by Sue MacKay
At the edge of the decking Abby leaned over the heavy glass siding to gaze out across the harbour lights. ‘Isn’t this view amazing? I wonder if Hamish ever gets used to it, takes it for granted.’
Kieran watched Abby, not the view she was referring to. ‘I don’t think I’d ever take it for granted.’
Abby leaned further over the edge and Kieran slipped his arm around her shoulders. ‘Don’t want you toppling over.’
It was an excuse to touch her. Dancing together hadn’t been enough, especially as most of that so far had been more about shaking and moving and less about holding and touching. He could only hope that before the night was out the band would play some slower tunes and he’d have a reason to hold Abby in his arms.
‘As if,’ she retorted, but thankfully didn’t pull away.
The music stopped.
‘Time to fill up your glasses, everyone. Five minutes to midnight.’ Hamish spoke above the babble.
‘Five minutes to a new year,’ Kieran spoke softly. ‘What are you hoping for, Abby?’ He knew what he wanted. To make love with this woman, to hold her body against his and stroke her skin, to inflame her desire until she begged him for release.
Abby turned and leaned back against the siding. Her eyes were unfathomable. Were her thoughts aligned with his?
She said, ‘More of the same, really. The kids to be happy and healthy, maybe a promotion at work, Dad to be okay, and the twins to get what they want.’
So much for being on the same wavelength. ‘That’s it? What about you? Don’t you have a big dream in there?’ He tapped her forehead. ‘Something just for you?’
‘Kieran, I’m a mother. Dreams are on hold. And, truly, I’m happy with that.’
So why did sadness lurk in those hazel orbs? He stared at her, trying to look beyond what she was showing him. ‘I’m not buying it.’
‘One minute to twelve,’ someone called out, and Abby straightened up, looked across to where everyone was gathering.
She took his free hand and tugged him along. ‘Come on. Countdown time.’
He went with her, joined in counting down to midnight, and raised his glass in a general toast, before turning to Abby and twining his arm around hers. ‘Happy new year to you, the wonderful mother of my son, and a beautiful woman I hold very close to my heart.’
Saying that out loud made it more real. Suddenly a chill settled over him. In four weeks he’d be heading home. Standing on this deck in the summer warmth, surrounded by friendly, caring people, holding Abby’s hand, the thought of returning to Dublin felt incredibly bleak.
‘Happy new year to you, Kieran. I hope this year brings you everything you want.’ She seemed to be looking for something as she watched him over the rim of her glass. She obviously didn’t find it because her shoulders rose in a slight shrug before she tipped her head back and drained her glass.
‘More bubbles?’ He reached for her glass.
‘No, thanks. I’ve probably overdone it already. Let’s have our first dance of the year.’ And once again she was heading for the dancing, still holding his hand.
Somehow he’d let her down. Damn it, he’d let himself down in some odd way that he couldn’t quite put his finger on. But if she wanted to dance with him then he was more than happy to oblige. Hadn’t he spent half the evening waiting for his chance to dance with her? Only to have her claimed by some other hot-blooded male before he’d had enough time with her?
And now, as he took her into his arms for a slow dance, he wanted her instantly, all of her. Again. Still. Abby felt right in his gentle hold. He drew her closer. Dropped his chin on top of her head. The familiar, sweet Abby scent teased him, embraced him. Stirred him.
Her feet followed his in time to the music. Her body moulded into his. Her breath on his shirt warmed him. Her hand fitted perfectly in his, while her thumb caressed the back of his hand. In the pit of his belly a fire burned. The flames licked his soul, scorched his self-control.
Kieran’s hand squeezed her fingers so hard she missed a beat, tripped over his shoe. Slowly she lifted her head, tilted back in his arms, and looked up into smoky eyes that appeared ready to devour her. Against her stomach she felt his response to her. Instantly her body reacted in reply. She wanted him. No questions asked. No complicated conversations. Abby wanted Kieran. And the sooner the better.
Something flickered in his eyes. Recognition of her desire. Longing. A question. She nodded once. When he gripped her hand tighter she didn’t hesitate but led him away to the sports car. Totally out of character, so wanton, she leaned into him, sought his lips. He kissed her back, hard and fast, and then they were in the cramped car, speeding down the narrow, winding road. Her fingers tapped impatiently on his thigh. Blood pounded in her head. Desire spread out, licking through her body like flames.
Darkened houses blurred past. The night air cooled her fiery skin. Within moments Kieran had parked in his apartment garage. He had her out of the car and into his arms in less time than it took to say ‘Happy new year’.
They had to wait for the elevator, precious minutes they filled with hot, hasty kisses. Not those long, bone-melting kisses she’d come to expect from him but kisses that wound her stomach muscles tighter with each quick search by his tongue. Kisses that caught the corners of her mouth, teased at all her senses, drove her so close to the brink that she thought it would all be over before she’d even started.
‘Kieran, wait a.…’ She forgot the rest as his hands spread down her back, cupped her bottom while his fingers did incredibly sexy things over her skin.
‘You were saying?’ he teased as his mouth trailed down her neck, making her gasp with need.
‘I don’t know.’ Her hands tugged at the buttons of his shirt. Her tongue tripped over his chest. Under her mouth she felt his shudders, and smiled.
A door crashed against a wall. Abby jerked her head up, stared around. ‘Where—?’
‘My apartment.’
How had she missed the elevator ride?
Kieran scooped her up hard against his chest and stepped inside, using his hip to close the door behind him, while his mouth claimed hers once more. Pushing her tongue past his lips, she tasted him and imploded at the heat there. Her hands snagged his shirt, hauled it up and over his head, barely breaking their kiss. Pressing her aching breasts against his chest wasn’t enough. She needed skin to skin. With one quick movement her dress flew over her head and landed somewhere across the hall. Kieran unhooked her bra and she shucked it off, tossed it away. His hands cupped her breasts, his thumbs circled her nipples, took her breath away.
Then they were kissing again; mind-frying, nerve-jangling, combusting kisses that acted like oxygen to flames. Her stomach ached with longing. Her legs trembled with need. Her shaking hands tracked over Kieran’s chest, his belly, circling, stroking, feeling him. Kieran. She wanted him inside her. Nothing else would do.
She wasn’t sure which of them fumbled with the buckle of his belt, jerked the zip down. His trousers bundled at his ankles. Quickly stepping out of them, Kieran kicked them aside. Then his hands were on her waist and her legs were wound around his and, yes, at last, she was sliding down, taking him into her, feeling that wonderful moment when her body no longer seemed real. When all reality disappeared in a haze of desire and sensations that tripped her pulse and took her into another world. And Kieran came with her.
Abby stretched out her legs into the sunlight filtering in through the blinds that neither of them had thought to close during the night. She smiled at the gentle aches in her muscles. All her muscles. Every last one of them. What a night. Rolling her head sideways, she focused on the man who’d spent hours giving her enough pleasure to last a lifetime. It still wasn’t enough. Her smile stretched. Brazen hussy.
‘God, woman, if you purr any louder the neighbours will be calling the noise patrol.’
She laughed out loud and kicked her feet in the air. ‘Bit late for that, don’t you think?’
Kieran’s
grin grew. ‘You…um …we were a bit loud at times.’
‘I bet you get some interesting looks when you leave the apartment today.’ Her stomach rumbled, loudly. Her eyes met his, and they burst out laughing.
‘There’s just no keeping you quiet, is there?’
‘Try feeding me. That should work.’ She sat up and swung her legs over the side of the football-field-sized bed. ‘Food. That’s exactly what I need right now. I’m starving.’
‘Must be all that exercise during the night.’ Kieran followed her off her side of the bed, no doubt thinking it was quicker than moving back across to his side. ‘Let’s hit the shower then go over the road to a café for a cooked breakfast. I fancy bacon and eggs.’
‘And hash browns, tomatoes, mushrooms, sausages.’
‘That hungry, eh?’
‘Did I mention toast?’ She dug through her tiny handbag for her phone. ‘I’d better check in with Dad.’
Kieran chuckled. ‘You’re how old? And you’re checking in with Max?’
She slipped his shirt from the night before over her head. ‘Think I’d better explain that I’ll be a little while yet. He might be expecting me to pick up the kids.’
But her father seemed pleased she’d stayed out overnight.
‘Don’t go getting any ideas, Dad. We had a great time and neither of us wanted to drive home after the party.’ She crossed her fingers at the little white fib.
‘Sure thing, love.’ Was that an I-know-exactly-what-you’ve-been-up-to smile in his voice? Couldn’t be. This was her father.
He was still talking and she struggled to concentrate. ‘Everything’s in hand here. I’m going to take the youngsters to the beach later. Steph and Andrew are coming with us. Why don’t you two join us after your breakfast?’
‘Sounds like a plan.’ Steph and Andrew going to the beach with Dad and the kids? Those two seemed to be getting very domestic these days, and spending more time with the family. What was going on? Had she missed something? Could Steph be settling down?
After hanging up, Abby found the bathroom, where Kieran was already under the jets of hot water, soaping that wonderful body of his.
He watched with hungry eyes as she drew her shirt off. When she stepped into the shower, his hands caught her breasts. ‘Beautiful.’ His fingers kneaded the soft flesh. ‘So beautiful.’
Their shower took a lot longer than normal, and mostly had nothing to do with getting clean.
‘I can’t finish this.’ Abby pushed her plate to one side.
Kieran rolled his eyes at the one sausage left. ‘A rugby prop wouldn’t have done any better. I’ll be surprised if you can get off your chair any time in the next hour.’
‘A gentleman wouldn’t say things like that.’ She grinned, totally at ease with the huge meal she’d just devoured.
‘Guess what?’
‘Yeah, I know, you’re not one.’ Not quite true. Mr Playboy was very definitely a gentleman most of the time. She squirmed as memories of the party crept back. Kieran had been very attentive all evening, making sure she always had a drink when she’d wanted one, holding her supper plate for her. Yes, but playboys did that. It was part of their charisma to be so helpful. But he’d turned down all those offers to dance with just about every female at the party. He’d danced with Hamish’s wife but it would’ve been bad manners not to dance with his hostess.
No, for all she’d seen, Kieran had wanted to spend the time with her. If anyone had been out of line, it had been her. She’d accepted every invitation to hit the dance floor that had come her way. How had he felt about that? Had she hurt him by not staying by his side all night? Time for damage control. ‘Thank you for such a wonderful time last night, all of it. I can’t think when I last partied so hard.’
‘You don’t go out much, do you?’ Kieran watched her through hooded eyes, giving nothing away. ‘Tell me why. Is it because of your ex-fiancé?’
Talk about grabbing her attention. ‘That’s old hat. You don’t really want to know.’ Why did he have to ask about the man who’d hurt her so badly? Today of all days.
‘Yeah, I do. I want to know a whole heap of things about you. I’m really interested. So, why didn’t you marry him?’
‘Because I found out I wasn’t the only female sharing his bed. Even my bridesmaid enjoyed his favours.’
Kieran wrapped her hand in his. ‘That must have hurt terribly.’
‘It did.’ But it wasn’t hurting half as much as usual. Had she finally begun to let it go? Because of Kieran? ‘I didn’t know a thing about his philandering until the day I caught him with my bridesmaid a week before the wedding. After that people at work were quick to tell me about all the other indiscretions.’
‘He worked at the hospital?’
‘Dr Phillip de Hendez, general surgeon.’
‘The Dr de Hendez? The one who tarnished his reputation trying to cover up a mistake in the operating theatre by pushing the blame onto his house surgeon?’
‘The very same one. I see the hospital gossip mill is still working on that one.’ A touch of bitterness coloured her voice. She’d have hoped by now that anything to do with Phillip would’ve been forgotten.
‘From what I hear, it did the hospital a lot of damage. He was the reason I was so rigorously checked out before I got the nod to come.’ He still held her hand, and now he squeezed it gently. ‘Looks like you’re better off without him.’
Oh, yes, heaps better off. Phillip’s ego had always needed stroking, bolstering. At the time she hadn’t realised she wouldn’t be good enough for him. ‘You’re right.’
He changed the subject again. ‘You know something? I had a lot of fun last night, too.’ Those all-seeing eyes held her gaze. ‘From the moment I picked you up the night became special. I admit to being blinded by the sight of you in that dress. My driving may have been very erratic, for all I know.’
The dress she still wore. Who took extra clothing to a party? ‘Yeah, you were a bit fast.’ On all accounts. Right down to that morning’s shower. And she’d been with him all the way.
Now she wanted more of what they’d shared last night. Not just today, but every day. She wanted Kieran in her life, full time. Like that was ever going to happen. In the end she’d only get hurt. And sooner rather than later as he would be heading home. She should be distancing herself from him, not getting involved. But it had been wonderful.
Glancing at her watch, she sighed. ‘I probably should be getting home.’
‘That’s a shame.’ But he stood up and held her chair for her. ‘I’ll have to talk to Steph and Charlie and make sure they look after the children more so you can have other fun.’
The sizzle under her skin began to fade. ‘Kieran, I might have had a wonderful time with you but I don’t want anyone else in my life at the moment. Neither do the kids.’ Some time between the dancing and the sheets she’d fallen in love with him. Or had that happened long before, two years ago, and only now was she admitting it? Relief settled over her. She would never marry Kieran but at least she could admit to loving him. Sadness replaced her relief. Was she doomed to unrequited love? Yes, without doubt.
‘Abby …’ He hesitated then went on, ‘I’m going back to Ireland soon.’ Caution filled his eyes, quickly followed by guilt.
Did he really feel bad about leaving the children? She doubted his guilt had anything to do with her. ‘I know that.’
He looked desperate for her to understand. ‘Coming here has turned out to be the best decision I’ve made in a long time. I needed to get to know Olivia. She’s my family and I’ve let her down badly.’ He paused, struggling with something deep inside. She could see it in his eyes, in his stance.
‘Go on,’ she said quietly, knowing she wouldn’t like what she heard but needing to get it out in the open.
‘Then there’s Seamus. He’s awesome. I love him. And that’s been a revelation. I will help out with him the same way I do with Olivia.’
‘Financially.’ The
word was sour in her mouth.
‘I hope you’re not expecting me to stay on, to be closer to you and the children. I can’t do that.’
Well, she might not understand why he’d want to walk away from his son, but she couldn’t say she hadn’t been warned. He’d always made it absolutely clear where he stood on the subject of families. His Christmas Eve apology for making it so hard for her hadn’t changed his stance.
‘Can’t? Or won’t?’ Her stomach clenched uncomfortably. The wonderful morning had fallen off track. Their camaraderie of the last hours was being tested, and failing. She’d always known Kieran had no intention of staying and she shouldn’t have expected anything different. But for a few hours she’d forgotten all that and had allowed herself to dream. What a fool she’d turned out to be.
Kieran was good for a one-night fling, maybe even a few more nights over the coming weeks, but there’d never be any more from him. He had warned her. Told her about his commitment phobia, explained why he didn’t want or feel capable of being a full-time parent, let alone someone’s husband.
The previous evening she’d thought she could do the one-night-stand thing, but she’d been fooling herself. No way could she walk away from what had happened between them and pretend her heart was intact. Not when she loved him.
Kieran said nothing as they walked back across the road to his apartment block garage. He pinged the lock on the four-wheel drive. Back to the practical vehicle. Her date was over. Abby suddenly felt stupid, shabby even. Dressed in last night’s party dress, it was obvious for all to see that she hadn’t been home. It hadn’t mattered until now. Immediately she wanted to be at home, dressed in mother-of-two underwear, comfortable shorts and a baggy T. Cinderella back in the wardrobe.
Why had she fallen in love with Kieran? Another man who liked to have a good time but did not want to put down any roots? What was wrong with her that she could only love men who couldn’t love her back the way she wanted, needed, to be loved?
CHAPTER ELEVEN
INSIDE the vehicle Kieran leaned his head back and sighed. ‘I haven’t made you any promises that I can’t keep.’
