Pretend Princess With Benefits: A Royal Fake Marriage Romance

by Lara Swann

  “It’s not her fault, dammit!” I interrupt, fiercely enough that they actually stop to listen for once. “So you can quit talking about her like that. She doesn’t know anything about our culture - she had no idea what our customs are, or what a Court Dinner involves, or how to approach the members of our court. She didn’t know. I never told her any of that, and she tried to work it out. Which is more than I’ve ever done. Even after traveling for twenty-four hours, she showed up and made every effort. So if you’re looking for someone to blame, this is all on me, father. I never told her anything about Aldora. It wasn’t disrespect, it was ignorance. And it was my fault. Not hers.”

  They’re standing looking at me, and I think it’s the closest I’ve ever seen them come to shock. I’m breathing heavily and I know what they’re thinking of my outburst, but I can’t bring myself to care. They were always going to blame me anyway, but at least now maybe they’ll understand a little more about what Hanna was going through, and it’ll just be me.

  To my surprise, it’s my mother that breaks the silence, not my father.

  She looks at me as if I don’t make any sense to her at all. “Why didn’t you tell her anything, son?”

  I can hear the disappointment in her voice, and it stings enough that my frustration - about everything - comes boiling over before I can hold it back. I’m not even sure I want to hold it back.

  “Because it’s all shit. Because I’m ashamed of our customs, and our people’s attitudes, and I didn’t want to scare her off by telling her that she would be walking into a group of uptight, judgmental bastards who would do their very best to disapprove of her just because she’s American. The presentation of a Princesca-attenciano is a ridiculous, antiquated idea, and I’ve never agreed with it. I couldn’t bring myself to tell her that, and I regret ever asking her to face it.”

  I realize suddenly that everything I’m saying is true. I shouldn’t have asked her to deal with that. I didn’t think it would be quite so bad - hell, until my father mentioned it, I hadn’t thought the court were uptight enough to have a problem with how she was at the beginning of the night, but even so…

  She didn’t deserve this shit.

  But I can’t say I regret that she’s here now, or the time that we’ve had together in those brief moments alone - watching her sleep on me in the train, her expression as she saw the castle and the endless questions and curiosity today…and that kiss. I definitely don’t regret that kiss.

  No one says anything for a long moment, and I can feel the stony silence that meets my outburst like it’s a thick, heavy thing in the room. They know all this already - it’s not the first time I’ve said this sort of thing. But I doubt they’re ever going to appreciate me giving my opinion.

  Eventually, my father - stoic and condemning as ever - finally breaks the silence.

  “I think we all regret that, son.” His eyes are hard as he looks at me, ignoring just about everything I’ve said. Not that I expected any better - we’ve exhausted everything we have to say on the topic - but the lack of acknowledgment stings. “But we don’t have a choice anymore - we have to finish it.”

  “We do?” I pause, suddenly confused. I wasn’t expecting that. “What about the rejections?”

  He shrugs, just a tiny lift of one shoulder. “There have only been two. Tradition states that we wait until the majority have cast their vote, one way or another. Even if all of us reject her now, it still falls short of that majority. So until we get that, we continue the presentation. All of which you should already know.”

  After all that…they’re still going ahead. I almost feel worse about it, that Hanna will have to go through the second court presentation with all of this hanging over her. At least that won’t be for a while now - she’ll have a couple of weeks to relax.

  “So you need to prepare her for the Ball.” Nicolas adds. “If you haven’t told her anything before now - as you said, anything else is unfair to everyone. You’ve got time. Teach her what she needs to know, Derek.”

  His voice is as calm and even as everyone else’s has been, and as simply as that, some of the fire goes out of me. It doesn’t matter what I do, it’s impossible to provoke them these days - and it’s hard to rage against blank disinterest.

  And he’s right about that - though he doesn’t know that Hanna is already planning to learn, with or without me. I get another burst of appreciation that she actually really does care - she wants to make it work, more than I even do. But then, it doesn’t surprise me that she’s a better person than me.

  “Granna is going to teach her.” I mention instead, and I get a petty satisfaction from the obvious ripple that sends through the group. “She offered.”

  “She did?” My mother asks, eyebrows rising. “Why?”

  I shrug. “I don’t know - it was between them. Maybe she thinks Hanna is worth it.”

  And giving ehr a chance is a damn sight more than any of you have done.

  I don’t add that thought on the end, despite how tempted I am.

  I came here looking to appease my father and mother so that I could go back to America after this long summer is over…now, I don’t know if there’s even still a chance of it and this is decidedly not the right time to bring it up. I’m not even sure whether it’s as important as taking care of Hanna for the rest of the trip that I dragged her into - but there’s no point deliberately provoking them any more than I tend to do accidentally all the time.

  I catch them glancing between themselves at that news, but I don’t say anything else. There’s nothing more to add.

  I’m about to ask whether that’s all, thinking of trying to find Hanna again, when my father picks up a stack of papers from the table and walks over towards me.

  “I don’t think there’s anything else to say about this…situation. I’ll keep you updated about any more responses we receive from the Court, but I think most are willing to wait until the official time to respond.” His eyes tighten slightly, no doubt at the idea of the two members of court outrageous enough to present official rejections before the allotted time. I feel slightly amused about that, even though I resent the action itself.

  As he reaches me, he hands me the papers and gestures towards them. “But now that you’re home, you can continue with the royal duties you have neglected throughout your foreign education. That’s a schedule of your activities and movements over the next few days, and everything that needs addressing. If you have any questions, I’m sure Nicolas can answer them - a lot of this is to support him. Maybe, after you spend a little time back home, as a Prince of Aldora, some of the…issues…we’ve had so far will resolve themselves.”

  I ignore the dig - of course that’s why they’re jumping on filling my days with royal duties - and glance down at the paper in my hands, biting back a groan as I scan it.

  From that quick look, it seems like almost every hour is accounted for - with the typical long days of tedious bureaucracy that being home has always meant. I was hoping they wouldn’t get around to drawing this up for a while longer, yet - last summer I had a whole week before anyone started wondering what the hell I was doing with myself.

  I have a brief desire to object, or refuse, or at least try to negotiate the timing of some of this - but I remind myself, yet again, that I’m trying to show them that I care about all this now. That I want to live up to my royal duties and responsibilities. And with everything else that’s happened…I doubt anyone is very interested in listening to my opinion right now.

  So instead I just nod, even as I feel those blissful moments with Hanna slip further and further away from me.

  Chapter Eleven

  Hanna

  I stay on the ramparts for a while, looking over the spectacular view below as my mind drifts over what just happened between Derek and I.

  The press of his body against mine, pushing me back against the rough stone and making me arch against him as our mouths and breath tangled. Caught by that hard, muscular body and his r
ough hand in my hair, my body already aching with the glint in his eyes and the pure desire there. The spark that had finally caught fire between us, that undefinable thing that had been there during that train journey…and afterward…and then at dinner…even though I was too tired to be able to process it at all.

  You’re not too tired now.

  No, I’m not tired at all. With my body still buzzing with adrenaline, that’s the last thing I feel.

  And, as ill-timed as that interruption was…it does mean that I have some time to work this out. To make a decision about it, before anything else happens. I told myself to be cautious, to think it through carefully…I guess I have his parents to thank for actually giving me the time to do it.

  That’s what I’m thinking about as I eventually leave the ramparts, and the rush of sea air, behind me. The faint thrum of arousal doesn’t leave quite as easily but as I make my way back through the castle, my thoughts at least don’t drift to that cocky smirk, or hot-sparkling gaze, or the bulge of his…forearms…against me quite as much as they were while I was staring into space and imagining what would have happened if we hadn’t been interrupted.

  If his hands had wandered lower, had slipped up under my light tank top or slid beneath my shorts…or if mine had started working his belt…if he’d thrown me back against the wall and just taken me the way I’d been longing for—

  Yeah, no drifting thoughts at all, Hanna.

  I have to stop a few times to ask for directions, usually from people in a similar uniform to the one that came to talk to Derek. I’m not sure who they are or what they do exactly, but they seem to be stood around the castle at convenient points, and they all know where Derek’s Granna - Adele - is likely to be. Which, in a place like this, you kind of need.

  I’m not entirely comfortable with the way they jump to help me as soon as I stop to approach them, or the deference they’re all treating me with, but I try my best to get over my squeamishness with the whole thing. I’ve never had so much attention paid to me in all my life, as I have since I arrived in Aldora.

  Eventually I make it to the wing of the castle that is apparently all Adele’s - yes, she’s got her own wing - and as I find out from the guard outside the set of rooms where I can find her, I try to swallow down my nerves.

  She asked to see me. It’s okay to be here. This should be fine.

  When I get to the entrance to the main sitting room, the door is open and I can see her sitting inside - but I knock anyway. I remember with a flush of embarrassment barging into her room yesterday, and I’ve been hearing her comments about my manners in my mind all day too.

  “Come.” She says it without looking up, and I step inside.

  “Hey,” I start, then immediately question the casual greeting. I have no idea what she’s expecting. “You mentioned last night that I could come and see you today - is now a good time?”

  She flicks her eyes over me, in the same way as I remember from last night, before gesturing to the chair opposite. I take a seat obediently, perching on the edge and watching as she marks a page in the book she’s reading and looks up.

  “Are you feeling more recovered from your journey this afternoon?” She asks.

  It suddenly occurs to me that she’s the first person I’ve met here who has even acknowledged my long journey.

  “Yes, thank you.” I nod and smile. “I slept very well. And I wanted to apologize about walking into your room last night—”

  “Don’t.” She says, her voice stern but her eyes calm and considering as they have been since I first saw her. “No apologies. Just do better.”

  I swallow, and nod again. “Yes, of course, well I’m going to try to—”

  “And you want my help?”

  She rings a bell as she speaks, and I wait until a woman comes in and she asks for tea before I answer.

  “If you don’t mind - I really would like to learn more about Aldoran culture, and what I was doing wrong last night. I have a feeling I offended some of the court—”

  “You did.” She agrees.

  I pause again. Despite being in a foreign country, sitting opposite a woman who was once the Queen and hearing about all the ways I’ve gone wrong…this exchange is actually starting to relax me. While I might not have known anyone with quite the same degree of natural authority, I’m used to this kind of blunt attitude - and to some extent, it’s a relief that she is cutting straight to the point.

  It certainly feels a lot better than wondering what everyone is thinking and not knowing. And with her, I feel I can actually ask.

  “Would you mind telling me what I did to offend them?”

  She gives a slight nod, and although I might be reading it completely wrong, I get a brief impression of approval. Which is the first I’ve had from anyone here.

  The tea arrives a moment later, and as it’s poured for us and she dismisses the woman who brought it, she starts telling me about Aldora - the country, the society and the expectations.

  Some of it I’ve already noticed - how reserved and unexpressive everyone is - but in my tired state, I hadn’t drawn the obvious conclusions. Particularly that they wouldn’t want me to be as loud or expressive as I was - apparently smiling and laughing is a thing reserved for private, if at all. Which, if you ask me, sounds awful, but…it’s their country. And I’m supposed to be their Princesca at the moment, so…I can try to respect that.

  She continues, talking both about Aldora in general and what it means to be a Princesca-attenciano - she tells me about the next court presentation and how to properly greet people and the topics of conversation that are safe and expected.

  I stay for far longer than I expected to, and as the tea goes cold and she asks for another pot, I wish that I’d thought to bring a paper and pen or something. I worry slightly that I’m not going to remember all this - or not enough, anyway - but to my surprise, it sticks quite easily.

  It’s fascinating hearing about how their society works, and I start to see why Carly has always been so interested in this sort of thing. I’ve always found it dry on paper…but when I’m here and it’s real and I’m part of it all it’s completely different. I might not agree with or appreciate all the rules and customs that she talks about, but I love the puzzle of listening to what she’s saying and then reflecting on the experiences I’ve had so far, and what it all means.

  “Have you learned any Aldoran?” She asks with no warning, after explaining to me that it’s typical to have watered wine here, which explains why there was no water on the table last night. If I’d started drinking that instead of the champagne, I would have been a lot better off.

  I blink at the sudden change of topic, but I’m starting to get used to it. I almost laugh and ask ‘when?!’. This is my second day here. But then I remember that Derek and I have presumably been dating for a while, and he probably would have shared with me at least a few words.

  I feel my cheeks heat a little as I shake my head.

  Is there anything I’ve done well here?

  Her lips purse together, and I can see her eyes flick up as she thinks for a moment.

  “I will teach you.”

  “Oh, you don’t have to do that—” I say immediately, surprised. Learning a language takes a lot of time, and she’s already spent so long explaining things to me - but she cuts me off before I can finish the exclamation with a click of her tongue, reminding me that she’s not going to offer something she doesn’t want to happen.

  “It will help you understand - and I have time these days. When you are ready to move beyond the basics, I will find someone else to help.” She says, then pauses as she sees the way I’m looking at her.

  I can’t understand why she’s going so far out of her way for me, and being so helpful, with the impression she’s had of me so far. She seems to read exactly that on my expression - hell, maybe she does, compared to Aldorans I’m sure I’m an open book.

  “My grandson has never before thought anyone was suitable to be
his Princesca-attenciano. I want to see why you are different.” Her gaze pierces into mine, unwavering, but I see her mouth soften just a little as she adds. “And I was a Princesca-attenciano once myself, you know. I remember what it is like, trying to understand. And you are trying. That is all I need.”

  “But—” I start before I think better of it, then force myself to continue. “You’re Aldoran.”

  Now the corners of her mouth really do turn up, just a little. “Yes - but I come from a small village in the mountains. It is very different there, and when I came to Salda I knew nothing of the court here.”

  I look at her in surprise, the regal bearing and complete authority that surrounds her so obvious that the last thing I could ever see her as is a remote village girl. And my admiration increases even further as I think about it, about what she has accomplished - not just being accepted as Princesca-attenciano, but becoming…this.

  In the same moment, I feel another stab of guilt at lying to her. I haven’t cared about this act in front of the rest of the court - so impersonal and severe. But Adele is really trying to help me. And me? I’m lying through my teeth. I hope she won’t be too hurt when it turns out I fail at this Princesca thing altogether.

  “And my Prince was not good at explaining, either, like yours.” She adds, in a softer, fond voice I haven’t heard from her yet. “He was a bear of a man, utterly impressive and totally dominating, and he had a sweeter heart than he liked people to know. But…there were some things that never made sense to him. Explaining was one.”

  I smile as I hear it, then remember everything she’s just told me and try to school my face back into seriousness - apparently, if everything she’s said is true, she’ll read the smile anyway. Aldoran’s are apt at reading facial expressions. But it’s nice to see, and reminds me of some of the women I work with back in Boston - it’s the one thing I haven’t seen from her so far, that fondness for thinking of the past.