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“You’re acting like a leper and you’re not. You care about people. You just don’t want to admit it. You love Aedan. So stop acting like you’re the Devil.”
“I only want him to take you back so he’ll stop dating every slut out there. Do you know the last one had the gall to proposition me while he was in the bathroom?”
Natalya shook her head. “Shocking. I mean, who would want you when they could have Aedan?”
He growled, looking slightly disgruntled.
“Have you ever been in love?”
His face closed down. “Yes,” he admitted surprising her.
“What happened?”
His gaze was cold, detached, and she wondered what emotions he was hiding from her. “She thought it was all a game. That it would be like one of those mafia movies. She wanted me to intimidate and bully people so she could get what she wanted.”
“Wow, she sounds like a real catch. You seriously loved her?”
He shrugged. “Maybe love’s too strong a word. I really enjoyed fucking her, though.”
Natalya gaped at him for a long moment. Then he winked and she grinned, rolling her eyes.
Natalya hoped that one day he’d find a woman he could truly love. Rogan was a man who tried to take care of everyone around him, even though he’d deny that he cared. The woman he fell in love with would be the most protected in the city, but she would also have to teach him that there was a fine line between protective and smothering.
“Diego’s an asshole,” she blurted out.
“I have no doubt. What did he want?”
Natalya told him everything. “I can’t believe that he really doesn’t care about Mateo. It shouldn’t come as a surprise, but how can you not love your own son?”
“I don’t know, but plenty of parents seem to manage it.”
Had Rogan’s father been distant? She realized she didn’t know much about his life. When she’d been with Aedan before she hadn’t cared. All she’d seen was what Rogan did, not who he was.
She took another small sip of whiskey. She felt light-headed. Drinking on a nearly empty stomach was probably not the best idea, but the warmth that filled her was welcome. It felt like she’d been freezing since Mateo had been taken.
I wasn’t cold in Aedan’s arms.
“Where’s Aedan?” she asked, yawning.
“I’ll find him. Why don’t you lie back and go to sleep?”
“Can’t. I’ve got to tell Tanner what Diego said.” But the sofa looked awfully inviting. Maybe she’d just rest her eyes for a minute.
“Sleep,” Rogan told her. “I’ll talk to Tanner.”
Aedan knocked on Rogan’s door, entering as the other man called out.
“Hey, have you seen Natalya?”
Rogan nodded over at his sofa. “Keep your voice down. Although I doubt a locomotive would wake her right now.”
Aedan spotted Natalya sleeping on the wide, leather sofa. A wool blanket covered her.
“She all right?” he asked.
“Shattered. Stressed. She was asking for you. Where did you go?”
“I needed some fresh air. To clear my head.”
“Yeah?” Rogan asked, rising from his chair. “Are things clearer now?”
“Yes, I just needed some space.” He couldn’t expect that issues from the past wouldn’t raise their head now and then, but he needed to make his position clear to her. Make her understand where he stood.
“I’ll leave you guys alone.” Rogan stood and left the room.
Her lush lashes were inky against her pale skin as she slept. Her full breasts rose and fell with each breath.
Twenty minutes later, she stirred and rubbed her eyes. Blinking rapidly, she stared at him for a long moment.
He smiled down at her. “You always were slow to wake.”
“Aedan? Where am I?” She sat up, looking around in confusion.
“Rogan’s study.”
“Oh no, I fell asleep?”
“Might have had something to do with that,” he said with a grin, nodding at her empty glass.
A chagrined look crossed her face. “What was I thinking?”
Her self-reproach was clear, but he wasn’t about to allow her to wallow in guilt.
“Hush,” he told her firmly. “You’re near collapse. You needed a break and some rest. I ought to put you to bed and make you stay there.”
She raised her eyebrows. “And how would you manage that?”
He grinned. “By fucking you into submission.”
She glared at him, but there was heat in her gaze. He sat next to her, taking her mouth in a kiss that sizzled and burned.
“Later,” he whispered, then brushed her hair back. He’d love nothing more than to take her to bed but now wasn’t the time. “Tell me what Diego said.”
Worried about her, he pulled her onto his lap, listening closely as she told him about the phone call.
“Diego’s an idiot, you know.”
“I know.” But the pain in her voice was clear. “I should be grateful that he wants nothing to do with us.”
“But I guess that it still hurts when he’s Mateo’s father. You need to think about the positive.”
She stared up at him questioningly.
“You can move on with your life, without worrying about him interfering.”
“I suppose you’re right.”
“Come on, you need real sleep. I’ll walk you upstairs.”
What would she do without him? A wash of gratefulness swamped her as he helped her up and placed his arm around her.
“You were always the most dependable person in my life, you know,” she told him, as they walked into the bedroom.
“Jesus, that makes me sound boring.”
“That’s not what I meant,” she protested, as she sat on the bed. He leaned down and removed her shoes. “I just meant that you’ve never let me down, you’ve always been there for me when I needed you.”
Although her life had become more stable after her mother married Stan Murphy, she’d never felt like she had a home until she’d moved in with Aedan. If he said he would do something, then he always followed through.
“Then why did you always expect me to leave you?” he asked, as he helped her strip off her sweatshirt.
What? “What do you mean?”
He helped her stand and pull off her pants.
“You always had one foot out the door, Natalya. You just seemed to be waiting for me to take off and abandon you.”
“That’s not true,” she protested. But maybe it was. She thought about it for a long moment. Had she been waiting for him to leave her the entire time they’d been together?
“Well, I didn’t do it consciously.”
He smiled gently at her as he pulled back the covers of the bed. “No, maybe not consciously. I understand why. Everyone else in your life abandoned you at some time; it’s only to be expected that you’d let that color any relationship you had.”
“Mama never left me. Well, not on purpose.”
He raised his eyebrows as he pushed her into bed. “She worked long hours, though. Leaving you alone a lot.”
“Or with Rio.”
“Someone else who abandoned you.”
“I get your point.” She sat on the bed and curled her legs up against her chest, staring at him pensively. “I guess I wasn’t the easiest of girlfriends, huh? Judgmental, temperamental, emotionally stunted.”
“I wouldn’t say stunted, maybe backward.”
“Backward? That sounds worse!”
He grinned and she rolled her eyes. “When I first met you, you seemed to think everything was a joke.”
“And you were way too serious, lovely.”
“Guess we’ve both changed, huh?”
“Change isn’t always a bad thing, Natalya,” he told her gently, cupping her face. “Sometimes it can be very, very good.”
“Can you ever trust me again, Aedan? Or is this just sex?”
He was sil
ent for a long moment.
“It’s not just about sex. We need to build some trust between us again. Now isn’t the time to make big decisions. But after this is over, you need to think about whether you can truly give me all of you. Because if you can’t, then all that will be between us is sex, so we’ll have to go our separate ways.”
She opened her mouth to reply, but he leaned over her and kissed her. “I want you to think about it. Truly think about it because I will demand all of you. I don’t want to own you or control you, but I do want all of you. Just like you’ll have all of me.” He kissed his way down her body, undoing the front clasp of her bra and pushing the cups aside before swirling his tongue around each rosy-red nipple. “I’m not the same person I was. Neither are you. We need to get to know each other again, and these aren’t the best circumstances to do that in. If you decide you want to try this again, if you can give me everything I demand, then after this is over, we’ll talk again. I will not allow you to hold back, Natalya, and I will be damned if you try to protect me again. If you treat me as though I’m weak or useless, I will walk away without a backward glance.”
Is that what he thought? That she believed he was weak?
Natalya attempted to sit, gripped by the need to make him understand. As soon as she moved, he drew back, staring at her sternly. “Did I say you could move?”
The dominance in his tone was like nothing she’d heard from him before. His voice was pure steel, the look on his face, unbendable. Compelled by him, she found herself lying back and staring up at him in surprise.
“I need to know that you trust me to keep you safe, Natalya. That you need me for more than just sex and my bank account.”
She gasped, outraged. “I was never with you for your bank account! You never had any money before.”
He grinned, showing his more carefree side. “Ahh, but you were with me for the sex?”
“Aedan! This is a really bad time for this conversation.”
“Actually, I think it’s perfect. I have you right where I want you. No more trying to do it all on your own. No more trying to protect me. It makes me feel like less of a man. It makes me feel like my love for you meant less that your feelings for me.”
“Oh, Aedan.” Damn, he sure knew how to make her feel like a complete ass.
“We’ve both changed.” He kissed the top of her mound. “We need to rediscover each other.” He fingered the top of her panties. “I think I should ban panties from your wardrobe, they’re constantly in my way.”
She glared up at him and he chuckled. “Yes, I think that’s a great idea.” He slipped his fingers beneath her panties, circling her entrance with the tip of his finger. Then he pulled her panties off, returning to twirl his tongue around her swollen clit.
“What does this all mean?”
“It means that for the time being I’m going to look after you, and I’m going to do whatever is necessary to find Mateo. Plus, I’m going to fuck you.”
Aedan pushed his fingers deep into her pussy. “Here.” Drawing them out and bringing them up to her face, he brushed her juices on her lips until she opened her mouth and sucked his fingers inside. “Here.” Withdrawing his fingers from her mouth, he held her gaze with his, as he lowered his fingers to her back passage, pushing them between her plump cheeks. “And here.” He pushed his wet fingers against her asshole.
Natalya stiffened. “Aedan, I don’t know if I can—”
“Hush, not tonight. But eventually. For now, just lay back and let me take care of you.”
When he was this determined, there was no point in arguing.
Not that she really wanted to.
Aedan kissed his way around her areola. Then he licked her nipple with light, teasing laps of his tongue.
Grabbing both legs under the knees, he pushed them back toward her chest. “Hold your legs there,” he instructed. Reaching down, he pushed the lips of her pussy apart, blowing slightly on her moist flesh.
Natalya groaned. It wasn’t enough. Not nearly enough. She wanted him to touch her, to consume her.
“Such a sweet pussy. I don’t think I studied it enough before. I was always too eager to get inside you to really appreciate how beautiful it is.”
“God, Aedan.”
“Have you ever watched yourself come, Natalya?” he asked.
“No,” she told him. Surely he wouldn’t, would he?
Standing, Aedan picked her up and carried her over to the mirrored wardrobe doors. He set her down on the floor.
“Aedan, I’m not sure…”
He turned her around to face toward him. “I would never harm or humiliate you. Trust me?”
“Yes.” She didn’t hesitate. There was no other answer.
“Then sit on the floor with your legs apart.”
Knowing that she was blushing hot enough to fry eggs on her cheeks, she did as he ordered.
“Bend your knees; bring them back towards your chest. Look at yourself.” He knelt behind her, placing his legs on either side of her hips as he leaned her back against him. Reaching around her, he cupped her breasts, holding them up. “See how stunning you are.”
He was the one worth looking at. She could feel his taut, toned body behind her. The heat of his skin against hers. The scent of his cologne teased her senses.
“Don’t watch me,” he ordered, giving her a light tap on the thigh. “Or I’ll have you watch while I redden your ass.”
“You wouldn’t.”
“I would.” He studied her closely before grinning. “I think that turned you on. Shall we check?” The strength and surety in his hands held her mesmerized as he slid them down her stomach to her pussy.
“What happened to the curls?” he asked.
“I shaved them off.” Now she wished she’d left herself with some sort of cover. Something to shield herself with.
“All the better to see you with, my dear.”
“Dios mío,” she muttered, as he split the lips of her pussy apart. The pink folds were swollen and slick with dew.
“Ahh, someone is very turned on. Do you like looking at yourself, lovely?”
“No,” she groaned.
He rolled her onto one hip, then gave her two sharp smacks on the ass. “No lying.”
“I’m turned on from being so close to you, from looking at your gorgeous, sexy body. I want you inside me. Please.”
She wasn’t above begging.
“Not yet.” He let her go, and she instinctively closed her legs.
Aedan raised his eyebrows as he stared at her in the mirror. “Uh-uh, no hiding yourself. Spread those legs wide for me. Good girl.”
She scowled at him.
Chuckling as he parted her lower lips with two fingers, he swirled a finger from his other hand through her juices. Then he tapped her clit. Circled it. Tapped it again. She shifted restlessly against him as he nibbled his way down her neck. Each graze of his teeth against her skin made her shiver with delight.
“Shh, stay still. Just let it happen. Watch yourself come. Don’t look away or we’ll have to start this all over again. And next time I might just watch as you make yourself come. Hmm, I might do that sometime anyway.”
He was killing her!
As he slipped one thick finger deep inside her, she shuddered. Watching his tanned fingers play with the delicate folds of her pussy shouldn’t be so arousing, but she couldn’t deny the pleasure flowing through her, twisting and turning, tying her up into knots. Coils of desire drew tighter and tighter.
“That’s it, baby. Come for me. Come hard. Watch yourself.”
She could barely comprehend that the wild-looking woman in the mirror was her. This woman had abandoned all propriety; this woman knew how to live life to the fullest. This woman wouldn’t let anything stand between her and happiness.
Pleasure peaked. She crashed, crying out, barely feeling him move behind her. He lifted her, placing her on her knees before driving his cock deep inside her.
Natalya’s br
eath sobbed in and out. She stared into the mirror. There was a savageness to him. The lust that burned between them grew harder, hotter.
“Watch. Watch.”
Like she could do anything else. His cock might have joined them physically, but it was the possession in his eyes that held them together. He was hers.
Her breasts bobbed with each pounding thrust. Sweat coated both of their bodies; their loud pants filled the room.
Aedan reached down, gently pinching her clit. Sensation so intense it stung and burst through her.
“No, I can’t.”
“You can. You will.” There was no leniency in his gaze. But his touch lightened as he brushed her clit with his finger.
“Come, lovely. Come with me.”
Release slammed into her, catching her breath. She tightened her hold on him as she shook her way through the mind-stealing orgasm. Aedan stiffened behind her, burying his face against her shoulder as he came.
“I can’t move,” he groaned.
Somehow she found the energy to laugh. “This was your idea.”
“Are you complaining?”
“No.”
Never.
Chapter Eight
“What do we do now?” Natalya asked anxiously, as she walked into the living room the next morning. Diego had sent her a text the night before with the name of the man her cousin was seen with—Luis Perez. He was a captain in the ELO.
The thought of Mateo in the ELO’s hands felt like she had acid in her stomach.
“No sign of your cousin anywhere. She hasn’t touched her bank account. She’s probably already over the border,” Tanner told her. “We’re probably going to need Diego’s help to find her.”
“I don’t know if we can rely on him to help¸” she whispered, terrified. Diego had made it perfectly clear that this was all on her.
Her phone rang, startling her.
With a shaking hand, she grabbed the phone.
“Hello?” she answered.
Diego’s cold voice blasted into her ear. “I just received a ransom demand.”
“What? How much?” Hope surged through her. If they wanted money, then it would be in their best interests to keep Mateo alive.
“Put him on speaker,” Tanner urged, grabbing a notepad.