His To Keep (His and Hers Book 4)

by Vivian Wood

  Well, she told him everything but the part about it being fake- and the sexually explicit parts, she knew how he felt about that.

  “I’m sorry to be doing this to you again, Josh. I just feel so stupid and used and fucking naïve!”

  “Ser, no one would have passed up on the chance he gave you as an assistant to Misery. I don’t think even I would have passed up the chance to work with Misery! You got to know them, see the inside workings of the band a little. People would kill for that chance. Hell, people would kill for you to write a tell-all novel, but you won’t, will you?”

  “No,” she sniffed. “I love him, Josh. Fucking sad, but just as true. I love him, everything about him, everything that he is, was and will be. Not only the parts of himself the world knows and think they love, I love the real him. All of him.”

  He inhaled a sharp breath. “Between assholes like Bryan and Rhys, how do you even know what’s real?” he questioned.

  Without waiting for an answer, he slid over to her and lifted her chin so that her teary eyes were looking straight into his clear ones, set with determination. “I’m real. I’m real, Ser. Always have been.” Without warning, he brought his lips possessively to hers, his hands in her hair, holding her to him.

  She was so completely shocked that she stilled. Not kissing him back, not moving, she'd just let him move until he was done, until he realized that this was a mistake.

  Suddenly, Josh’s warmth was off her, his breath huffing from him as he was flung against the wall. Out of nowhere Rhys has appeared. Fuck! Thomas must have told him where he had dropped her. Rhys? Why was he here? Why did he even care where she was?

  Rhys’s fist slammed into Josh again.

  “No!” Her voice sounded far more commanding than she felt. “Stop, Rhys.”

  “So this is where you disappeared to? To a secret meeting with your friend? What, you’d rather be with this fucker than with me, Serena?” Rhys demanded, voice dripping with sarcasm.

  “Have you two been together this whole time, taking my money and laughing behind my back? Should have waited until we started recording, Serena. You would have had hours before I would have noticed you weren’t there, but you couldn’t even wait through a band meeting? These last few days must have been hell for you, no wonder you wanted me to drop you off on the way to the beach…” He had the audacity to look hurt, really hurt.

  She kept quiet at first, then gathered her wits and started seething quietly. “First, that fucker - as you so eloquently put it - is one of my oldest friends and you’ve hurt him, and me. Second, how dare you accuse me of that? You know very well what my feelings are about fidelity in relationships, Rhys. Not that that’s what you and I had, obviously. But if I was with Josh, I wouldn’t have been with you. Not for all the goddamn money in fucking world. Last, these last few days at the beach were the complete opposite of hell for me - best days of my life, even - can’t imagine they’ve been the same for you though. So if it’s all the same to you Rhys, I think it’s best if you just leave.” Her throat burned as she said the words, tears streaming down her face again, but there was no escaping what she was to him…

  She had no idea why he had come after her, maybe it was because she shattered his public image, maybe it was because she ended his little game and not him, she didn't know. But she couldn't care, it wasn't because he loved her, that was the only thing she knew for sure, and that was the only thing that mattered.

  Rhys looked at her, hurt and disgust and rage clear in his piercing eyes. “Maybe you were never anything but a fucking fake after all… Don’t fucking call me. Ever. I’m not changing my number again just for this, okay? So do me one fucking favor and lose it!” He didn't look back as he strode toward the car and Thomas sped away.

  24

  Josh had struggled to get up with a, “What the fuck, Serena?” Their coffee waitress had witnessed the encounter and was waiting with a frozen bag of something when he’d found his way to his feet. He’d shot her a long look and then hailed a cab and left. A wounded look on his face indicated that his emotional pain went way past the physical wounds Rhys had inflicted.

  When he was gone, she sat in stunned silence at the events of the last few minutes and then hailed a cab, seriously needing her best friend. She stuttered out Mary’s address through her sobs. She had no idea if she was even home,, but she would just sit and wait if she wasn't.

  Hoping that her friends were home seemed to be becoming a thing with her, she registered in the back of her mind, but she didn't dwell on it. She had no capacity for anything other than Rhys right now. The gaping hole in her chest was burning and her stomach was roiling. It didn't feel like the tears were ever going to end or like this feeling was ever going to subside, so she clutched her arms around herself trying to keep the pieces of her body together when it felt like she was being ripped apart and just kept sobbing.

  “You total and complete sorry excuse for a friend!” Mary exclaimed as she opened her door and threw her arms around her, pulling her into a tight hug before even looking at her properly.

  “You go AWOL with my favorite rock star and I don’t hear a peep!” Her face dropped when she released her and she saw Serena's face.

  “Clearly, said most favorite rock star is not a man for matters of the heart,” she said, pulling her into another hug and closing her door behind them.

  She led her to the patio, mixed them cocktails and stroked her hair while she cried. She just listened, not saying a word as she conveyed the story of her heartbreak through ugly, loud sobs. She sipped her cocktail and the strong alcohol burned down her throat, but it loosened up her tongue and she told her absolutely everything. Even if she had signed a contract saying she wouldn’t tell a soul, she didn't care.

  It took a few hours for her to cry herself out, for now anyway. After the cocktails, Mary had settled her on her couch in a pair of her pajama pants and a tub of ice cream as she listened to her relaying every minute of the past few weeks, how she had fallen head over heels in love with a man who didn’t want her for anything more than to pose for a couple of pictures…

  Now that the tears had subsided and the story had been told, she was exhausted. Completely drained, her mind was numb and each limb weighed about a thousand pounds.

  She had absolutely no idea how she was going to survive this. People died of broken hearts, don’t they? Maybe that was what happening to her she thought as she curled into a ball on Mary’s couch, watching some horrible action movie that she’d just started, clearly sensing that she was done talking for now and needed to just try and deal with this pain for now.

  She didn't know how long she lay there, drifting in and out of consciousness until her eyelids were finally just too heavy and she gave in. Yup, definitely dying, was her last thought as she drifted away with an image of Rhys’s beautiful relaxed smile fixed on her.

  It hit her like a ton of bricks when she opened her eyes as one of Mary’s movies ended. Rhys wasn't here. He was gone. Everything came tumbling back into her mind, the pain worse than before. She squeezed her eyes shut, trying to block it out. But all she saw was Rhys turning and walking away from her outside that coffee shop. It was real. He was gone. He never loved her.

  Before she started sobbing again, Mary’s eyes caught hers as she spoke softly.

  “He called me, you know?”

  “He? Rhys? How?”

  “Don’t know, my damn heart near seized up when I heard his voice. Don’t know how you survived that voice.” She tried not to think about his voice, that beautiful, melodic voice and bellowing laugh… The tears swam in her eyes.

  “But why’d he phone?” she managed eventually.

  “Wanted to know where I thought you’d be, muttered something about how his security had become too close to you to tell him. He sounded really stressed, at the risk of sounding biased.”

  Oh, bless Thomas! He hadn’t given her location away after all! She knew she liked him, even if it didn’t mean anything now…
/>
  “I told him that since you’d run off with him, he’s the one who should know where you are. But I told him to try the coffee shop anyway. When I asked him why he didn’t know where you were, he said that he had no idea, one second everything was ‘fucking perfect’ and the next you had bolted on him without a word.”

  “Seriously, that’s what he said? Everything wasn’t ‘fucking perfect,’ at all… I thought it was, but I just didn’t know it yet. And I didn’t just bolt, I ran because he broke my heart. Then he hit one of my oldest friends for no good reason!”

  “Honey, you know that I’m a hundred percent ‘Team Serena,’ despite the fact that I’d give my pinky toe to meet that band, but let’s look at the scenario objectively for a second.” She sounded like every bit the lawyer she was about to become as she listed the facts.

  “You listened in on a conversation that wasn’t meant to be heard by anyone other than those in the room, nor did you stick your eavesdropping through. You have no idea what happened after that. Rhys doesn’t know that you overheard him and you didn’t stick around to hear where he was going with that conversation. All Rhys knows is that it looks like you snuck off to see Josh as soon as he was in a meeting and when he shows up, there you are kissing skeezy Josh. What’s he supposed to think?”

  Mary never had liked Josh much, but skeezy?

  “He doesn’t know what you heard, nor do you know the context of his words and he doesn’t know that Josh kissed you and not the other way around. But you kissing Josh at all, I think makes it look pretty damn clear to him, friend. Whether you think so or not, you owe him a chance to explain his side of things and you should do the same. I’m not saying you have to do it right now, but if he really means something to you - and it’s obvious that he does - you owe yourself at least that much.”

  “He means everything to me.” She'd never been more sure of anything in her life.

  “Then you have to try, babe. Ask him to meet. To talk. Give him a chance to explain, everything isn’t always as it seems - you know that better now, after what happened with Josh.”

  She was right, Serena knew she was. But she didn't know if she could handle hearing those words from him again. However, she was also right about the Josh situation. She owed it to herself to at least try to explain it to him. A loud groan escaped as she made the decision. She'd face the pain, she had to. But not right now, she needed a day or two to build up the strength to do it. Just so he could tear her down all over again.

  They spent the next couple of days on those couches in their pajamas, eating ice cream straight from the tub and watching terribly bad horror movies. Mary had some Marvel movies saved on her DVR and every time she scrolled past one, there was a stabbing pain in her heart and stomach, and the edges of her vision blurred. She couldn't face him…

  She'd been going back and forth in her mind on the decision that she'd made to see Rhys, to try to explain and give him a chance to do the same if he wanted to.

  Katie came over in the morning. She hugged her tight and also listened to her story. Again, she didn't care about being sued. She knew neither of these girls would say anything.

  Her parents, Katie informed her, were still horrified. Now that she was shacking up with a tattooed man and her mom was telling everyone who would listen that Bryan broke her heart, apparently she was just having a little tantrum until she “came back on board.”

  The foundation, however had been able to open up two new houses with the proceeds from Misery’s music video, so that was a definite plus. Although her heart still ached thinking about them. Rhys had gone underground. Whatsapp didn't even show when last he was online. Jett, Milo and Luc had all sent messages asking whether she was okay, but on receiving messages from her phone, they’d all been quiet again and she didn’t reach out to them either, even though she ached to.

  Having rehashed the situation with Rhys again and again, even her sister now agreed with Mary that she owed it to herself to at least try if she really did love him. Though after the last few days, neither of them doubted that she did. Katie sat on one side of her now, and Mary on the other.

  “You said a day or two three days ago, honey. Do it! Right now, text him. Or call him. Send him a damn carrier pigeon if you want, but it’s time. You can’t wait any longer, Serena. It’s eating you up, and I’m worried,” Katie said as she hugged Serena to her. Mary was scrolling on her phone when she suddenly stopped, squinted at it for a second and agreed with Katie.

  “Now does seem to be a good time. They’re all at the Misery house chilling around the pool, from the looks of things.”

  Her stomach dropped, and it felt like she had taken a vice to her heart. “How do you know?” she breathed when her lungs finally filled with enough air again.

  “Luc posted a picture on Instagram. None of them have posted anything anywhere since the day it happened, but this post from Luc just popped up, see?” She turned her phone to show them the post, but she squeezed her eyes shut. Can’t. Look. At Him. Also seems I can’t not look at him, she thought as she found herself peeking at the screen.

  God, he’s gorgeous! Her mouth dried up and her heart thudded in her chest as she stared at his face on the screen. He was everything to her… And he did not look happy, at all. Seeing the look on his face solidified her decision. He might break her, but she owed it to herself to try. They were right.

  She reached for her phone as Katie gave a low whistle. “He looks like a thundercloud!” she remarked quietly.

  Katie and Mary exchanged a look. “A lot like you, actually, sis.” She might look like a shitty thundercloud, but running after him was like chasing after a thunderous cloud, you’d never catch it…

  She closed her trembling fingers on her phone all the same, and they both gave her a tiny nod, watching her intently.

  Serena: I know you said not to call. So I’m not. But I also haven’t lost your number. Sorry… Any chance you’d be willing to meet up? I need to explain… please let me explain?

  She set her phone down in her lap, spine as stiff as a board. But nothing happened. She checked it a million times to make sure it hadn’t turned off, or just hadn’t alerted her to an incoming message. Nothing.

  Katie and Mary were making small talk now, not taking their eyes off her for too long. They’d sat quietly for a few minutes after she'd sent the text, waiting for his reply with her, before they figured they’d better distract her.

  She felt like she was going to hurl. Their words swam around in her head and she couldn't concentrate on a single thing they were saying. He was rejecting her, he wasn't going to give her a chance to explain… her stomach turned in a way that alerted her that she was, in fact, going to hurl and she ran to the bathroom and lost all the ice cream she'd eaten this morning.

  Katie appeared behind her, rubbing her back and handed Serena her phone after she'd washed her hands.

  “You got a message, sis,” she said timidly.

  Her face blanched, and she thought she was going to be sick again. If he said no… she squeezed her eyes shut and lay down on the cold tiled floor of the bathroom before she opened the message.

  Rhys: Fine. Century Park. One hour.

  Five words. Five small words. Objectively, that’s all they were. To her, right this minute, they were a beautiful shining beacon of the most dangerous emotion someone in her position could feel, hope.

  He said yes! She was dizzy with relief, and she let out a manic laugh. “He said yes!” she squealed to Mary and Katie who were both standing over her looking worried. Then they breathed a collective sigh of relief and then pulled her to her feet and into a jumping group hug.

  “When are you meeting him?” Mary’s excited voice squealed in her ear.

  “An hour.” She breathed another sigh of relief, stupid hope swelling like a balloon inside her.

  “Well, then. I hate to break it to you friend, but you need to take a shower and do something about your hair. Fast. Katie and I will go find you something to
wear.”

  They giggled as they rushed from the bathroom to Mary’s room, chattering excitedly. When had they become so close? They’d always tolerated each other, but they’d never been friends, exactly.

  She stole a look at her reflection in the mirror and felt like someone had landed a punch in her gut. She looked like shit. They were right. Again. She was going to have to do something about this, quickly!

  She rushed through the shower, washing her hair twice and then wrapped herself in a towel, towel dried her hair and headed to Mary’s room.

  Katie had brought some of her clothes over that had still been at their parents’ house and her eyes fell to the dress they had chosen. It was perfect. It was a deep blue sundress that matched the color of her eyes almost perfectly.

  She'd forgotten that she even had this! It fell just above her knees and showed a decent amount of cleavage. Rhys loved her in dresses… she licked her lips at the thought, but then stopped that train of thought in its tracks. She couldn't get ahead of herself, there was a lot of ground to cover before there would be any licking for her. If I ever get to lick him again, the depressing thought hit her and brought her back to Earth.

  Mary produced a necklace and pair of sandals that went perfectly with the dress while Katie brushed through her thick dark hair vigorously. It was still wet, but she didn't have time to dry it fully, so natural waves it would be. She applied light makeup, taking care that she at least tried to cover the dark circles around her eyes.

  Both girls grabbed their bags as she picked up hers.

  “Where are you going?” she asked skeptically.

  “We’re coming with you, sis. Moral support. If it goes badly, we’ll be there to pick up the pieces and if it goes well, we meet Rhys. Maybe the guys will be moral support for him,” Katie quipped with a glint in her eyes.

  “I’m not sure, guys. He won’t want an audience…” she trailed off.