mind.

  Riley opened the door and came forward to wrap her arms around my neck tightly. I stumbled forward and squeezed her close, “Well hello.”

  “Sorry, I just needed to hug you. I was a bitch last night and I’m sorry. I know you’ve been practicing for the show and that’s why you’ve been so busy. I was just stressed about taking the test and I flipped out.”

  I leaned back and kissed her forehead, “Don’t worry about it, I think we both went a little overboard last night. I’ll forgive you only if you forgive me.”

  “Done.”

  I gave her a slow, gentle kiss and placed my forehead against hers, “Okay, now where are those cinnamon rolls?’

  After breakfast with Riley, two classes and two hours at Bartlet’s I had finally made it home. I was still pissed at Beth and really had nothing to say to her right now. When I walked into the garage to rehearse I didn’t even make eye contact with her. We practiced for about two hours and at seven o’clock I called it. “Okay, I think that’s enough for tonight. We can meet at the grounds at about five to get ready tomorrow night. It sounds good guys.”

  I told the guys bye and went out to climb on my bike. I already had an overnight bag ready and waiting. Riley wouldn’t be expecting me this early and I wanted to surprise her. After last night I thought we needed a good night.

  Kate let me in and Carson hollered from the couch as I passed. “Hey Z…what’s up?”

  “Not much man. You still going tomorrow night?”

  “Hell yeah, we’ll be there.”

>   I snuck into Riley’s room and heard her in the shower. She had the radio on low and I could hear her singing with the music. I smiled at how cute she sounded. The girl couldn’t carry a tune for the life of her but it only made me love her more.

  I quickly pulled my shirt over my head and lowered my jeans. Slipping out of my boxers and socks I quietly pulled the shower curtain aside and got into the shower behind her. I took a step toward her and wrapped my arms around her. She screamed and I laughed.

  “Damn it Zander you scared the hell out of me.” She smacked my arm. “I wasn’t expecting you this early.”

  “Are you disappointed?”

  She rose up onto her tiptoes and threw her arms around my neck. “Definitely not disappointed, just surprised.”

  After we finished with our shower we went out into the living room to join Kate and Carson. We spent the rest of our night playing poker and laughing at the bickering between Kate and Carson. They seriously fought like a couple that had been married for forty years. It was the funniest thing I had witnessed in a long time.

  Carson kept embarrassing Kate and she was pissed when he didn’t stop.

  “Honestly Z, does Ry fart in front of you?”

  I choked on my beer and felt my nose burn from the liquid. “Shit dude,” I laughed, “well yes and no.” Riley spun around in her chair and stared at me. Her cheeks were red and she looked horrified.

  “What do you mean yes and no?” She looked embarrassed.

  “Well you don’t willing fart but you have in your sleep.”

  She buried her head into her hands, “Oh my god! You’re not allowed to spend the night anymore. That is so embarrassing.”

  I laughed along with Kate. Carson continued pulling the attention away from Riley. “Okay, well Kate doesn’t hide it. She farts asleep or awake. Do you know how hard it is to stay turned on when you and your girl are hot and heavy and she jumps up excusing herself…to fart?”

  “Carson!”

  It was Riley’s turn to laugh.

  “Then she gets pissed at me when I can’t get back into it.”

  “Shut up Asshole!”

  “Oh what babe…normally you don’t care.”

  She just rolled her eyes and got up from the table. Carson pushed back from the table, “I guess I better go do some damage control.” He rolled his eyes and went toward the kitchen to make up with Kate.

  I scooted my chair closer to Riley and she turned away from me covering her face. “Hey, why are you hiding your face?”

  “I can’t look at you right now. I’m so embarrassed. Now I won’t want to fall asleep around you.”

  I laughed, “Baby…I think it’s cute.”

  “Whatever Zander.”

  She stood up and I pulled her into my lap. I pulled her lips down to meet mine. “I think your fuckin’ hot no matter what Ry. Stop freaking out about something so small. It was just once and you have slept with me next to you at least thirty times. Once out of thirty times, I say that it’s a pretty rare occasion.” She laughed and stood up.

  “Fine but I’m buying you ear plugs.”

  I chuckled as she walked into the kitchen to get another beer from the fridge. I heard her yelling at Carson and Kate. “Nasty guys, go to your bedroom.”

  Carson laughed and Kate giggled, I guess they made up.

  Chapter Thirty-Seven

  ~Riley~

  “Come on are you ready yet? We’re gonna be late.” Kate was beginning to drive me insane. Zander went on at seven and I really wanted to see him before his show.

  “Five minutes…I promise.”

  Carson and everyone else were meeting us there and Kate got home late which means we were running behind. Since spring break was starting she got hung up finishing some last minute thing for her professor.

  “Hurry, I want to see him before he goes on.”

  “Okay…okay, I’m done let’s go.”

  Zander got there around five to check everything out and to meet the band. I could tell he was excited about the show. He had so much nervous energy flowing through him.

  When we pulled up and I saw the amount of people that were already there I was shocked. The cars were lined row after row and traffic was being directed by men in bright orange shirts.

  After we found a parking space we texted Carson and met him in the decided spot.

  “Hey sis, have you seen Z yet? He was just over here talking to us a few minutes ago.”

  I spun around to look for him; he couldn’t have gone far if he was just talking to Carson.

  Once I found him my stomach flipped and twisted. He made my mouth water every time. He wore dark denim jeans that were all torn and frayed with black Chuck Taylors. He had on a red and black snug shirt that made every rippling muscle beneath it pop. His hair had a messy wild look and I felt a rush of heat take over when our eyes connected.

  He said something to Mark and then walked in my direction. I bit my lower lip just before he reached me. He didn’t wait for words; he took my face in his hands and lowered his lips to mine. We stood in the middle of hundreds of people but felt as if we were completely alone. I griped his t-shirt tightly at his waist. Zander moaned against my mouth and massaged my tongue with his.

  “Damn baby, I missed you today.”

  His forehead rested against mine and we were both restless.

  “I missed you too hottie. Look at you all rocked out and drawing every girl’s attention.”

  He brushed my lower lip with his thumb, “There’s only one woman’s attention I care about, yours Ry. Just you…and you look pretty fine yourself.” He slid his hand over my ass and squeezed gently, pulling me closer.

  “Okay dude stop groping my sister in a crowd of people.” We both turned to find Max, Bree and Tanner joining the group. He reached out and slapped Zander’s shoulder and squeezed before smiling.

  “You ready for your show?” Tanner asked while shaking Zander’s hand.

  “Hell yeah, I’m ready. I better get back to the band.” He laced his fingers with mine, “I’m gonna borrow Riley for a quick second.”

  I looked up at him and he smiled. He pulled me behind him toward the stage. Once we were around the corner he backed me up against the side and brought his mouth close to mine. The cocky grin spread across his face had my thighs squeezing together. My stomach began flipping once again and I felt overheated.

  “I need to make out like a high schooler for a few minutes with the hottest chic here. What do you say wanna play tonsil hockey with the lead vocalist of a pretty awesome band?” I laughed and he smiled.

  “Really baby, I just wanted to kiss you, away from your brothers. I want you to know just how hard it’s gonna be to leave your hot little ass in the crowd with all those guys.”

  “I’m with three of my brothers and I’m pretty sure I’ll be safe until you join me. And you can kiss me all you want, I won’t stop you.”

  Within seconds he had his body pressed hard against mine and our tongues were exploring one another as if we were starving. He ran his tongue down the side of my neck and kissed along the way. His hand gripped my breast and lightly squeezed. “I can’t help it Riley, you turn me on so fuckin’ much.” He whispered against my ear.

  “Zander dude we need to get ready to go on.” The sound of Cody’s voice pulled us out of our lustful state. Cody was grinning from ear to ear. “Unless you’re gonna sing with your tongue down Ry’s throat I think you should probably wrap it up.”

  “I’m on my way man.”

  I took a step forward and kissed Zander softly, “Go play. We can pick this up later.”

  I walked back to the group and waited for Zander to make his way to the stage.

  The moment I heard his voice flow over the crowd I got chills. He had this smoothness that was so damn sexy. I had the pleasure of hearing that same voice whispering in my ear. Every time I heard him sing I thought about everything intimate we have shared and my knees got weak. There was absolutely no way not to get compl
etely turned on from his voice. It overtook me and I melted into a puddle of need.

  People were screaming and bouncing around. It was great to watch Zander. He looked carefree and happy. He was so relaxed.

  I did notice that he kept his back to Beth which was strange. He worked his way around the stage but avoided her area.

  Kate, Bree and I had worked our way closer to the stage and we were dancing as we watched. Bree smiled at me and I wrinkled my eyebrows, “What?”

  She laughed, “The attraction between you two is so thick. He has a crowd full of half-naked girls and he only cares about you it’s just so obvious. I’m jealous.”

  I smiled and looked up at Zander. Sure enough he was looking at me and winked before raising his hand in the air when he sang out the main verse of the song.

  Some girls next to us screamed out something about his hot ass and all I could do was smile. They weren’t saying anything I didn’t agree with.

  At one point I looked over toward Beth and smiled lightly. She rolled her eyes at me and quickly looked away. I made up my mind at that moment. I was going to ask her what the hell her problem was. I was sick of her making me feel like I was horrible for Zander.

  After about three songs we made our way back to the guys and got a drink. By now the group had grown in size and there were a lot of people I didn’t know. I turned around leaning against a picnic table and drank my beer while watching the band. After a while I had to pee and convinced Bree to go with me since Kate was connected to Carson.

  On our way back we made a stop at the beer tent to get another. Bree bumped in to a couple of girls from work and they were deep in conversation.

  I smelt him before I saw him and I instantly felt sick.

  “Hey Riley. How are you?”

  I slowly turned and was face to chest with Parker. He looked the same and held that familiar cocky arrogance I once found attractive. Today I just found it disgusting. I turned back around and told the lady what I wanted. When I went to hand her money, Parker reached over my shoulder and gave her a twenty.

  “Um, no thank you.” I gave the lady my own money as she watched us in confusion. “I’ll pay for my own.”