Falling From Grace

by Alexx Andria

  “Are you okay?” he asked once they were in his Jeep and heading to his place.

  “I’m good. Just taking in the sights,” she lied.

  “It’s breathtaking,” he agreed easily, obviously proud of his new zip code and with good reason. This island made the prettiest places in L.A. look like landfills. “The first time I stepped off the ferry, all I did was stare. I mean, I was overwhelmed with the sights and smells and I think I fell in love. Oh, and if you look, chances are you’ll find an iguana hanging out on a tree because they’re everywhere.”

  “Iguanas? As in giant lizards?”

  “The very same. The babies are cute; the adult sized are…well, they poop everywhere.”

  She fake grimaced because it was gross but honestly, this place was so wonderful, she could forgive a little iguana poop. “I love it,” she told him, beaming. “I’m so glad you dragged me here.”

  “Wait until you see Larimar,” he said. “It’s probably the nicest resort on the island.”

  “And that’s where you stay?” she asked, confused. “Isn’t that expensive?”

  “Lindy and her family own Larimar. When I needed a place to stay, they offered up a bungalow for a really cheap rate. At first I figured I’d just stay temporarily until I got my own place but honestly, I never wanted to leave. Private beach, home-cooked meals and good company — it’s heaven on earth.”

  “That’s a pretty sweet deal,” she murmured in agreement as they pulled into the upscale resort and climbed from the Jeep. Wow. This was something else. Like something out of a movie, she thought as they walked into an airy lobby and Miles extended a breezy, familiar hello to the thin, pretty woman behind the counter.

  “Hello sweetness,” he said, pressing a quick kiss on the woman’s cheek. “Did I miss anything good?”

  “You’ve only been gone two days,” she reminded him then brightened saying, “Oh! But I think I’ve deciphered some of the twins’ secret language.” Her gaze shifted to Dani with curiosity. “And who’s your friend?”

  “My name’s Danielle St. Claire,” she answered, bypassing Miles and saving him from an awkward introduction. “You have a lovely resort.”

  “Thank you! We seem to think so, too. Will you be needing a room or will you be staying with Miles?”

  This time Miles answered, “She’ll be staying with me” but before the woman could ask more questions, he grinned and started walking again, forcing Dani to hurry and follow. They passed through double doors to a walkway behind the resort that lead to a series of detached bungalows and all Dani could do was stare in wonder.

  “Unfreaking-believable. You live in paradise.”

  “Yep.” Miles went to the last one and used his key. The door opened up to palm tree printed canvas and rattan furniture, big open windows that let in all that wonderful Caribbean air, and a sweet little kitchen with all the amenities.

  “Whoa. No wonder you never wanted to leave,” she said, wandering around, taking it all in. She probably should’ve waited until invited but she wanted to see every inch of his place and walked into his bedroom, gasping at the gorgeous California King bed with the mosquito netting draped along the four-poster frame. Oh heaven…why was it so easy to imagine doing terribly dirty things to each other on that bed? Tie me up, tie me down…her cheeks flared with heat and she turned away abruptly just as Miles followed her. She hustled away from him and poked her head into the master bathroom and actually squealed a little when she saw the open air shower. “Are you freaking kidding me?” she exclaimed, rushing to the beautiful shower and stepping inside. Climbing foliage created a sufficient wall to prevent prying eyes and the entire shower was made with natural stone that was smooth beneath her feet. “I am so showering in this amazing thing,” she told him without apology. “I’ve always dreamed of using an open air shower. Feels very Tarzan and Jane, you know?”

  He laughed and pulled her from the shower. “At first it feels weird but you get used to it,” he told her and they walked back to the bedroom area. It was then she realized it was a one-bedroom bungalow and she knew that was what he was going to address next. “Okay, so here’s the deal, I will take the couch and you can take the bed. So no worries about anything inappropriate going on.”

  “Who said I was worried?” she asked, almost coyly with a hint of playfulness to test the waters. He gave her a stern look and she nodded, dialing it back. “Thank you. I know how uncomfortable this must be for you.”

  “It’s…” he exhaled as if not quite sure how to respond. “It’s not that it’s uncomfortable but it’s a bit awkward. We haven’t been in the same room together, much less slept within the same twenty feet, in over a year and the last time we spoke, it wasn’t as if our break up was amicable.”

  “I know. That’s why I want you to know that I appreciate everything you’re doing. I really do.”

  He nodded and then shaking off the seriousness of the moment, brightened with a grin that did terrible things to her insides. Was he the most adorable man on the planet? “Ready for that burger I promised?”

  “God, yes. I’m starved.”

  “All right, let’s do it then. Drop your bags and let’s hit the town.”

  He didn’t have to ask her twice. At this point, she was ready to feel normal again, even if it meant ignoring every instinct telling her to beware…that way lies heartache.

  -6-

  After finishing the world's best burger just as Miles had promised, Dani was ready to see more of the island. She knew it wasn't a vacation but it was hard not to be completely taken in by the exotic locale. “I know I said I wanted to try to boiled bananas but I think I'm too full to stuff another thing in my mouth just yet so can we hit the beach and maybe work off some of this lunch?”

  “Sure,” he said, grinning. “Do we need to go back to my place to get your bathing suit?”

  “Nope, I'm going to buy a new one,” she decided. “I saw a cute little shop just around the corner. You mind if we pop in there so I can take a look?”

  “Lead the way. Far be it for me to get in the way of a woman shopping.”

  She squealed and did a little tap dance with her toes, more excited than she’d been in years. She was dangerously close to jumping up and hugging Miles but she held back the impulse, not wanting to ruin the moment. Miles paid the bill and they walked to the shop that she’d seen. Within moments she had a new bathing suit, a beach towel and even some sunscreen and they were ready to hit the beach.

  “The island isn't very big but it has some of the top beaches in the world,” Miles explained as they drove. “And because it’s the off-season, we should have the beaches to ourselves.”

  She smiled, ready to dunk herself in the water. “I can't wait.”

  Within the blink of an eye they were parking along the side of the road and picking through the dense undergrowth to get to the beach. Just as Miles had promised, the beach was empty. All she could do was stare in wonder. “This is amazing. Even in the off-season in Hawaii the beaches have people on them.”

  “Not here. Technically it's hurricane season. Not many people want to brave the potential weather.”

  “Hurricane weather?” She looked up at the blue skies. “If this is hurricane weather, I'll move here in a minute.”

  “The weather can change very quickly. But I've yet to be scared off by whatever weather has pummeled this island. We'll be fine.” He stripped off his shirt and Dani forgot what they were talking about. She hadn’t averted her eyes quickly enough and caught the glorious image of Miles’ perfect physique burned into her brain. Well, two could play that game, she mused with just a hint of wickedness. “Turn around,” she directed making a swirling motion with her finger. “Since there's no one here I’ll change right now.”

  Miles swallowed but nodded and quickly turned around to give her some privacy. She hoped he was thinking of her naked because she didn't want to be the only one suffering from scorching memories. She quickly donned her bikini and announced i
t was safe. Miles tried his hardest not to look affected but she could tell that he liked what he saw. She purposely picked a color she knew would bring out the golden tone of her skin and the keyhole bikini top gave a teasing glimpse of her cleavage. “What do you think?” she asked innocently.

  “I think you know what I think,” he growled but his eyes didn't quite leave her body. “I think you did that on purpose.”

  “Did what?” she asked.

  “Picked the skimpiest bikini on the rack.”

  A slow, shy smile found her lips. “And if I did?”

  “I think you like playing dangerous games,” he answered and she wondered if his fingers itched to touch her. God she hoped so. She took a brave step forward, closing the distance between them. “What are you doing?” he asked softly. “You know this is a bad idea.” And yet he didn’t immediately stuff some space between them. If anything his entire body appeared drawn taut and ready.

  “Do I?” She looped her arms around his neck, pressing her body against his. “Does this feel bad?”

  “Depends on your definition of bad.” His arms tightened around her drawing her close. He stared down at her, losing himself for just a moment in her gaze. “Jesus, Dani, what are you doing to me?”

  “The same thing that you do to me,” she admitted in a breathless whisper before sealing her mouth to his for a kiss that electrified every nerve ending and sent her brain scuttling for shelter. His tongue gently met hers in an exploratory journey that was both reluctant and urgent as if he were fighting his own desire and that was just fine with her because she understood his dual tendencies and matched it with her own. “I’ve missed you, Miles,” she said against his mouth, fighting the tears that immediately sprung to her eyes. His grip tightened and a small groan escaped as she felt the hardened ridge of his cock pressing against her groin, igniting a small fire inside her belly. Her hand crept into the lazy waves of his hair and caught a grip, drawing him even nearer to her. She wanted to devour him, to make him a part of her so she’d never feel alone again. Their kiss changed in tempo and went from gentle to urgent and Dani lost all sense of reason. She wanted to feel him inside her, to know his touch again, and no amount of good sense was going to intrude on her most ardent desire. With her free hand, she found his cock and rubbed it through his board shorts, delighting in the familiar feel of his cock against her palm. It was as if time hadn’t passed and they were as they’d always been, except that tingling sense of discovery was still there. Their tongues danced, sliding along each other, tasting and teasing in a sensual tango that fired her blood and served as a stark reminder that every moment without Miles had been lacking in soul. But too soon, Miles began to put on the brakes, slowing his sensual attack until finally, they were apart, both breathing heavily and wondering what the next step would be between them. Dani could only hope that he would sweep her up in his arms and make love to her the way he used to but she knew in her heart of hearts that she was hoping for the impossible.

  “Dani…” he said, releasing her and taking a step back, his expression haunted. “We shouldn’t…”

  She bit her lip, holding back her sharp disappointment but managed to nod in false agreement. “You’re right. I’m sorry…”

  “It’s okay,” he said, hands on hips as he tried to shake free from the sexual haze between them. “It’s the heat…short circuits the brain.” He took a moment before asking, “We good?”

  “Yeah, of course,” she assured him with a shaky smile then, because she wanted to run away and cry, grabbed her beach towel and sprinted for the water. No, it wasn’t okay. It’d never be okay without Miles. And he wouldn’t take her back if she were the last person on earth. She was a broken toy — mangled and abused — without any hope of being whole again. Of course he didn’t think it was wise to hook up with her. Jesus Christ…who would? Without waiting to see if he followed, she dropped the towel in the sand and then dove into the gentle surf.

  Maybe with any luck she’d drown.

  #

  Miles watched Dani dive into the water and swim with strong, solid strokes away from him and he knew in his soul that she was hurting inside. He’d rejected her. Was there any worse humiliation? If only he could tell her that pushing her away was the hardest thing he’d ever done in his life, maybe it would lessen the sting. His cock began to soften when it realized nothing was going to happen but he could still feel the lingering aftereffects of that intense attraction between him and Dani. He squinted against the sun. How far was she planning to swim? To Saint Croix? He walked to the edge of the water and a growing sense of disquiet replaced his internal struggle. She was swimming too far out. Dani was a strong swimmer but her body was still recovering from her abuse. She was likely still dehydrated and her muscles were going to cramp from the unexpected exertion. “Damn it, Dani,” he muttered, tossing his towel next to hers and wading into the surf to strike out after her. She was pushing hard and still too far ahead to hear him if he shouted so he pushed himself even harder to catch up. Suddenly Dani cried out and stopped, bobbing underwater and his heart stuttered with fear. She swallowed water and came up sputtering and he knew she was cramping. “Hold on Dani, I’m coming!” Pulling on reserves, he swam hard to reach her before she went under again and just as she slipped under the waves, he grabbed her by the waist and drew her to him, “On your back,” he managed to bit out between heavy breaths. She rolled to her back and he tucked her into a lifesaving pose before swimming back to shore. By the time they’d reached the beach, they both collapsed on the soft sand and Miles was thankful for all those years spent on competitive swim teams in college. “What were you thinking?” he asked when he could breath again. He rolled to his side and sat up but Dani remained on her back, eyes closed and shoulders shaking as tears leaked from her lids. “Dani?”

  “Go away, Miles,” she cried softly, rolling away from him but he stopped her with a gentle hand. She returned to her back and stared up at him with stark anguish. “You should’ve just let me go under.”

  “What the hell are you talking about?” he asked, unable to fathom what Dani was saying. Had she just tried to kill herself? “What were you thinking?”

  “What was I thinking? I was thinking that I couldn’t feel more like the sludge at the bottom of a barf bucket and I was ready to stop feeling that way.” She sat up and wiped her tears away. “Miles, I know I screwed up. I screwed up so bad I don’t even know how to make amends and I’m not just talking about what happened with you. I shot to the top and I’m plummeting just as fast to the bottom. You think I don’t know that? Yeah, well, I know it.” She drew a halting breath. “I’ve become a liability. I don’t know how it happened but it happened fast.”

  “I think your first problem is that Raina character,” he said, settling beside her and looping his arms around his knees. “So, I’d suggest ditching her as soon as possible.”

  She nodded glumly. “Yeah, probably so.”

  “No probably about it.” He hated how bereft and lost she looked. The fact that she was hurting because of their past put him in a difficult spot. He was trying to smother the wild attraction he felt between them because he knew it was unhealthy but he wanted nothing more than to take her into his arms and show her exactly how much he’d missed her. “And you know what? That’s all in the past. Today is about moving forward.” He lifted her chin gently. “Please don’t scare me like that again, okay?” She nodded and a tear leaked from the corner of her eye. He wiped it away and, because he couldn’t seem to help himself, leaned forward and brushed his lips across hers. “See? Nothing’s so bad that you have to check out before your time.”

  “Okay,” she said softly.

  “Let’s get out of here.”

  Dani wiped her eyes and let him help her up. As they walked to the Jeep, Miles realized that for a wild, scary second, he’d been afraid that he wouldn’t reach Dani in time and it’d been that fear that’d pushed that last bit of adrenaline into his muscles.

 
A world without Dani…hell, that just wasn’t a world he wanted to live in.

  So what did that mean?

  The answer was clear enough but he wasn’t ready to admit it.

  Not yet.

  Maybe not ever.

  -7-

  Dani spent a sleepless night, tossing and turning on the large bed, too distracted by the knowledge that Miles slept on the sofa in the other room to fall asleep. Too many questions swirled in her head, mixing with the hurt feelings and sadness of loss to allow any real sleep so when the first rays of sunshine finally broke through the window, she eagerly rose and padded into the kitchen. Miles, sprawled like an oversized kid on the cozy sofa, made her smile softly. He was the most handsome man she’d ever laid eyes on and that hadn’t changed. The first time they’d met she’d known a sizzle unlike anything she’d ever experienced and she’d known, right at that moment, that Miles Lassiter had the power to break her heart. She’d never imagined that she would be the one to do the breaking. And now, here he was, saving her. What were the odds of that? She opened the fridge and pulled the cartoon of eggs. She wasn’t a whiz in the kitchen but she wasn’t totally helpless either. It was a small thing, but she wanted to make him breakfast, perhaps as a thank you for being the great guy he was, even if he didn’t want her anymore. Tears burned under her lids but she held them back. No time for crying. Today was going to be a good day and a good day always started with breakfast, at least that’s what her dad used to say.

  Within a few minutes, she’d scrambled enough eggs for two, made toast and poured some orange juice. She went to the sofa and took a seat next to him, waving the plate of breakfast under his nose. His eyes opened groggily and before he awoke completely, there was something so sweet and unguarded about the way his lips curved, as if he were smiling from his heart and she couldn’t help but smile back. “I made you breakfast,” she said, lifting the plate. “It’s nothing fancy but it’ll stick to your ribs for a bit.”