“As a friend,” he added. “I’m not expecting you to welcome me back into your life. I just thought I could help you finish your garden.”
Erin knew how confusing friendship could become. She’d already been down that road with Jake and it hadn’t worked out. “As long as you don’t get any ideas about where this might lead, you’re welcome to come back. I’ll be starting about five thirty, so come any time after that.”
“See you soon.”
The front gate banged on its hinges as Matthew left. What had she gotten herself into now?
***
Two nights later, Matthew wasn’t the only one who turned up to help. Nicky arrived and nearly gagged when she saw him standing in the garden.
Pulling Erin to the front of the house, she hissed, “What’s he doing here?”
“I know, I know. Call me dense, but he offered to help. And before you begin to think we’re getting back together – we’re not. He’s just helping me out as a friend, that’s all.”
“Friends?” she shrieked. “How can you be friends with the jerk? He ditched you before your wedding. I can’t believe you’d even consider talking to him, let alone shovel dirt like old friends.” Nicky glared at her. “This isn’t a rebound thing because of Jake is it?”
“Of course not.”
Nicky gave her a long stare.
Erin poked her tongue out and they both giggled. “Are you going to give us a hand or not? I’ve got fresh strawberries and cream for dessert.”
“As long as I can pass on the cream, I’m in. I’ve got a wedding dress I need to squeeze into.”
They walked back around the house, grabbing a spade each on the way through.
Nicky moved toward Matthew.
He looked up from the ground and winced. “Nicky.”
“Hi.” With a bland look that wasn’t quite friendly, she added, “Long time, no see.”
He pushed his shovel into the ground. “Congratulations on your engagement. Sam’s a lucky guy.”
Nicky gave him a sharp glare. “Thanks. We’ve got most of the planning done. It’s just a matter of waiting out the last month before the big day.” With an innocent expression on her face, she added, “Oh, that’s right. You know all about the last month before a wedding. You’ve been there before.”
Erin’s mouth dropped open. “Stop that and start digging.” Passing a pair of gloves across to Nicky, she pointed down the next row between her and Matthew.
Over the next hour, Erin tried to keep the mood light and friendly, but Matthew and Nicky kept sniping at each other from opposite ends of the garden. By the time they’d finished planting the last shrub, she’d used up every scrap of patience she could muster.
Matthew wisely decided not to have dessert.
After seeing him out the front door, Erin wasn’t in any hurry to get back to the kitchen. She had a disturbing feeling she was about to be on the receiving end of one of Nicky’s friendly chats about life and love in the twenty-first century.
***
Jake closed another file on his laptop and stared out of his dining room window. Bringing work home hadn’t been a brilliant idea. The only thing he’d managed to do was give himself a headache from peering at the screen for too long.
Over the last few weeks, he hadn’t slept much. When he did, he kept thinking about all the things he’d said to Erin on their last day together. He was an idiot for laying all his crappy behavior at her feet. And he felt as guilty as hell about how he’d acted with his family.
After the way he’d behaved at the camp, Erin would think he had a chip the size of a tree trunk on his shoulder. Sometimes he thought he did.
The doorbell rang, jarring his thoughts back to the present. He raced down the stairs, unlocking the wooden door. He held his breath, releasing it slowly when he saw the woman standing in front of him. “Hi, mom. Come in.”
Holding a basket of muffins in her hands, Rosemary walked up the stairs and through to the kitchen. “Don’t look so disappointed, Jake. It’s not every day I come here with hot blueberry muffins.” She frowned at him as he followed her across to the kitchen counter. “Lucy said you’re feeling a bit down, so I thought some home baking might make you feel better.”
He swallowed the lump in his throat. Muffins were almost as good as the band-aids she used to dish out for cuts and grazes when he was a boy.
“How are you?” she asked.
“I’m okay. You shouldn’t listen to Lucy. She worries about everyone.” He plugged in the kettle and grabbed a couple of mugs out of the pantry. Sometimes he wished he had half a dozen brothers and sisters to keep his mom and Lucy out of his non-existent personal life.
With Scott living in his own apartment, his mom had been looking for someone to rescue. And he had a suspicion that he was at the top of her list. But if she really wanted to help someone she needed to look more closely at Lucy. If he thought his love life had taken a serious nose dive, then Lucy’s had hit Antarctica and wasn’t heading north anytime soon.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“Not at the moment.” He grabbed the milk out of the fridge. “The muffins smell great.”
His mom leveled him with a no-nonsense stare. “I’m here if you need someone to talk to.”
“Thanks, mom. How was your dinner with Scott and Cindy?”
A smile spread across Rosemary’s face. “Scott’s pie was wonderful. He even made an extra lemon cake for me to take home. I don’t know where we’d be right now if you hadn’t stepped in to help, Jake. You were right. Cindy’s a lovely woman. They’re coming over for dinner soon and Scott calls me every day to let me know he’s okay.”
“I’m glad.” He moved across the room with two steaming mugs of coffee in his hands and sat down beside his mom. Taking a sip of his drink, he reached for a muffin. “Mom, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking.” He cleared his throat, trying to find the words he wanted to say. “I’m sorry I left you and dad to look after Scott. And I’m sorry I didn’t come back to the ranch after dad died.” He fiddled with his muffin. “I let you down.”
“Oh, Jake.” Rosemary stood up and wrapped her arms around his shoulders. “Honey, you were seventeen-years-old when you left home. Not much more than a boy yourself. When you told us you wanted to be a lawyer we couldn’t have been happier. Your dad and I knew your heart wasn’t in the land.”
“I still feel bad. I could have made everyone’s life a lot easier by staying here.”
“And I could have made everyone’s life easier by letting Scott shine all by himself, instead of trying to do everything for him.”
Jake wrapped his arms around his mom’s waist and held her tight.
Rosemary kissed the top of his head. “Look at all the good work you’re doing for the kids at camp. And you’re here now, helping all of us find our feet. I’m proud of the man you’ve grown into. You’ve got nothing to be sorry for, honey.” Rosemary sniffed. “Now I’m getting all teary-eyed.”
“I can recommend the muffins, mom.” He grinned at the smile on her face.
Giving him a final squeeze, Rosemary sat down and finished her coffee.
After his mom had left, Jake went for a long walk, thinking about what had been going on in his life. Scott and their mom had taken giant leaps of faith in each other. Lucy and Ethan were the happiest they’d been in years. Even his job was working out better than he’d thought it would.
But he needed to make a few changes. Erin was right. He couldn’t change what had happened in his past, but he was able to do something about his future. And that future included her.
He just hoped like crazy that she’d be prepared to give him another chance. A chance he didn’t deserve.
He looked down at his watch. He’d leave it until later in the evening to give her a call. Right now he needed to get ready for Ethan’s birthday party. If hitting the big time with a group of sugar-loaded six and seven-year-olds couldn’t distract him from the mess he’d created, then nothing el
se would.
***
Erin glanced around the food court, then took another sip of her hot chocolate. She didn’t know why she’d agreed to see a movie with Matthew. They’d finished her garden weeks ago, but in between Nicky’s wedding plans and work, he kept appearing in her life. They hadn’t even made it into the theater and she already regretted the spur-of-the-moment decision to see a movie with him.
Matthew cleared his throat. She knew that sound. It meant he had something important to say and she really didn’t want to hear it. She jumped into the conversation before he could utter a single word. “What kind of a day did you have?” She cringed. Surely she could have come up with something a bit more riveting than a step above, ‘how’s the weather?’
One look from Matthew told her he’d cottoned on to her diversion tactics.
She sighed. That’s what you got after practically living with someone for a year.
Matthew cleared his throat. Again. Didn’t he know how annoying that habit was?
Fidgeting with the napkin in front of him, he quickly glanced at her. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner about not wanting to have kids.”
Erin scowled. He’d had a major tantrum when he’d seen the baby clothes she’d packed away. Walking out on a twelve-month relationship because diapers and baby formula weren’t his thing, was one of the lamest excuses she’d ever heard.
Matthew continued on a little warily. “I’ve done quite a bit of thinking over the last few months. I missed you when I went to Seattle.”
Erin looked at him, hoping this conversation wasn’t going where she thought it was.
Sensing none of her mounting distress, Matthew kept talking. “I still love you,” he blurted out. “I want us to get back together. If you want to have children, then that’s fine by me.”
He looked at her expectantly. Erin wanted to disappear under the table. Her brain went into hibernation mode. She knew exactly what she needed to say, and it didn’t bode well for the movies.
How did you tell someone you once loved that you didn’t want to get back together with them? Taking a deep breath, she decided that being honest with him would be her best option. And maybe, if she’d been more up front with him earlier on, this conversation would never have taken place.
She took a sip of her hot chocolate, wincing at the bittersweet liquid in the bottom of her cup. “The thing is, Matthew. I don’t love you anymore.”
His faced dropped. “Are you sure?”
She nodded. Not so long ago she’d loved this man more than anyone else in the world. She’d wanted to spend the rest of her life with him. After their engagement ended, she’d been devastated.
And now here they were. He’d just offered her marriage and babies, everything she’d ever wanted. It should have been a dream come true, but it wasn’t. In fact, the whole evening had turned into one big nightmare.
Saying no to him could mean giving away her last chance of being someone’s mom. But she knew she couldn’t marry him. A certain six-foot-five, handsome-as-you-please lawyer had captured her heart and pulverized it to a pulp.
She knew that spending time with Jake, even if it meant not having children or getting married, would be better than getting back together with her ex-fiancé.
Now that was a sobering thought.
Her heart sank. Maybe she’d left it too late to be a part of Jake’s life. He didn’t want marriage or babies. But did he still want her?
“I’m sorry, Matthew. It’s over between us.” She didn’t know what to do. Did she thank him for thinking of her? Did she wish him well in finding someone else to have a happy life with? Or did she just stand up and walk away?
“Erin, Erin.” High pitched squeals sounded across the food court as Ethan come hurtling toward her. “It’s my birthday. I’m seven.” He skidded to a halt beside their table.
She smiled at his cheeky grin. “Happy birthday.” Three other boys followed close behind him. “Have you guys been to the movies?” A row of heads started nodding. Everyone started talking at once about the movie they’d just seen.
The four-way conversation skipping between the boys left Erin’s head spinning. Apparently, Tim, the mechanical wonder kid, had invented a machine that made small machines come to life. Ethan thought it was a super-cool idea. If the reaction from his little buddies was anything to go by, their parents had better guard their cameras, hairdryers, and toasters with care.
Lucy appeared behind Ethan. “Have you managed to survive the ambush?” She laughed.
“I’ve got the easy job. It looks like I’m a two-second diversion between the movie and home.”
The smile on Erin’s face disappeared when she saw who was standing behind Lucy. Jake. Her heart slammed into her ribs as she looked up his long, lean body, into a face set like stone. His gaze burned hard and hot into her face.
Nodding in her direction, he said, “Erin.”
She looked at him, utterly confused. She’d never seen him so annoyed. She went through their last conversation in her head. Maybe he couldn’t get pass her calling him selfish and irresponsible? She didn’t blame him. She’d lashed out with her tongue and her temper, and regretted every word she’d said.
“Are you going to introduce your friend?” Jake asked.
Looking at Jake, she knew she wouldn’t introduce him to her worst enemy at the moment. His arms were braced on his hips and the glare he shot Matthew would have curdled fresh milk.
Matthew stood beside her and extended his arm. “I’m Matthew Sullivan. A…friend of Erin’s.”
Her gaze swung to Matthew. The pause had been deliberate.
Holding her breath, she looked between the two men. Jake’s arm slowly came forward. He shook Matthew’s hand in a grip that made her wince.
Both men were no slouch in the physical department. They stood eyeball to eyeball, watching each other like roosters waiting for dawn.
Ethan tugged on her sleeve. “Who’s that?” He pointed to Matthew.
“This is Mr. Sullivan. He’s just moved back to live in Bozeman.”
“Have you come to see a movie too?”
She could have leaped out of her chair and hugged Ethan senseless. Any excuse to get Jake and Matthew away from each other had to be a good one. She grabbed onto the movie scenario and held firm. Two minutes ago she’d been going to ditch the movie altogether, but not anymore.
“Yes. We’re going to the movies. Nice seeing you again, Lucy.” She looked across at her one-time heartthrob. He still looked as though he wanted to do serious bodily harm to Matthew.
She gave Ethan a hug. “Have a great birthday. I’ll see you next week at the library.”
Grabbing her purse in one hand, she pushed Matthew away from Jake with the other. Before they were two steps away from the table, Matthew slung his arm over her shoulders. The hairs on the back of her neck rose as Jake growled behind her.
This wasn’t the kind of reunion she’d had in mind when she thought about her man of steel. Walking quickly toward the theater, she mumbled, “Matthew Sullivan, get that arm off my body now or I swear it’s the last movement that shoulder socket ever makes.”
She was angry. More than angry. Two prehistoric males were playing with her future. It wasn’t a competition to see which one had the most testosterone between their ears.
She hadn’t come to the theater looking for a confrontation. She’d come to enjoy a movie, not ruin any chance of apologizing to Jake for what she’d said at camp. He wouldn’t want to talk with her after Matthew’s not so subtle display of togetherness.
If it hadn’t been for Matthew stopping in front of the movie theater, she would have marched straight on past.
“Is he the reason you don’t want to get back together?”
Matthew looked annoyed. But more than that, he looked hurt.
“I’m sorry,” she said quietly. “I met Jake a couple of months ago. We broke up. I guess you got the tail end of his anger back there.”
A
resigned look slipped across his face. “That wasn’t anger.”
“What do you mean, it wasn’t anger? He looked like he was ready to rip your head off and feed it to the ducks outside.”
Reaching across, Matthew gently kissed her cheek. “You need to work that out for yourself. I’m sorry you don’t want to get back together with me.” He brushed a strand of hair back from her face. “Have a good life.”
He left her in the corridor, disappearing out of her life almost as fast as he had a year ago. Sitting down heavily on a seat, she could have dropped her head to her hands and wept.
She must have been dense not to realize Matthew had been coming around for more than a helping hand with the garden. More than a quick cup of coffee over the weekend. There had to be a rule somewhere that said any woman past the ripe old age of twenty-eight should have developed a sixth sense into the workings of the male brain. Even a tiny bit of intelligence would have gone a long way to cutting off his declaration of love.
Nicky had warned her of his ulterior motives, but had she listened? No.
She allowed herself another few minutes to wallow in self-pity before heading to her car. Pulling into the evening traffic, she drove out of the parking lot. She didn’t know where she was going, didn’t have a clue what she was going to do. An ambulance roared past, lights and sirens blazing.
Erin pulled over and wiped the tears off her face. She thought about her parents and the love they’d shared. She thought about the lessons they’d taught her, and the person she’d become.
Sucking up what courage she possessed, she knew there was one last thing she had to do before she went home. She wasn’t looking forward to seeing Jake. But she knew if she didn’t at least try, she’d regret it for the rest of her life.
She drove toward his house. Her palms slipped against the steering wheel and her dinner started doing cartwheels inside her stomach. She slowed down when she got closer to his home.
Sitting in her car, she thought about what she would say. A part of her wanted to turn around and hightail it back home. But a bigger part knew she had to get out of the car and face him.
Forever Wishes (Montana Brides, Book 4) Page 12
