He dropped his forehead so it rested on top of her head and squeezed her in a tight hug as his chest constricted with the additional pain he’d inadvertently caused. Even after all these years, it was still hard to accept he truly mattered to anyone, Liam and Joanne included. But Muriel was helping with that, and seeing the pain in Joanne’s eyes was another eye-opening kick in the ass. He might not have mattered to his birth mother or his adoptive parents, but he mattered to the Stewarts, and he was wrong to abandon them.
Drawing back so he could see Joanne’s eyes, he said, “Yes, ma’am. I promise.” He glanced at Liam so he understood the upcoming apology was for both of them. “I was filled with so much guilt for not having saved Ian and for not being the one who died that day instead of him…” He drew in a deep breath, then forged ahead. “Every time I talked to you, it was a harsh reminder of my failings.”
He brushed Joanne’s hair back and kissed her forehead. “I didn’t think about the way my actions made you feel.” He cut his gaze to Muriel, who stood off to the side, smiling through her tears. “Something I’ve been guilty of for a while now. But I promise to do better from now on.”
Liam stepped up and shook his hand, then wrapped his arm around Mathew’s shoulder in a tight grip. “We’ve spent the afternoon catching up with Muriel—”
She bit her lip and hunkered down as Mathew flashed her an incredulous, They’ve done what? look. He thought they’d only been in town a short while—like maybe an hour—but apparently, they’d been here much longer.
“And I have to say we’re awfully proud of you. You’ve worked through a lot this past year and a half, and to have continued growing your practice and the club the way you have…”
Another shocked, What the fuck? glance at Muriel had her taking a step back toward the kitchen.
“I hope like hell you’re slinking into the kitchen to fix me a drink.” Because he sure as shit needed one. To the best of his knowledge, they didn’t even know Pandora’s existed.
Liam and Joanne burst into laughter as Muriel smiled sheepishly. “Yes, Sir. I can fix you a drink.” Grinning to Liam and Joanne, she said, “Do you need a refill?”
Joanne waved her off. “No, we’re good. But you should probably get a double shot for Mathew. He looks like he could use it.”
Muriel dipped her head and giggled. “Yes, Ma’am. I’ll do that.”
Ma’am?
Jaw slack, eyes narrowed, Mathew turned to stare at Joanne… who cocked an eyebrow, crossed her arms over her chest, and smiled conspiratorially.
Holy shit! He recognized that look. It was one he saw on Dommes all the time. All he could do was laugh while shaking his head and muttering, “I knew it. Dammit, deep in my gut, I knew all along. But there are just certain things you don’t dwell on when it’s your parents… or parental figures, and…” He ran a hand over his face, then dropped them to his hips and stared at the floor.
He couldn’t look either of them in the eye, but he had questions. “So… obviously…” Nope, he couldn’t go there. Joanne’s expression, combined with her stance and Muriel calling her Ma’am—something she’d never done before in his presence—gave him all the information he needed about Liam and Joanne’s relationship.
Starting again, on a different path, he said, “How long have you known about the club?”
The Stewarts laughed again. “Since the day you went to look at the building. Ian called and told us your plans and asked our thoughts and suggestions.”
Mathew drew his top lip into his mouth and clamped down. “And when did you find out Ian, Lucas, and I were part of the lifestyle?”
“Since you were in college.” This came from Joanne.
So from the beginning. He ran his hand back and forth across his forehead as he paced the living room. How could it be that everyone who mattered knew so much about him, and he thought he’d kept everything so well hidden?
The realization brought him up short as a chill crashed over him. He glanced at Muriel, who stood beside him with a drink in hand, then to Liam and Joanne. If they knew so much about him, and Ian knew of Mathew’s feelings for Muriel, then surely they were privy to that information as well. He drew in a shuddering breath and closed his eyes.
When he blinked them open, Muriel stood toe to toe in front of him. “They know everything, Mathew. Always have.”
“Mathew.” Joanne’s tone was stern, demanding his full attention. “You’ve never intentionally harmed another person. Despite your upbringing and whatever you think about yourself because of that, I’m here to tell you you’re a good man with a huge heart. You always do what you think is best and right for those you care about. There’s nothing to be ashamed of. Do you understand?”
When he glanced at Liam, the older man said, “This is where you say, ‘Yes, Ma’am,’ and we get on with dinner.”
Mathew tossed his head back and laughed as the tension filling his chest drained away. He took the drink from Muriel, pulled her into his side, and nodded once to Joanne. “Yes, Ma’am.”
Letting his laughter fade, he said, “For what it’s worth… I am sorry I couldn’t save Ian. And I’m sorry I pulled away from you, the only family I’ve ever had. But I promise to take care of Muriel, and I’ll be more open and honest with you if there’s something going on.”
After another round of hugs, they got on with dinner, and the rest of the evening was uneventful—thank God. Mathew wasn’t sure he could handle any more surprises.
After walking Joanne and Liam out to their car, he returned to the condo to find Muriel humming as she cleaned up the kitchen and snuffed out the candles.
“Thank you.”
She turned to him with a quizzical expression. “You’re welcome… For what?”
Wrapping his arms around her waist, he pulled her in for a hug and rested his cheek on top of her head. “For insisting we get together with them. I’ve missed them. A lot.”
She melted into him as she returned his hug. “They’ve missed you too.”
“I always thought Joanne would make a great Domme, but I never dreamed she really was one.”
Muriel giggled. “Ian once told me he didn’t think you knew his parents were kinky. The comical expression on your face as you figured it out was priceless.”
“I also had no idea they knew about the club. Did you take them by and show them your Roman tubs?”
“No, there wasn’t time today. There was too much to catch up on. But they’ll be back in a month or so. Maybe you can take them then. It was your blood, sweat, and… well, probably no tears.” She laughed again. “But you and Lucas did all the work, so you should be the one to show it off.”
He stared at the ocean waves rolling onshore and thought about how much better life was today than six months ago… all because Lucas forced his hand by insisting they play with Muriel. In some ways, because his life was so drastically different, it seemed like a lifetime ago. In other ways, because he was enjoying life for the first time, it seemed like only a matter of days.
A shudder rocked him as he considered how horrific life had been without Muriel. He didn’t ever want to go back to his previous existence.
Feeling him shiver, she drew back and studied his expression. “Are you okay?”
“I’m more than okay, angel.” Before he could overthink what his heart already knew, he cupped her cheek and held her gaze steady. “I can’t go back to living the way I did before you.”
She smiled and tugged on the sides of his shirt. “You don’t have to.”
“Yeah, well… the only way to make sure you never get away is to put an unbreakable titanium collar around your neck.” He’d seen enough in his practice to believe the bond of a Master and sub was stronger than any piece of paper granted by the state. But he also believed in Muriel and her love and was willing to stake his life on both with her. “I don’t have a ring because I hadn’t planned on doing this tonight, but we’ll go to the jewelry store tomorrow and have a ring and collar made
… if you agree to be mine forever.”
Tears spilled from her eyes as her diamond-bright smile filled the room. “I’m yours forever, even without the ring and collar. But I’d be honored to wear both.”
Scooping her up in his arms, he carried her to the bedroom and started another conversation he never thought he’d have. “How do you feel about children?”
She turned wide eyes to him and nodded. “I’d love to have children with you.”
Laughing, he tossed her on the bed, then began unfastening the buttons of his shirt. “While the thought both thrills and terrifies me, like everything else, if we’re doing it together, I believe it’ll work out just fine. But before the house is filled with rug rats…” He tossed his shirt to the side, toed off his shoes, pulled off his socks, then unfastened his belt and slid it free of the loops. “There’s still a million and two things I want to do to you, so we better get started.” Hunger filled his smile as he crossed his arms over his chest and said, “Strip.”
As his sweet submissive scrambled off the bed, dropped her gaze to the floor, and whispered, “Yes, Sir,” while reaching for the side zipper of her skirt, explosive joy filled his chest. Sometimes he still found it hard to believe she was his, but he would never take her love for granted and would spend the rest of his life making sure she knew how much she was loved and cherished.
Thank you for reading Coveted (Pandora’s Playground #1). If you enjoyed this book, please help others discover it by leaving an honest review.
Coming this fall, the highly anticipated Exposed (Pandora’s Playground #2), featuring Lucas Steele and Kiera Parke.
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Other books by Alannah Lynne:
Heat Wave series:
Saving Me (Heat Wave Novel #1)
Last Call (Heat Wave Novel #2)
Crossing Lines (Heat Wave Novel #3)
Going All In (Heat Wave Novel #4)
Matter of Time (Heat Wave Novel #5)
Each book in the Heat Wave series stands alone and can be read out of order.
If you enjoyed COVETED, I highly recommend PLAYING WITH TEMPTATION, Book #1 in Erika Wilde’s hot and emotional Player’s Club Series. I hope you enjoy the following excerpt!
TEMPTATION HAS NEVER BEEN SO HOT . . .
When Raina Beck is given an invitation to The Players Club, all she wants is a night of decadence with a gorgeous, sexy stranger. The seductive, mysterious man she meets fulfills her deepest desires and most erotic fantasies, giving her a night she’ll never forget. But forgetting him isn’t quite so easy.
Logan Cruz prefers his women submissive and compliant in the bedroom . . . everything the independent Raina is not. Yet from the first moment he lays eyes on her, he’s determined to make Raina his. Despite her resistance.
When Logan is assigned to protect Raina from a stalker, everything between them changes. Sex becomes more than just physical, and emotions run deep. Falling in love was never on Raina’s agenda, but can she let go of the past and surrender the one thing he wants the most . . . her heart?
Chapter One
Raina Beck finished helping a customer select a bottle of warming massage oil, then headed over to the lingerie section of her store, Sugar and Spice, a sensual, upscale adult boutique that catered to the residents of San Diego. She paused at the rack of new arrivals, where her good friend, Jillian Noble, was perusing the gorgeous items.
“Find anything you like?” Raina asked as the other woman contemplated a leopard-print bustier before putting it back on the stand.
Jillian smiled at her as she shuffled through a few more pieces. “The problem is, there’s too much to like, which is a good thing. I’m looking for something a little different than everything I already have…” Her words trailed off, and her eyes lit up as she lifted a hanger displaying a sexy red ensemble that consisted of a demi bra, a short flirty skirt that was only a few inches of fabric that would barely cover her bottom, and a matching lace thong, along with a garter belt and thigh-high stockings.
“I think this is it,” Jillian announced with a succinct nod of her head.
“If Dean comes home to find you wearing that outfit, I think all bets are off,” Raina teased her friend.
“That’s what I’m counting on, and I think he’ll really like the short little skirt, too.” She handed the hanger to Raina. “I’ll take it, along with one of those feather ticklers you have on display, the one with the soft ostrich feathers.”
“You got it.” Raina smiled, knowing Jillian, a good customer, appreciated the more sexually adventurous items Sugar and Spice provided to those who wanted to kink up their sex lives. Selecting a tickler with deep red feathers to match the outfit, she met her friend up at the front counter.
As she rang up Jillian’s purchases, she asked, “How are you enjoying working with Stephanie?”
“I absolutely love it. I couldn’t be happier,” Jillian said, her expression reflecting her newfound joy. “I’m helping her design those fantasy suites at the hotel, and tomorrow I have a consultation with a woman who wants to redecorate her bedroom in a sexier version theme of The Secret Garden theme.”
“Sounds like a fun project.” Raina swiped Jillian’s credit card to process the sale. The two of them had become close friends over the past months, and because she knew Jillian’s husband had been so opposed to his wife taking a job, Raina couldn’t help but wonder how that was going. “Is everything still good with Dean and you working for Stephanie?”
“He’s getting used to it and adjusting. I make sure I always make time for just the two of us, and it keeps him happy.”
“Men really are such basic creatures,” Raina said with a laugh. “Keep them plied with food and sex and they’re happy, content, and satisfied.”
Jillian lifted a curious brow. “Speaking of men and sex…when are you going to indulge a little?”
Raina shrugged as she wrapped her ensemble in pink tissue and tucked it into a bag. “I think all the good guys are taken. And then there’s the men who find out I own a sex toy boutique and decide I’m fair game for outrageous, kinky sex, because, you know, I have access to all sorts of depraved items.”
She rolled her eyes to make light of her comment, but the truth ran much deeper and stirred up other painful memories that reminded her of why she kept her heart and emotions under lock and key—the pain of such complete and utter rejection was something that had left her guarded and very cautious when it came to a man’s interest in her.
Admittedly, she did enjoy hot, adventurous sex. After all, she’d opened Sugar and Spice as a way to help women empower themselves sexually, to get in touch with their desires and be confident enough to enjoy every aspect of sex. But she also knew it took an equally strong, self-assured man to accept her line of business, to not feel threatened or embarrassed by the fact that she owned a boutique that catered to enhancing sexual pleasure.
Unfortunately, over the years, she’d learned that she wasn’t the best judge of character when it came to a man’s motives and his reasons for dating her, which also made it extremely difficult to decipher what was real, or if she was nothing more than someone’s dirty little secret that he used until the excitement wore off.
Too many painful experiences had taught her that because of what she did for a living, men were more than willing to fuck her like a porn star in private, but they drew the line at taking her out in public or bringing her home to meet the family, which made her feel cheap and dirty—as if her own father’s fire and brimstone prediction about her being a whore had come true. Men didn’t date a woman like her with long term in mind, and it had become much easier for Raina to keep her emotional distance rather than face criticism and the sting of rejection all over again.
She’d been burned a few times, and she wasn’t allowing any man to get close enough to do it again. Now, sex was all about physical pleasure, nothing more
, and she’d recently decided that if anyone was going to do the using, it was going to be her for a change. Unfortunately, an opportunity hadn’t presented itself, but if the right guy came along, she certainly wasn’t opposed to enjoying a no-strings-attached one-night stand.
“Maybe you need hot anonymous sex,” Jillian suggested with a naughty twinkle in her eye, as if she’d had a direct link to Raina’s thoughts.
“It’s been a long dry spell and the idea is definitely tempting,” Raina replied, a humorous note lacing the truth of her words. Vibrators and sex toys did the job as far as getting her off, but they couldn’t replace the feel or pleasure of a strong, powerful, virile man thrusting deep inside of her or skimming his hands along her curves, his hot mouth seducing hers.
Yes, she definitely missed that, and the provocative thought made her feel a bit flushed.
Jillian bit her bottom lip for a second before reaching into her purse and pulling out a white envelope. “You’ve done a lot for me, and I want to do something for you for a change. Take this, and indulge yourself.” She pushed the envelope across the counter to Raina.
Raina picked it up and read the word Welcome embossed in black across the front. “What is this?” she asked, confused and curious at the same time.
“An invitation to The Players Club.”
Raina’s eyes widened in surprise, and her heart fluttered in her chest with undeniable excitement. She knew exactly what The Players Club was—a private, members-only sex club that catered to an elite and prominent clientele in order to maintain its exclusivity. A personal recommendation was required to even visit the club, and since Dean and Jillian had recently become members, they now had the privilege of extending an invitation to a guest.
Coveted (Pandora's Playground #1) Page 18
