Forever Wishes (Montana Brides, Book 4)

by Leeanna Morgan

  Lucy threw a ball of soap suds in his direction. “Serves you right for liking my cooking so much.”

  Jake smiled as another wet dish came his way. He’d needed something mundane to take his mind off the dismal day he’d had. He wasn’t altogether comfortable with Lucy’s heart-to-heart discussions. But he did feel better after talking about his non-existent relationship with Erin.

  Maybe he’d take Lucy’s advice and give Erin a call tomorrow. And then he’d call his brother.

  ***

  Erin threw another load of dirty clothes in the washing machine. She hadn’t slept much the night before and she felt exhausted. Worse than exhausted. She was short-tempered, grouchy, and had developed a serious addiction to chocolate.

  Nicky would be arriving soon to go for a walk and some much-needed girl talk. Something had to lighten the dark mood sitting on her shoulders and she hoped some female bonding time would do the trick.

  The night after her disastrous discussion with Jake she’d come to some rather startling conclusions. Yes, she really liked him. Yes, she wanted to be his friend. Yes, she wanted to have mind-blowing sex with the man again, and quadruple yes, she really wanted him to be the father of her children.

  The fact he didn’t want children, and may not want anything more to do with her, made chocolate a top priority in her life.

  The trouble with Jake, she decided, wasn’t Jake. He couldn’t help being a gorgeous, funny, sexy man. No. The trouble with Jake was Erin. Every time she came within a few feet of him her hormones went into overdrive and she couldn’t think straight. There was nothing rational in wanting to get up close and personal to a man you’d only known for a week. And she put a lot of store in being rational.

  “Anyone home?”

  “I’ll be there in a minute.” Racing around the house, Erin closed the windows and grabbed a sweater from her closet. She ran onto the front porch and grinned at her best friend. “Wow, you look amazing.”

  Nicky had pulled a bright pink hat on top of her head and wore purple striped leggings with a yellow long-sleeved t-shirt.

  “Is this one of Emily’s creations?”

  Nicky spun in a circle. “Pretty amazing isn’t it? I’ve got to hand it to her, she knows how to put colors together.”

  Nicky’s sister designed the most amazing clothes Erin had ever seen. She’d just finished a fashion course and wanted to open her own boutique.

  “She’s going to make me another pair of leggings with red and green stripes for Christmas.”

  Erin grinned, remembering last year’s little red dress that had caused quite a stir at the Christmas party they’d been to. “You’ll look like a cute version of the Cat in the Hat. Let’s go. I need this walk like you wouldn’t believe.” The fresh bite of mountain air smelled wonderful and she needed a whole bunch of wonderful in her life at the moment.

  “Which way?”

  “Left. We can watch the sunset.” They crossed the street and sped up, arms pumping, feet pounding.

  “You sounded upset on the phone.” Nicky frowned. “What’s going on?”

  “Jake told me he doesn’t want children.”

  Nicky screeched to a halt. “Another one?”

  “Call me an anti-baby magnet.” Stuffing her hands in her pockets, Erin scuffed her shoes against the pavement. “At least he was honest. Unlike Matthew who left it until the last minute to let that little gem slip into a conversation.”

  “Are you going to see him again?”

  The thought of not seeing Jake simply because she wanted children and he didn’t, seemed nuts. “I’d like to, but I think I’ve scared him off.”

  Nicky grabbed her arm and pulled her along the street. “Keep walking. If it doesn’t sort your head out, it will definitely help your heart.”

  “I’m hoping it will do both,” Erin sighed.

  Nicky pursed her lips. “Maybe you just need to relax and not think too far ahead of yourself.”

  “Where did that come from? My life has always been like a living diary. If it’s not written down, it doesn’t happen.”

  “And you think I don’t know this?” Nicky laughed. “You don’t just have shopping lists; you have exercise lists, house lists, work lists and lists of the lists you keep.”

  “I do not.” A smile crept onto Erin’s face. “Well, not lists of lists, anyway.” The idea of taking life one day at a time pushed her comfort zone too far.

  Jake didn’t appear in any list at the moment and she didn’t think he ever would. Except maybe her, ‘In Your Dreams’ list. That list got pushed to the back of her bedside drawer and hardly ever saw daylight.

  “What are you going to do?” Nicky increased the pace.

  Erin pumped her arms. Her heart rate kicked up a notch and her body moved into top gear. “Beg. Grovel. Pant. Any and all of the above scenarios if they work.”

  Nicky hooted with laughter. “If the man makes you feel like panting then you’ve got some serious issues to deal with. How panty are we talking?”

  “Major pants. Like this man could be it, kind of pants.”

  “But he doesn’t want kids.”

  “I know.” And that had kept her up half the night.

  “Do you want my advice?”

  Erin nodded.

  “You’re a grown woman. You’re entitled to live life dangerously. Knock on the man’s door and see what happens. Use what you know. Get those lists out and make plans. If he’s still allergic to parenthood after you spend time together, then I’ll come around and drown you in ice cream.”

  Chewing her bottom lip, Erin stared into the distance. She’d been in a dangerous mood before the ball and look where that had got her. Flat on her back, wearing nothing except a pair of red high-heels.

  “So if Jake were to appear on a list, what list would it be?”

  She didn’t even need to think about the answer to that question. “Easy. My ‘Life List’.”

  “Watch the doggy poop.” Nicky grabbed her arm before her foot collided with a brown blob on the sidewalk.

  They kept walking and Erin’s brain clicked into the rhythm of their walk-and-talk session. “As much as I can figure, I’ve got three options.”

  “Three?”

  “Yep.” Glancing at Nicky, she began ticking the options off on her fingers. “I could share some play time with Jake before I find a man to start a family with. I could have a baby with him on the understanding he could have as little or as much to do with us as he wants. Or I could forget about him entirely.”

  “You missed one.”

  “What?”

  Nicky frowned. “You could forget about having children.”

  Strands of hair whipped across Erin’s startled face. “That’s not an option.”

  “What about ditching Jake? Just because you’ve found two men in a row who don’t want kids, it doesn’t mean every male feels the same way. There are heaps of men in the world who aren’t anti anything in diapers.”

  Erin slowed down as she thought about crossing Jake off her list. That’d be like finding out Santa didn’t exist. Life just wouldn’t be the same without the excitement of a special gift left under the tree from the merry man in red.

  “I really like him.” And that had to be the understatement of the year. That only left her with the play time and donate-a-sperm options. Erin had a strong suspicion he wouldn’t share her flexible approach to sharing his DNA. It seemed a sensible solution to her baby issue, but sucked as far as keeping him in her life. If there was a compromise halfway between the two options, she couldn’t work out what it would be.

  “Pump those legs, girlfriend. You’re falling behind.” Nicky had zoomed ahead while she’d been stuck in sperm donor land.

  Erin ran to catch up. “I’m pretty sure option two is a goner as well.”

  “So, where does that leave you?”

  “Play time, with a subtle twist on option two included.”

  “Sounds like fun.” A grin slid across Nicky’s face.
“You’ll need to sort your twist out, though. And you need a timeline. You can’t play forever.”

  Erin felt Nicky’s business brain humming like high-powered electricity lines. Lists might be her field of expertise, but Nicky had the market cornered on strategic planning.

  Erin chewed her bottom lip. “What about six months?”

  Nicky burst out laughing. “That’d be nice.”

  Heat swept through Erin’s body. Just thinking about what six months of playtime could involve made her hormones stand to attention. And six months seemed like a pretty good length of time to show Jake how amazing they could be together.

  With a sinking heart, she knew that if he hadn’t come around to her way of thinking in that time frame, it would never happen.

  Erin picked up her pace. Jake Williams had six months to figure out they could make beautiful babies together. Six months and not a day more. And if she could work out how to include a little donate-a-sperm activity into the plan, she’d have all her bases covered.

  Like an oasis rising out of the desert, Maisy’s Chocolate Café loomed in the distance. “Follow me, Nicky. I’m going to order us the biggest, gooiest, dessert I can find.” With a new found spring in her step and an image of triple caramel fudge cake in her mind, Erin pulled Nicky down the street.

  She pushed Jake into the ‘Too Hard to Handle’ list and made a beeline for their heavenly salvation.

  ***

  Mashing potatoes wasn’t the most glamorous of jobs, but years ago Erin had worked out that cooking provided a great stress buster in times of need.

  She’d woken up that morning with a plan to let Jake know she wanted to spend more time with him. It was just a pity that he didn’t know he’d become the object of her impulsiveness. Trying to track him down proved so difficult, that by the end of the afternoon she’d almost given up.

  His work phone had been constantly busy and he wasn’t answering his cell phone. She’d left a message for him to call her and he hadn’t replied. If he didn’t want anything more to do with a neurotic, estrogen starved female, then she’d just have to deal with it and get on with her life.

  By the time dinner was bubbling on the stove, Jake Williams and his six-months-at-tops timeline had disappeared off her ‘Life List’. She should have been happy, ecstatic even, that she knew exactly where she stood. She could move on and stop fantasizing about a certain male covered from head to foot in blue Lycra and wearing a red cape.

  But she didn’t feel happy about his quick exit from her life. In fact, she felt positively miserable.

  She jumped when the doorbell rang. A little glimmer of hope flared to life. She half hoped, half prayed, Jake might be waiting on her doorstep. But she’d probably scared him off. He would have called before he came around, called to let her know he’d heard her message.

  As she walked down the hallway, she ran her hands through her hair and straightened her top, just in case she looked like the porcupine from hell.

  She opened her front door and her six-months-at-tops man stood on her doorstep. He looked like he’d just stepped out of the pages of a fashion magazine. A white shirt hugged his wide shoulders and at some stage during the day he’d undone the top button, loosening his blue silk tie until it rested an inch below his collar. With his sleeves rolled up past his elbows he looked like a man on a mission.

  Wearing a grim frown and a no-nonsense stare like bulletproof armor, he would have scared a less determined woman. Erin swallowed, trying to pull a reckless streak out of her sensible body. She would live dangerously. Impulse would be her middle name.

  He held a bouquet of soft pink roses and a white flag toward her. “I come in peace.” A lopsided grin followed the roses.

  A flutter of anticipation settled in the bottom of Erin’s stomach. She stared at the tiny pink buds, bound together with a big white ribbon. They smelled like a ball of sweet cotton candy.

  No matter which way she looked at it, Jake was finding his way into her heart. She gave herself a mental shake. She needed to harden up and remember what was important in her life. He wanted to be her friend, not the father of her children.

  “Thanks.” She smiled as she took the bouquet out of his hands. “The flowers are beautiful, but it should be me who’s coming in peace, not you. I over-reacted yesterday.”

  “You were being honest with me. Having kids means a lot to you.”

  “So does our friendship.”

  Jakes lopsided grin tugged at her heart. “I’d like to be your friend.”

  Erin took a deep breath, stamping down on the rush of pleasure his smile gave her. “Have you had dinner?”

  “No, not yet. I just got your message and thought I’d come around.”

  Erin cleared her throat. “You’re welcome to stay for a meal if you like?”

  “I’d like to very much.” A soft look filled his eyes and she had to look away before she melted on the doorstep.

  Jake sniffed the air as he followed her through to the kitchen. “Something smells good.”

  She’d been pummeling potatoes so hard that she hadn’t noticed the rich smell of garlic, red wine and herbs wafting from the casserole. “I was just about to start eating. Take a seat and I’ll get an extra plate for you.”

  Over steak casserole, mashed potatoes, and green beans, she talked about anything and everything except what was really on her mind.

  Erin looked down at her dessert plate. A gooey mess of ice cream and peaches stared back. It was time to tackle the dreaded baby topic. “Jake?”

  His spoon paused midair.

  Erin swallowed. How do you tell a man he’s the most incredible person you’ve met? That you want to jump his bones to create the most amazing child together? “I appreciate you telling me that you don’t want to be a father, even though I think you’d make a great dad.” She stumbled over her words.

  Jake relaxed slightly in his chair.

  “I, umm. Well, please don’t take offense. I sort of wondered if you’d, umm, ever considered being the biological father of a child, but not actually living with the mother?”

  He coughed so hard that she thought he was choking. She rushed around to his side of the table and banged him hard on his back, trying to remember how to do the Heimlich maneuver from her first-aid course at the library.

  Jake stared at her, trying to get his breathing under control. He waved away her next round of anti-choking maneuvers. “I’m fine,” he wheezed through gasping lungs.

  She ran across to the sink and got him a glass of water.

  He looked at her like she’d sprouted three heads.

  This was so not going to plan. She wished she’d never brought up option two. She should have waited until she had the subtle twist sorted out and not bowled head first into a mine field.

  Gulping down some water, he looked across at her. “Let me get this straight. You want to know if I’d consider being your sperm donor?” His voice squeaked, like he’d just been dealt a deadly blow by a well-placed knee.

  The blood drained from her face. If she could have crawled out of the door on all fours, then returned to start their conversation over, she would have. But that wasn’t going to happen. “It was just a thought.” Shrugging her shoulders, she tried to look as though it wasn’t a big deal.

  He sat back and a shudder passed through his body.

  She cringed. So much for her acting ability. Jake looked as though he would have believed little green men had landed in her backyard more than her feigned disinterest in borrowing a few of his sperm.

  “There’s no way in hell my sperm are going to be swimming anywhere, anytime soon, unless under strictly quarantined situations.”

  Erin winced.

  He took a deep breath. In a much calmer voice he said, “Just to make sure my answer is perfectly clear, let me repeat myself. No, I haven’t given sperm donation any thought. And no, it’s not going to happen.”

  Erin tried to stop the blush streaking through her body. Jake might give
the appearance of being a sensitive new-age kind of guy, but if anyone tried to mess with his sperm they were in for the fight of their life.

  “Forget I ever mentioned the donor option.” She didn’t know how to move their conversation onto safer ground. Pushing her dessert bowl across the table, she gazed at her man of steel.

  He looked worried.

  “I really like you, Jake. How about we try for an old-fashioned friendship and see how things go from there?” After dropping the donor option on his head, she decided it was time to make a hasty retreat.

  Any form of conversation involving babies would now be banned. She crossed her fingers under the table, hoping like crazy he’d like her enough in a few months’ time to put up with her harebrained baby-making schemes and tight time frame.

  He didn’t look entirely convinced that she’d dropped the sperm donor idea. But he also hadn’t run out the front door, so maybe they were making progress.

  “Friendship I can do. But what’s your definition of an ‘old-fashioned friendship’?”

  Men. After the mind-boggling conversation they’d just had she didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. He didn’t want children, but that didn’t necessarily mean holding hands was about as up close and personal as he wanted to get.

  This time around she’d stick to being cautious and rule out any additional benefits their friendship could develop into. She had to keep a few bargaining chips up her sleeve, especially if her opponent had the best poker face she’d ever seen.

  Besides, a girl had to pick and choose when she lived dangerously. “Well, I’d say an old-fashioned friendship meant things like holding hands and the odd kiss. Not the whole wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am scenario.”

  “No wham-bam? Do you really think that’s possible?” The dimple in his cheek was a serious clue to the laughter building like a water spout inside him.

  Her gaze zeroed in on that dimple, thanking every higher being she could imagine for his sense of humor. She knew she’d have to focus really hard to keep her misbehaving hands off his body. But she wouldn’t let Jake know that. Her heart had already been severely dented by an anti-diaper ex-fiancé and she wasn’t about to leave herself open to more heartache.