Pretend Princess With Benefits: A Royal Fake Marriage Romance

by Lara Swann

  It also takes about that amount of time to find the section in English. There are far more books in Aldoran, but the English section is a lot bigger than I expected. I guess that’s probably left over from the colonial period, and I’m immediately grateful. I might be able to greet people in Aldoran without accidentally saying something like ‘baboon’s ass’ now, but I haven’t even touched written Aldoran, and nothing I want to read would be beginner level.

  In the days after I discover the library, I never fail to end up back there for a few hours, at least. I’m not sure whether I’m allowed to take the books out of it, so I only read them while I’m there, and it’s impossible not to be drawn into the accounts of Aldora’s history, the colonial period, the independence and re-establishment of the monarchy.

  At one point, I look up to see Nicolas standing watching me, one eyebrow raised. I almost jump out of my skin, and then get the immediate fear that I’m doing something wrong, or that I’ve been caught somewhere I shouldn’t be. Even though Simeon was the one that led me here, and he never said anything about it being out-of-bounds. Then again, Simeon also had no problem with the idea of showing me where Derek is so I could interrupt an important state meeting.

  “You’ve been in here every day, reading these books.” Nicolas says in his usual bland way, and I wonder how long he’s been watching me for. “Maybe my father was right, and you are an American spy.”

  My eyes widen, even though his expression doesn’t change and he doesn’t look like he’s about to haul me off to the dungeons on some criminal charge. I swallow, but after a few moments, I wonder whether this might be his idea of a joke. I’m getting a little better at reading these unreadable expressions everyone here wears now, and it has that kind of dry humor to it—wait.

  “The King thinks I’m a spy?” I ask, dumbfounded.

  He looks me over.

  “Well, I don’t think he actually does. He was just angry with Derek. But apparently you did tell him all about your fascination with Aldoran history, and how you wanted to learn all about our country - something no outsider has been permitted since the British withdrew.” He gestures to the books set out on the table in front of me. “And here you are, learning all that.”

  I glance at them, then remember my bumbling apology and close my eyes for a moment.

  “I didn’t mean it like that, what I said to him.” I say, though on second thought it should be totally obvious that I didn’t mean I wanted to spy on them. “Am I not supposed to be in here? I’m sorry—”

  He shrugs. “You can be in here. Our state secrets are kept in better places than this.”

  I’m unsure yet again whether he’s being serious or not. It’s as hard to tell with his straight-laced expression as it is to tell with Derek’s constant grin. Maybe they are brothers after all.

  “Okay. Well, thank you.” I say, slightly haltingly.

  I kind of wish he’d go away and find someone else to intimidate. I was just reading about Aldora’s struggles to maintain the modern developments that have become commonplace in most other countries, with limited financial resources and unpredictable weather patterns - things like electricity, heating, fuel or the sort of telephone and internet connectivity most places take for granted now. Apparently there are storms that interfere with the haphazard cabling on a relatively frequent basis. And that’s not to mention how difficult it is reaching the more remote, mountainous parts of Aldora—

  “What did you want to know?” Nicolas asks, still there. “It might be quicker just to ask, than to look in all these books.”

  I look up at him again. “I’m just curious about your history. I study European History, and I’d never really heard of Aldora, so I wanted to know how it fits in with all the history I know.”

  I glance at the books on the table, which cover everything from medieval times to the effects of colonialism to efficient structures for royal households.

  “And then that might have raised some questions, so I got some other books, too.”

  He looks at me, and I have absolutely no idea what he thinks about any of that.

  “I see. Then I will let you read.”

  Thank god for that.

  He pauses just before leaving, looking at me again, and I’m struck by how little he looks like Derek. Still well-built, with the same distinctive southern European look…but it’s just completely different without that cocky grin behind it. “If you have any questions, do ask. It is better that you understand Aldora.”

  Then he’s gone before I can say anything, and I’m left wondering if that’s a slight comment on what he’s seen of me so far - mostly, at that disastrous Court Dinner. I wonder if I’m ever going to be able to live it down. Then I remember that in a few short weeks it will be irrelevant anyway, and shrug it off.

  I will ask, I think at his retreating back, but not you.

  I end up returning to my reading, and though I see him occasionally at the library after that, we don’t talk again. Strange guy. I guess maybe being the heir to a country does that to you.

  That’s the only encounter I have with any of the court though - apart from Adele. I guess most of them have left, and I haven’t seen any of the rest of the royal family since.

  Not even Derek.

  Not that I’m thinking about that. Not at all.

  I get to know the castle a lot better and make a few visits into the town that’s sitting inside these walls. It’s stunning, as I expected, and Simeon finds me a guide who I can ask a million questions to. He doesn’t really know the answer to half of them, but he does tell me a lot of fascinating things and show me all the best places, and anyway - the rest is what the library is for, right?

  I’m finally finding my way around by myself, too, which is infinitely helpful when I still find it awkward talking to any of the pages dotted around the place. I manage to befriend Simeon, though, which I consider an achievement in itself - especially since the guy would barely talk to me except to answer questions in the beginning.

  I found out that being a page isn’t his life, either, which…I was kind of glad about. He’s also training with the stewards, who look after various elements of running a castle, and then I start thinking that running a castle sounds pretty cool, actually. I might feel a little uneasy at the idea of servants, but when you can work your way up to maintaining a beautiful place like this? I start wondering if maybe my issues with the whole thing are purely my own.

  And I escape down to the beach at least once a day - running barefoot along the sand and feeling the waves lapping at me. It turns out most of the sea is too risky to swim in, because of all the jellyfish, but after Simeon told me about a few out-of-the-way places that are safe I found I had a good excuse to wander along the beach for a mile or so. I do exactly what Derek promised - lie there in the sun, dipping in and out of the sea when I feel like it, and reading good books.

  He was true to his word, too - since that dinner, I’ve had amazing vegetarian meals delivered to my room every night. It feels a little weird eating alone, but it was much too far for Simeon to consider joining me and the only other person I’d ask…isn’t around right now. But the food makes up for it - I don’t even know what half of the things I’m eating are, but they’re delicious, and I’m currently working on a way to make it down into the kitchen and ask for some recipes without alarming half the household. That plan is very much a work in progress.

  So overall, it’s blissful. Perfect. Sun, sea, history, amazing architecture, all around a beautiful castle. Maybe some of it is a little weird and strange, but…mostly, it’s everything Derek promised.

  I tell myself that there’s nothing more I could ask for from a vacation.

  Until I think of a certain handsome, grinning Prince, anyway, and then that thought flies right out of my head.

  Where the hell are those benefits you promised me, hmm?

  Chapter Thirteen

  Derek

  I make it almost a week before I start to feel
like I’m going crazy.

  Which, for me, is something of a record.

  It wouldn’t be so bad if it didn’t feel like every single moment was being allocated and assigned and used and watching, but…fuck.

  And even that wouldn’t be so bad, if my mind wasn’t playing a movie of all the other things I could be doing instead. And who I want to be doing them with. But ever since that kiss…god, it’s all I can think about.

  I find myself wanting to run away from lunch discussions about the vineyards and olive groves, or sneak off in the middle of the afternoon when the steward I’m talking to is obviously getting sleepy, or just not turn up to yet another pointless family meeting. Which, in itself, is nothing new. But instead of craving a little time to myself…I know exactly who I want to run to.

  It’s driving me crazy that I haven’t seen her at all.

  I know she’s alright, because I get reports from that page - Simeon, I think - who from what I can tell, actually likes her. That’s a little surprising, since the pages make a point of having no opinion about anyone or anything. At least while they’re working. It makes their lives easier, I guess, and certainly makes it easier for the stewards to assign them to posts.

  So from what I can tell, she’s exploring, she’s happy, she’s doing all the things I told her this vacation would be about…so there’s nothing to worry about.

  But it still grates that I haven’t been able to ask her in person.

  The number of times I’ve almost knocked on her window in the middle of the night…but that would be stupid. This is her vacation, and she lost enough sleep at the beginning without me waking her up at ridiculous hours. I’m not even sure what I would say.

  Hey, I just wanted to see you, and I can’t get away at any other time…

  As I said, stupid.

  It’s not like just see you is the main thing on my mind, either. And turning up for that…yeah, I can imagine how well that would go down. It all started off so promisingly, too…

  Damn family. Damn responsibilities. Damn royalty.

  It’s not usually this bad, but I think they’re taking my ‘I want to do better’ assurance a little too seriously. That, and as my father said - he wants me fully exposed to Aldora again. I want to argue, but the obvious rebuttal is to have me finish my education here, so I don’t. I’m tired of arguing with them, anyway. It always happens, never goes anywhere, and I just end up pissed off and frustrated.

  So mostly, I’ve done what they wanted. I’ve kept my mouth shut, gone to the meetings they schedule, and got on with the business of being a Prince. Which, for a country that seems to be jumping from putting out one fire to the next, is a hell of a lot of work. But that’s what you get when your income streams are severely limited, and there’s no willingness to try and find new ones.

  In Aldora, we make wine, we grow olives, and we herd goats. Oh, and every so often, we have a royal spectacle - like marriage - that keeps the populace entertained and proud of our rich history.

  After another circular discussion about how we improve infrastructure for our people, biting my tongue from saying what’s actually wrong with this country, I’m done. I’m just done.

  And when the meeting breaks up, I find myself heading for the place I’ve always gone to - that spot at the top of the ramparts, where you can see for endless miles into the sea and dream of another place. The one I took Hanna too, where we kissed and I finally had her against me, for one brief moment.

  I smirk at that thought, wondering whether I’m always going to associate my favorite place in the castle with that now. I don’t think I’d mind if it was. It’s a very nice association to have - even if it does change that spot from contemplative to hot-sizzling energy.

  It isn’t until I get up there that I finally feel like I can breathe again - like all the stuffy rooms and oppressive tension within them are behind and below me. Which they are. I sigh and lean out against the walls, looking for that point on the horizon I always do. This is the one place that calmed some of my tantrums as a kid, and the pointless arguments I used to have with my father, and then when he tired of me, anyone else who would listen.

  The sun sparkles on the sea, and my shirt flaps a little in the breeze. I undo a few of the buttons at the top, enjoying it after feeling too hot and tight for the whole day.

  I wonder idly whether I’ll be able to evade whoever comes after me for long enough to find a page, work out where Hanna is, and go to see her. She’s here as my guest, after all, and it feels strange that I’m doing almost nothing in terms of hosting. But…being a Princess here pretty much takes care of that. She’s got the freedom to do whatever she wants, people who will eagerly help her and arrange anything she likes.

  The court may be a bitch, but the Aldoran people themselves are genuinely lovely. And any hesitance they might feel for an outsider tends to be completely overwhelmed by the fact she’s a Princesca. They love the royal family. Why, I couldn’t tell you, but they do. It’s their heritage, I guess - their form of celebrating independence. Personally, I would’ve picked a different form of celebration, but…maybe I shouldn’t complain about them not baying for our blood and going full-on republic style. It should be nice to be loved, right?

  I hear the door open behind me and almost groan. This is why I didn’t go to seek Hanna out immediately - I doubted I’d even get out ‘hello’ before someone chased after me. You would think my family would want me to spend a little more time with my Princesca-attenciano, but…maybe after everything that happened, that’s what they’re trying to avoid. Who knows.

  I glance over, and raise an eyebrow as I see Nicolas standing there.

  “His royal highness came to get me himself?” I ask.

  He just looks at me for a moment - I know he doesn’t appreciate the mocking title, but he doesn’t react. Nicolas and I have spent too many years insulting each other for it to be anything more than a habit, these days.

  “No. I didn’t know you were up here.”

  He comes to stand against the ramparts too, looking out over the ocean instead of at me - and as usual, he doesn’t elaborate any further, even though I’m surprised to see him.

  “Why are you here then?” I ask.

  I always ask. I’ve thought for years that this refusal to volunteer any sort of helpful information is a kind of power play - the sort of thing picked up from our father, no doubt - but I don’t mind giving in to it. I turned it into a game when I was a kid at one point - asking as many annoying questions as I could, and seeing whether I could provoke a reaction. But that got old pretty fast. Now I just ask whenever I’m curious about something, with no care for whatever undertone Nicolas is trying to put behind it.

  He’s silent for long enough that I don’t think he’s going to answer me. Sometimes he doesn’t.

  “I come up here to think sometimes. It’s a good place for it.”

  I blink, surprised again, then look back out to the horizon I was fixated on. I don’t remember him ever doing that before - and I used to be up here a lot. If we were still kids, I’d probably resent that he wants to take my spot from me too. But I’m not a kid, and a lot of that shit seems stupid now.

  “It is.” I say instead, agreeing with him. “I do too.”

  And then we both just stand there together - looking out at the view, breathing in the sea-salt air and getting lost in our own thoughts. And it’s not tense, or uncomfortable, and it doesn’t prickle under my skin the way being around Nicolas usually does.

  I don’t know why he’s not asking about whatever meeting I’m supposed to be at now - but then, I guess I’m not asking about wherever he’s supposed to be either. Though I doubt he’s actually avoiding anything - Nicolas isn’t the type for that. Though I remind myself that it’s been two years since I really spent any time with him, and even before that we’d both tried to pay as little attention to each other as possible. A lot can happen in that time and I don’t know much about what’s been going on here.

/>   We stay like that for a while, enough that I actually start relaxing again despite him being here - which was my whole purpose in coming up in the first place. My mind drifts to the last few days, and then the Princesca-attenciano debacle that I’ve started, and what might happen with the next presentation at court.

  In all likelihood, Hanna will be officially rejected - that’s the point I’ve always thought it would happen at. That’s the plan. But for some reason, the idea rankles anyway - maybe just because of how it’s all gone so far. I would have liked her to have at least one good experience, I guess, and for the court to see something in the woman I brought here. The thing I’d seen when I originally asked. I’m fucking glad I didn’t try to bring anyone else, anyway. If it was bad with Hanna…anyone else would have been an unmitigated disaster.

  Nicolas makes a disapproving click with his tongue, and I look up as it interrupts my thoughts.

  “What?” I say, though I have a feeling I don’t need to. The way he’s already looking over tells me he was going to elaborate anyway.

  “You really should talk to your Princesca-attenciano about proper Aldoran values. It’s just not…appropriate.”

  I have no idea what he’s talking about, or how this suddenly came up.

  He nods out towards the view, and I turn to look. The sea is as dazzling as it has been this whole time, but I bring my gaze lower and scan across the beaches instead, looking for whatever attracted Nicolas’s attention.

  “In full view of the castle, too.” He adds.

  I finally see it.

  And when I do, I’m suddenly reminded of all the other things I wanted to be doing.

  Hanna, lying on one of the beaches along the shore, behind a set of rocks that jut out and separate it from the beach directly before the castle ramparts. I hadn’t noticed her before, and maybe she’s just come out - and I can’t make out much, but it’s enough to set my body raging anyway.