Indebted Heart

by Measha Stone

  "Love?" Alyssa chuckled. "Don't get all mushy on me."

  "Tell me you don't see it when he looks at you." Kelly pressed on. "Like he wants to devour you! Royce looked at Jessica the same way and I hated her for it."

  "Please. Kendrick gives you the same look, and sometimes I wonder if he'll wait to leave before pouncing on you."

  "That's not love, Jess, that's when he's pissed and his palms are itching to get me alone." Kelly laughed as she hopped down from the stool. "The poor man still thinks he can tame me."

  Jessica rolled her eyes and shook her head. "He already has," Jessica whispered to Alyssa.

  "I'm glad that you moved here," Jessica told Alyssa. "I knew Alex had feelings for me that went beyond what I could give him, but he never pressed the issue because he knew I didn't share them. He's a great guy. He'd never let anything bad happen to you. And I'm really glad to know that you're both on the same page with the whole dominant thing. Once I realized what it was, and Royce pointed out Alex's dominant traits to me, I finally understood why his previous relationships blew up."

  "Oh, you mean that Suzy what's her face?" Kelly looked at Alyssa as she explained. "That woman had him in knots. Breaking up with him, then not, then moving out, then changing her mind. It took him a good seven months to get her out of the apartment. They weren't even together at that point. But Alex was too nice to kick her out."

  "So, he'll let just anyone live with him." Alyssa mused out loud, half joking. He'd taken her in quite easily, and every time he caught her looking at the for rent ads, he quickly shut off the computer and distracted her with a mind blowing kiss, that led to body quivering orgasms.

  "No." Jessica stated with firm conviction. "Absolutely not. Suzy was his distraction. His way of trying to fit into a vanilla world that he doesn't belong in."

  "We haven't really talked about his previous relationships."

  "There weren't really any, except for her. And like I said she was a distraction." Jessica rested her hand on top of Alyssa’s. "I have never seen him so happy. Truly. The man oozes it. Even Royce notices it. He told me that if Alex had ever looked at me the way he looks at you, he would have had to beat him down."

  "Royce?" Kelly chuckled. "I can't see him rolling up his suit sleeves and getting into a brawl. Now Kendrick… he could take Alex."

  Alyssa rolled her eyes and laughed along with the girls. It was nice to have such a release, real friends to talk with. But they weren't her friends, she realized solemnly. They were Alex's friends. Everything around her was Alex's. His apartment, his money, his friends. Nothing was really hers. She was still living off of someone else, taking charity when she didn't want or need it.

  "Well, either way. Alex may have had some serious feelings for me, but he didn't love me. Not like he loves you."

  The doorbell rang and Alyssa jumped off her stool, offering to get it. Kelly called after her that she already paid for the pizza just as Alyssa made it into the front hall.

  Love? How could Alex love her? She was a charity case. Sure they had really great sex, and she was becoming used to his dominant ways, and she even felt more secure in her own submission to him. But love?

  Alyssa swung open the front door ready to accept the pizza only to find Stephen standing in the hallway with an irritated expression. "Stephen? What are you doing here?" she asked looking past him down the hall. The pizza should have arrived already.

  "You didn't show for your shift, and I was worried," he said. His eyes wafted down her body, and he raised an eyebrow. "You don't look sick."

  "I'm not." She held firmly to the door, hoping he wouldn't try to walk in. "My shift was cancelled. I don't want to be rude, but I have some friends over and…"

  "Alyssa, what's taking so… oh." Kelly's voice trailed off as she entered the hall and found them. "No pizza?"

  "No. I'm afraid not." Stephen gave her a dazzling smile. The same smile she'd fawned over once. A deep dimple appeared on his right cheek. "Hi, I'm Stephen." He stepped past Alyssa and moved into the apartment. "An old friend of Ally's."

  "Oh. Well. Uh. Hi." Kelly's expression told Alyssa that she wasn't quite sure what to do at the moment. Alyssa sighed heavily.

  "Stephen, this is Kelly. Kelly, I know Stephen from Missouri."

  "Ah." Kelly nodded.

  "He's not staying," Alyssa said more for his benefit than for Kelly's.

  "Okay, well. I'll just open another bottle of wine. The pizza should be here any second." Kelly gave Stephan a cursory glance. "It was nice meeting you." She gave a curt nod and hurried back to the kitchen.

  "Alley cat-"

  "Don't call me that." Her anger was barely contained as she told him not to call her that ever again. "How did you even know where to find me? This has to stop. We've been friends for over two years and never have you been jealous of a guy I dated."

  "You haven't dated anyone since me," he pointed out. He raked his hands through his short brown hair and let out a long breath. "You've only played casually. Never full time. I thought you didn't want the 24/7 thing, but now that I know you do, we can give it another try."

  "Stephen. We've been over this. You and I are just friends, and I really would rather keep it that way." The bell rang, and she reopened the door. The pizza guy stood with a large grin and an extra-large cheese pizza. "I think it's best that you go." She nodded toward the hall.

  "Uh, cheese pizza?" The delivery guy fidgeted in the doorway. Alyssa took the pizza from him with a forced smile. "Everything's been paid for, have a great night." He gave Stephen an awkward glance before turning and heading back to the elevator.

  "Stephen?" Alyssa nodded to the open door.

  "Do you love him?"

  "Stephen."

  "Do you love him? Because you know damn well you can't love him. You can't do love, remember? Love is temporary, that's what you always told me."

  "I was young and stupid when I said that." She readjusted the pizza in her hands. The heat from the box was becoming uncomfortable in her grip. "Stephen, please. Is this why you came up to Chicago? You wanted to get me back?"

  "I thought we could start over. A new town, a new life."

  "Stephen. We can never be more than friends." She said with as stern of a voice as she could muster.

  "Okay. Okay." He threw his hands up in the air. "I know you're in the middle of a girls' night. Which is weird for you, but okay, I get it, trying new things. I'll go. We can talk later." She managed to dodge him as he leaned in for a kiss, but nearly dumped the pizza on the floor in the process. "I'll see you soon." He said and walked out of the door. She kicked it closed and took a deep breath.

  What was with him? Why couldn't he understand that she was moving on with her life, and it didn't mean that she wanted to move on with him in it. He had never expressed anything more than friendly intentions after they broke up. Hell, he hadn't even come to her mother's funeral.

  "Uh, Alyssa?" Jessica's voice broke her moment of concentration. She looked up to see a stricken look on her expression, Alex’s house phone in her hand.

  "It's Paul. He's in the hospital."

  Chapter Twenty-eight

  Alex ran past baggage claim and headed straight out the doors toward the line of taxis. He had been able to catch the redeye out of Denver and home within a matter of hours. The stench of burning gasoline and motor oil surrounded him as he bee-lined for the first cab he saw. Heavy humidity didn't faze him. He didn't even notice it in his panic to get to the hospital.

  Alyssa's phone call telling him about his father had nearly stopped his heart. She tried to assure him that his father was okay, but until he saw for himself he wouldn't calm down. He cursed himself for the dozenth time for not pushing his father harder about the doctor. Alyssa had managed to get him to make an appointment, but Paul's doctor was on vacation for a few weeks and he refused to see anyone else within the practice.

  Nearly knocking over an orderly, Alex made his way through the Sherman Hospital's emergency room department. He
pulled up short just as he heard Alyssa's laugh. The soft gentle sound eased his worry immediately, and he managed to walk into his father's room with most of his breath recovered.

  "Alex!" Alyssa leapt up from her chair at his appearance. He knew he looked ragged. In his haste to make it to the airport he'd grabbed whatever clothes he reached for. He wasn't entirely sure his shirt was clean. He'd been dragging his hand through his hair for the last three hours so often that he was sure the short curls were puffed up into a neat frizz ball by now.

  "I told you not to bother him with this," Paul said in a gruff voice. He would have looked more menacing if the oxygen tube hadn't been dangling from his nose.

  "You told me after I called him." Alyssa placated him as she walked to Alex. "He's okay. See?" She rubbed his back. The sensation of her hand on him soothed him. His racing heart slowed and his breath came easier.

  "What the hell happened?" Alex demanded of his father.

  "Don't use that tone of voice with me." Paul pointed then sat up slightly as a bout of coughs hit him. Alyssa rushed to his side and helped straighten the tube once he had finished and lay back on the pillow.

  "They are doing more tests. He had trouble breathing, the cough took a lot out of him and he couldn't catch his breath." Alyssa explained from the chair beside his father's bed.

  "Tests for what?" Alex walked to the other side of the bed. "What do they think it is?"

  "Emphysema." Paul answered with a hand waving in the air. "I'm not dead yet. Don't talk about me like I'm not here."

  "You're not going to die," Alex stated bluntly. He simply wouldn't allow it. He'd fly in specialists from where ever he needed to in order to help his father. He'd been helpless with his mother's illness, but he'd be damned if he'd sit by and watch his father give up.

  "No, I'm not." Paul nodded, placing his hand over Alex's. "I didn't mean to scare you. You shouldn't have left your meeting."

  "Don't worry about the meeting." Alex cut him off. "You haven't smoked since I was a kid. How can you have emphysema?"

  "Between all the crap I inhaled on the sites and the smoking, it was bound to happen. Remember George? He died a year ago from lung cancer. He never smoked a day in his life." That bit of information did little to ease Alex's worry.

  "The doctor was just here." Alyssa began. "He wants to admit him for at least a day. To get a few more tests in the morning. We should be able to take him home tomorrow afternoon."

  He looked her over and nodded. She looked worn out. Had she worked longer than her usual ten hours at the diner? Her hair had been swept up in a messy ponytail and her makeup had long been wiped off. But damn she was gorgeous.

  "So what do we do if it's emphysema?" He directed his question at his father who would most likely jump up to slap him if he talked around him again.

  "Medications. I think an inhaler of some sort. He said that if it's that, it's the beginning stages. There are worse things to have, son." Of course Paul would see it that way.

  "I know. Half full." Alex tried to smile. When he was a kid and he'd get upset about a situation that was completely out of his control Paul would remind him that he had a choice to make. Either the glass was half empty or it was half full. When he didn't make starting pitcher in little league Paul reminded him of the cliché and told him to make the choice. He'd chosen to be happy that he got to pitch now and then instead of not pitching at all. He knew his father was right. He could have a horrible terminal disease that would take him away from him within months, but the situation hardly called for celebration.

  "Well, now that you're here. I think I'll head home." Alyssa held onto Paul's hand and leaned over to press her lips to his forehead. Alex didn't miss the tenderness in his father's eyes at the endearing touch. "Early shift," she whispered to Paul. Alex heard her, and tensed but didn't want to argue with her. He'd made a few decisions while he'd been away, but it would have to wait before he could talk to her about them.

  "Go on, dear. I will be absolutely fine."

  "How are you getting home?" Alex asked as he walked with her from the room. "There's a hotel across the street, why don't you check in over there for us, and I'll be there once they get dad into a room upstairs." He cupped her elbow as they walked back toward the waiting room.

  "What about work in the morning?" she asked, and he took a long breath.

  "Call in. One day won't break you," he pointed out with a forced casual tone. She paused at the sliding doors and looked at him. He prepared himself for the resistance and excuses as to why she couldn't possibly. "Would it make it easier for you if I made it an order?" he asked with a hushed tone. His fingers brushed a stray hair from her lip. Just a slight touch and that was enough to awaken his desire for her. He hadn't touched her in almost a week and having her so close without so much as a quick peck on her cheek was driving him mad.

  "You don't need to do that," she answered him sweetly. "I'll call in."

  He looked at her with a narrow gaze. "Really?"

  "Yep." She grinned. "Surprised?"

  "Well. Yes." He let a soft chuckle escaped him as he slid one hand to cup her nape and pull her toward him. His lips brushed her teasingly before capturing them in an intense kiss. His tongue eased her lips apart and within a single breath they were lost in each other's embrace. She tasted better than his memory of her, and he wanted a hell of a lot more than a kiss. He broke the kiss, taking in her desire filled gaze. "I'm going to get Dad settled upstairs, then I'll come over. Text me the room number as soon as you get in."

  He reached into his back pocket and pulled out his wallet. He slid his credit card from the leather holder and handed it to her.

  "Will they let me use this?" She took the card with only a slight hesitation.

  "If they give you any trouble, call me. It's just a short walk, but I don't want you to walk. The walkway probably isn't lit. Let's get you into a cab."

  "I don't think there's cabs just hanging around." She stopped talking as they stepped out into the humid night to find a cab pulling up.

  Alex tried not to look too smug as he held the door for the woman exiting the taxi. Alyssa laughed as she slid inside. He reached back to his wallet again, but she shook her head. "It's fine. I have some money." Ignoring her, he thrust the money into her hands. "Thank you," she said softly and reached for her seatbelt.

  "Hopefully, I won't be too long. I need to be welcomed home properly." He gave her a wink and shut the door before she could respond. Once the cab pulled out of the drive and headed towards the hotel, he made his way back inside to his father.

  The doctor was in his father's room when Alex returned. "Oh, here he is." Paul waved a hand toward him and the doctor turned his attention to Alex.

  "Good. Hi. I'm Dr. Harenberg. They found a bed upstairs and will be moving him shortly. From what we could tell tonight it would appear he had an attack, almost like an asthma attack. He's doing much better now with a few breathing treatments and should be even better after a day or two of the prednisone I've prescribed. Tomorrow he'll have an echocardiogram of his heart and a pulmonary function test. Once we have those results we'll have a better idea of what we are dealing with."

  "Dad said you're thinking he has emphysema. What are we looking at here? Inhalers? Medications? Transplant?"

  "I think right now he's at the very beginning stages, so mostly medications and an inhaler for emergencies. He wouldn't be considered for a transplant just yet, but we will know more about treatment options in the morning."

  "Thank you." Alex clasped the doctor's hand in a firm handshake before turning his attention fully onto his father.

  "Did she go home?" Paul asked with a surly tone once the doctor had left.

  "No. She went across the street to the Hyatt to get us a room. We'll sleep there and then come back in the morning." Alex sunk himself into the chair Alyssa had been occupying. With the adrenaline of his scare fading, his body began to ache from the tension it had endured.

  "Good. I would have knoc
ked you on your ass if you'd let her go all the way back to the city tonight," his father chastised him. Alex looked over at him with disbelief. He'd flown home thinking his father was on death's' door and here he was glaring at him over something he hadn't even done.

  "Well, I didn't. So put your claws away." Alex rubbed his eyes and ignored his father's fake gasp of shock.

  "Here I am dying and you're being a smartass," Paul grumbled.

  "You're not dying." Alex's eyes flew open, and he shot his father a sincere look.

  "Okay." Paul held up his hands. "Sorry, bad joke." He waved his hand at him. "Just relax. We don't need to both be in here hooked up to machines and oxygen."

  Alex gave him a smile before taking a deep breath. "Don't scare me, old man." He shook his head. "I'm glad Alyssa was able to get here for you."

  "I tried to tell her not to come, but she's as stubborn as you." Paul managed a glare before another wave of coughing took over, rattling his chest. Alex watched helplessly as his father struggled to control the hacking and catch his breath.

  "She is stubborn, that's for sure." Alex rubbed Paul's back until his breathing was better managed and he lay back on the pillows.

  "Well, she's had to live on her own her whole life. I'm sure it's eating away at her staying with you."

  "I want her there." Alex said vehemently earning him a sly look from his father. He sighed. "She belongs there. With me." He said as he sat back in his chair. There was no point in sugarcoating it for his dad or himself. He wanted her in his life, in his home and in his bed every fucking day.

  "Have you told her that? Alyssa isn't used to people wanting to take care of her. She's not going to go along with it very easily."

  "I'm aware." Alex grunted, dragging his fingers through his hair again. "I've done everything other than disconnect the internet to keep her off the rental sites. I don't think she really wants to go. I think she feels like she's taking advantage."

  "Son, just tell her how you feel. She won't want to step one toe outside your apartment once you do. I saw the twinkle in her eye when she talked about you, and I saw the way her face lit up when you walked into the room. But you have to tell her. She doesn't know what love looks like. Not really." Paul took a ragged breath and Alex wasn't sure if it was from the memory of what Alyssa endured growing up or his medical condition.