by Ross Sayers
‘Great. Ah’ll gie ye a text. See ye later, Steven.’
Ah walk wi purpose, eager tae hear Jill’s reaction when ah tell her ah’ve worked oot a simple solution tae aw oor troubles. She’ll probably be annoyed she didnae hink ae it first, back when she needed tae save her pal Freddie.
But as ah walk, ah see a familiar face. A really familiar face. Daisy’s face. Ah pull the hood ae ma jaiket up and keip ma heid doon as ah pass her. She’s wi Frances. She’s talkin and gesturin wi her hawns and Frances is noddin along.
Once there’s enough distance between us, ah turn and watch.
Ah watch as she realises that she’s aboot tae walk by Steven.
Ah watch as she moves tae the other side ae Frances tae pit some distance between him and her.
Ah watch Steven’s face light up when he sees her.
Ah watch Steven wave and call her name.
Ah watch her roll her eyes and laugh.
Ah watch Frances’s face, tryin tae tell Steven she’s sorry wi her eyes.
Ah watch Daisy go back tae tellin her story a few seconds efter they’ve passed him.
Ah watch Steven as he pretends no tae mind, shakin his heid and smilin.
Ah watch, until ah turn ma back and ah cannae watch anymair.
40
‘Absolutely not,’ Jill says.
She throws her bag doon next tae me and takes up her seat on the other side ae the coffee table. We’ve gotten intae a routine in these past few days. She goes aff tae work, ah lie on the couch until she gets back. Interspersed by the odd wander or time travel related activity. Who’d huv thought ah’d be missin uni coursework. Daytime telly really takes yer soul fur a walk and leaves it in the middle ae naewhaur.
‘Ah willnae lie,’ ah say. ‘Ah wis hopin fur a bit mair optimism. This is honestly a great solution.’
‘It’s no. Ye cannae tell him ye’re fae the future.’
‘How no?’
‘Because ye’ve nae idea how he’ll take it. At best, he’ll hink ye’re a crazy person and he’ll run a mile. At worst, he’ll hink ye’re a really crazy person and phone the polis fur yer ain safety. Ah’m no huvin polis at ma door. Nut, ye’re no tellin him anyhin.’
Ah consider dramatically turnin aff the telly but that seems a bit far wi DIY SOS: The Big Build on. Ah’ve got right intae it since ah went back in time, the wan bright spark in the daytime schedule. Some ae it’s hard tae watch but it’s iways worth it in the end.
‘Huv ye considered that he might believe me? That he might avoid the game entirely, and that’ll be us sorted. He’ll survive, ah’ll get ma face back and you can go back tae yer… whitever it is ye got up tae afore ah turnt up.’
‘Ye’re no tellin him, end ae discussion.’
She reaches ower, grabs the remote and sticks the volume up. She’s absolutely terrified ae the polis. Ah mean, mair than maist folk. We aw get that wee bit ae anxiety when they pass ye in the street, whaur ye suddenly feel guilty cause they might’ve seen ye steal a traffic cone three days afore, but Jill’s properly scared ae them. Ah’m startin tae wonder whit she did tae create this new identity ae hers. Whitever she did, ah don’t fancy huvin tae go through it if ah cannae get back tae the right timeline.
Ah take oot Jill’s laptop fae the lower ledge ae the coffee table. Her eyes quickly look at me afore goin back tae the telly.
‘Don’t be lookin up anyhin weird, mind,’ she tells me. ‘Ah’ll pit a child lock on it if ye’re no sensible.’
She uses Internet Explorer which says a lot aboot her personality. She’s banned me fae goin on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram—basically any gid sites in case it messes wi the universe or whitever. Ah hink tweets fae a time traveller could dae decent numbers, as it happens.
Ah go on Glasgow Live and huv a swatch at some ae the stories. Ah play a game wi masel. Ah find the bad yins, the crimes and that, and try and work oot if ah could’ve stopped them if ah’d known aboot them in advance.
Man assaulted in broad daylight on Argyle Street
Potentially. But if naebdy on Argyll Street stopped it, the attacker wis probably the kind ae guy ye don’t get in the way ae. Ah suppose ah could’ve thrown a bucket ae cauld water on him.
Multiple car windows smashed in South Side in seemingly random attacks
That wid’ve involved me travellin aw the way tae the south side, which is a mission away. And the south side is full ae folk that huv convinced themsels that the south side is better than the west end, and let’s face it, thur jist kiddin themsels. Car windaes urnae important in the grand scheme ae hings anyway.
Mice cause havoc in Glasgow Pub
Hull-o. Ah read the article quickly, ma heart racin. Ah scan the block ae text, skippin past the stock photo ae the pub, lookin fur phrases lit “closed indefinitely” or “was burned to the ground to be safe”. Unfortunately, ah get tae the end ae the page withoot these phrases. The last paragraph reads:
Health and Safety Officials on the scene confirmed there was no infestation, and these mice were domesticated. “Probably someone with buyer’s remorse,” one official said. “And they decided to let them run free. We just hope they do it in a more appropriate place next time.”
The Harp & Hound Tavern will resume normal opening hours for the rest of the busy festive period.
Ah knew ah shid’ve went doon some lanes in the toon centre and picked up a few wild rats. It’s gonnae huv tae be Plan B efter aw.
Squeaker squeaks fae ma cardigan pocket, buried under the duvet.
‘Whit wis that?’ Jill asks.
‘Aw, nuhin, ah jist yawned.’
She eyes me suspiciously, but in the end goes back tae watchin the telly. Ah reach ower and pit the volume up a couple ae notches. Then ah dip ma hawn intae ma pocket and drop a quarter ae a digestive in there tae keep Squeaker occupied.
On the screen, Nick Knowles walks towards the camera tae wrap up the programme in a nice wee pre-prepared speech aboot community and people helpin people, while ah try and pit masel in Steven’s shoes and work oot how ah wid want it broken tae me that ah’m gonnae die soon. Ah’m gonnae tell him he’s gonnae die on Saturday, but ah’m no gonna tell him who ah really um. Thur’s only so much ye can ask a person tae believe.
Later that night, when Jill goes tae bed, ah text Steven. She isnae the boss ae me and she’s definitely no the boss ae time travel.
Awright Steven, Rose here. I know you’re sick of me but I REALLY need to see you. It’s properly important this time and after it I’ll never contact you ever again. I swear on my life. Meet me tomorrow? Pls?
Ah sit and wait fur his reply. Fuzzy orange light comes in through the blinds fae the streetlights. Every noo and then, the smell ae the dough fae Paesano wafts intae the flat. It surely adds at least twenty grand tae the market value ae this place. And it’s next tae that fancy private school fur blazer kids wi Range Rover parents. They can huv Paesano pizza every day for thur lunch if they fancy, whit a life. At ma high school, ye wur lucky if Gordon’s burger van turnt up and there wur aw kinds ae rumours aboot whit he pit in they burgers. Ah mean, pittin ground up kids in burgers seems unlikely but then, so does time travel.
It’s light when ah wake up. The telly’s been on aw night. Jill’s leccy bill willnae thank me but ah’ll be gone by the time it wings its way through the letterbox.
On the screen, two presenters urr laughin and jokin and pretendin they enjoy bein up at this time ae day. Gettin oot yer scratcher at four in the mornin every mornin must drain the very soul fae ye.
Ma hawn crawls lit Thing fae The Addams Family ower and under the duvet, lookin fur ma phone. Squeaker nips ma fing’rs and ah assume that’s his way ae wishin me a gid mornin and also askin whaur his breakfast is.
Eventually ah realise the phone’s sittin on the table and ah must’ve been responsible and decided no tae sleep on top ae it lit normal. Th
at wis iways wan ae Mum’s big worries. That ma phone wid catch on fire durin the night and set ma bed on fire. She wanted me tae keep it across the room. And yet, she wis iways makin the “is yer bed on fire?” joke when ah got up early on the weekends. Ye cannae huv it baith ways, Mum.
Ah bring the phone tae ma face. Ma sticky, hauf-awake eyes struggle tae handle the light fae the screen. They refocus and ah see a text fae Steven. It came in the early oors ae the mornin.
I’m sorry, no time at all this week... But I’ll see you at the hockey on Saturday?
41
Convincin folk tae dae hings is suhin ah’m gid at. Here, huv this Jägerbomb, ah’ve awready paid fur it noo, so ye might as well. See?
Ah once convinced ma pal Imogen that It’s a Wonderful Life wis originally made in colour and they changed it tae black and white durin the seventies tae make it seem mair lit a classic.
When ah wis seven, ah convinced ma mum tae buy a muffin maker fae Tesco’s efter ma da hud telt me it wis too expensive. She said “whit did yer da say?” and ah said “he said ah shid see whit you say”. We made muffins wan time, they wur shite, and it sat in the cupboard fur ten years cause ma mum couldnae bring hersel tae bin it.
Ah wis on the train tae Edinburgh withoot a ticket last year and ah convinced the conductor that ah wis the social media gurl fur Scotrail. He felt that sorry fur me he let me away withoot buyin a ticket and gave me a full-size KitKat on the hoose.
Noo, ah sit inside the Toby Jug in the centre ae toon, huvin convinced Steven tae meet me the day. He didnae want tae, fur whitever reason, but when ah texted him sayin ah wid come and meet him on his route, he relented. Well, the Toby Jug is near enough on his route. Ah suppose he disnae want his workmates seein the mad lassie that threatened tae sue him.
But it’s quarter past three, and we hud arranged fur three. He probably jist got caught up at work. It’s cauld and icy, these must be the worst kind ae conditions fur dealin wi wheelie bins. And then if wan tips ower, ah mean, there’s another twenty minutes added tae yer shift while ye huv tae pick it aw up.
But noo it’s quarter tae four, and he’s no sent a text tae say he’s runnin late. An auld man is eyein me up fae the bar. It must be wild livin in the mind ae an auld man, hinkin that ye’ve actually got a shot wi a lassie thirty years younger than ye. Or mibbe he realises he’s no got a shot, he jist hinks he’s allowed tae creep oot anyone he pleases cause it’s a free country. Then again, ah’ve nae idea whit ah’ll be lit when ah reach that age. If ah reach that age.
It’s half four. Ah text Steven.
You on your way?
And ah continue tae wait. The auld man at the bar wisnae eyein me up, as it happens. Ma table hud a copy ae the Daily Record sittin in amongst the food menus and he came up and took it wi a nervous smile.
No one fancies you, doesn’t matter which face you’ve got.
By five, ah’ve been through four pints and two plates ae nachos. But the nachos urr the same as every other place, wi aw the cheese on top. Is it too hard tae pit some nachos, then some cheese, then some nachos, then some cheese, and so on? Ah swear, ye take three really cheesy nachos fae the top ae the pile and then it’s dry city fur the rest ae the bowl.
It’s quarter past five when Steven responds.
I’m really sorry, Daisy. I’ll see you on Saturday.
Ma convincin powers seem tae be wainin. Ah must’ve lost ma powers in this body, lit Tony Stark withoot his suit.
Jill’s hame afore me fur once. She’s in a gid mood and it’s a nice change, no huvin a tense atmosphere in the livin room as we sit and watch telly and pretend ah’m no a weird time traveller that she’s desperate tae get rid ae. She’s a weird time traveller tae, of course, but she seems tae huv furgotten her roots.
‘Listen,’ Jill says, crossin the room and pittin a lamp on. ‘Ah know it’s been a tough time fur ye since ye… came back. But ah jist want tae say… ah hink ye’re dealin wi everyhin really well.’
She must be a mind reader or suhin.
‘Aye?’ ah say. ‘Thanks, Jill. Fur helpin me, and lettin me stay and that. Saves me hotel jumpin at least. And, aye, ah dunno whit ah wid’ve done if ye hudnae been there tae explain hings.’
‘No worries. Dinner’s on me the night, by the way. What d’ye fancy?’
‘Jill, ah think you know.’
Efter another Paesano run, we sit and eat withoot talkin, watchin the telly as the night draws in. It’s become clear Jill disnae go oot efter work very much. If creatin a hale new identity is hard, ah huv tae imagine makin a hale new set ae friends is jist as bad. Ah don’t mind the borin nights in since ah know ah’ve got a real life tae go back tae but… whit if this wis yer life? Work aw week, wi wan night oot at the weekend tae look forward tae, if ye’re lucky. Unless Jill’s hidin her real life in the shadows until ah’m gone. Mibbe she disnae want me tae see the kind ae folk she associates hersel wi.
‘Ye know whit, Jill,’ ah say, slidin the waistband ae ma lounge pants doon below whaur ma belly sticks oot the maist. ‘Ah’ll miss these nights thigether.’
‘Really?’
‘Mibbe in that way ye miss an auld pal fae school cause ye only remember the gid times and no the bad. And it’s a bit ae a rest fae the real world, nae pals wantin me tae go oot every night.’
‘Ye don’t like goin oot wi yer pals?’
‘Aw naw, ah love goin oot. It’s jist… nice tae huv a break.’
When ah woke up this mornin, the first hing ah thought aboot wis whit happens if ah don’t make it back. Ah pictured the scene: everyone bein sad fur a few weeks… then realisin hings urr better withoot me. Frances and Sam no huvin tae hide thur wee secret night oots thigether. Siobhan bein relieved she disnae need tae huv any mair therapy sessions wi me, rippin ma pages oot her notebook. Mum losin me and Steven in the same week. Ah need tae get back fur her, if naebdy else.
How long before someone even notices? Could be weeks.
Ah iways go on nights oot, even when ah don’t want tae, even when ah’m hungover, even when ah know it’s gonnae be terrible. Because… if ah’m no there…
They’ll realise how much better it is without you.
Ah’m iways there.
When we aw sat wi Lorraine Kelly and got her tae dae a Buckie bomb wi us? Daisy wis there.
When Lizzy McRae hud tae go tae A&E when she fell at pre-drinks but turnt up at Shenanigans at hauf eleven? Daisy wis there, she went ootside and got her fae the taxi.
When Frances got aff wi that guy that wis definitely in wan ae the Fast & Furious fulms but naebdy could say exactly who he played, jist that he wis definitely a wee bit famous? Daisy wis there, she wis the matchmaker.
And noo Daisy isnae anywhaur. Well, ah suppose she is. Ower there in Hillhead, wonderin why her favourite jumper’s went missin. Ah’ve awready lived that week though, it wisnae aw that excitin. And noo the only person who knows ah’m Daisy is Jill.
Except…
Ah keep ma eyes on Jill as ah slide ma phone fae the table and open up the text ah got fae Steven earlier.
I’m really sorry, Daisy. I’ll see you on Saturday.
Jill looks the picture ae innocence. Ah type 141 intae ma phone tae make the call withheld, then copy in Steven’s number. Ah hit the call button.
Brrrr brrrr. Brrrr brrrr.
Jill’s jaiket is hung on the back ae the livin room door. Suhin in the pocket starts vibratin.
42
We baith hear it, vibratin in the jaiket pocket, rattlin against the door. Jill skips across the room tae fetch it. Ah hit the end button afore she can answer, under the duvet, keepin ma eyes on the telly. She frowns at the phone, but soon dismisses it and pits her phone in her pocket and sits back doon.
‘Who wis that?’ ah ask.
‘Dunno,’ she says. ‘Withheld.’
That mornin ah woke up and ma phone wis on the table inst
eid ah bein lost somewhaur in the duvet. Ah knew ah wisnae that responsible. While ah slept, Jill must’ve went on ma phone, deleted Steven’s number and changed it tae hers.
Ah could really be daein wi a visit fae Yotta right noo. She might huv found oot some info on Jill. And ah could gie her Squeaker tae keep safe. He’s asleep the noo but ah don’t fancy another tantrum fae Jill if she realises he’s still in the flat.
Ah’m suddenly really warm, sweat gatherin on the instep ae ma foot. Ah let a few minutes go by afore ah speak.
‘Could ah borrow yer laptop again?’
Jill nods and gestures tae it on the table.
‘Aye, but remember, nuhin dodgy.’
Nuhin dodgy, whit a cheek! Ah open the laptop and angle the screen away fae her. Ah dae a Google search fur Elouise Green. Glasgow Live and Daily Record articles urr the highest results.
Family plea for missing daughter, Elouise Green, to return home
Search continues for missing Glasgow woman, Elouise Green: 14 days since she was last seen alive
Police question boyfriend of missing woman Elouise Green
Ah click on the third link.
Missing Glasgow woman, Elouise Green, 27, has not been seen or heard from since disappearing while on a night out on March 4th.
But reports today confirm Elouise’s boyfriend, Daniel Urquhart, 26, was questioned AGAIN by police this week in relation to her disappearance.
