His To Keep (His and Hers Book 4)

by Vivian Wood

  He was so goddamned blinded by his past, he didn’t stop for even a second to think about her. She never would have done that to him. It was no surprise that his father had propositioned her. Actually, Connor was surprised it had taken his father so long.

  Connor knew that Sam would never take his father up on anything. But in that moment, all he’d seen was red.

  It had taken him an hour to cool down in the woods. At first, he’d stomped around like mad. Scared rabbits had darted out of bushes. But slowly, he’d calmed down. Nature had hugged him close, and it had soothed him. The crunch of his shoes on the ground and the twittering of birds had eventually had a calming effect on him.

  By the time he’d circled back around to The Cottage, he’d made up his mind. He’d make an apology, a genuine one, and smooth everything over. He was madly in love with her. He’d known it for quite some time. Why had he been so stubborn about it?

  Connor had broken out into a smile when he saw the stately white resort come into view. He’d bounded up the steps and raced to their suite. The first thing he’d noticed was all her belongings were gone. Then he’d seen the ring on the dresser with a blank piece of paper beside it.

  It was a small gesture, but it had gutted him to the core. He knew it was over for good. Of course he’d have James get all the money to her, but he didn’t give a damn about any of that. He just wanted her.

  He’d stopped trying to reach her after six voicemails and countless texts. Connor could tell she’d read none of them. She probably deleted them as soon as they came in.

  “Fuck,” he said loudly as one of the solids, for the other team, went neatly into a pocket.

  He stood up and saw Jay and Chase give each other a look. “Why don’t you just call her?” Chase asked.

  Connor was startled. Was he that obvious? Why didn’t they assume it was about work or something? It’s not like he’d told them his father had fired him from his lofty figurehead position.

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said as he chalked his cue stick. There was already a thick layer of blue on the tip.

  “Dude, come on,” Jay said. “We’re tired of your moody ass. It’s been a month and you’re not letting up.”

  “Can we just get back to the game?” he asked.

  “We’d love to! If you could remember how to play,” Chase said.

  Connor sighed. They were right. He’d thought of nothing else for the past month but Sam. She’d been right all along. That line he’d given her about not wanting to be tied down was childish. It was immature and needlessly hurtful. Besides, he’d been engaged before—to her, it must have looked like an obvious jab.

  He wandered to the bar and pulled out his phone. It went directly to her voicemail. Damn. Connor downed the last of his lukewarm beer. “Hey, guys,” he said as he walked back to the billiards table, “I’m gonna head out.”

  “Yeah?” Chase asked. “Early day tomorrow?”

  “Something like that,” he said.

  He was almost home when his phone lit up with a text from her. I need to see you. Your place, she said. His heart started to pound.

  Finally. He’d get a chance to apologize and everything could be made right. It was all he wanted. Her, that was all he wanted. Be there in ten, he replied.

  When he pulled up, she was on the porch steps. His headlights hit her, and his heart lifted. She looked amazing in tight jeans and a flowy peasant blouse. Without having to try, she always looked perfect. But there was a look of worry on her face.

  “Sam,” he said, and bolted out of his car. “I’m sorry, I—”

  “Don’t,” she said as she held up a hand. “I need to get this out.” She took a deep breath. “I want you to know, I don’t expect anything from you. Financially, emotionally or otherwise. But I still think you deserve to know.”

  It was obviously a pre-planned speech, and he forced himself to be quiet. It was the least he could do for her.

  “You and I, I know it was just a business arrangement. And I don’t blame you any more than I do myself for this. But telling you is the right thing to do—”

  He went rigid. “What are you trying to say?” he asked. Though he knew, deep down. He just needed to hear her say the words.

  The color drained out of her face. “I’m pregnant.”

  He was stunned. Just two words to change your life forever. “You’re… I’m…”

  “If you’re going to ask if it’s yours, yes,” she said.

  He nearly laughed. “I know that,” he said. “I don’t doubt it—”

  “I just, I thought you should know. And I’m going to have it, so don’t try to talk me out of it. Or buy me off or whatever. And if you want to be involved in some way, that’s totally your call, but if not that’s okay, too—”

  He kissed her into silence. God, she tasted good. It felt like home, natural and easy. He got hints of those multi-layered fruity gum pieces she loved, and her own sweet scent.

  When they broke apart, he pressed his forehead against hers. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I wish I could say more, but that’s the heart of it. I’m sorry for all the things I’ve done wrong, for all the assumptions I made. You didn’t deserve any of it.”

  She looked at him with tears in her eyes.

  “Do you, do you think you can forgive me?”

  “Forgive you, yes,” she said. “But I… I don’t know if I want you back.”

  His breath hitched. Connor’s head hung heavy. “I know I was wrong,” he said. “About so many things, countless things. And this isn’t an excuse, but—your past gets you. You know? My father, growing up in his shadow. There were times, with you, where I saw parts of him come out in me and I hated it.”

  “You’re not like your father,” she said.

  “And then there was Sandra. My ex. She—God, I guess she fucked me up worse than I thought. It didn’t help that I tried to make you just slide neatly into her place. And my dad, he bought her and then tried to pull the same stunt with you—”

  “None of that matters,” she said simply. He realized she was right.

  “I know,” he said. “I’m sorry.”

  “Connor,” she said as she put her hands on his shoulders. “I… look, if you ever so much as think about treating me like that again, even a whiff of it, I’m gone. Do you understand?”

  A smile stretched across his face. She would take him back. He’d get one last chance. “I get it,” he said.

  “This isn’t a game anymore,” she said. “Game’s over.”

  He held her chin in his hands and looked into her eyes. “I know,” he said. “You know, I’ve… I’ve never even thought about being a father.”

  She bit her lip and looked down. He traced a hand along her stomach. It felt just as smooth and taut as ever, but he swore he could feel the baby just centimeters from his fingers. A miracle had happened.

  “Well, I never thought about being a mother,” she said. “Not anytime soon, anyway.”

  “Plans are for suckers,” he said, and she laughed.

  “I, you know, I think I know when it happened,” she said.

  “Really? How could you possibly narrow it down?” he teased her.

  “Call it a mother’s instinct,” she said. “But I know. Just like I knew I was pregnant without having to see the test. Monaco.”

  “Really?” he asked. “I mean, that makes sense. We didn’t really do anything else during that time—”

  She punched him lightly on the arm. Connor pulled her into his arms and carried her inside. She giggled and batted at his back. “Put me down!” she said. “You’re carrying precious cargo.”

  “You’ve always been precious cargo,” he told her as he set her gently on his bed. “It’s just that it’s been doubled now.”

  “So you’re not mad?” she asked. He was shocked, but saw the honesty in her eyes. How could she possibly think he’d be mad?

  “Of course not!” he said. “I’m surprised, but happy. Isn’
t that funny? I’m happy.”

  She took his hand. “That’s not funny at all,” she said. “I’m glad. I’m happy, too.”

  He kissed her and they stretched out on his bed. When he kissed her from her ripe lips to down past her throat, he lingered at her stomach and held his head against her warm skin. “What do you hear?” she asked quietly.

  “Your heartbeat,” he told her. “It’s fast.”

  She giggled. “Can you blame me?”

  As he pressed his ear softly against her stomach, he tried to imagine all the magic that had happened below the surface. They’d done this. They’d made this. I promise, I’ll be a good father to you, he said to himself. Connor was certain the baby could read his mind. You won’t know anything like what I did.

  “Hey,” Sam said softly. “Are you falling asleep down there?”

  “Sorry,” he said, and kissed his way back up. “Just having a moment.”

  32

  Sam

  Sam was over the moon. She’d spent the last few days in bed with Connor, and god it had felt good.

  It was the same, yet deliciously different, in Connor’s bed. She’d been more than shocked at how happy he was with the news. When he’d undressed her just now, he’d been overly gentle.

  “I’m not going to break,” she’d teased him.

  In response, he’d bitten her neck and made her squeal. He’d whipped off her shorts and pulled her to a seated position. When he’d lifted her arms overhead with her blouse, he’d paused for a moment. Her wrists had been bound in his hand, and she couldn’t see anything with the shirt over her eyes.

  But her mouth was free. She felt his lips on hers, and the width of his tongue as it traced her own. Naked and exposed, the cool breeze from his open window played across her breasts.

  “Connor,” she said, and struggled against his hold.

  She could hear the smile in his voice. “Patience,” he said.

  She smiled in response, into his kiss, while he kept her arms overhead. Sam could only sense his next moves. He pulled at her lip with his teeth and wandered his mouth to her earlobe. Connor sucked at her neck while his other hand traced circles at her areolas.

  Slowly, his hand moved downward. He hovered at her stomach, but kept going. Sam spread her legs eagerly, desperate to have him. He barely glanced across her clit, but it brought a shiver down her body.

  “You’re always so wet,” he said, as if in disbelief. She pressed against his finger as he swept them through her folds. Bringing the warm juices to her mouth, he spread her excitement across her lips and kissed her deeply. Finally, he finished removing her blouse.

  She opened her eyes as he lowered her down. Connor knelt between her legs, pulled off his own shirt and unbuttoned his jeans. Sam pulled eagerly at his thighs in an attempt to get him closer.

  “Eager, are we?” he asked. He slid his length along her clit and let her wetness act as the only lubricant.

  Sam arched her back. She wanted him inside her, needed him inside her. “Connor,” she started to say, but he obliged her and slid in deep. She gasped out, and he grabbed hold of her hips.

  He brought her to orgasm quickly and used his thumb to manipulate her clit while he fucked her slowly. Sam squeezed at her nipples, and watched his gorgeous face as he gazed down at her. “You’re beautiful,” he told her right as she came.

  He wasn’t far behind. As soon as the first wave hit her, he gave a small cry and emptied himself into her. Sam’s nails dug into his thighs. “Stay,” she said softly. She wanted to feel his hardness inside her all the way until the end.

  Spent, he stretched onto his back beside her. “Thought of any names yet?” he asked.

  She turned on her side and faced him. “I’ve barely had enough time to even process it as a reality.”

  “How many people know?” he asked.

  “Just two. Well, three now, including you.”

  “Who are the other two?” he asked.

  “Ellie and Aunt Mary,” she said with a shrug. “And that wasn’t even planned. Ellie just happened to Facetime me at the right time, and she knew. There’s no tricking that girl. It didn’t help that…”

  “That what?”

  “Well, she’d been pregnant once, too. Lost it though.”

  “I’m sorry,” Connor said. “But she’s young. Are they going to try again?”

  She smiled at him. “I don’t know. They weren’t exactly trying the first time. I still can’t believe it! There’s no way I even would have guessed I’d be the first of my friends to have a baby.”

  “I can only imagine what my mother will say,” he said with a shake of his head. “She’ll want to start planning a shower immediately.”

  “It’s way too soon to tell anyone,” she said softly. Sam traced patterns along his chest.

  “It is?”

  “Let’s at least wait until after the first trimester.”

  “Dang,” he said. “No names, no baby shower, I thought women got all baby crazy.”

  “Give me time,” she said with a grin. “I just need to get there. I’m probably still in as much shock as you! But don’t worry, I’ve already been researching weird symptoms and things like that. I’m sure I’ll be suitably crazy by the time the baby gets here.”

  “Let me talk to her?” he asked, suddenly. Connor looked eager and excited like she’d never seen him before.

  “Her? Her who?”

  He gestured to her stomach.

  “What makes you think it’s a girl?” she asked.

  “I don’t know. I didn’t really think about it, it just sounded right.”

  She had to agree. “What are you going to say?” she asked with a laugh as he lowered himself to her stomach.

  “It’s a secret,” he said. She thought he was joking, but he spoke so softly to her stomach she barely made out any words. He faced away from her, and his voice created the tiniest of winds across her stomach. No matter what he said, the love in his voice was palpable.

  “Are you going to be one of those people who plays Beethoven against my stomach for the next eight months?” she asked when he’d finished.

  “Is that supposed to help?” he asked.

  She rolled her eyes. “So… what now? I have to be honest. I kind of thought I’d just say my piece and be out of here. I didn’t expect this.”

  “You underestimated me,” he said with a wink. “Don’t worry, it’s not your fault. It’s mine.”

  “You still didn’t answer me,” she said.

  “Well, I don’t know how much you’ve heard. Technically, I was laid off. Though, it was really more of a combination of quitting and being fired. After I sucker punched my dad at The Cottage, he wasn’t exactly keen on having me at the office.”

  “Oh,” she said softly.

  “It’s alright. I was going to quit anyway. And really, he couldn’t exactly just fire the COO like that. It required board approval and cutting through a ton of red tape. I think it was best for everyone. I got a pretty sweet severance package, though.”

  “Connor, I’m so happy for you,” she said. Sam propped herself up on an elbow. “I know how miserable you were there.”

  “Yeah,” he said. “It’s… I don’t know. Scary in ways, I guess. But I’m going to set out on my own. I don’t know if it will be in security, but there’s got to be something SEAL training has prepared me for.”

  “There’s always event management,” she said with a laugh.

  “Don’t tempt me.”

  “I don’t know,” she said. “I feel like we’re in the same boat. Not that I can compare my job to yours in the least. On so many levels. But I’m just floating by, you know? I certainly don’t love my job.”

  “Maybe we can figure something out together,” he said.

  “What do you mean?”

  “Who knows. A few weeks ago I never would have fathomed being where we are now. And now, I can’t imagine it any other way. What do you say? The three of us against the world.�
�

  She cradled her stomach and looked at him. “I couldn’t see it any other way,” she said. She let out a breath. “What does your mom say about all this, though? I like her, even though she lets your dad use her as a doormat. I can’t imagine what she’s going through.”

  “She’s tougher than she looks,” he said. “But, like I said, she’s going to absolutely flip over the baby. I know, I know, it’s a secret for a little bit longer. But trust me, that’s going to be her whole world when she finds out.”

  “I haven’t even thought about telling my mom yet,” Sam said. “Or the people at work! God, they’re going to flip out.”

  “In a good way?” he asked.

  She shrugged. “Ellie and Aunt Mary are already over the moon. I was so terrified when I found out for certain. You know? And it was just a couple of days ago, but now I can’t figure out why.”

  “Well, you and I do tend to do things out of order when it comes to us,” he said.

  “What do you mean?”

  “Well, we got engaged first. Broke up next. Baby after that.”

  “Broke up?” she asked. “How can you break up with someone you’ve paid to be your faux fiancée?”

  “You’d be surprised what I can do,” he said and raised her brows at her.

  She laughed. “No. Nothing you do surprises me anymore. I’ve got your number, mister.”

  “Oh yeah?” he asked. “How about this then?”

  He reached toward his nightstand and pulled out the familiar engagement box.

  “You didn’t!” she said. It was a beautiful ring, but there was a piece of her that was saddened. In some ways, it would always remind her of how they started—the ugly and the good. Plus, she’d look ridiculous with that beast on her in almost every situation.

  “You’re right, I didn’t,” he said. He looked sheepish. “Sorry, but I couldn’t bear to take any excess that reeked of my father’s money.”

  “Huh?” she asked, and he opened the box.

  Inside was a light pink gem surrounded by a small cluster of diamonds. Sam caught her breath. It was absolutely breathtaking, and completely her. “Connor, it’s—”