Falling From Grace

by Alexx Andria

  “Do they always do that?” he asked.

  “Yes.” She glanced at him. “Freaked you out, huh?”

  “Yeah. I think it would freak out most people to have total strangers pop out of the bushes and start snapping pictures at you.”

  She sighed unhappily. “I wonder how they found me.”

  “Did you tell anyone where you were going?”

  “No,” she answered, troubled. “I have no idea how they find out these things. I think they have super human tracking skills.”

  “Or someone tracked your cell phone.”

  She frowned. “Can people do that?”

  “Legally? No. But is it possible? Yes.”

  Dani muttered an expletive. “Fan-freaking-tastic. That’s all I need. Those parasites tracking my every move.” She rose and went to the bedroom to get her phone where she’d left it and went to shut it off but noticed several missed calls from Raina. Against her better judgment she listened to her voicemail.

  “Girl, I’m freaking out. You haven’t taken any of my calls and I’m starting to worry about my girl. This isn’t like you. I’m the irresponsible one, remember? Okay, I’m going to take a risk and guess that you’re holed up somewhere awesome with that bossy cutie that was at your pad the other day and not dead in a ditch somewhere, and if so, you gotta get your behind back to town because I’ve got someone you have to meet. As in pronto. Call me for deets.”

  She clicked off and realized Miles was standing in the doorway. “Everything okay?”

  “Um, yeah,” she answered, vacillating on whether or not to tell Miles about Raina’s message. She chewed her lip in indecision until she finally decided to come clean. “It was Raina. She wants me to call her back.”

  “If I were you I’d lose her number. She’s no better than those parasite photographers.”

  Dani scowled. “She’s my friend.”

  “Some friend. Isn’t she the one who sent you home with that douche who tried to assault you? Yeah, with friends like that…you know the saying.”

  “She had no idea that that guy was going to pull that. It could’ve happened to anyone.”

  “No, it wouldn’t. It wouldn’t have happened to one of my friends because I wouldn’t send my drunk friend home with a strange man that I couldn’t vouch for.”

  She hated that she knew he was right but her ego was struggling to let go. It sucked to realize your judgment was so skewed when it came to friends. In her heart, she wanted to believe that Raina probably didn’t mean to be self-centered and shallow but that was just her nature and probably couldn’t fight it. Raina had some good qualities, too. And she was lots of fun. “She knows the right people,” Dani insisted. “And she’s been a good friend during all the transition after Judgment. She’s a good person.” Good God, how had she managed to say that with a straight face? Raina was not in the running for Humanitarian Of The Year. She’d once watched Raina taunt a homeless person with the promise of a hundred dollar bill just to see how low she could make them go for the money. It’d ceased to be funny almost immediately and definitely once Dani had realized that Raina had no intention of giving the guy the money. In the end, Dani had returned to the street corner by herself and given the guy some money just to assuage her guilt. “Okay, so she’s not Mother Teresa,” she said, irritated. “But she knows the right people and I just need to talk to her real quick. It could be important.”

  “Dani, this is what Lindy was talking about,” he persisted. “People like Raina are only going to drag you down. Cut her loose. I wouldn’t be surprised if it was Raina who found out where you were holed up and sent those piranhas after you.”

  “She wouldn’t do that,” Dani said, although she’d often wondered if Raina were the weak link in her chain. She lifted her chin, determined to hold her shaky ground. “You’re wrong. You don’t know Raina like I do.”

  “You’re right, I don’t know Raina, but I know plenty of people just like her. L.A. is filled with them — all looking for the next host — and honey, she’s latched real tight onto you. The fact that you can’t see her sucking you dry is sad.”

  “I don’t tell you how to be a doctor,” Dani shot back, stung by his comment. “I can pick my friends and hang out with whom I choose. Don’t tell me how to run my life.”

  “Yeah because you were doing such a bang-up job before this moment,” he returned caustically, causing her to blink back tears. “Have you forgotten how I found you? Stumbling around in a drunken stupor, possibly nearing alcohol poisoning while some creep you didn’t even know was trying to get into your pants? What would’ve happened if I hadn’t come along at precisely that moment? Have you thought of that?”

  “Of course I have,” she answered mulishly, hating him for bringing it up. “What’s your point?”

  “My point is your judgment is so out of whack right now you shouldn’t trust yourself to choose between white bread and wheat for your fucking sandwich.”

  Oh, that was rude. He wasn’t pulling his punches and things could get exponentially worse if she didn’t pull the plug right now. “Why are we fighting about this?” she asked, wiping at her eyes. “This is ridiculous. I’m not going to fight with you about who I can talk to. You’re not my dad, my manager, or even my boyfriend. So butt out!”

  A long, uncomfortable stand-off between them sucked the air out of the room and replaced it with angry tension until Miles threw his hands up in mock surrender and said, “You’re right. It’s your life. Fuck it up in grand fashion for all I care. I’m done.”

  “Fine.” Miles, please don’t go. I’m sorry. You’re right. Don’t you see that I’m a mess and I need you? If her brain had been in charge, she would’ve said that instead of, “Have fun running your own life for a change” and maybe things would’ve calmed down. But…yeah, clearly her brain wasn’t in charge.

  “Yep.” He grabbed a beach towel hanging on a chair and slammed out of the bungalow.

  “Shit,” she muttered, sinking onto the bed, staring at her phone. Why did she pick a fight with Miles? He wasn’t saying anything that she didn’t already suspect and frankly, if she were going to follow Lindy’s advice, it would definitely mean cutting Raina from her life for a while. Losing Raina didn’t fill her heart with dread but the idea of losing Miles again certainly did. Way to go, Einstein. Well, since she’d already screwed the pooch she might as well see what Raina was so fired up about.

  “There you are!” Raina exclaimed, the raucous sounds of a club making it almost impossible to hear. “Where the fuck are you? Did you fall off the map? Wait, hold on, Imma go outside. It’s loud as fuck in here.” A few seconds later, the noise subsided and Raina, said, “Ah, that’s better. Now, where are you? I was totally worried and then I was jealous because I just know you’re getting some of that hottie doctor action. Am I right?”

  Dani ignored Raina’s nosy question and said, “I’m fine. I’m just calling to let you know that I’m good so you don’t have to worry.” Like Raina was truly worried. Ha! The only thing that managed to get past Raina’s Botoxed face was the threat of running out of parties to frequent. “What’s up?”

  “Girl, the scene is not the same without you. Reynolds is all up in my grill asking about you every night. I’m like, dude, I’m not her freaking pimp. Chill! But you know, he’s got a thing for you so he keeps bugging me. As if I know your every move, right?” Reynolds. Ugh. A sudden queasiness crept into her gut and she realized with a small laugh that this was fucking ridiculous. “But seriously, where are you? Did you go to the freaking moon or something?”

  “Uh, no, just somewhere that Miles thought would be good to relax. I’m really great, though.”

  “Oh. Okay. Well, when you coming home? Oh, fair warning…I had a tiny get together at your pad. It got a little crazy — I’m totally never inviting Dezi over to anything ever again. He totally threw up in your bathtub. Gross, huh? Oh, and that beezy Jilly totally fucked in your bed. I mean, how rude, right? I would say never invite her
over again but her daddy has money for days and she’s always good for blow if you’re on the scene without any.”

  Raina speaking so casually of cocaine, raunchy sex in her bed, and thinking nothing of the fact that Raina had no right to invite people over to Dani’s house when she wasn’t there made everything suddenly so clear it was like watching her life through sheets of clear glass. “Raina, why did you throw a party in my house when I wasn’t home?”

  “Because a girl’s gotta get her freak on, right?” Raina said, laughing and totally missing the point. “Besides, I’m not the one who bailed. If you were here, you totally could’ve got some serious action. Let me just say — it was epic.” She giggled, adding, “Fourways are the new threeways.” And Dani suffered a pang of nausea realizing that Raina had had sex with who knows how many people in her house…probably in her bed, too. She rubbed at the sudden sharp pain between her brows as Raina continued to ramble about her escapades. “And then I said, bitch, who do you think you are? You get my sloppy seconds, not the other way around.”

  “Stop talking,” Dani said, surprising Raina into brief silence.

  “What? What did you just say?”

  “I said, for the love of God, please stop talking. Your voice is grating on my nerves and I’m already on edge.”

  “Fuck. You’re in a mood,” Raina said with a sulk in her voice. “Someone lost their sense of humor.”

  She wasn’t even going to waste energy arguing with Raina. Her monstrosity of a house — too big to ever consider a home — jumped to mind and she realized what she needed to do. “Get my house cleaned up,” she ordered Raina, shocking the woman with her authoritarian tone. “And I’m not paying for the cleaning service either. You threw the party, you clean the mess.”

  “Jesus, aren’t you getting laid?” Raina said. “I mean, damn. You’ve never gotten so butthurt before over a little gathering with friends. What’s the damage now?”

  “The damage? I don’t even know where to start but I’m going to start with that house. Get it cleaned. And I mean sparkling. Were you raised by wolves? You don’t throw a party in someone else’s house and then leave a fucking mess, you social disease.”

  “What the fuck did you just call me?”

  She laughed. “A social disease. Listen, this isn’t the first time you’ve fucked me over but it will be the last. Raina, I’ve come to the realization that you’re no friend. I don’t know why it took this long to figure it out.”

  “Excuse me? Who’s been introducing you to all the right people for the last six months? Yeah, that was me. Who held your hair when you barfed your guts out at Crimson? Yeah, me again. Sounds like a friend to me. Maybe you’re the one who hasn’t been a good friend.”

  “Spare me, Raina. If you’re going to rewrite history, at least be creative about it. You’ve been introducing me to people who only want to drag me down. Directors with dubious reputations and people who are obvious users. And that time you held my hair? You took a Snapchat while I threw my guts up! And then, when the picture ended up in the tabloids? I actually believed your lie that someone must’ve screenshot the snap. I don’t doubt that you were the one who gave the pic to the tabloids, not some random person in your contact list like you suggested.”

  “Well, well, aren’t we going all Nancy Drew with a splash of Goody Two Shoes. Bravo,” Raina shot back with enough acid fill a lake. “I can’t believe I wasted time worrying about your skank ass. Like I don’t have better things to do.”

  “Let’s be honest, Raina, your care and concern for me is directly proportional to what I can do for you.”

  Raina actually laughed and said, “Well, it was fun while it lasted. You should see half the pics I have on my phone of you when you were too trashed to notice. I held onto them for a rainy day and it seems to me that a storm is heading your way. I’m sure someone is willing to pay for these little gems. And for the record, bitch, you’re right it was me who called the paparazzi on your little love nest. Yeah, I know where you are and always do. I’ve made a pretty penny on your stupid ass. I get paid each time they snap a pic of your drunk face. How’s that feel, dumbass?”

  Any other time Dani might’ve been devastated but instead, she felt a weight lift from her shoulders and she laughed. “Well, good for you but this meal ticket just expired. And if you’re stupid enough to sell those pics…I will slap a lawsuit on you so fast it’ll make your head spin. By the time my lawyers are finished with you, you won’t own the thoughts in your vapid little head.” Chew on that, you little bitch. Dani was done with being blackmailed, used, and treated like shit by anyone, least of all a gold-digger opportunist like Raina. “Later.”

  Dani clicked off and started giggling. Unbelievable. How stupid had she been to think that Raina was a true friend? How blind? She grabbed her towel and headed for the beach. She had a few things to say to Miles — the biggest being an apology. She only hoped it wasn’t too late.

  -11-

  Miles was sitting in the sand watching the surf, his thoughts bouncing between morose and pissed off, when Dani plopped down beside him. “You lost?” he asked, not even bothering to sound less rude. He’d been a fool to let her into his heart again when he knew it wouldn’t work. He’d put himself in a craptastic spot and now he was screwed because he couldn’t live with her and certainly hated the idea of living without her.

  “Can we talk?”

  “About?”

  She took a deep breath. “Okay, I’ll let you have that one; I deserve it. I was a jerk when you were trying to help and I’m sorry.” She took a risk and looped her arm around his, leaning against his shoulder. The sudden contact shocked him and although he wouldn’t push her away, he remained guarded. She sighed against him, the sound heavy with reflection. “Miles…I’ve been wrestling with the feeling that leaving you was the biggest mistake of my life and not knowing how to deal with it. I’ll tell you, being pushed and pulled by your own thoughts is enough to make a person crazy.”

  Yeah, he could relate. He touched her hand lightly. “And what conclusion have you come to?”

  “That I still love you,” she answered simply, before asking in earnest, “How do you feel about that?”

  He exhaled a tight breath, wishing it were as simple as saying the words and traipsing into the sunset together. “I love you, too,” he said softly, grazing his knuckles against her tan skin. “But we’re both smart enough to know that love isn’t enough. Especially in a career like yours.”

  She nodded. “I know. But I wanted you to hear it from me. I never should’ve pushed you away. I should’ve trusted that you would help me with Richard. But I didn’t and here we are. Raina is out of my life, by the way,” she added. “She trashed my house and she admitted that she’s the one whose been selling me out to the tabloids.”

  “Worthless piece of crap,” he muttered. “I knew it.”

  “Yeah. Sucks to admit that your judgment was so off but facts are facts. And if I’m going to take Lindy’s advice, I’ve gotta stop living with blinders on just because I don’t like what I see.”

  He turned to regard her, surprised at the clear-headed statement. “You mean that?”

  “Yeah. I want to be taken seriously. I want a career like Lindy’s, one that includes Broadway shows and Oscar-award winning parts. I won’t get that by running around in the clubs. I see that now. I think it was fear that made me listen to someone like Raina because now that I’m not afraid anymore…she seems like a lunatic.”

  He laughed in spite of the gravity of the conversation. “Lunatic is a mild word for a woman like her but I agree and I’m glad to hear that you’re ready to grab onto your destiny. You deserve it, sweetheart. You really do.” He shifted in the sand to face Dani, gazing at her beautiful face, committing every nuance to memory because he felt a goodbye was coming. He’d done his part and helped her, just like Lindy had asked. Except he’d let his heart get involved – again. Whose fault was that? Only he could take responsibility for that one
. “You heading back to L.A.?”

  She nodded. “I think it’s a good idea to tie up loose ends. I want to put my house on the market — I never liked that fucking house anyway. Too big. — and I want to start looking for a place away from L.A. sort of like Lindy. She lives in the Bay and only flies into L.A. when she has to. I think that’s smart. Trying to preserve your sense of self while living in Los Angeles is like setting up shop near a toxic waste dump and not expecting to get radiation poisoning at some point…it’s just unrealistic. The circles are too incestuous and closed off to reality. I don’t want to get to the point where I believe my own bullshit and that happens when you have too many people telling you how great you are. There’s no sense of grounding and I feel human beings as a species need that.”

  “That’s a profound bit of wisdom,” he told her, very proud of her epiphany. “So where are you thinking of relocating? Maybe Big Bear Lake, up in the mountains or something,” he suggested.

  “No, reminds me too much of home and that makes me miss my dad. I’m thinking somewhere warm…somewhere laid back where the humidity is a killer and the boiled bananas are to die for. A place where one of the local doctors is too cute for words and a genuinely good guy with a heart big enough to fit the world inside.”

  He caught her gaze, unable to believe he’d heard correctly. “What do you mean? What are you saying?”

  She grasped his hand and pulled it to her mouth, brushing a sweet kiss across his knuckles as she smiled up at him. “I’m saying, Dr. Miles Lassiter…would you consider marrying me so we could buy a house here, something cute and not overly large but big enough to house the kids we might have someday?”

  The spit dried in his mouth and all he could do was stare. His heart beat faster and tears burned behind his eyes. “Please don’t toy with me, Dani,” he warned, hating that he sounded like a frightened little kid but hell, he couldn’t take a let down like this if she were joking. “Not about this.”

  She sobered and leaned forward, sealing her mouth to his. They kissed long and hard, tongues twining in an urgent exploration that fired his blood immediately and sparked a wild hunger to taste and possess. When they broke apart, she met his hungry stare and asked in a husky tone, “Did that feel like I was playing around?” He shook his head slowly and she grinned. “Can I take that as a yes, you’ll marry me?”